the first single off my new album 'dearly departing', coming out 9/9!

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
album art by @/ashleydhe on instagram

so much time and effort has been put into this project and i truly hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
i cant really see it here and now
and the lights behind my back are turning down
every sailor knows his in and outs
but i struggle every now and then with life so hear me out

i might die today
i could throw my life away
every time i surface i cant see
i think my mind’s away
they say im bad luck
thats why the bad stuck
and follows me everywhere

seeing aint always believing
the ocean was never forgiving
we need to drop anchor

and i stand and wait as cold air breaks the sail before us all
our fatal fate has taken everything that we once loved
so fuck it all
if i go down i’ll be swinging
a rope tied to songs i’ve been singing
the weight is enough for a fixing
so i tighten the knot and im ready for war
war
i still need more (from life, inside my mind)
more

i cant really see it here and now
so i contemplate the ways in which i drown
every time i’m lost im never found
i just suffer all the consequences, end up on the ground

i might die today
i could throw my life away
every time i surface i cant see
i think my mind’s away
they say im bad luck
thats why the bad stuck
and follows me everywhere 

seeing aint always believing
the ocean was never forgiving
we need to drop anchor

im leading a life not worth living
and seemingly so, unforgiving
its time i let out this anger

dearly departing

anchor [jolst]

spotify & apple music!

V. anchor [jolst]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

in the wasteland we carry on
sold a story for way too long
may our curses and blessings bond
for its over before its gone
at a time
its one
at a time
by design
we fail
by design

im losing my mind
im losing my mind

tell me what its worth to u
the lives and bridges burned
the courage of the hurt
the hate your children learn
would you rescue me?
would you send me a signal?
or rest my pleas
like the hearse of a victim?

i understand u had it ur way far too long
well the truth is i never open to anyone
and the reason i dont talk is not my fault
my brain is busy with self sabotage

im screaming the words for you
im bleeding so cut me loose
my ceiling is worn
the patterns are torn
my patience is wearing thin
u couldn’t be sure
i can’t give u more
is this what its like to end?

tell me what its worth to u
the lives and bridges burned
the courage of the hurt
the hate your children learn
would you rescue me?
would you send me a signal?
or rest my pleas
like the hearse of a victim?

stream everywhere!

XI. rescue [jolst x decks]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
time won’t fly
it’s like i struck a nerve
i spoke to the sky
he said i’ll never learn
i’ve clawed through the sand
just to dig my own grave
though heartache’s my villain
i take the cake

the song i sing
the trees sing back to me

cuz i entered the forest
and it chewed me up and spit me out
“you’ll never win, i have no doubt”
i kept my promise
but i suffer when i speak aloud
will i ever find a way to slow time down?

X. dearly departing [jolst]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
say less
“check between the timber and pine
hard rain and wait for sunshine”
it never waits for those who survive
so i’ll wait for days to find

anything i could possibly eat
i climb rock walls just to finally take a seat
and im done waiting for change
(waiting for change)

maybe things aint as bad as they seem
i always hated being special now im lost at sea
so now im done waiting for change
(done waiting for change)

the crescent moon is a hug
i needed help more than ever,
i was met with a bug
the gather never was an option
it was death from above
and the hunt was met with hate
i’d never suffer for love

the vultures above
watch em picking their poison
i hope im enough
to be strictly avoided
the sky’s turning red
i take that as a reason
for filling my home
with a bundle of leaves

just to stay warm
i need to stay warm tonight

gather round lemme tell u a story
listen or you’ll be bored till the morning light
i feel better when given a warning
so cover your ears if u cant handle mourning life

tell me what i could possibly eat
i lost my mind a year ago when i was finding retreat
so im done waiting for change
(waiting for change)

maybe things aint as bad as they seem
i always hated being special now im lost at sea
so now im done waiting for change
(done waiting for change)

IX. the long way home [jolst x irby]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
i press pause & rewind
it all feels like a movie
maybe thats how i kill time
i swear its amusing
i make a victim of myself
& im crying to no one
its a cycle of nature,
and i live in darkness,
no moon & no sun 

i hope this reads like a letter
whenever you hear it
nothing would make me feel better
than knowing u feel it too
this island it paints me blue
sincerely, it’s cause of u
the way the leaves they hold me
it almost feels like u got to know me 

[evan]
wave after wave 
and i’ve been drowning in a sea of my own thoughts
a clear image of everything i’m not 
hold on and hope it’s not a lot

i know this too well 
here reading the same old story 
i’m stuck in this cycle 
all i can do is wonder if 

are you coming to save me 
i’m empty 
pull me out of the shit that’s preventing me
is it too late to get out of this 
draw my name in the sand are you coming to save me 

are you coming to save me 
am i coming to save me
i put it all line 
draw my name in the sand 
are you coming to save me

VIII. sincerely (ft. evan carr) [jolst x pekarot]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
if this is real i’ve learned my lesson
i’d bring a chair to watch myself trying to breathe
when every day is just progression
its easy just to stop and stare at what u need
and every time i turn around
my vision’s upside down
and the mirror’s staring back at me
now i’m waiting for a sound
cuz my ears are bleeding out
isnt it nice to be so happy?

all the time spent makes me sick
i’ve been down, wheres a stroke of good fortune
while my life has been at risk
where were you, did you even come searching?
while the nightmares subsided 
my bones and my heart are on terms with the devil
clear i have been misguided
the water just dragged me right back where i came from

paint it on black
put out a message
i dont think that ima regret this
on top of the world for a second
then i slip and im back at the entrance
look at the way that i fuck up
must have been somethin within me
had to be something im hiding
look at the facts we’re presenting
like, he doesnt talk
he doesnt socialize what is his problem
clearly its all in head though
what if its something thats mental
i cant breathe when its all building i need time and cover
out of air i think im drowning, am i going under?

all the time spent makes me sick
i’ve been down, wheres a stroke of good fortune
while my life has been at risk
where were you, did you even come searching?
while the nightmares subsided 
my bones and my heart are on terms with the devil
clear i have been misguided
the water just dragged me right back where i came from

VI. pay your respects [jolst x irby]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

reflection (interlude) [jolst]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
i shouldn’t have woken up
(i lost souls of people i trusted most)
we couldn’t have fucked this up
(the waves told of more than i’ll ever know)

the sail strikes back
and the mast’s in half
now the ships all cracked
never coming back

lower deck, where i slept, shouldve seen it comin
i was blessed with a soul now im left with nothing
cuz i couldn’t find a way out
the floor burst as i was screaming for help

and now i live with my failure
im burdened with loss
was i meant to be saved or
is this just what i’ve earned
cuz god knows i never learn

so teach me
if this is my lesson then come fucking teach me
im suffering out here alone where nobody can reach me

i shouldn’t have woken up
(i lost souls of people i trusted most)
we couldn’t have fucked this up
(the waves told of more than i’ll ever know)

the sail strikes back
and the mast’s in half
now the ships all cracked
never coming back
when the sail strikes back
we relive our past
feel our burdens cast
never coming back

III. the sail strikes back [jolst x taylor morgan]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
it feels like im drowning
i wake up im bruised and battered
i finally stop spinning
and the ocean goes on forever and ever

what we have isn’t perfect, but fuck it we’re trying
i struggle with certainty, and the truth is im lying
my heart is a mess inside
but i know im fine enough

im seasick
took my heart, i didnt know that i needed it
fall apart, the very second we’re leavin and then
i wasn’t smart, couldn’t even bear to see the ship go
underrrr
the very second we had
sundereddd

and thats the last time i fall apart to save myself 
our story passed time, written like a book up on the shelf
and i swear im always
fucking up
nowhere to run

everything is 
uncomfortable
its never fun

and i wonder why
im staying up
to see the sun

maybe i should just go to bed

[cherry]
i’m stuck underwater 
and i just cannot find the space to breathe 
its hotter and hotter 
i sweat through my collar when ur with me 
took it all in i just sat back 
i don’t wanna fall don’t wanna backtrack u saw my heart and u cracked that
i saw ur heart and its matte black 
i saw ur heart 
u know its not perfect 
but fuck it were trying 
so lets get something working

II. seasick (ft. cherryrizla) [jolst x lavendertxwn]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
she had her life in a picture frame
had her future signed away
he had managed to escape a mess
a year with none to blame

take me away from my innocence
i could only dream that we were kids again
once i had fallen i had never left
it was u that once had told me what the sigil meant
now the journey begins
hundreds of souls never to speak again
i could be different but pride is a sin
u couldn’t manage urself let alone a
trip to burden many like yourself
disregard to hundreds and their health
all in search of feelings never felt
you were so selfish u didn’t deserve it

and now the memories come flooding back to me
like a ship at sea we capsized, never recovered the bodies
we went down burning (in a ball of fire)
draw back the curtains (in her funeral attire)

and i can’t wait to find you out
as life goes by i feel my time run out
hey i wouldnt be surprised if you hate me
i been struggling alone on the daily
i know im a lot to handle baby
tell me if you need to breathe, i’ll be waiting

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