Production by LordQuan

yeah uh ay
i found this beat on youtube just typed in like travis scott type beat
noccanism

ay ay ay ay
there's this new girl that i have met
i think ive become to emotionally attached
ay ay ay
when i see her with another guy
anger and sadness leak out the dispatched
i dont know if its a sign that my higher cells have sent me
or if its something that will detriment me
she spent 4 nights in everything
nice, beautiful, vibrant, ginger hair cute little freckles on her face everywhere
she's an amazing drawer and painter
no type of challenge could restrain her
she says that she likes my art to
which gave me a boost 
to creatively push through
but she's kinda hard
so im just talking nonsense 
knowing that it makes my hate for love more immense
but its not her fault its not mine
i guess the universe just doesn't want us to line
but i wanna be alined
we get along so well and have so much in common
i think about her all the time while eating ramen raaaamen

[?]
it doesn't matter because in the end she has a boyfriend
[?]
i dont even know anymore ill just leave society 
where nobody cares about me 
go its my inner core (core)

you're just being over dramatic
the energy between me and her is fucking V E G A S  S T A T I C
she dont even care about me
i asked her what's wrong one time
and she said nothing
when she obviously showed me signs of drowning

i could tell by how she looked
not by empathy
i can't really feel for humans
i feel like most have resented me
so ill just distance myself from her
so when she thinks of me
all she'll see is a bur 
and my heart [?] imbalance 
i need to heal this show this energy and talent
we were never really meant to be

Love, A Broken Dream

Too Attached

[sitting|||at_the(-)end-of th3\\world]]

Floating through the land of the mineral snow
Your steel burns my skin but i still feel cold
Floating through the land of the mineral snow
Your steel burns my skin but i still feel cold

Robot:
Burn Marks Detected On The Skin Of Demi-Hominid Traveller 
H20 of lower temparutes required in the process to heal the wound
Searching Immediate Area
Success Rate is 0%
Demi-Homimid's Endorphins are increasing

When I come around, Imma bring it back [×3]]

Verse2:
When you come around
My entire screen 
Begins to seize
In Disparity
What are your prospects?
Imma crush them
What are your prospects?
Imma crush them
What are your prospects?
Imma crush them

Robot:
I cannot process the concept of prospects
For i can only process my immediate surroundings

Verse3:
This the end of the line
Turn your metal into scraps
This the end of the line
Pull the plug, you'll collapse
This the end of the line
Say hello to shinigami
This the end of the line
Turn your metal into scraps
This the end of the line
Pull the plug, you'll collapse
This the end of the line
Say hello to shinigami
Destroy your metal body

Death Of The Android

[sitting|||at_the(-)end-of th3\\world]]

[Music Video]]: https://youtu.be/Jll7W9eJec8
The sky is so blue today
It never was
The grass is so blue today
It never was

I must be dreaming
Visions of the A.I
I shutdown my eyes
For Goodnight
But you,
Invade my restless dreams
The grey matter turning into BLUE
Swallowing all the other hues
Power on
Visions
Of digital blue ghosts
Come to dematerialize my thoughts
The Screen Of Death 
What have you done to me
You destroy mind [repeated]]

BLuE [prod. Zumtru]]

This song is titled "Unreachable Dream" because I talk about a dream love relationship that I will never have where both of us understand each other and other things like that. Sadly that's just a dream and this is reality. Fuck Love. 
New EP soon titled "Love, A Broken Dream"
New Twitter: https://twitter.com/JOHNNASCUS
New Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnnascus/
DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/love-a-broken-dream

Unreachable Dream

The Demigod has returned to the Dark Side Of Nature
DSON Episode VII: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAcQDdsWKKE

Lyrics: It's my 17 birthday yeah
Celebrate it on a Thursday yeah
People say it's the worst day ahh
But to me it's the best day
But No! just kidding I don't celebrate it
Ahh birthdays are so overrated
Woaah look at the world we created
Now everyone thinks that they are special
Why would I even celebrate the first day of alive
When on the same day he, she and they have already committed suicide
All you fake loving owners get away from me
I will bark and chomp your fingers off if you try to touch me
Get away (x3)

Grand return to the dark side of nature at seventeen
Take my spleen, grind it up
Use it as your special cream
But you're the mortal type
And I'm the immortal like
And I will take this world
And I will take it's light
Your birthday's a waste of breath yeah
Cutting off your flimsy head yeah
Celebrate to your stupid death
*screams*

17 BIRTHDAY

idk
Download: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/no-theme

it's not an "O" in nocturnal. it's a zero "0" fyi

Nights are starry (x8)
My head hurts
No more like agitated
I feel like i am in the matrix
I dont know mate
Why do I care so much about certain humans
The feeling i get, disturbs the pain in my stomach, in my stomach
Now I'm passed out on the floor
The tube turns on and it gets to pumpin
I can't function
Yea this over mate
I'll spaz on you kitties mate
Scrape you up with a rake
Comatose in this dusty crate
Brainstorming its all darkness
Why am i like this
I still don't know

There are so many things I've learned in one night even though it was wasted. I wanted to do it only once and mentally I felt prepared but I should've known that the environment and the humans would've ultimately affected me. But even though it was a time wasted I've took away some things that I guess are pretty interesting.
Fuck the bullshit I'm fucking done (x3)

I ain't got time for none of you fake fucking snakes
Dreamside takin over, we the fucking new age
(some ad-libs skrrrrt)
 Imma just prove everyone wrong
You are not real
Just a dumb thought, thot
Coming thru you know it's who
Johnnascus i am the move
Fuck the Rappers
Fuck the Rockstars
Fuck the Singers
Fuck the Popstars
I am the young demigod
Demi
God
And I will
Destroy all
(some shit talking)
Oh my
What has 
Even risen
Over there
It looks so
Bloody different
You are not gon' tie my entire
My entire life
I want your demise
I want your demise
Trust, humans
Even fucking less
Cause of one bad apple the race some fucking pests
I ain't got time for none of you fake fucking snakes
Dreamside takin over we the fucking new age

I dont wanna die
I dont wanna die alone
But i am gonna die
I am gonna die alone (whole thing repeated)

No Theme

N0cturnal Jounrney

First half prod sae
Second half with guitar by yours truly

Demigods Do Not Love Humans (but it sounds like demigods do not love you lol)
The young demigod was never supposed to
(repeated)

Fuck Love
The Young Demigod does not love a human

When I look into her eyes
I see my entire life
And i live on to the age
And I'll die with her someday
But it was all a lie
A beautiful of a lie
Demigods do not love a human(x4)

Demigods Do Not Love Humans

Demigods Do Not Love Humans (Prod. sae & JOHNNASCUS)

To Exercise My Demons
DL: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/plague-cross

I say i see
But i say i always see
Looking through the glass
See my wonders fall at last
Where do you wanna go
I can take you there
To the other world
Do not be scared
But I say I see
And i see right through your old lies
I only speak truth
Never told a lie
You live in a false
State of mind

It's a spiral
It's a spiral
You don't want no more sight
You don't want no more sight
Come and i'll scoop out
Wake up you have no more
EYES. EYES. EYES. EYES.

I hear energy
I feel vibrations with touch
You won't for long
You are getting weak
You're not that strong
Just wait for me
I will not wait
I'll muster and gain my strength
You don't realize
That it is too late
Succumb to death
Decay 

It's a spiral
It's a spiral
You don't want no more sight
You don't have no more sight
Your soul is now mine
Your soul is now mine

Where Are My Eyes

I don't like this dream
I must wake up
Fuck this life
I'll break out the prison of time

# 1 9
I am 19
Wasted another year made no change
I've only made some change
Guess im grown
Living on my own
Thanks to GI bill
Cause really i, am so bloody broke
Social
Anxiety still
Got me by the neck
Can't be like "fuck it fuck it"
Cause i
overthink all the time
Wanna leave the old me
Put him to the crows
Wanna kill myself 
To regrow
Anything to break the cycle
The cycle of habits, cycle of habits

Muhfuckin everything
That i wanna be mentally
Is the opposite of me currently
And it's been like this since i was 15
i like the thoughts of it but take no steps
But when i do, i just back track 
Or i just go around and around (repeated)

Fuck this predetermined life
I need to move forward (x2)
I just need to move forward
Fuck the voice in my head, I'll control it

Verse4: 
If i cannot break the cage
I'll end it all
If i cannot break the cage
I'll end it all
I am 19 and i must grow
Breakthrough on my own

19 BIRTHDAY

To Exercise My Demons
DL: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/plague-cross

KILLING ALL THESE RAPPERS THEY SOME DART TAGS.
I FUCKING HEAD SMASH.
YOUR BODY ON THE CEMENT.
NO LONGER HUMAN.
YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.
GO HEAD, DISOWN ME.
DON'T NEED YOUR LOVING
DON'T NEED YOUR LOVING

Where the sanity in me (x4)
This is not me
The insanity in me (x4)
It's apart of me

1 2 3 4.
YOUR HEAD JUST BLOW.
RIGHT OFF YOUR BODY.
YOU CAN'T FUCKING GROW.
I DO NOT CARE.
I'LL TAKE YOUR LIFE.
CAUSE I DO NOT CARE BOUT MUHFUCKIN MINE.
I SAY DECAY
GO AHEAD
DON'T BREATHE
I SAY DECAY
GO AHEAD
DON'T BREATHE 
I SAY I NEED TO FEEL REAL PAIN
I SAY I NEED TO FEEL REAL PAIN
I SAY I NEED TO FEEL REAL PAIN

Where the sanity in me (x4)
This is not me
The insanity in me (x4)
It's apart of me

*SCREAM*
*AD-LIBS*
I SAY I NEED TO FEEL REAL PAIN

Where the sanity in me (x4)
This is not me
The insanity in me (x4)
It's apart of me

Reality Of Resentment (Prod. LC2K & JOHNNASCUS)

no comment

download: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/identity-crisis

What Even Is My True Self

20 BIRTHDAY Lyrics
Being: 
JOHNNASCUS, how do you feel? (x2)
I don't know

Verse1: 
Livid 20
2 decades
I've been on and off
Wandering felt lost
I was scared to make a difference
To move out my box
So I stayed complacent
Never fucking changing
Always told myself that this time I would make that change but I flake out last minute
Falling back to the prison
Never opened up to anyone
For any problem I ever had
Kept it all in my fucking head
And my fucking heart
Demigod open up
So
Annoying
I
Say
The Same
Shit
Every fucking
Song
Song
Song
Song

Being: 
Then what are you doing?
You know how to escape.
You're not trying hard enough.
You know the answers to your questions.
You're staying here for a reason cause you're scared.
Don't be scared. Embrace the chaos.


Verse2:
Livid 20
2 decades
I am still so young
I can feel the change
From my actions
Not through words
Words only take you so far
Till you must alter the physical

Verse3:
Tok
Tik Tok (x2)
As I walk (x2)
In a world
I don't know (x2)
cause im scared (x2)
I am scared (x2)
Cause...
Something new..
That I have never experienced
But why
Should I 
Be afraid
Just Go (repeated)
Just see the world (x4)

I see. (x2)
And now you see.
And you know what you must do.
It's all been laid out to you.
You already-
You already taken the first steps.
Just keep going and don't look back.

20 BIRTHDAY

Form Your Own Meaning

Download: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/errquu

And it started off with the ice
Froze my brain froze my life
Trapped in a world that I don't know
Maybe you, but I don't
I was some fair town
Went in a little funhouse
Then I tried to run out
I got like stuck in a maze
I was in there for days
Tryna just find my way
Out then I did
Through the bathroom window now I'm in a different town
In the distance I just see a "noun"
Staring at me, ready to pounce
Ravage teeth to devour flesh
I kill it first, i implode it's head

You do not see and I know (x4)
And I know
You do not see and I know (x3)

(and it started off with the)
What What
Twoo moons in the sky
One of them was "I"
The other one was "nigh"
What What
"I" moon in some chains
"Nigh" moon gonna bring destruction to everything
What What
In a cyberpunk world
No sense of life
Artificial hurls
SuPreme
Empty cities
Exoskeletons
Of humanity

You do not see and I know (x4)

Fuck Now I'm on a strange island yuh
First the blue cheetah find me yuh
Second anaconda found me yuh
Now I'm a skeleton
Beat the shit out it's fucking face I don't give a fuck
Beat the shit out it's fucking face I don't give a fuck
Beat the shit out it's fucking face I don't give a fu-
I start carving and mutilating some human faces
Others i stitch their eyes and mouth with metallic laces
Then I get an adrenaline rush I pick up the pace
Then I wake up in shock, with sweat dripping down my face

synth  _96 v2

one of my favs from the album so just wanted to remix/flip it haha

800db Cloud Remix [100 gecs]

i love it all, love it all
i love it all, love it all
i love it all, love it all
i love it all, love it all
love all the laws, all the laws
love all the laws, all the laws
love all the dogs, all the dogs
love all the dogs, all the dogs
(but cats are objectively better)

i love it all, love it all
i love it all, love it all
i love it all, love it all
i love it all, love it all

i wish you love, wish you love
i wish you love, wish you love
i wish you love, wish you love
i wish you love, wish you love
I WISH YOU LOVE

but i just wanna care for you, so what do i do
i’ll love you, then i’ll hug you
then you’ll hug me

i wish you love, wish you love
i wish you love, wish you love
i wish you love, wish you love
i wish you love, wish you love

 uhm… okay… like…LOVE
but, i just wanna LOVE<33333

“It’s over anon,
you can always take me”

I Luv Everyone + Myself [untitled_0005]]

[new album when?]]

"The past cannot be forgotten, the present cannot be remembered"

I can live in a different time
It'll just be alright
Live in a ghostly time
Reality couldn't bring to light
Gave up on the future it has sadly died
So I went back to a future that never came alive
Lost
And i still just feel so lost
But I'm happy so what's the prob?
I know 1 thing is for certain I can never catch my dreams
Do androids dream elelectric sheep?
Can they see the pixelled leaps?
Well what are dreams, I never sleep
I can live in a different time
It'll just be alright
Live in a ghostly time
Reality couldn't bring to light
Gave up on the future it has sadly died

I want to stay here in the wired forever
In my own world, In my own time, in my own space

See the sun set
Digital res
8k 
#FF6347
Cel-Shading on
A server that's been forgotten

And the sun never rises
And the moon never shines
The clock is always set
To a virtual twilight
To a twilight
To a twilight

"The year is 1999. We'd call each other on brick phones. The television was cool but we played outside more. Life was enjoyable, happier, simpler.  Y2k was around the corner, but most importantly your digital self was born but yet to be activated."

"Are you sure you want to leave this server? ok now connecting to public server: 1 1 6 4 3"

"oi fellow user, wanna catch a virtual ride around this cyberpunk city?"

Lost Futures [untitled_0013]]

[new album when?]]

Verse1:
21st Birthday
Sing it in the worst way
Hikikomori
Mentally 30
My time is fading (yea)
Soul is waning (yea)
Feeling mainy (yea)
Foggy Cranium
My younger self would hate the person that ive become
Losing rhythm, can't find the beat to my own drum
This world ain't for me, or maybe I don't wanna grow up
But what's growing up? Cause I don't wanna have my soul crushed.

Verse2:
I want to live a life outside this system
Travel to a world outside the solar system
& dance to my rhythm

Verse3:
Still fucked up in the head
Try to make folks accept me
Even if they don't care about me
Maybe it's cause I don't care myself
Wanna be ignored to dig deeper in the well
In The Well
IN THE WELL
In the fucking well I just drown myself in despair
Look at the world the it's so far from here
I'm sinking in my own
Can't climb the walls
It is getting darker
There are no walls
See the lights spotters
In my own thoughts
Cannot move, I'm faltered.

Verse4:
21st Birthday
Sing it in the worst way
Hikikomori
Mentally 30
(repeated)

Verse5:
I'm not special
& No one really is
And the glass half empty 
Pessimistic little bitch
Always feel so envy
Towards every human
Don't wanna feel this empty
And prolonged sadness
What's the point of working
If it leads to nothin
What's the point of something
If there's no fulfillment
Why is life important if I didn't choose it
There's no point of living here if you cannot move it
Move the world, change the world
I can do that in this viddy game, save the world
Get the girl
Live a life, of peace & adventuring
Make a mistake, can go back to where it saved me
"Speaking of saving"

Checkpoint:
21 years old. I feel like I've wasted the past 4-5 years of my life & there's always this feeling that everything I have now will soon be gone. I've been making music for the past 5 years, and I still don't know at times if this is what I want to do. I feel like I'll just be forgotten in the next few years. people and friends I have now will soon just forget about me. I feel like I can't even form good connections with people because I'm in my head too much. somedays I just wake up and the day is already over. I feel trapped in life, and don't know what to do. somedays I just want to end it all but tell myself things will get better. I just don't want to live a life of misery. I can't really open up to people about how I honestly feel a lot of the time cause I think I'll just end up being a type of burden to them. so I'm just expressing stuff here. I hope I can find a purpose in life or just something that brings me long term happiness + fulfillment. I don't want to kill myself or live an a autonomous, autopilot, dead life.

Save file:
June 23, 2020
6:36 AM
Bedroom

21 BIRTHDAY [untitled_0009]]

prod. bruhmanegod

*follow your heart*
No1 really knows me
Sometimes even including me
I live as different entities
In the eyes of other human beings
But the eyes see subjectively
So you don't know what's best for me
I'll do what makes thou happy
Not what you projecting onto me
I'm not your entertainment piece

I just want to live in harmony

With my purpose and dreams
Fly across the ocean seas
While the sun shines me
And doesn't take away my wings

What's the cost
Of controlling all my thoughts
& listening to my gut
Oh wait yeah there is none

I don't want to relate to you
I just want you to understand me
And all the aliens
That are from another galaxy

No1 rlly KnoWs (prod. BMG) [untitled_0024]]

Second half prod by JOHNNASCUS

My Archangels want me dead
Face the wrath of God, eternal damnation
My creator formed me in his image
But now he wants me destroyed
So that must mean he hates his inner & wants to put an end to his immortal lineage

Angels falling from the sky like asteroids.
Crash into the earth, bring destruction.
I live every single day in fear
Hiding from the light overseers
Wheels of fire shine as bright as lightning
1 thousand eyes that just shred my body
Find the watchers and they won't protect me
Azazel struck down by the Almighty
 
My Archangels want me dead
Face the wrath of God, eternal damnation
My creator formed me in his image
But now he wants me destroyed
So that must mean he hates his inner & wants to put an end to his immortal lineage

Angels falling from the sky like asteroids.
Crash into the earth, bring destruction.
I live every single day in fear
Hiding from the light overseers
Wheels of fire shine as bright as lightning
1 thousand eyes that just shred my body
Find the watchers and they won't protect me
Azazel struck down by the Almighty

Archangels (prod. daniels gone) [untitled_0025]]

"FAANG" stands for "Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Netflix, Google)
the digital Wild West is now being enslaved

First half prod JOHNNASCUS + Wednigo + MKULTRA
Second half prod JOHNNASCUS

The Death (x5)
Of The Free Internet
I cannot speak they just grip my neck
I cannot speak they just,  they just,  they just

'm so sick and tired
Of the fucking wired
It is not the same
The stupid techies are to blame
F, double A, N, G, T
(twitter)
Digi vampires sucking energy

The Death (x5)
Of The Free Internet
I cannot speak they just grip my neck
I cannot speak, speak, speak, speak

Tell me why
I just wanna speak my mind
But you shut my mouth
You stitch it tight
Now I wanna fight
(x4)

Uhm what the fuck
Just got suspended off of twitter
But like, for what?
Being edgy, they got bitter
Called out the Jeff, now I'm in the wrong
But I guess not the pedos who share the sauce (cheese pizza)
The birdy warps your mind to become PC
You lose higher function to think critically
SJW's are just as racist as alt-right dweebs
Jack Dorsey CEO of a shit stained sink
But I guess it's a blessing that I'm Motherfucking perma-banned
Twitter is 
Full of horny coomers & airheads

The Death
The Death
Of The Free Internet
i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-
I cannot speak they just (x10)
I cannot (repeated)

The Death Of The Free Internet
I cannot speak they grip my neck
Suffocating me
Till I'm a wirehead
Or till I'm gone
Derezzed out of Tron

C8H

thegrimoire