YØUNG (Demo)

on today's episode of "why do I keep trying to make background vocals when I suck at it?"...

fun fact: I've been trying to write this one for months (I only had the title). and it's actually a song about myself: I felt like there was certain irony in the word "alright" which is my first answer everytime someone asks me "how are you?". I knew I wanted to write about that word, but it was almost impossible every time I tried, uNTIL NOW. So this is basically like a fight between the side of me that knows what's best for me, and the side that's always doing what she wants, the side I can't help to be. 
but yeah, why not, you can send it to your ex boy/girl-friend.

lyrics:

another white lie to add to the collection,
say it with that pretty smile close to perfection.
I thought I made my point, don't ask me for direction
'cause we both got so lost in translation.

you can't help yourself, that's your intention.
you don't even try to pay a little attention.
I thought I made my point, don't mind if I mention
how little I care about your salvation.

oh goddammit I just wanna be free
from all the things that I hate but I constantly need.
I didn’t come all the way down here to just sit back and let it pass
‘cause I won’t let you forget I remember you said I’d be alright.
na na na, na na na, na na na.
(be alright)
na na na, na na na, na na na.
you said I’d be alright.

another vague look to just keep me waiting
almost sidelined, is it captivating?
does it make you smile? oh I am sure it does,
for you this is always entertaining.

you can’t help yourself, and that’s the situation,
where both ends meet breaking our foundations.
is this “being fine”? is this “being alright”?
you have some words you might wanna redefine.

...

oh goddammit I just wanna be free
from all the things that I hate but I constantly need.
oh goddammit I just wanna be free and I…. I’ll be alright.

I didn’t come all the way down here to just sit back and let it pass 
‘cause I won’t let you forget I remember you said I’d be alright.
na na na, na na na, na na na.
You said I'd be alright.
na na na, na na na, na na na.

another vague look to just keep me waiting
almost sidelined, is it captivating?
does it make you smile? oh I am sure it does,
for you this is always entertaining.

alright

I've tried my best to leave 
But then you see 
She wouldn't let me go
She locked the door and flushed the key
and screamed oh no you don't 

I pay my dues the rent her cigarettes
She has every cent I own
She even takes the car and brings back
always empty

So tell me why  
You treat me  
So unkind, all the time
And screaming oh and no 
I'm leaving
But you're still here
And I'm still stuck
Putting up with your shit

I keep saying it will be okay
But she keeps driving me insane
There's no way I can bare this shame
So I'll just sit and hide away

So tell me why  
You treat me  
So unkind, all the time
And screaming oh and no 
I'm leaving
But you're still here
And I'm still stuck
Putting up with your shit

Mr. Tom Porter

"This Is Not A Song" (191208, #308)

This is not a song no it's a credit card
Plastic with a hologram and a watermark
Good to fill the tank or empty out a shopping cart
The perfect silent partner to finish anything you start

This is not a song it's a new pair of shoes
Laces in a bow lily white and baby blue
Waiting in their little box patiently for you
Ready to walk anywhere do anything you wanna' do

This is not a song no it's a pack of smokes
Light one up and take a drag feel it in your throat
Toss 'em with a matchbook or a lighter in the pocket of your coat
You got a secret weapon now hit the road and go for broke

This is not a song it's an IOU
Not green or gold just a pledge from me to you
Still workin' out what it's worth if you want the truth
May not buy you anything but it sure wants to

Week 50 - This Is Not A Song (191208)

Don't Meet Your Heroes
SAW 1919  20
A  co-write with Eric Sharp

Don't Meet Your Heroes (Song a Week 2019/20)

Inspired by the book Underland by Robert Macfarlane. "Are we being good ancestors?" Photo by Dave Bunnell (Creative Commons) Lechuguilla Cave, New Mexico, United States.

Wish I had more time to add more instruments, but my in-house lead guitarist was installing things in the kitchen so we get to hear his power tools instead. Seemed somehow apropos.

Honey believe me I’ve been down there
Down in the womb of the world
It’s a beautiful terrible lot to bear
Down in the womb of the world

Rivers flowing
Down in the womb of the world
Fungus growing
Down in the womb of the world

Honey believe me . . .

Miners and scientists
Fossils and toxic waste
Secrets and labyrinths
twisting through time and space

Honey believe me . . .

Ice and fire
Down in the womb of the world
Bones and barbed wire
Down in the womb of the world

Honey believe me . . .

Treasure and tragedy
Evil and ecstasy
Visions and memories
Discards and discoveries

Honey believe me . . .

Dancing figures
Down in the womb of the world
Ancient whispers
Down in the womb of the world
Anthropocene
Down in the womb of the world
Ancestors, we 
Go down in the womb of the world 

Honey believe me we’ll all go down
Down in the womb of the world
And this terrestrial ball will still go round
With us in the womb of the world
down in the womb of the world . . .

Womb Of The World

It's up to you

Wrote this song driving home last night (12/14/19).  Played the keys and sang it a dozen or so times and mixed it up tonight.  Wanted something familiar built out of odd-ish sounds... with a harmony here or there.  Enjoy!

More truth than I'm used to
I need a muse I won't lose
I once had a flame
I never say her name
She came to my shows
She tasted like hope
She died in a vow
Anyways anyhow

A heart needs a heart
To beat on when it's down
And a heart needs love
To shout out all around
Now it's all over town
Anyways anyhow

More truth than I'm used to
No beautiful words
Unfinished metaphors
all over my floor
She's gone and she's happy
So I'll take the bow
Anyways anyhow

It's wicked to dream
He breaks her heart
Some sunny day
they grow apart
But most of these tunes
They tend to assume
One day she'll resume
as my pretty muse
More truth than I'm used to
I need some of your lies
Right now
Anyways anyhow
Anyways anyhow

Anyways Anyhow - Marty Shutter

Copyright 2019
All Rights Reserved
Photo credit: Morgan Harper Nichols

Piano & Vocals: Erin Wolf
Lyrics & Music: Erin Wolf

I'm hiding in
this dark place
hoping for justice and grace
never felt this low
don't know where to go
so I hide away
hide away

all the safety I'd known 
is stripped away
I feel that we've hit the bottom
only up, up and away from here
can we face the day
can we face the way
up and out of here
of this tomb
that we've consumed

all these holiday lights
are gleaming bright
but I don't feel the joy tonight
I feel, I feel
alone
cold
when will it end
when will I feel again
when will it end
when will I feel again
again

The Darkest Night

Here the summer 
Feels like winter 
And  Hope is hard to find 
When I’m under neath 
The weather 
And life is marking time  

See the bustle 
In the city 
And the trams that run the line
Hear the hustle 
And the heartbeat 
I keep stepping out of time 

Walking/fighting against the traffic flow 
Swimming against the undertow
Running against the wind that throws
Pushing against the crowds below 

Wishing upon a dying star 
Dreaming away the days afar
Longing to know just where you are
Tracing  along  each deepest scar

dying star SAW 19

kind of a singer/definitely a songwriter.

alright

Paula Varela