every now and then, i feel like i'm about to hurt somebody
miss the way you felt around me, way you put your hands upon me
if i find out this was for the worse, i'm gonna leave it bloody
if you wanna know how i deal with this,-

just sit and watch me fall down, i can't be bothered to text back the person who just left me behind for nothing
not now, call me a doctor 'cause i need some help figuring out why i can't live without-

you (x4)

my therapist told me that i would have to let go of the past but i can't, i can't
and you're still trying to keep me sane through these rough times, but i can't-

deal with it anymore, i fell to the floor once i read that whole message, i cried 'cause you meant it
and everything we said stays between us forever, and ever
(and ever)
and we can't unsend it

every now and then

i watched it fall i watched it burn (from the ground up i built our life)
u took my heart u let me hurt (from the ground up i built our life)
and i watch from afar at the top of the hill / u look so different now
thinking of words to say when we cross paths

i really dont know how u say ive changed but the only thing here thats changed is ur mind
leave me replace / there goes another lost hope that i thought i would find

and i know that its not healthy to be obsessed but u cant help me
i want whats best but i know that i cant give up what i want

do u enjoy watching me suffer
i play my cards put down the bottle
i know its hard my life is awful only gets worse
i read every chapter and there is no happy ever after
im a bad liar im a bad actor
i put on a smile but its really a disaster but i go on

replace

ur gun fires at my heart
said i like the way that u pull me apart
and i, im just a kid but ill do what it takes to feel loved for once
its just love i want
i feel dumb i cant play my part
ill lose the race even if u gave me a headstart
and i, im contemplating should i pull out the gun
forget everyone forget everyone

and i fall down
im just a person i cant read ur mind
please dont call now
leaving me stuck i always feel confined

but i act like i like it u act like u want me
i try to keep calm but the memories haunt me

bad actor

produced by me, additional vocals from @trustt & @1crusafix, lyrics co-written by @elliemillss

i watched the glass shatter im falling im falling
too busy staring away dont call me dont call me
no i cant even fix myself so how would i fix u
no i dont even love myself so why would i love u

if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
oh no u fucked it up again
ill hold the fort ill stand my ground til someone takes me down one day
ive got so close to falling down but everytime i find my way
cant even fix myself so how would i fix u
no i dont even love myself so why would i love u

i cant seem to find out what the problem is
u hit that part of me i act like i like it
if i were u id just let me go now
and id tell u how i feel but i dont really know how

if i were u id just let me go now
and id tell u how i feel but i dont really know how
if i were u id just let me go now
and id tell u how i feel but i dont really know how

oh if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
if i wanted to shoot dont tell me otherwise
(dont tell me otherwise dont tell me otherwise)
oh no u fucked it up again
ill hold the fort ill stand my ground til someone takes me down one day
ive got so close to falling down but everytime i find my way
cant even fix myself so how would i fix u
no i dont even love myself so why would i love u

is that all you wanted for me to feel
u cried for help but i cant hear u still

debris

midden

the better version

u painted me a picture and i watched the colors fade
oh love liar
u were the only thing i wanted then u made the skies turn gray
oh love liar

im just a pawn in ur game
(a role u want me to play)
i watched the truth unveil
i see ur real face
im just a pawn in ur game
(a role u want me to play)
i watched the truth unveil
i see ur real face

wounds deep and raw
they dont believe what i saw
thought i was pure im wrong
tainted with many flaws
a burning ache remains
a constant haunting trace
in reverie im lost in an unfamiliar place

love liar

production by me, extra vocals done by @elliemillss
drums ib toe+squarepusher

this summer
i want nothing to do with u
this summer
i want nothing to do with u

i broke my promise
once again

this summer (i broke my promise)
i want nothing to do with u
this summer (i broke my promise)
i want nothing to do with u

i broke my promise i broke my promise

Broke my promise

production by me

the wind beneath my wings, i never see it fly
i wonder how it keeps me in the sky
the floor beneath my feet, you love to watch me die
but im still here i need to ask u why

i like to think that sometimes im still around you
but then again, its in my head
i like to know things especially about you
but then again, its better off not said

How to die standing still

lyrics:

cause you are the piece of me 
I wish I didn't need 
chasing relentlessly
still fight and I don't know why

if our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
if our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

if i die また消えて灰になる手の中
i promise u 君は夢で見た時、雨の中

it's all lie

all lies, all gone
all lies, I believed
all lies, every dream
all lies, just ashes

prod.rai4real

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valetical