locked in

produced by xona 

@heylog

-lyrics-
I wanna run but I can’t deny
feelin dread to our trust and I cry
and I would get everything for you
she loves him but I’m just that fool
I wanted us back, you didn’t want that
I’m pleading with this pain I held
and now I fall back
all on my prozac’s
and I just hope that I get your help

and now I’m washed up all alone
the little essence that you left long ago
the flowers wilt down to my floor
push me down like I’m nothing more

and I don’t wish the best for you
you wanted healing but I was see through
you wanted blood, now you got it on view
many voices telling me on what I knew
there’s reflections that portray all of us 
you’re sick of me and the things that I love 
I won’t forget what it meant for us
these 6 letters that stuck like a drug

stab me again i won't feel a thing
hold me down this some sentencing
taking my bliss, more apologies
i don't like this, just don't talk to me
wasting away i'm never calling you back
i'm stuck with memories i won't forget
with all this weight i carry on my back
you did this to me and i will never forgive

you
oh
i hate 
you
with
every little gut in my body

WALKING UP TO HEAVEN I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M HERE
BUT WHY AM I STILL RUNNING FROM THIS NEVER ENDING FEAR
I'M SHIFTING THROUGH LANES WHILE UR STILL STUCK IN 2ND GEAR
SURPRISING EVERYONE LIKE 2 HEADLIGHTS ON A DEER
WASTING AWAY I'M NEVER CALLING YOU BACK
I'M STUCK WITH MEMORIES I WON'T FORGET
(forget)
WITH ALL THIS WEIGHT I CARRY ON MY BACK 
YOU DID THIS TO ME AND I HATE YOU FOR THAT

you
oh
i hate you
with
every little gut in my body

i wont forget

spotify

i won't forget w/ heylog

cover of 'all he touched is dead' by corbin
reproduced by logan

-
go stay aside with hurt
in a place we went down through
faced lied to taste my ground
invaded our kind world
praise came with doubtfulness
which gave way sound of cruel word

don't hold me
too close now
you trust your weakness
don't hold me
too close now
i'll cut you down
down

all he touched is dead cover (corbin smidzik)

prod kimj
https://www.instagram.com/2hollis
https://twitter.com/osx2hollis


Always questioned it, always questioned it
I always questioned it, I always questioned it
I always questioned it, questioned it

Racks on the doorway, she keep trying to escape from me
Put a pass on your old ways, You’ll make a mistake some day I promise
I put a scar on the bad past, scar on my right eye, put me in the sky man
Switchin’ up the climate, sit in ancient silence, can’t resort to violence
And when I cry, a thousand tears, and when I lie, a thousand years
And when I say goodbye it’s our last one (and when I say goodbye it’s our last one)

I always questioned, always, uhhhh
I always questioned it, I always questioned it, yeahhh

i always questioned it

butterfly [w/skylin and xona]

produced by xona, ruevi, & oc

big thank you to all individuals who helped make this song possible <3

@ruevi @prod-oc
@heylog
@hiraethsry
@sleepywater
@sinxi
@caspywaspy
@vilsynth
@valerii
@deadfishh

the lyrics were over 4000 characters and that's the limit for soundcloud ♥

-lyrics-
https://genius.com/Xona-avoid-ii-lyrics

xona

avoid II w/ ruevi, heylog, hiraeth, sleepwater, sinxi, casperrr, vil, valerii & deadfish

prod by me           
　　　　　✿＞　　フ
　　　　　| 　_　 _ l
　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ
　　 　 /　　　 　 |
　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ
　 　 │　　|　|　|
　／￣|　　 |　|　|
　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__)
　＼二つ

_______________

(lyrics)
I sacrifice myself for you but you don't see the purpose,
sweating up a storm but you don't even seem that nervous
tired of this game we play submerged beneath the surface 
there appears to be some light that's slipping thru a crevice 


wake up and leave it
cuz you know how I get

no point in speaking
cuz I know how you get

bobbin and weavin
cuz I know how things get

lock it and throw it 
there's keys I'm not keepin

crashing and rollin
I'm killing the contest

descending I plummet
I'm crushing on pavement

bloody and battered 
all on the horizon

keepin it scattered 
dismembered and timid


I sacrifice myself for you but you don't see the purpose,
sweating up a storm but you don't even seem that nervous
tired of this game we play submerged beneath the surface 
there appears to be some light that's slipping thru a crevice (x2)

----

sorry for being so inactive :') [discern & self-loathe]

winter

purpose

prod by me :)

lyrics:

smokin brick in my free time, 
if he wanna test me we gon show him how the lights shine
i think you should ask him if it's brighter on the other side
don't be talkin shit if you can't back it boy it'll save your life

don't be takin shit from people I don't even understand
that's why you'll stay in my dm's actin like some fucking fan
you should really grow a pair and say it with your chest man
actin so pussy but you never even seen that

I know if I keep on talking shit things will get bad
but you hurt me and I won't forget that
If I go to hell you're gonna have to come with me


[[retaliation & hesitance]]

clone

fanlink.to/dutchmelrose

Follow Dutch:
www.instagram.com/dutchmelrose

Follow Harry: 
https://www.instagram.com/harrywashere

Seasons - w/ HARRYWASHERE

Wake up w/kyol

lyrics
i been killing myself every night, i been losing sleep every night
i wish i could keep you alive, but it's over now, it's flowing out

don't wake up, i'm asleep, i can't sleep without you
every time i'm alive, tell myself pull it through
if i do, i can see, be with you, be with me
i can end this shit so easily
oh this life, nothing mean to me

oh this shit can't keep going on, ion know what's going on
stuck inside the house again, "its ok" i know its not
it's ok just let me die, it's ok just lemme grab this sawed off
paint the ceiling lights

i've been losing myself every night
that i dream of you i can't keep moving on
i've been losing myself to the knife
that i cut myself with every night it's selfish
i know, i know, cause i know, i know
cause i know, i know, cause i know, i know

it's not enough it's never been enough
won't ever be enough to change what goes on in my mind
it's not enough it's never been enough
won't ever be enough to change what goes on in my-

i've been losing myself every night
that i dream of you i can't keep moving on
i've been losing myself to the knife
that i cut myself with every night it's selfish
i know, i know, cause i know, i know
cause i know, i know, cause i know, i know
i been killing myself every night, i been losing sleep every night
i wish i could keep you alive, but it's over now, it's flowing out

every night i lose you

prod by me 

tag by @chalyre

no tengo amor, solo con rencor, ( I have no love, only resentment)
no sabes lo que duele, (u don't know how much this hurts

sin verte por meses (not seeing you for months)

yo no quiero vivir sin ti, (I don't want to live without you)
I'm begging you please, just stay with me 

yo morire al fin (I'll die in the end)
si no estas aqui (if you're not here)


mis lagrimas claman por perdon, (my tears cry out for forgiveness)
si me alejo pierdo mi razon (if I leave, I'd lose my meaning)

eres mi todo mi unica razon de ser, de ser (You are my everything, my only reason for being, for being)

perdoname el orgullo, (forgive my pride)
por las palabras malas (and for the bad words)

solo quiero amarte (I only want to love you)
sin mas batallas  (without anymore fights)


la vida sin ti carece de sentido (life without you is meaningless)
porfavor regresa te lo pido (please come back I beg you)

sin ti no puedo respirar (I can't breathe without you)
sin ti no quiero continuar (I don't wanna continue without you )

dame una oportunidad (give me a chance)
dejame demostrar (let me show you)

sin ti yo no puedo lograr (without you I can't win)
lo que me queda es llorar (what's left for me is to cry)



whispers of anguish, shadows interlace
symphony of torment, haunting refrain
beauty and sorrow dance in arcane
tears of my sorrow fall like the rain



[[resentment -  agony - discernment]]

outcry

prod by skylin ✧ and @grasior

lyrics:

"I'm only hard on you because I know you can take it"
"because I want you to win"

(grasior ✾) - [prod grasior ✾]

tell me everything i thought was a lie
gave control to everything in my life

what did i do, to deserve you
DiD took me out of who i knew

but
you got me lost in denial
cry in the night what a liar

thought lost in love i held
but it was him not me so i fled

but i dont like what you hold me too
drives me crazy just the thought of you

tell everything is all my fault
when you lost the shit

(skylin & grasior) [prod skylin ✧]

you said you wanted me but I guess those were lies to me 
you turned your back and say I'm throwin all these blasphemies
I cut you off because I found out you're bad for me 
too many snakes in the grass think oughta cut the weeds

(skylin)

got DiD I guess there really are two parts to me
I black out then I don't know what the fuck is happening
got a protector, I don't know if he looks out for me
with time, I learned I was another personality 
in light of these events I guess it's kinda bitter sweet
to learn within of me that there are three whole parts to me 
I put the pieces together after you dumped me on the streets
I lay there lonely with no shoes up on my fucking feet


[prod skylin 0:00 - 1:00]
[prod graysior 1:00 - 1:14]
[prod skylin 1:14 - 2:35]

[[betrayal & mental health]]

snake

snake w/grasior

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

how could i be worse then i was before
i keep writting songs
and you all want more
every word i say is just getting ignored
but youre wanting more
but youre wanting more

i dont know how i can keep going like this
ive got nothing left ive got nothing to give
can anyone hear me 
are you listening 
does no one relate to the words that i sing

i feel like no ones even trying to help me
not helping

cut my hair dow
worked on myself
why do i still feel like no one

savour my loss
hope youre drowning 
you wont let me out of this hell

cut my arms down to the flesh
ive been alone for
so many years

all these people
want my best
but i cant seem to deliver it

drag me to the top of the bridge
tell me to jump
i wont even hesitate, overthink 
i want it to stop
cause baby youre all that i have
all that ive got
and im dealing with it so bad
im fucking it up
im not unique 
im so replaceable 
and for the last few weeks 
ive been unbearable
i better sort my shit
before you break it off
and though i try so bad
im never safe at all

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

perfect

prod by me :I

empty, I feel so goddamn empty 
I feel like nothings worth it 
it feels like i’ll just hurt and just hurt and-

just shout it, cause I got no good friends and 
nobody cares about it, like no one cares about me, 
my heart bleeds oh

stop it- what is the use in talkin 
if you just misinterpret 
the words I use and switch it
against me and 

no more, no more of all that heart pour 
it pains me deep in my core 
my hearts sore, can’t restore oh

oh wow, i guess it never ends well
for anybody in hell 
cuz that is where i’m locked in, im locked in

save me, i need someone to save me 
cuz i don’t know where’s safety 
and I’m not living safely 

mama, ni soy tan poco hombre 
ni soy tan gran persona, 
ni soy muy importante 

por dios, no quiero ni fallarte 
mucho menos perderte, 
no quiero que me dejes 

like what do I do? i’m so lonely 
and all of you knew, and did nothing 
i’m losing my cool, burst out crying 
I cry on the floor, im tired of trying 

my files are gone, there’s no restore 
my friends are gone, there’s no one more 
my dad is gone, my hearts been torn 
how much u want? life keeps on stealing 

I cannot lose, I won’t allow it 
shits so hard it makes me doubt and
will i ever make my ending?
will my soul end up descending

I want you and no one else
those few words became my hell
i’m in pain, but can you tell?
point the gun and leave a shell

[[internal suffering - bottled emotions]]

restore

cover of the song "fraulein" by tyler childers
re-produced by logan

lyrics:
far across the deep blue water
lives an old germans daughter
by the banks of the old river rhine
where i loved her and left her
now i can't forget her
i miss my pretty fraulein
fraulein
fraulein look up toward the heaven
each night, as them stars start to shine
by the same stars above you
i swear that i love you
you are my pretty fraulein

when my memories wander
away over yonder
to the sweetheart that i left behind
in a moment of glory 
her faces comes before me
the face of my pretty fraulein
fraulein
fraulein look up toward the heaven
each night as the stars start to shine
by the same stars above you
i swear that i love you
you are my pretty fraulein
you are my pretty fraulein

fraulein cover (tyler childers)

cover of the song "lady may" by tyler childers
re-produced by logan

lyrics:
i'm a stones throw from the mill
and i'm a good walk to the river
when my working day is over 
we'll go swim our cares away
put your toes down in the water
and a smile across your face
and tell me that you love me
lovely lady may
now i ain't the sharpest chisel
that your hands have ever held
well darling i could love you well
til the roll is called on high
i've seen my share of trouble
and i've held my weight in shame
but i'm baptized in your name
lovely lady may

lord the wind can leave you shivering
as it waltzes o'er the leaves
it's been rushin through my timber
til your love brought on the spring
now the mountains all are blushin
and they don't know what to say
except a good long line of praises
for my lovely lady may
now i ain't toughest hickory
that your ax has ever felt
but i'm a hickory just as well
i'm a hickory all the same
i came crashin through the forest
as you cut my roots away
and i felt a good long way
for my lovely lady may

lady may cover (tyler childers)

prod by me :>

you keep lying on my name like u kno how u did
and u could try but i promise u aint gettin us back
you just lost something worth so much more
you could've had everything you stupid whore

you stabbed me it wont happen again
all these bruises and cuts i wont forget 
lonely nights i was calling your name
no one answered i was in pain

i dont want u to leave me even if i say that i do 
every single night all the things that i think about is u
i was beggin on my knees for u please do not leave my life
all my tears are hitting the floor and i only see ur eyes

u aint gettin nothin related to my love
u can keep on wishin or something, get better luck
no 1 can touch this, my grind, i swear to God its up
n when i feel sad bout u my new girl she suck me up x2

you keep lying on my name like u kno how u did
and u could try but i promise u aint gettin us back
you just lost something worth so much more
you could've had everything you stupid whore

[[resentment - adaptation]]

convert

yeah
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole
who u trying to act for
ripped all my hair at the back door
two bodys laying down on the ground floor
theres no reason for you to be an asshole

im at the worst of it now
dont tell me you where around
dont tell em you gave me anything
im sat with the worst of it
im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it
see the wings on your spine
both serenading my eyes
now ur not here in this life
ive got a reason to die 

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour

please dont look back
im stillwaiting
hiding behind 
my only saviour


load of bs shouting distroted


im tired of it hurting me
but its awfully perfect
ur the angel of death to me
and im honestly worthless

setting fire to everything
i feel like a furnace 
and now youre getting mad at me
i feel i deserve it

songs shit

angel

things i held
im dying to go but she holds me in place i wont run
and when i arrive at heavens gates, will you know me

you think about me ?
cause im dying to know if you still care
held by my feelings 
im holding them bare

caught in a forest and then a landslide got to me
fields of rosesim pissing blood out of my arteries
so i can be with you, im counting leafs
im in a field ive got my head in the trees

i keep hearing voices theyre not coming out
yeah
i keep tryna hide but they keep coming round
tryna build a wall and keep myself out
but you wont recognise me not myself now

give him back to me
take somebody else
give him back to me
take somebody else

dont talk about my problems like you have none
my addiction only spiked because i lost someone
when im next, dont act like you care
treated like a joke you know its not fair

put yourself in my position, wouldnt last a week
and all this time that i have, i do not care to eat
i sorta feel like nobodys aware of me
it sorta feels like, none of you could care for me

take the shit from back and what i wear
take the food from my stomach and strip me bare
take everything that i own
i wouldnt care
and its still never enough and thats not fair

give him back to me
take somebody else

take somebody else

prod by me :>

(skylin)
all the hatred that you're giving me is only poisoning
at least with my enemies i know what it is they seek
I rather judas instead of someone backstabbing me
oh you're pathetic askin me if I would forgive you

I never go out or talk to people like I know I should
it's easier not engaging and hiding inside my hood
sometimes I tend to fail myself and everyone around me
I guess it kinda scared me from socially interacting

on the darkest days I don't know who it is that I will call
but I am hoping you answer because im bout to fall
and I don't know where I am going but ik you know it all
so I am calling out to you please do not let me fall


(heylog)
catch me on the other end
what i said i really meant
what are all the thoughts your brain holds
what's inside that head
i think i finally figured you out
i think it's time to step out your life now
i don't know what i did for you to become untied to me
if you're gonna act like this then break it off entirely
and if i would've known your emotions would all start piling
then i would've kept it hush instead of you crying to me
i was there for you when no one else was
now i'm seeing the truth and exposing your bluffs
i was there for you at your lowest point
don't go and blame it on me, this wasn't my choice

[[anger - disconnect]]

locked in

dalilah