i love it when you uWu *noahmadethiss*

prod. sorrow bringer
artwork done by my gf :)

you broke me down was it worth it?

you broke me down was it worth it?
i’m breaking beneath the surface
waiting for a higher purpose
but i know that’s worthless
i fear not for the end
i know that i’ll be fine
cause i’m the after life 
i know that you’ll still be mine
i’m letting go of the past cause it was flawed by desgin

failed from the fucking beginning 
they were out to get me
but i ended up winning
so i’ll sit back and wait
while you take your place
fucking your lying games
you’re such a fucking waste time for me
now it’s time for you to see

you broke me beneath the surface
you’ll soon realize how worthless 
you were to me
i can finally breathe
i was on my knees 
begging for you to leave
my life for good this time
well it seems i finally got what’s mine

nothing can change my mind
nothing can help you now
watch as the blood drips down
from your eyes
while you cry
no surprise 

you broke me beneath the surface
you’ll soon realize how worthless 

you broke me beneath the surface
you’ll soon realize how worthless 
you were to me
i can finally breathe
i was on my knees 
begging for you to leave
my life for good this time
well it seems i finally got what’s mine

broken beneath the surface (sorrow bringer)

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
if this is real i’ve learned my lesson
i’d bring a chair to watch myself trying to breathe
when every day is just progression
its easy just to stop and stare at what u need
and every time i turn around
my vision’s upside down
and the mirror’s staring back at me
now i’m waiting for a sound
cuz my ears are bleeding out
isnt it nice to be so happy?

all the time spent makes me sick
i’ve been down, wheres a stroke of good fortune
while my life has been at risk
where were you, did you even come searching?
while the nightmares subsided 
my bones and my heart are on terms with the devil
clear i have been misguided
the water just dragged me right back where i came from

paint it on black
put out a message
i dont think that ima regret this
on top of the world for a second
then i slip and im back at the entrance
look at the way that i fuck up
must have been somethin within me
had to be something im hiding
look at the facts we’re presenting
like, he doesnt talk
he doesnt socialize what is his problem
clearly its all in head though
what if its something thats mental
i cant breathe when its all building i need time and cover
out of air i think im drowning, am i going under?

all the time spent makes me sick
i’ve been down, wheres a stroke of good fortune
while my life has been at risk
where were you, did you even come searching?
while the nightmares subsided 
my bones and my heart are on terms with the devil
clear i have been misguided
the water just dragged me right back where i came from

stream everywhere!

VI. pay your respects [jolst x irby]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
i shouldn’t have woken up
(i lost souls of people i trusted most)
we couldn’t have fucked this up
(the waves told of more than i’ll ever know)

the sail strikes back
and the mast’s in half
now the ships all cracked
never coming back

lower deck, where i slept, shouldve seen it comin
i was blessed with a soul now im left with nothing
cuz i couldn’t find a way out
the floor burst as i was screaming for help

and now i live with my failure
im burdened with loss
was i meant to be saved or
is this just what i’ve earned
cuz god knows i never learn

so teach me
if this is my lesson then come fucking teach me
im suffering out here alone where nobody can reach me

i shouldn’t have woken up
(i lost souls of people i trusted most)
we couldn’t have fucked this up
(the waves told of more than i’ll ever know)

the sail strikes back
and the mast’s in half
now the ships all cracked
never coming back
when the sail strikes back
we relive our past
feel our burdens cast
never coming back

III. the sail strikes back [jolst x taylor morgan]

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
it feels like im drowning
i wake up im bruised and battered
i finally stop spinning
and the ocean goes on forever and ever

what we have isn’t perfect, but fuck it we’re trying
i struggle with certainty, and the truth is im lying
my heart is a mess inside
but i know im fine enough

im seasick
took my heart, i didnt know that i needed it
fall apart, the very second we’re leavin and then
i wasn’t smart, couldn’t even bear to see the ship go
underrrr
the very second we had
sundereddd

and thats the last time i fall apart to save myself 
our story passed time, written like a book up on the shelf
and i swear im always
fucking up
nowhere to run

everything is 
uncomfortable
its never fun

and i wonder why
im staying up
to see the sun

maybe i should just go to bed

[cherry]
i’m stuck underwater 
and i just cannot find the space to breathe 
its hotter and hotter 
i sweat through my collar when ur with me 
took it all in i just sat back 
i don’t wanna fall don’t wanna backtrack u saw my heart and u cracked that
i saw ur heart and its matte black 
i saw ur heart 
u know its not perfect 
but fuck it were trying 
so lets get something working

II. seasick (ft. cherryrizla) [jolst x lavendertxwn]

visiting

old one i got around to finishing
rly love this one hope u do too
yr support forever means the world
new drops been goin up on the main go check those if u want
goodnight decks nation

lyrics:
say
grace
underneath ur breath
i still wonder if muttering that would be worth
the
taste
of whats holding u back
while im tethered to weights at the bottom of all these 
waves
they come crashing down
i just hope to god im making u proud
i guess that i just win some & lose some
never meant to abuse what we got but i

feel my life pass me by
something’s off, you’re not by my side
guess the roses i got were consolation
saw the hand i held in constellation
knew u best as earth precipitated
all my problems now are predating
the present, i wanna feel
like its never for the best, what i want is real
i’ve saved what is left, all behind my shield
i’ve made that left, now im right to deal alone

say grace [metlast x 5head]

prod branwenteeayemadeit!

breathing on sorbet
bitch i am gormet
i dig first class flights 
and i dont pay no 
i dont pay no entry price
that bitch is spice
that girl is nice 
yh i wanna fight

3g in me
4g in me
5g in me
like my phone
this shit make me second guess myself like all the time
am i seein shit right?
yea i cry at night
you keep me paranoid as fuck i think i might just die

i kinda wanna go back to when i wasnt making sense/cents at all
i kinda wanna go back to when i wasnt missing rent to ball
for my moms sake, i wish i could say
i dont miss smoking every night and every day

theres only so much i can say inside a letter cause its pricey as fuck and it wont make u feel better

3g in me
4g in me
5g in me
like my phone
this shit make me second guess myself like all the time
am i seein shit right?
yea i cry at night
you keep me paranoid as fuck i think i might just die

look out my window like who da fuck is dat
i dunno im the queen of the maw
im the queen of the hive
im the queen of this life
baby life is like a combine
shoot that boy between his eyes

sorbettt

teeayemadeit

new acoustic single featuring the talented sophia milone!  

my new album 'for better or worse' releases THIS MONTH! March 24th!! Can't wait to share :)

Lyrics:
I've been searching through these blank pages 
story written in hidden language
follow the signs, to a different life 
I've been looking for
open up the door
I've been waiting for this to break 
all this hurting to turn into gain
darling tell me am I really falling 
cuz looking at you is like looking at scarlet 

(hook)
savior of my youth 
come here show me why I've been missing you 
searching for truth 
but then you opened up the door 
and I'm just staring through the framing into you

(soph)
deep impressions 
where I've been laying for what feels like months 
got up cold and tired 
routine habits push and shove 
tie up my grievance with a grimace 
and a cup of tea 
it seems romantic in your eyes 
but I wasn't being me 
I was looking but not for you 
a fountain hidden away just out of view 
a voice calls my name
did I hear that right 
follow it anyway
and walk right through the open door

(bridge)
for where this heading 
I thought there was nothing 
I looked at the timing 
that I put my trust in 
am I even ready 
is this even right 
but it all doesn't matter with how I feel tonight 
can we go on? 
if we don't where to start 
take me as I am 
if you can 
and ill keep you as the

open the door (feat. soph)[prod. King Theta]

www.carlbymusic.com
Featuring @burylilac
Production, mixing, mastering & additional vocals by @horoshavibes
Additional guitars by @jolst

LYRICS
Rock bottom
Lower than I’ve ever been
Only hanging on for the sake of my friends
‘Cause I got people who depend on me
And a couple bad habits like dependency

I worry ‘bout my mom
How she’d get on without me
I wonder a lot if you’d still think about me
Only hanging on just to spite those who doubt me
So throw me a rope because I feel like I’m drowning

I’m running out of ways to say this
I hate who I’ve been
Need to make changes
I’ve lost all motivation
Along with my patience
Too long I have waited

I’m running out of ways to say
That I hate myself
Wish that I could change
I think it’s for the best
You and I stay estranged
You wouldn’t recognize the shell I’ve become these days

(lilac heart)
Rock bottom
I’m running out of ways to say
I miss the way you’d get under my skin
Breaking bottles broken glass
Is all that’s left of my ‘lil head
I don’t even know where all the time went

I fell asleep in the snow
And woke up burning on the sidewalk
Take this away before I hurt someone
Try to cover the pain
The broken shards are showing through the holes I burnt into my sleeves

Listen on Spotify!

Rock Bottom w/ lilac heart (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

wish has been sleeping to this song on repeat and has now got handcuffs tattoo’d on him, resulting in this song being @ 800 plays before it even dropped, i love u wish

this is pretty much thisjealousyisgonnakillme part 2 
prod by tennis player (not andy murray)

lyrics:

hold me i can’t breathe,
put your hands around my throat,
i’m apologising for the things that i’ve done wrong,
got her makeup on my sleeve,
when she cries she don’t let go,
the pain in her eyes is enough to stain my soul

i’m forever ever gonna be chasing this dream,
people wanna talk but never say it to me, it won’t last
it won’t last, yeah 
and i’m thinking bout my friends when i’m tryna get to sleep,
4am thoughts, jealousy on repeat, 
i thought they said that time would stop this

but i guess, things come to those who wait
(and i’m a little impatient, handcuffs now i’m crying at the station)
and you left your smokes when you walked that day 
(fuck you bitch i’m gonna take em, stand up baby it’s a celebration)

everything that you said was a lie,
everything, everything was a lie
thing you said, thing you said yeah yeah yeah yeah
was just a lie

and i guess, i’ll just stay
your lack of empathy, it blows me away
that’s ps i love you, tell you everyday
those brown eyes always put me in my grave

and my mum always said i’ve got a heart of gold
i promise you baby i won’t ever let go,
and i’ll just flip this car on its side, 
when they find us my love, 
still got my hand on your thigh 

everything, that u told me was a lie
everything, that you told me was a lie
everything, everything yeah yeah yeah 
was just a lie

handcuffs

with the life i’m given, i’m healing.

@lovelessgroup
@butaneband

III. the sail strikes back [jolst x taylor morgan]

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