every second I wasted feels just 
like ive misplaced myself cant replace myself
money gone like its nothing impulsivity shines 
i need help not a thing on the shelf

i just dont have it in me im a ghost a mirage
my life is like a montage this act wont get an applause
if i could change it all back i would just because
like a box in a garage its an unfortunate colllage

im tired of illusory i feel sick to my stomach
in my head again im doing laps around up to the summit
im stuck in these cycles some shit that ill never break
just a lesson well learnt these tables turning so fake

guess its not cut out for me a picture painted wrong
ive always had my doubts i kinda knew it all along
fuck a repost check im working hours way too long
i want it anyway i dont wanna stay here
stuck on this repeating cycle i dont wanna stay here
and i dont think i wanna fight no more sick of going on
like what the fuck is this for?

forfeit i cant fucking take it
crash against the cement
cant take it anymore
pretend wanna leave an indent
cycling back not content
fuck this i want more

impulsive (p. yungspoiler)

written/performed by @sydcxx & @eunhae
produced by saint mike
mix/master by @sydcxx

sydcxx - https://linktr.ee/sydcxx
eunhae - https://linktr.ee/heyeunhae
saint mike - https://www.beatstars.com/saintmike

[syd]
i swear i told you a hundred times
i'll wait for you, i'll wait for you
but everything we said means nothing
if you're gonna run away don't come back when you do
cause nothing ever goes my way
but still i tell you i'm okay
i thought you were the one i need
but now i guess the joke's on me

cause you were never there when i needed you
i told you i was scared and i pleaded you
to take me out of here
but you don't even care no more it's clear to see
i've already become a memory

[eunhae]
cause you were never there when i needed you
you left me in the cold, started turning blue
never thought i'd get to see that side of you
now if you call i won't pick up cause i don't feel it's true
being with you never felt safe
and i can still feel it every day
but everything we did is fading now, and no i won't get closure
sick in love, wish i'd given up, don't want no serotonin

cause you were never there when i needed you
i told you i was scared and i pleaded you
to take me out of here
but you don't even care no more it's clear to see
i've already become a memory
cause you were never there when i needed you
i told you i was scared and i pleaded you
to take me out of here
but you don't even care no more it's clear to see
i've already become a memory

i've already become, i've already become a memory
i've already become, i've already become

ive already become a memory w/ eunhae (saint mike)

produced by @deadyami x @jauntsen

lyrics:
i fear i'm not enough again
my friends all feed me oxygen
but i'm at a point where they can not help me anymore
had another breakdown and move on with my day
it felt like something i could not escape
they said it's my fault cuz i'm tired and lazy
centipedes in my mind they all start the invading
i don't know why i was waiting
but i know that i was patient
i tell myself that it was worth it

i remember watching bands perform in that basement
holding onto u cuz there could never be replacements
when i first put my hand out never thought that u would take it
i swear that it was the best thing that i've felt in a while
my happiness was based around your smile
and it faded so fast

worth it (dead yami x jauntsen)

mixed mastered written & recorded by me
produced by the goat 1wayza

lyrics:
So like who the fuck is love jai (tag)

Time and time again
I keep fucking up and losing all my friends
I cant trust a soul they all play pretend
This time I think that its all me and not you
This time I wont tell you anything that's not true
No I don't wanna talk about it, don't wanna argue yeah I'm cool
I like all my women just like Barbies make me drool hmm whoa
Okay this time I think that I'm the fool
Fool fool fool

Okay its kinda true
You cant say its my fault that I don't wanna be kind to you
Boy I grind my ass off, and I'm hotter than the Asphalt
She say I'm a asshole, I get it from my dad though mm
Okay I'm fucked up
You should never trust us
Take a take a crushed up
Duh
Oh oh show no love
I bet they'll all love me when I'm dead or when I'm up
Huh its so unfortunate
I don't plan on forfeiting
And I'm not ever forcing this
Yeah ima run these racks up the wall is where my back stuck
I don't wanna act up but you might make me act up
Oh you acting funny ima show yo ass hilarious
Once you break the trust with us I promise I'm not hearing it
I'm just not feeling it
Yeah oh oh
Guess ima asshole

Time and time again
I keep fucking up and losing all my friends
I cant trust a soul they all play pretend
This time I think that its all me and not you
This time I wont tell you anything that's not true
No I don't wanna talk about it, don't wanna argue yeah I'm cool
I like all my women just like Barbies make me drool hmm whoa
Okay this time I think that I'm the fool
Fool fool fool

ig ima asshole lol

spotify

ig ima asshole lol [p. 1wayza]

spent time away letting myself go
i was showing myself i could make a home
i could change you’re mood if you let me through
set in stone
time went still
i was trying to help
i always slipped through
it was not my intention, but my words came true
craning my neck, changing the hue
bloodshot eyes
mix out the blue
you live life blind, i can’t be you
surprise myself by trying something new 
take from me, and i’ll find you
sacred piece
might end you
i let go but then you came true
live my life but only for you
no enemies, i can’t lose
you hear me 
i see you


i just flipped another page
i still heed the words when i don’t know what they mean
deceived by your eyes this isn’t what it seems
they only create nightmares when they sell you dreams
all this hunger left me painless
at least nothing’s ever gainless
i’m taking pride in what you don’t have to say
hold me down and i’ll guide you through the rain

simple minded humans could step into your place
clamor for your god but i’ll still light up the stake
so naive to think that we’re built the same
you lost it all when you forgot it’s a game
you sold your soul for 15 minutes of fame
to end up all alone nothing but hunger and pain
you ain’t worth the blood inside your veins
to hold me down you’ll have to put me in chains

hunger

produced by dazed?!

featuring @grasior <3

lyrics:
(dazed)
locked away
in her frame
get out my brain
i'll go insane
i'll grab my pillow and i'll push u to the side
plotting everything to help u with ur life
i see the hatred in ur vision, but u reap what u sow
ur just a cheating bitch so i'll decide to dip out and go
i'll isolate myself in my room but u already know
that i got eyes on the back of my head nothings on the low

delete em
i'll defeat em
i'm on the floor
steady bleedin
i know ur seeing him
i know ur feeling him
i got this part of my brain
theres no defeating him
got an oversized fit with some chains & rings
in my head 24/7 thats where i be
curl up in a corner and i'll cry for hours
the way ur getting off to me is giving u power

the sky is turning grey.

(grasior)
another day was lost
sun rise down till dawn
why's my name always in talk
cant you grasp the thought

ive been losing hope
drenched down to my soul
only hear a way to cope
do so as your told

so tell me who is at the front door
do you think that i believe hes just a friend no
cause ive been losing it
god your just a bitch
keep the vent ur to yourself
im not part of it

keep my name out your contact
cause i dont want to see a message saying you want me back

you burnt our bridge when you said that
ive had enough your just a fucking brat

desolate (feat. Grasior)

cudnt find a fuck to give [p. jkjmetasco]

NOTHOLLYWOOD
TRACK 1/3
W/ @staggyucrazy
PROD @caleb-lodish & @prod_dxvi

keepsake (caleblodish & dxvi)

sad christmas song cause we are gettin older
don't take it for granted

christmas isn't the same anymore (prod. cxrter x fonkyfake)

produced by mitsa

lyrics :

Oh, you're back again?
Leave your messages on read
I don't want us again
I wish you would just take a hint

I know you miss those days
And the way you conversed me
I really hope you change
I hope to meet again someday

No matter what I say
Don't make sense to your brain
It makes me disappointed
Cuz' I know you haven't changed
No you haven't changed
No you haven't changed
No you haven't changed

Couple weeks to a month
Hopefully soon I'll be gone
I lock the door and I run
Bruises from slipping in mud
I know it's been years
And I hope you're ok
But I still forgive you
Even though you hurt me
You hurt ME