attachment pods

In a world filled with external expectations and obstacles, it's crucial to tune into your inner desires and follow your "yes." Join Tracy in an enlightening episode of "Moving On" as she interviews Ken Bechtel, an acclaimed author, speaker, and mentor, who shares invaluable insights on the transformative power of following your divine guidance. Ken emphasizes the importance of embracing unexpected outcomes and trusting that every piece of the puzzle is there for a reason.

During their conversation, Ken and Tracy dive into the topic of shame and its role as a catalyst for change. Rather than viewing shame as something to be healed, Ken urges listeners to identify its source and take proactive steps to prevent its recurrence. Discover how recognizing and working through shame can provide clarity on your next steps towards personal growth and self-discovery.

Ken's book, Follow Your Yes provides further exploration of the concept of following your inner guidance and offers practical advice on navigating life's obstacles. 

Immerse yourself and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery. Let Ken and Tracy's empowering words resonate within you as they guide you towards staying true to yourself and fearlessly embracing life's intricate puzzle. By following your "yes" and embracing your inner guidance, you'll unlock the door to profound growth and fulfillment that await you.

Learn more about Ken here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/followyouryes/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KenWBechtel
Website: https://www.kenbechtel.com/

#713 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Ken Bechtel

Your attachment to that person or finding yourself hitting repeat on the kind of relationships you attract? Perhaps it's more than just conditioning?

Let’s uncover the hidden gems within attachment issues— they're not just conditioning, —they're actually opportunities for personal growth and transformation. Once we release the idea that attachment is everything, a whole new world of emotional and spiritual freedom opens up to us.

Picture this: your soul contract is like a guiding light throughout your entire life, presenting you with contrasting situations that are designed to help you grow and discover the true essence of love. It's time to move beyond blame and shift our perspective. When we do that, attachments start losing their hold on us, and love becomes the ultimate game changer. Listen into the podcast to learn more. 

Ready to embark on this life-altering journey? Start by nurturing your awareness and consider exploring our mind-blowing metaphysical breakthrough sessions. They're like a compass, providing you with invaluable insights and guidance along the way. 

Come join us on this adventure of attachment and unlock the incredible power of soul contracts to create a life that's truly fulfilled, happy, and overflowing with love. Let's do this together!

#714 Attachment is Not Just Conditioning; Check Out the Soul Contract

Join us as we sit down with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley, for a thought-provoking conversation that will inspire and empower you.

We begin by delving into Kristina's childhood dreams and how her journey into adulthood was shaped by the transformative events of the fall of the Soviet Union. 

Furthermore, we explore the transformative impact of everyday decisions. Discover the profound impact that seemingly small choices can have on our lives. Gain practical strategies to overcome decision fatigue and streamline your decision-making process, freeing up valuable mental energy for what truly matters.

As we conclude our conversation, we explore the transformative practice of letting go. Get a glimpse into Kristina's new book, "Becoming Flawesome," which offers guidance on releasing what no longer serves us, leading to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.

Tune into this illuminating journey with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani and unlock the keys to embracing your fullest potential.

Learn more about Kristina here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristinamand/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristinamand
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristina-mand-lakhiani-73168414/
Website: https://kristinamand.com/

#715 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Kristina Mand-Lakhiani

Olesya Wilson, a certified nutritionist and holistic healer, joins Tracy as they dive into a captivating conversation about overcoming health issues and discovering the path to holistic healing. Olesya's incredible story showed how she broke free from limiting beliefs and unlocked her inner strength. Olesya challenges societal norms, redefining confidence as an inner essence and emphasizing the significance of self-love, self-care, and living in the present moment. 

Uncover the principles of self-value, self-care, and self-observation, shaping your relationship with money and overall well-being. Immerse yourself in the transformative power of the present moment, cultivating gratitude and contentment. Join Tracy and Olesya on this immersive journey, unlocking your inner power and embracing a life of holistic well-being.

Learn more here:
Website: https://olesyawilson.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindoverbody.me/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindoverbodyme/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@olesyawilson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olesyawilson/

#716 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Olesya Wilson

Having your soulmate may seem impossible or that it could happen, but with conditions. This episode shines a light on how the ego gets in the way because of its fierce pursuit of survival while spinning illusions of specialness. You ever notice how you make someone special when you are attached to the idea of them? You ever notice how you need to be special too? Yeah, its not love, it's ego. Tracy shares her personal journey to taming the ego, revealing a path to genuine love (not attachment) and inner peace.

Whether it's a fulfilling love relationship, financial prosperity, or internal harmony you seek, in this episode, Tracy provides practical steps towards self-awareness to redirect your energy towards your true north star.

No more hiding or forcing—embrace a sincere journey towards self-discovery, freedom, and joy. Tune in to find the path to having your soulmate through your authentic vibe to attract your desires.

#717 Taming Your Ego to Have Your Soulmate

Join Tracy Crossley and guest María-Victoria Albina. From her own battle with codependency to an unexpected shift from medicine to life coaching, Maria shares her unique insights and personal experiences. 

Listen as María-Victoria dives into the challenges and lessons of her life, from her struggle with perfectionism during college to her journey through an emotionally abusive marriage.

Regardless of where you are in your personal journey, this episode offers valuable takeaways for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and the transformative power of love.

Learn more about María-Victoria here:
https://www.instagram.com/victoriaalbinawellness/, https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaAlbinaWellness, https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoriaalbina/

#718 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with María-Victoria Albina

Avoidants have feelings, but they may not be what you expect. This episode shines a light on the complex world of avoidants, revealing how fear and control can mask genuine emotions. You ever notice how avoidants act nice but push others away? You ever notice that you could be one? Do you build walls when triggered? Yeah, it's not coldness (and if you’ve been accused then you know how that feels), it's fear. Tracy dives into the psyche of avoidants, sharing insights into why they behave the way they do and how they can break free.

Whether it's understanding your own avoidant tendencies, learning how to interact with an avoidant in your life, or seeking a path to real love and connection, in this episode, Tracy provides practical steps towards self-awareness to navigate these challenging dynamics.

No more confusion or frustration—embrace a sincere journey towards empathy, understanding, and growth. Tune in to find the path to recognizing and addressing avoidant behavior, unlocking the potential for healthy, happy relationships.

#719 Freedom From Attachment: Avoidants do have feelings

Heather Allison, a mystical guide and creator of Transformative Mystery Schools, joins Tracy for an enthralling conversation about embracing feminine and masculine energies and finding one's true self. Heather's remarkable journey takes us from the struggles of a toxic relationship to the awakening of her inner wisdom, redefining her life's trajectory. 

Dive into the mystical realms of your inner sanctuary, spiraling towards expansion and enlightenment. Join Tracy and Heather on this enlightening journey, unlocking your inner dreamer and embracing a life filled with authenticity and purpose.

#720 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Heather Allison

Join Tracy as she engages in a riveting conversation with Steve Q. Wiltshire, a former Mr. Oregon Body Building champion who battled and overcame a life-altering autoimmune disease. Discover the magic of produce, and the transformative power of customized wellness plans. 

Steve, founder of Body Temple Health & Wellness, shares insights from his three-decade-long journey prioritizing fitness, health, and mindset.

From personal tales of resilience to actionable health advice, this episode is a treasure trove for anyone looking to reclaim their health and power. Tune in and be inspired by Steve's story.

#721 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Steve Wiltshire

Join us in a riveting discussion on relationships, self-love, and personal growth with two exceptional women. Sherry Gaba, a licensed psychotherapist and life coach, is renowned for her expertise in codependency, love addiction, and trauma. As the author of "Love Smacked" and a frequent face on Vh1’s Celebrity Rehab, Sherry's dedication to mental health and recovery is unparalleled. 

On the other side, Carla Romo, a Professional Certified Coach and co-host of The Love Fix, transformed her life after overcoming toxic codependency at 24. With a passion for pushing individuals past their limitations, Carla's coaching has been recognized globally, from BRAVO to Cosmopolitan.

Dive into their shared wisdom on modern dating, self-awareness, and the art of intentional relationships. Whether you're seeking love, understanding, or a fresh perspective, this episode promises enlightenment and empowerment.

#722 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Carla Romo and Sherry Gaba

How much do you participate in your relationships? Not just romantically— I’m also talking family, friends, co-workers, etc. Do you put forth effort, or do you look for the other person to do all the work? We may think we put energy toward relationships, but some of us wait for signs that it’s safe to proceed because we don’t want to put forth effort unless we’re sure the other person will reciprocate. Being in that place, however, doesn’t feel good. It’s actually quite lonely and makes us feel powerless. I’m not suggesting you should pull all the weight yourself (that’s a whole separate topic), but you need to look at where you hold back and why.

Fear underlies our unwillingness to participate—fear that we’ll be engulfed or appear needy. Fear that the other person is somehow doing us a favor by being in our life, and wondering if they really even like us. Growing up we may not have learned what it takes to be an active participant in relationships, so we might take the passive approach and believe if people want us around, they’ll call. And then we have to decide to come out of hiding and engage or stay closed. In dating, when we’re not connecting because we’re waiting for the other person to “do it first,” we’re leading with fear. And in these cases, we’re just as responsible for the state of the relationship as the other person. Vulnerability and intimacy are essential. We have to open up and say what is true for us instead of waiting until we feel safe, which won’t come from outside of us anyway.

The next time you find yourself holding back, look at your “why.” What are you afraid of losing… or maybe even gaining? What negative belief is operating? Do you think something is wrong with you or that you’re not worth the other person’s time and attention? It all comes back to you. To have healthy relationships that aren’t lopsided, you need to start fully participating.

Relationships Take Two to Tango. Are You In or Out?

Anxiety and insecure attachment often go hand-in-hand. I’ve thought about this a lot recently because my boyfriend has no real concept of anxiety and that horrible feeling I used to have that I might die. Why? Because he’s securely attached. It’s helped me see how far I’ve come in my own growth because I don’t suffer like I used to, but at the same time I realize how much anxiety played a role in my life, especially with the partners I chose. I used to pick men who had their own issues around insecure attachment, which reflected all of my insecurities and perpetuated this cycle of unease. Healthy relationships based in secure attachment are NOT characterized this way, but I didn’t have a clue; I thought my relationship experiences were perfectly normal.

If you’re not honest with yourself about who you’re choosing and why, you’ll keep focusing on people who reflect your own insecurities, increase your anxiety and aren’t available for emotional support. When in an anxious state, you don’t make choices based on what you want… you unknowingly make them out of fear. You choose relationships that enable you to relive childhood fears of abandonment, creating a constant state of insecure anxiety. To become more secure, you have to consistently connect with those out-of-control feelings. You have to stop engaging in behavior which perpetuates the cycle of making your problems worse, and look at where you are emotionally closed. When you’re able to get to the point where you’re no longer watching the other person to see what happens, it’s a sign you’ve loosened anxiety’s grip on you.

Journey of Attachment: Choosing Partners To Ensure You Stay Anxious

No one wants to be called “needy” or “clingy,” so if you’re exhibiting this kind of behavior, you may be afraid to recognize and acknowledge it. It’s the last thing you want to admit to, especially if you fear judgment for it. Usually, you are in a relationship where you feel your needs are ignored or you have to be extra-special to get them fulfilled. Your image starts to crack, revealing your neediness. Then the shame kicks in because you do NOT want that label.

Neediness comes from a deep need to be validated and not abandoned by someone else. Maybe you feel misunderstood by your partner, and have this burning desire for him/her to understand you. But when that attempt fails, the walls close in and you feel out of control so you cling even tighter, while simultaneously feeling ashamed for your actions. It’s like watching a bad movie you can’t turn off. But blaming yourself for these needy feelings and actions only perpetuates the problem, reinforcing the negative beliefs your neediness triggers. You are your own worst judge, and it becomes a shame storm of biblical proportions.

If you find yourself in this situation, realize it’s about you and your negative beliefs; it has nothing to do with the other person and what they did or didn’t give you. All they have done is trigger what already lives inside of you. Seeking validation from someone else that you’re ok will keep you stuck in the needy cycle. So how do you get out? This may be surprising, but don’t try to halt your neediness because that will just keep the energy trapped inside you. If you’ve already started down that path, let the crazy out. Then, feel the shame. It’s awful, but the more you hide from it the worse it is. When you connect with your feelings and build your value, you won’t need to cling because you’re getting what you need from yourself.

Journey of Attachment: The Shame of Being Needy

It’s hard to watch someone you care about being disrespected. You might even get pissed and wish you could control their reaction, wanting to yell out, “Why do you let him/her treat you that way?!” Maybe YOU even start treating them badly because they’re teaching you that behavior is ok. It’s not conscious—you’re just picking up on their modeling. So, what signals are you giving other people about how to treat you?

Let’s say your partner is complaining about how their brother treats them. You’ve heard it over and over—the brother never calls, he’s never supportive, etc. And yet, if that brother needs help, your partner is the first to jump up and volunteer. It’s frustrating and painful. Perhaps you bring it up and your partner gets defensive, tempting you to show them the same level of disrespect they are showing themselves. It’s hard to let them do whatever they are going to do without jumping on the disrespect bandwagon because that’s the behavior they are modeling… and humans learn a lot from modeling.

When someone’s behavior triggers you and your reaction is to treat them poorly, catch yourself. Instead of mirroring their behavior, show compassion. Understand you can’t control what they do or how they allow themselves to be treated; it’s all based on their belief system, coming from a place of pain or insecurity. Doing this will also make you more aware of your own signals, and how you’re teaching others to treat you.

Teaching People How To Treat You

When you’re not happy with your current situation—whatever it is—you may feel angry. You think you’re pissed at the outside world, but really your anger lies with yourself. You don’t accept where you are; it’s not where you want to be. So in an attempt to quell your anger, you try to control other people, forcing your will upon them and manipulating them to do what you want. This provides a distraction so you don’t have to take responsibility for the choices you have made.

This happens quite often in unhealthy relationships. You beat yourself up for being in a situation you can’t get out of, but you don’t own your role in staying. The end result is anger. Why did the universe put you here? Until you take responsibility for your choices, you will continue to be the angry victim, thinking everything and everyone is conspiring against you. Anger feels powerful and comfortable because it’s a familiar emotion. It enables a sense of self-righteousness: It’s not ME who is causing this, it’s everything around me. All this does, however, is keep you stuck in wanting your external world to change, which is the opposite of empowering

The next time you’re angry at your situation (for many of you that’s right now!), look at the choices you made to get where you are. You always have a choice, even if it’s simply the perspective you take to look at things. Anger is a choice. So you can continue down that path, being angry at the world, or you can accept that you got yourself here. Not someone else… YOU. There is no power in anger; power comes from taking responsibility for your decisions. Start owning your role and anger will slip away.

Controlling Others So You’re Not Angry With Yourself

Your relationship isn’t going well. You don’t feel heard or appreciated, but you think if your partner would just try harder to do what you want him/her to do consistently, you’d feel better. Instead, you feel undermined because your feelings are dismissed; clearly you are “imagining things.” You’re angry, yet you remain in a stalemate with this person with you blaming and them defending. Even if you “get” your mate to change, things will resume to the way they were pretty quickly because the desire to change is coming from you, not them.

You may not see this as a game of manipulation, but it is. You’re trying to control your partner, making him/her do what you want. Feeling disregarded or disrespected can be painful, but it is a reflection of your own beliefs and insecurities—not the shortcomings of your partner. If you need your partner to be someone other than who they are, it’s time to turn the mirror around and ask what you’re not giving to yourself. Instead of pointing out their inconsistencies, look at your own. A partner isn’t a band-aid for what you’re unwilling to see in yourself.

As with everything in relationships, it starts with YOU. You are an equal participant, so stop distracting yourself by thinking they are the problem. To have an open-hearted relationship, you need to be open-hearted. Ask what expectations you have of your partner and why. Are those expectations based in reality or fantasy? What does happiness look like for you? If you need someone to change to make you feel ok, get to the core beliefs behind it. Manipulation just leads to struggle. Isn’t it time to look at why you’ve chosen this person and what they’ve allowed you to avoid in yourself?

Journey of Attachment: Manipulation Doesn’t Lead to Change

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Relationships Take Two to Tango. Are You In or Out?

Freedom from Attachment

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Susan Pelletier

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