pop/chill

Softheart

softheart

sadness

playlist bain

Sad Summerzzz 24®

i would’ve left just the same as you 

@nevrfall

you hurt me in ways that you don’t even know 
n you’re never there when i need u the most
n you never care when i break n it shows 
don’t say that you’ll stay when i know that you’ll go

i jus keep getting fucking worse 
i’m moving backwards 
i’ll keep on breaking 
do your worst 
it doesn’t matter 
it’s funny that i need you
we won’t have an ever after 
say you love me while you’re fucking someone else,

how does that work
our love was filled with patchwork 
a fucked up worn out pattern 
n everything was shattered 
so tell me how does that work 
n i thought you were better 
but every night my chest hurts 
n i can’t take the pressure 
so tell me how does that work 

so what does it feel like 
to know that you’re always on my mind 
to know that i really broke this time 
to know that it’s fucked up my whole life 
i don’t know what to do 
know that i hate me too 
n i would’ve left 
just the same as you 
n i can’t sleep 
in this worn out room 
drink through the night 
till my heart turns blue 

oh well
it’s cold out here 
kinda feels like hell 
left me for dead
but i wish u well
say i’m alright 
but i can’t tell 
isn’t that what u want

how does that work (prod. nevrfall)

im in my bag of excuses for bad decisions i made  
bad actions stemming from trauma that doesnt justificate  
i look around and see all of this destruction and decay 
but i think the only difference is i didnt see what was right in my face 
at some point you have to face it
used to think fixing my problems was caving
i used to think that my problems were what made me special and that shit is dangerous
and i used to think that if i got better my art would suffer as a trade and
it got to the point where i thought that my mental well being aint even worth saving 
but honestly i was mistaken 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem 

i was a victim of temptation and my own temperament
i get too passionate i come off batshit and 
im just a magnet for tragic infatuation 
almost had it but i couldnt capture it 
dont wanna trap it  
dont know whats happenin
but when youre laughing
its great distraction 
i think we might just be moving to fast and 
keep your hands in at all times and belts fastened 
i dont know 
what the fuck i was on 
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem 
and honestly i dont know
what the fuck i was on
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem

my big bag of excuses for this hole I dug myself into

Coldest Nights

Walking With Fire

I Have So Much Love Inside Of Me To Give

Sunray, the thunderstorm

i hate highways (second version) prod. sorrow bringer

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

orignal song "pale blue, pt. 2" written, recorded, and produced by Days to Waste

Lyrics:
Can't get it off my mind
Why do I even try?
The lights are turning green
And I can't drive away just
Highways and vacant streets
3 in the morning and I can't drive away
I know we never talk much

Told me that since you left
Darling have you forgotten the sound of my name?
All this ash in the air starts to turn every blue into different shades

I'm right back where I started 
The feeling so cathartic
Love me just to watch you walk away
It's love, it's death, it's toxic
The feeling makes me nauseous
Tearing down my hometown brick by brick
Cause' the drive home makes me sick

I've been away some time
I come and I go just like cold milwaukie rain
then sunny the next day
Walking vacant streets at 3 in the morning 
With friends I'd never leave
Ended up leaving me

Told me that since you left
Honey have you forgotten the moments we shared?
looking back on the past feels like most days it's like you were never there

I'm right back where I started 
The feeling so cathartic
Love me just to watch you walk away
It's love, it's death, it's toxic
The feeling makes me nauseous
Tearing down my hometown brick by brick
Cause' the drive home makes me sick

pale blue (pt. 2)

pale blue, pt. 2

Control w/ @spazixoxo & @darius-raps
Released on 4th March 2022

Mix/Master - @prodmavah & @spazixoxo
Produced by - @prodmavah x @prodkellymoon

Control w/ Spazi & Darius King

wash my eyes and scrub my dirty skin and decontaminate
hyperventilate, my words ventilate 
this texas sun will char your skin until it wears away 
push the hand away  
push the hand away 

to those going through it right now i know it hurts
dont let that distract you from the fact that you have worth 
fairytales are darker when you peek behind the curtain 
the world out here will hurt you just be careful with your words 

we were never welcome in this world its arms were closed 
 we were never welcome in this world so whats the use
trapped in flesh and bone only leave home in mask and cloak  
and anyone ive told the story has apologized for you 

break me down to my last molecule and make me new
i never had that much connection with this stranger in my room
drag this empty bag of flesh and blood into its tomb 
feed me to the maggots till my carcass is consumed 

wash my eyes and scrub my dirty skin and decontaminate
hyperventilate, my words ventilate 
this texas sun will char your skin until it wears away 
push the hand away  
push the hand away 
(repeat)

decontaminate

Wokeupscrmn (with notmorgn)

fffuck Y3aaah!!!

my suicide letter.mp3

i was picking something off the vine 
working with what i got if you get it 
bouncing off the walls im in my mind
i can be too much i admit it  
didnt know what to type when i read it
so into the void i let it 
i dont ever wanna stop trying
i dont care if i dont im gon regret it
i been on my own since a lil kid
havent felt at home since a lil kid
everything i wanted i been living it
why the fuck is none of it fulfilling 
i been tryna chase this feeling
all this time and space that its stealing
my life its like if i let you inside 
know it meant the most that you were in it
i was picking something off the vine 
working what i got if you get it 
bouncing off the walls im in my mind
i can be too much i admit it  
didnt know what to type when i read it
so into the void i let it 
i dont ever wanna stop trying
i dont care if i dont im gon regret 
i been on my own since a lil kid
havent felt at home since a lil kid
everything i wanted i been living it
why the fuck is none of it fulfilling

Grapevine (prod. sorrow bringer)

produced by hiraeth and heylog <3

You’ve got nothing to say to me
I’m drowning in the ocean
Always complain to me
I’m dealing with my own shit
Filling my vacancy
(Just breathe)
If I died tomorow I bet nobody’d even notice

harder to breathe
when ur around I’m losing focus
Trying to speak, the words can’t seem to leave my vocal
Getting likes on ig
cause ur half naked in the photos
I’m dying to sleep, if I wake up im meeting god bro

Stay closer to me
I swear that nobody can touch you
if they tried
I’d grit my teeth and fight them all for you
I’m tryna hide, stop tryna reason what I been thru
It’s not my time, I’d kill anyone laying next to you

never should've went for u
and i ain't know your friend exists
if that was the case i would restart and go for her instead
what a shame
u let your life to pieces
who's to blame
(you)
you're the only reason i can't focus
got me losing sleep
and shit oh how i own it
tell that b-
she can drink bleach
you let it out there in the open
u show yourself no respect
and i wonder if u know this

i'm tired of preaching cus babe it really-
babe it hurts from underneath
all the wasted memories
don't go down, get off your knees
it's not the time for any pleasing

bleach ft. heylog

karma deliverer (prod. ninewaters)

bubbles /
depends, can you go fuck yourself

hira /
i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

is it too much to ask for your time
love my patience is walking the line
save me
its not like youd try
fell too close
breaking my spine

too close i feel like an option
i keep tryna run girl 
run into the forest
i could use some safety
are you tryna hold me?
stop shaking
eyes are getting blurry

i dont trust nobody
but i saw you as family
its getting too warm im struggling to breathe
its blatant im nothing to see

i can see a lot of shit coming out of you 
throwing hands until my face turns a darker blue
the evil in your eyes is pouring out of you
i still wonder why, im never mad at you

you could have some decency 
left me vacant while youre down on your knees
i should be more patient 
but its hard to be
when youre out fucking anybody that

breathes

breathe

presave: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/sendflowrs/colourblind

(for the first time, in a long time, i started to feel things again, i started to feel happy..) 

and i swear to god i will be there for you 
whether or not it is cold outside
i can’t even front
heart stopped when i saw you
for a minute i was sure i had died 
now you don’t pick up anytime that i call you 
and i’m not used to swallowing my pride 
and you dropped your guard 
caught a hit that had floored you 
i’m out on the ropes but will turn the tide 

so i reject the light, 
sit up and cry 
i can finally see 
now ive opened my eyes
and that girl changed my life
but i guess it’s goodbye
and the day that you left
was the worst day of my life 
the worst day of my life 

and it never was the same, was it? 
oh was it?
i’m sick of calling your phone !!!!
when everytime i see you on it
youre on it 
you hide your screen and say no 
i’m fucking losing my shit girl 
honest
just stop it
at this rate i’ll never come home 
and she just screams in my face 
“i promise, i promise!”
she said she does but she don’t 

she said she loves me, she don’t :( 
i know she cheats tho
and i’m as sure of it 
as i’m sure in the spring the leaves grow
she left me 0 speech 
so i left that bitch at heathrow
now i’m at level 3 
put 20xp in free throw 
i’m fucked up
drunk love
real kiss 
fake hugs 
pour up
care plus
guess i should’ve learned
last time felt the witches burn, fuck
left me with a cold touch 
so i jus smoke n turn up 
get money in surplus

(and i know,
mmmmm, 
but she don’t,
mmmmm,
but she don’t) 


now you don’t pick up anytime that i call you 
and i’m not used to swallowing my pride 
and you dropped your guard 
caught a hit that had floored you 🥊
i’m out on the ropes but will turn the tide 

so i reject the light, 
sit up and cry 
i can finally see 
now ive opened my eyes
and that girl changed my life
but i guess it’s goodbye
and the day that you left
was the worst day of my life 
the worst day of my life 


(i guess i've been feeling... distant from you.)

colourblind (wisssery x noahmadethiss)

Grab my face from a heavenly height 
When we all lose faith where in hell will we hide?
When we all lose faith when in hell will we hide?
Where in hell do we hide?

Now
You know I despise 
Crowds 
Because it feels like i’m
Surround-
Surrounded by 
Downs
As it is up high 

I never meant to show you that 
(That side of me that I held inside)
I didn’t think I’d hold you back
(I didn’t mean to hold you back)
I look in your eyes and lie bold face
In another life we die of old age
There’s never a promise I just won’t break 
Add it to the problems I just don’t face 

Hi..
Do you know me by my name? 
Because I 
Swear I recognize your face 

Now
You know I despise 
Crowds 
And it feels like i’m
Surround-
I’m Surrounded by
Clouds 
Of a black lit sky 

No retaking pics you leave your past in the casket 
Can’t blame you for running cuz ur dad was a bastard 
And you think that it’s funny he reacts to your actions
Tracking it backwards
You ask for compassion 

Lies all on your tongue behind the tablets of acid 
Try to be empath-etic, practice compassion 
Everything is tragic, what hasn’t will happen 
Massive disaster
There’s Cracks in the atmosphere 

I never meant to show you that 
(That side of me that I held inside)
I didn’t think I’d hold you back
(I didn’t mean to hold you back)
There’s never a promise I just won’t break 
Add it to the problems I just don’t face
I can’t get behind the lie of “soul mates”
Because every single time they die or don’t stay

Hell Has No Space (prod. hurtclub)

BURNOUT

i rly thought i was dead for a minute there lol

love you all

available on spotify, apple etc now here:
https://lontalius.lnk.to/surrender

spotify/apple/etc

sleep thru ur alarms

X was an idol to me, a hero to a lot of kids.... including me. He's made me the artist I am today. Rest easy X.

NUMB. (XXXTentacion Tribute) by Wolf

XXXTENTACION - Sing to you (feat. Shiloh Dynasty)(Audio Official)(Free Download)

Can you hear my voice through the storm?
Tell me what it is we're fighting for...

ANA
I love you </3

Stream / Save on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5jvnEE9aPgPXh9UgjvYMLw

Must always credit in title (prod. Zaini)
Lease Beats: https://zainibeats.beatstars.com/

Stream on Spotify

can you hear my voice

sample: gert taberner - fallen 
https://soundcloud.com/gerttabernermusic

Instagram

you don't love me anymore

LLJ, i just released a new X remix as well go listen

Triumph Remix xxxtentacion (xxx tribute) (Prod. nola)

Triumph Remix xxxtentacion (xxx tribute) (Prod. cxstlyy)

master: @trechorboy

lyrics:
so don't look at me i'm a no show 
was feeling bad now it's more so
feeling real low think my heart broke
laying alone it gets too cold
don't think it's good for my mind no
i know you're good on your own though
but i keep on staring at photos
i keep on staring at photos, at photos
(x2)

took you off my lock screen yesterday
said you'd never leave and now you've gone away
and after all this time, still don't know what to say
don't know how much longer i'll keep running away
it's getting harder to sleep now
wake up in a sweat i still see you in my dreams now
don't know how to feel now
cause i thought you'd be right here and now you're not around

so don't look at me i'm a no show 
was feeling bad now it's more so
feeling real low think my heart broke
laying alone it gets too cold
don't think it's good for my mind no
i know you're good on your own though
but i keep on staring at photos
i keep on staring at photos, at photos
(x2)

i keep on staring at photos (prod. 2001)

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just happy to be here