damnnn bro the emotion in your voice is crazy

love the way u remind me of sewerperson 😌 im now out on🫡

prod. sorrow bringer
artwork done by my gf :)

you broke me down was it worth it?

you broke me down was it worth it?
i’m breaking beneath the surface
waiting for a higher purpose
but i know that’s worthless
i fear not for the end
i know that i’ll be fine
cause i’m the after life 
i know that you’ll still be mine
i’m letting go of the past cause it was flawed by desgin

failed from the fucking beginning 
they were out to get me
but i ended up winning
so i’ll sit back and wait
while you take your place
fucking your lying games
you’re such a fucking waste time for me
now it’s time for you to see

you broke me beneath the surface
you’ll soon realize how worthless 
you were to me
i can finally breathe
i was on my knees 
begging for you to leave
my life for good this time
well it seems i finally got what’s mine

nothing can change my mind
nothing can help you now
watch as the blood drips down
from your eyes
while you cry
no surprise 

you broke me beneath the surface
you’ll soon realize how worthless 

you broke me beneath the surface
you’ll soon realize how worthless 
you were to me
i can finally breathe
i was on my knees 
begging for you to leave
my life for good this time
well it seems i finally got what’s mine

broken beneath the surface (sorrow bringer)

Mixed/Mastered By Me
-
Produced By https://soundcloud.com/youngburial
-
(Lyrics)
stuck in this room once again
feeling alone again 
can we just keep playing pretend 
I’m tired of all of this 

she just wanna see me when I’m down 
questioning what are we I just frown 
getting messages from other people
can I ask are you evil?
and I just wanna set the mood to winter 

stuck in this room once again
feeling alone again 
can we just keep playing pretend 
I’m tired of all of this 

and every time we hanging out you don’t speak 
you question all the love you have for me I can see
I can see through this facade protecting me 
Hurting me give me more 

she was out too much 
she would stab me in my back
I know you didn’t care about me 
and I just wish you could love me 
the way I want you to 
and it’s been aching me

stuck in this room once again
feeling alone again 
can we just keep playing pretend 
I’m tired of all of this 

on your way your back that is not true 
you said that you care but that’s all lies
girl I miss you 
you know that I’m selfish girl 
I just wanna settle down 
I just wanna stay around 

and I just need a second to breathe 
I just wanna live here in peace 
no one fucking bothering me 
and I just need a second to breathe 
so please don’t go 

stuck in this room once again
feeling alone again 
can we just keep playing pretend 
I’m tired of all of this

what are we (fats'e)

introduction
prod/ft my good friend @greenwood2000
<3

lyrics:
something was stolen
something i borrowed
must’ve been open
must’ve been hollow
& open progression
is nothing but awful
i trample my thoughts
till they’re tougher to swallow

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

greenwood:
I put some distance out into the worlds
And I never trip about the way that it hurts
And I think they buried me deep in the dirt
But trust me, and trust me it still could get worse

Seventeen years in a hospital bed 
And they treat me different I know what it is
And it'd take a year to explain what it did
When I got a phantom inside of my limbs

Closed down, held over
And I found the worst way to tell you
And I couldn't leave but I'd let you
And tell me you think I'll be dead soon

Held down, I'm closer
And I found the best way to end it
And I didn't sleep just pretended
And fucked up my life like your friends said

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
(cant take back what i said, 
im the one you can blame)
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
(not the man in your heart,
he had went with the pain)
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
(its a pattern i keep,
wish i’d throw it away)
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
(i know its too late)
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

learning to lose

learning to lose w/ greenwood

spotify & apple music!

@strivemusicau
@shizukesaaa
@autumndropsdead
@torvamia

(strivesad)
Caught in a cage with this endless pain
caught up to my age now I’m getting paid
Depression stays high and now the feelings changed
pour another bottle all apon my grave

you’ve been building roads
I’m building settlements

I keep craving another fucking serotonin hit
let’s flip the script

I don’t need no alliby
come with me and stay the night
Fighting for my life I think I’m doing fine

Ripped clothes now I’m going home
got these problems cause I feel alone
keep me in my zone

(shizu)
beamer swerving 
cuz i deserve the worst shit
bet she gon hit me up w/ 'love u but this isnt working'
might fuck around my blade till i negate the serotonin
now watch the liquid dripping red off slitted wrists, still frozen
find another guy and leave me dying w/ no notice
no i was never that man but fans in my dms saying im chosen
it gets hard to speak every want when everyone is seeing you choking
when words go wasting the space of audio waves to leaving me broken"

(autie)
my conscious is ever so heavy
i've been so cautious ever since you left
i've been holding myself down, with this self doubt
but nevertheless
i swear that i'll know when you need me
you know i'm right there when you're hearing that ringing
i'm patient a bit, but waiting's a bitch
i wish i could split and fuck up my breathing
but if there's anyone out there like me
smite like a god do and make me undying
bottle my goods for a world that is dying
plenish a helt that is tattered with lies
'cause i see through them every single minute
proof is in my dome, that's why i'm livid
tell me that you love him 'till i'm finished
i repel and let them be forgiven

(torva)
smoke until my chest hurts, til my lungs burn
think ill die soon, think ill go first
now my head hurts, never heard worse
if i lose you, need a gold hearse

never fuck it up, bitch i run it up
i go fucking crazy
til i do enough
keep my tommy tucked, never losing love
think i need some help
fore' i lose my trust

Cage w/ strivesad, shizukesa, autumndropsdead & torvamia [+ Tied For Silver x flesh]

prod raspo 
mixed/master by me

Lyrics:

generational trauma
personification of drama
must be easy to say 
“i got it all from my momma”
i’m not a perfect person 
i still take more than i oughta
but you’re not perfect either 
you paint more hate than you gotta 

and i’m sorry that i left you
wasn’t there when i needed to protect you 
when i found out shoulda texted you
cause i knew exactly what it meant for you
that if i stick it out and i try hard
then you might see what’s in my heart
but i see now i wasn’t fair to you
babe i swear that all i did was care for you 

i guess i could find someone to hold me down
oh but i don’t think it’s fair if i’m not gonna be around 
cause my time on this earth is a little more limited than you think it is
and if i showed you inside of me
i wonder what your gut reaction to the trash would be
would you ask what happened to me 
would you stare in a state of shock as you backed away from me

oh see i been in this place before
where i never thought i’d need a hate ward
so when i broke down while i answered 
and then you spread through me like cancer
i sat back in my chair and wondered if i really said it with candor 

i know heart patients don’t hurt like this 
so i just wanna be certain 
you can’t see it from my side now
it’s like you’ve drawn all the curtains 
you want home yea you won’t find it here
i’m done wit all this hurtin

_trauma_ (raspo)

prod. tracyxo x joshbae

see me blowing rainbows
i dont care bout you hoes
im on my ten toes
ran around this dome
(if we're talking bout it,)

i dont give no shit about a ciggarette pack
i dont care about frozen time
uh huh?
i dont care about golden why?'s
uh huh
this shit bothers me
i dont wanna deal with the shit in my head
i just wanna smoke white runtz till im dead
thoughts come up from the bottom of my mind
aye, i gotta climb back up, i gotta wake up
i dont wanna be late!
i dont know what to say :(
i dont wanna be anyone i try and replicate
5:00 am, waste of time, oh my god..
6:00 am, and im tired as fuck

it still wont wake me up
thc in my gut
faded or nothing bruh
this preroll is all for us
we're living like we're still dumb
who am i kidding?
no one does it better than you.
no one will bother me anymore
dont lie
dont try
dont cry to me anymore
i painted the walls exactly like i wanted to
the stripes i made were pink and blue for you
will you be okay..?

(you were only a momment away)

dont, even bother
coming back.
im sorry,
but im not.
I'M TIRED OF THIS COLD WAR!
I'M TRYNA HELP MYSELF AGAIN!
I'M TRYNA BE ANYONE

up,
i gotta wake up ')
DONT WANNA BE LATE
I DONT WANNA BE ANYONE I TRY TO REPLICATE
FIVE AM WASTE OF TIME OH MY GOD
SIX AM AND IM TIRED AS FUCK
AND DONT WANNA WAKE UP.
ah...
ah...
can you run that by me once again :(?
ah..
ah
i dont know, how else i will-
(find some comfort in my home again)
THIS ROCKING CHAIR DONT FEEL THE SAME
THE PORTRAIT FELL AND SOMETHINGS CHANGED

the portrait fell, & something changed

prod. sunshowers

i cant see any how else
no way! :')
people tell me how else
how else?! ;(
to breathe, to live, to see,
my friend died last week.
i dont want no one, else
stay away!, stay away!,
theres something thats been off today..
im changing up my day-to-day,
in hope and search for better days.
i cant see any how else
no way.. !
people tell me how else

i know this isn't, and i know youre kidding
you took!,-
damn near everything i had to barely call myself
i cant stand myself! <3
drowning in myself! < / 3
I DONT NEED NO HELP!
thats what i told myse-e-elf. . ...

ǝslǝ ʍoɥ ǝɯ llǝʇ ǝsɐǝld
ǝslǝ ʍoɥ ʎuɐ ǝǝs ʇuɐɔ ᴉ
to get out of this mess,
to get out of my head,
i think i just need rest..

i cant see any how else
...
people tell me how else
...
to breathe, to live, to see,
my friend died last week. .

yh, yh,
get away, GET AWAY,
I really fucking h*te this place!
im changing up my day today,
and i know it wont change anything at all♡..
i try, i guess, but who am i?
fuck all the complications,
read the text, now my heart's racing!
hideaway, hideaway, yh :c
its time to question everything, yh!! ;c
dont turn back now,
you can slow down,
smoke that roach now,
blow that smoke out,
to clear my mind drought,
set the sun out..

i cant see any how else
no way! :')
people tell me how else
how else! ;(
to breathe, to live, to see,
my friend died last week.
i dont want no one, else
stay away, stay away,
theres something thats been off today
im changing up my day-to-day,
in hope and search for better days
no, way..

last week

lyrics
rn im so fucked up hope i make it to my bed
its one of those rare moments where i come to accept rest
n i pray u can accept me for who i really am
n ill show u all the thoughts n all the scars inside my head

but sipping this ciroc make me feel better
n im fucked up rn so i cant call u im sorry
im bottle deep im just throwing up in this party
i wish u were here so u could calm me
she wanna kno how to kill me i been tryna find out too
n when u stabbed my back was my last memory of u
n  i wanna die rn dont worry bout me
dont worry bout me girl im so sorry

new mistrust from the misuse
after everything im just still confused
i do drugs when i miss u
but i wont let it become an issue
but when im not high my thoughts try to kill me
when i sing u a song hope u forgive me
black tar on my lungs no healing
i dont need love no but it wont kill me
oh but it wont kill me
im writing this song rn n im sad as fuck im hoping u feel me
i still got pain from all my battles scars need u to heal me
im self destructive in my inner thoughts so i conceal me
n i see faces on the drive home
hit me on the iphone
girl just know i love u
im tryna right my wrongs
everything i do is for u dont leave me all alone
i can feel the pressure cracking down on my bones

but sipping this ciroc make me feel better
n im fucked up rn so i cant call u im sorry
im bottle deep im just throwing up in this party
i wish u were here so u could calm me
she wanna kno how to kill me i been tryna find out too
n when u stabbed my back was my last memory of u
n  i wanna die rn dont worry bout me
dont worry bout me girl im so sorry

ciroc [prod. branwen]

prod. lil divine, no samples <3
@user-642636378
mixed by lil divine, @killbreanna, and @user-642636378

[lil divine:]
stop and just wait for a minute
please listen close cuz i need this
theres blood on my clothes from the leakage
and i dont know who i can trust with the secrets

can you promise me youll keep it
safe from the scouring demons
drain all my blood with the leeches
and leave my body here to drown in the deep end

[halfhearted:]

drown in the deepend 
losing my soul
hate in ur eyes
when you break all my bones
u don’t regret all the lies thag you told
but each time you tell me
we’ll walk down this road again

sick of driving on them potholes
i think i got stockholm
forgot how you would hold me close

so now i’m clinging to a bottle
i bet you hope i rot in peace
so, lay me six feet deep

[lil divine:]

left in the dirt holdin hopes out for somethin
dont take my words and convert them to weapons
wrote you a song out of words that mean nothin
but you wont ever see it on a motherfuckin setlist

so baby tell me do you really wanna go
i cant see you through the 6 feet of snow
left my feelings in a box on the road
need a key to get the lock off my soul

i can feel the weight crushin my bones
bloody teeth embedded in the throne
why tf u keep hittin my phone?

why cant you leave me the fuck alone
when youre here this house dont feel like home
shattered fragments pierce throughout my skull
skull

[halfhearted:]

leave me to drown with the leaches
seeping in lust will i ever defeat this
stole all my love
not enough 
it’s a weakness
i was the one but i told u i’m leaving soon

we keep running round in circles
the bridges yeah we burned those
so i can never hold on hope

and i’ll let you watch me tie my rope
broke down, left my love on the side of the road
hometown, but feel like there’s no where to go
long frown, but i think i’m getting used to the cold

[lil divine:]

stop with the lies
n tell me the truth
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me
or am i a solution to u
for what somebody else did
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me
or am i a replacement to u
tell me who did u lose

leeches

leeches w/ halfhearted

08 [bonus track]

i see the house burn down over nite.
and id relive it all again in another life.. 

lyrics

face me 
the darkness will replace me

/

taste me
im overcooking tryna take heat

/

over done
is this how we are, is it over love

/

im tryna bring light to the things in the dark 
but it seems like it cant get any lower ugh

/

where were u when i called 
7am in the morn.
ran off w/ no notice
i swear i didnt leave those scars..scars

/

wanted its all i wanted x2

/

ik the walls r caving in
we cant b closed we're close to sin
ik the walls r caving in
ik the walls r caving 

/

pouring the gasoline all over the driveway
despite the fact we said we'd b living the right way
pouring whats left of the dark make me sideways 
its burning every edge of my soul in the right way

/

not a thing u could do could unblur in this high state
a fine face 
but no room, yeah no space 
its not much to me if i live well but dont die great

/

im changing, im changing, im changing form
and im changing
im taking off and im spacious
i love it here but i hate it 

/

in this lake i bleed my final form
ur words dont anything to me no more

/

wanted all i wanted was for u to save me
im not sorry, in this one life u cant redo shit

/

i been hella places
but nothing compares to the basics
the simple things in life we take for granted
its so hard to fake it

/

dangerous, but its so dangerous 
in this fucking storm
im taken by the wind
they'll take u in this form

/

theres not much
not much you can do about it 

/
let them take you how u are.
the world will be the same when you're gone.

your former

your-former [bonus track] (empty roads)

(LuvFlorent)
And I’m 
Feeling down 
I need you now 
Around my belt 
So I 
Just drive around 
And listen to the street sounds 
Around our town 

4 am 
With the lights out 
Need you then 
Still you right now 
Double cup 
With the ice out 
Fuck me up 
I’ll fuck you right now 
Aye 
Pills in the cup till I’m throwing up 
Aye I’m always in the cut showing extra love 
I got mud in the bucket while I’m pouring up 
I can’t feel a single thing off this Zoloft 

Cocaine Red 
Coming out of ur nostrils 
You say that 
I’m the asshole 
Scratch what I said 
I want you and that’s final 
Can we just pretend 
And cut me deep in every vital

(AliveTonight)
bitch i might overdose cause ion wanna be awake
if ion wake up anymore throw my body in a lake
ion wanna feel at all if i gotta feel like shit
ion wanna fuck at all i just wanna slit my fucking wrists
momma said drinkin's fucking with my brain
i should lay down the bottle it won't heal my fuckin pain
but
it helps me forget about it
i won't feel all of the pain if ion think about it

i quit alcohol
i do it all for my baby
in this hopeless world
she was the only one to save me
but she's been gone for three years now
i won't let anybody else wipe my tears now

and im
stuck on you
i hope you know that till the end of time ill wait for you

and i
hope you're alright
i hope you'll cross my path again sometime
sometime, oh

_trauma_ (raspo)

getbetter

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