My life was a broken cycle;
No feelings left that I know.
Then I found you and my life changed;
Gotta feeling that you’ll actually stay.

Nothing ever felt right,
Until I looked deep down inside of your eyes.
Now I promise that I couldn’t let go;
It doesn’t matter how hard the wind will blow.

I understand you’re scared, 
But I promise that I’m here to stay.

But I told you,
My feelings for you won’t change.
And regardless of it all,
My feelings for you won’t change.

A lifetime ago, I couldn’t feel the sunshine.
But as you’d grow, I told you that we’d be fine.
But I don’t believe it.
No feeling left for reject.
My heart for you is bleeding.

I can’t stand the thought that someone would ever hurt you.
Everything that you’d go through...
I promised to protect you.

I understand you’re scared, 
But I promise that I’m here to stay.

But I told you,
My feelings for you won’t change.
And regardless of it all,
My feelings for you won’t change.

Kacie, baby, I’ve got nothing but love for you.
Just give me some time- I promise that I’ll shift the hue.
All the colors that you didn’t know that you could view,
I’ll pull from the stars and rain them down all over you.

Beat by Gaxillic.

Deep:Down

new album on May 12th .. pre-save below (; 
PRE-SAVE “NECROMANTIC NIGHTMARES” • https://unitedmasters.com/m/64430687dd60f32d6257d450

produced by: https://youtube.com/@sorrow_bringer

follow me on instagram to stay updated: https://instagram.com/not30xi?igshid=NDk5N2NlZjQ=

spotify page: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6qyMPeBjLv97csZ4og08C6?si=u5Ee2GrQRByoxqt4oFNfEA

• LYRICS • 

[blxckblxdx CHORUS]
black blade, black heart
black lungs, black car 
black nails, black knife 
black hair, demon child 
black blade, black heart
black lungs, black car 
black nails, black knife 
black hair, demon child 

[30Xi VERSE]
slit my neck and eat my soul 
just watch how this pretty scene unfold 
i love blood & guts, all my sinners know 
this blade in my hand leave ‘em dead in the snow 
(THEY DONT KNOW SHIT)
..
bruises on me black & blue, color lavender 
remember when chance was fucked up in the challenger? 
i done seen shit you couldn’t even imagine 
i done seen weight moved from addict to addict 
i done seen laced blunts fuck up my passion 
i done seen devon make his grave & his casket 
(damn) 
my homies move so tragic 
i pray for better days but i know it wont happen 
i just wanna lay barred out in a palace
reusing lines cause i’m lazy as fuck
see the white of my eyes & you know you should 
(RUN!)

[BREAK]
..
[30Xi]
yeah. 
king nothing. 
can’t fucking feel anything. 

[blxckblxdx]
blxckblxdx cut ‘eem up

[blxckblxdx & 30Xi CHORUS]
BLACK BLADE, BLACK HEART 
BLACK LUNGS, BLACK CAR
BLACK NAILS, BLACK KNIFE
BLACK HAIR, DEMON CHILD 
BLACK BLADE, BLACK HEART 
BLACK LUNGS, BLACK CAR
BLACK NAILS, BLACK KNIFE
BLACK HAIR, DEMON CHILD 

[blxckblxdx & 30Xi]
yup, YUP!
BITCH SHUTUP!

[blxckblxdx]
now watch me die
i’m tired of you speaking
(blxckblxdx) 

[30Xi]
if he start running my dawgs on his heels 
no rednose yeah this snubnose make him feel 
don’t want,smoke cut up your whole conglomerate 
crucify the pussy boy he feel like a prophet 
(UH, YUH!)
just like that 
sneak up from behind 
(black blade in his back!)
(stupid bitch) 

[blxckblxdx]
to die in my sleep would be peaceful 
but then again maybe i’m tweakin’ 
wake up quick ‘fore the sun come up
last night was rough, i’m still fucked up
to die in my sleep would be peaceful 
but then again maybe i’m tweakin’ 
wake up quick ‘fore the sun come up
last night was rough, i’m still fucked up
..
..
..

#dark #darktrap #30xi #ambient #longlive30

DEMON CHILD (feat. blxckblxdx)

It's a slowed and filthy beat version of one of playboi carti's beat made by a guy known as escorte. That's it

knight slowed (playboi carti filthy type beat) - ayo glock boy

I don’t know pain anymore now with you here.
I don’t obey anymore now with you here.

I don’t know pain now.
Got used to failing on the way down.
Nothing ever changed until I loved you,
And I love you.

Spent years in searching for a feeling;
I knew I’d find you, God willing.
Sent here; no red mist on the ceiling;
I’m kept alive and I’m healing.  

I don’t know pain anymore now with you here.
I don’t obey anymore now with you here.

Beat by Gaxillic.

Know:Pain

Locked in my head,
I can’t get out it.
Low down…
(Get me out of this place now)
(Low down)

Awful feeling,
And no one’s listening.
I need your help right now.
(Slow down)

Reject is my middle name.
Told you that it wouldn’t be the same this time.
Nothing’s ever felt the same;
Never gonna change how it’s in my mind.  
(Slow down)

22 years passed now, 
And it doesn’t feel any different. (Slow down)
She died in the night that day, 
And abandonment was a prison.

Locked in my head,
I can’t get out it.
Low down…
(Get me out of this place now)
(Low down)

Awful feeling,
And no one’s listening.
I need your help right now.
(Slow down) 
X2

I write this letter to remind you that you were loved.
You were never responsible for the pain that was brought upon me in my life.
I was a recluse molded by the winds of fate,
And I have no one but myself to blame for hiding beneath my heartache and my pain.
(You were never blamed for the way this went.)

You were never blamed for the way this went,
But the punishment wasn’t simple.
With the pain that you’ve felt for so long...
I just want to know why I’m so wrong.
(Slow down)

Locked in my head,
I can’t get out it.
Low down…
(Get me out of this place now)
(Low down)

Awful feeling,
And no one’s listening.
I need your help right now.
(Slow down) 
X2

Beat by Gaxillic.

Slow:Down

If you love me, I promise you I’ll push you away.
I’ve got a hard time just accepting that somebody would stay.
Been abandoned by the people that I should have had close,
And as my life has passed me by, I remember them most.

It’s really kinda sad what’s happened to me as I have aged.
Kinda sad and all that’s happened to me has me enslaved,
To the feelings deep inside of me, and some I’d call rage.
But I guarantee I’ve promised myself that I’ll be saved.

No longer will this habit that I’ve been convinced was sadness,
Be a way for me to fall slowly back into what had controlled me.
Found myself a little more and I feel happier knowing that I can’t hide,
And I can’t concentrate on myself swallowing me.

If you love me, I promise you I’ll push you away.
I’ve got a hard time just accepting that somebody would stay.
Been abandoned by the people that I should have had close,
And as my life has passed me by, I remember them most.

Gotta feeling I’m hiding and I’m suffering the same.
There’s a shadow deep residing and I know I’m all to blame.
I know you’re a victim of this and I know that they are too,
But just stay a little longer and we’ll help each other through.

If you love me, I promise you I’ll push you away.
I’ve got a hard time just accepting that somebody would stay.
Been abandoned by the people that I should have had close,
And as my life has passed me by, I remember them most.

Waiting for the day that I could tell you that I’ve changed,
When you could hold me, show me, what it’s like to be…

Beat by Gaxillic.

Valid

Peering through the window at the life I’ve chased for a hundred years now.
A childhood I’ve tried to replace but I only let down.

It’s gonna take a lot to respond to the growth I’m learning to see in me,
And it’s been so hard cause I’m used to the misery.

Walking down an empty path, and I know that a friend isn’t what I need.
Counting down in an hourglass all the times that I know that they needed me.

But it’s changing.
Every day I’m waiting.
Every way I’m hurting…
I don’t wanna be this way again.

I’ve gotta focus on the love I’ve noticed;
Never try to show this hell I know.
 
Peering through the window at the life I’ve chased for a hundred years now.
A childhood I’ve tried to replace but I only let down.

It’s gonna take a lot to respond to the growth I’m learning to see in me.
And it’s been so hard cause I’m used to the misery.

I know it’s all my fault- my flesh was drenched with salt before I found myself in Him.
I’m all to blame for this- my life of negligence from all the hurt I felt within.

Beat by Gaxillic.

Peering:Through [Misery]

A song to Christ and to my soon to be wife, Kacie. I love you both so much. 

Lyrics:

With nothing but Your hand within my hand;
A promise that I’ll try to understand.

A life without You is hanging by a thread,
And I can’t bear witness the dread I’d feel,
Missing You instead.   

Life is the only thing that I feel I’ve got left to lose.
Too long, too many days- lost in everything that I do.

I’ve walked alone for so long, 
I couldn’t see when You reached out.

So many years of this blissful ignorance-
Watch it bleed out.

Watch it bleed out for You.

With nothing but Your hand within my hand;
A promise that I’ll try to understand.

A life without You is hanging by a thread,
And I can’t bear witness the dread I’d feel,
Missing You instead.   

Rolling out of bed everyday that I wake up-
Going into work knowing that there isn’t fake love anymore.

No pain anymore.

Wake up and I thank God for the way that You’ve been holding onto me.
(I can’t pretend You didn’t save me.)

I can’t pretend You didn’t save me. Everything had felt so grave to me.
(I can’t pretend You didn’t save me.)

Beat by Gaxillic.

In:Love

Ask myself every time that I’d run away-
How could you ever hope for another person just to come and hold you down?

Got a lot of baggage and a lot of hurting left to do-
I couldn’t help me if I wanted to. 

Life is a hurricane;
Everything stays the same.
Spit back into my mouth,
All the words that I was running out.
 
Everything’s changed- so hollow,
And I don’t know how you’ve learned to love someone so swallowed up in pain and losses and sorrow.


Beat by Gaxillic.

Hurricane - [Teaser]

LYRICS:

Gotta feeling like I’m used to it,
And I know it’s not alright.

I tried to tell me I’d be different,
But I chose to run and hide.

Cold weather bringing bitterness,
To the hole where I reside,

Filling empty spaces parallel,
To loneliness inside.

I’ve lived a life of tragedy and I don’t know why.
It seemed impossible to see love at my side.

But time had passed and closer to you I would grow,
Learning to recognize your love is all I’d know.

Your love is all I’d know.
And I can’t help feeling…

Gotta feeling like I’m used to it,
And I know it’s not alright.

I tried to tell me I’d be different,
But I chose to run and hide.

Cold weather bringing bitterness,
To the hole where I reside,

Filling empty spaces parallel,
To loneliness inside.

I’m feeling like I’m used to it,
And I know it’s not alright.

I tried to tell me I’d be different,
But I chose to run and hide.

Beat by Gaxillic.


Thank you, Christ, for all you’ve done.

Used to It

Feverly & Two Lose Hope [Both my own projects] 
Instagram @ Skyvayne
Thanks for listening. ❤️

Used to It

Feverly

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