i wonder how long it will cost me to stay strong ): 

Goddddddddaaaaaammmmm. Yeah this is legit in my head now with a million of similar songs yeah honestly i am suprised my brain has this much capacity for sll this shit let alone come up with a comment for this the day my head explodes i aint surprised😂

Am i the only one still listening to this weekly 

Sad times

'Bitter Blue '
coming soon...

Prod:
@93feetofsmoke

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

And i still remember 
Your hands in my hair
And the fireplace in December
And time's forever changing
But i still feel the same for you
I just wish you felt the same way too

I don't wanna waste you time 
And i know you have a better life
But it's stuck inside my head 
And i don't wanna leave my bed

So just tell me you want me 
Tell me you need me
Tell me you'll come back
And you're never leaving

I was eighteen when you loved me
And now i know I'm twenty-something
But I'm still hoping that you'd come home
And tell me everywhere that you've gone

eighteen (prod. 93FEETOFSMOKE)

@qawikamri

LYRICS:
I know we fight sometimes
https://genius.com/Qawi-kamri-im-sorry-but-hold-on-to-me-annotated

SPOTIFY

I'm Sorry But Hold On To Me

Spyro <3 PS2 (Prod by Foxwedding)

[Prod. Kamikaze] 
// Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/6obbyy/
// Twitter: https://twitter.com/6obby
// Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/6obby
.
.
Lyrics:
Ain't  Nobody  really fuckin with me like they  always say
And all these people hit me up but I know that they be fake,
I'm Gonna grab the lawn mower and finally cut off all you snakes 
I just wanna one day finally get up out this place ,
But that's always been the dream, same shit  a different day,
So I pop a few xans and  try to eliminate this pain,
But it's never gonna change, and I'll always feel the same
I don't know what to do  my life is looking plain,
Never feel excited and it's always been this way
I wanna make it out  I wanna get up out this rain 
And Say you had my back but always saw  me in this pain,
I'm tired of this shit,  and I'm so tired of these days,
Sleepless nights, anxiety, just  ain't no good for me,
Wanna tell my problems but nobody listening,
Sleepless nights, anxiety, just  ain't no good for me,
Wanna tell my problems but nobody listening , yeah

Ain't nobody listening, yeah,
Ain't nobody listening, yeah,
Ain't nobody listening , yeah, 
Ain't nobody fuckin care,
Ain't nobody fuckin care, yeah
Ain't nobody fuckin care, yeah,
 Ain't nobody fuckin care yeah,

So I smoke up all this dope and I always check my phone,
Every 5 minutes even though that I'm alone, 
Nobody hit me up I'm always feeling like a ghost
I just wanna find some peace but nowhere feels like home,
Always smokin up  and sippin' on some styrofoam,
Yeah I got this guap and that iPhone rose gold,
But that don't mean I'm happy I'm just feeling so alone,
I just want somebody who would listen and can cope,
I don't know what to do cause I can't trust a soul,
Sippin all this lean but still  these problems overflow ,
I Ain't got shit to lose like I'm on death row 
Say you understand but you don't even fuckin know 
Every day I wake up and I'm always feeling low,
I just chase this dream and hope that one day I will blow, 
I've just had enough And hope that one day this can stop,
I'll just keep on working and grinding to the top, yeah.

nobody

Lyrics: 
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends

wipe my tears cause I gotta get the cash now
no more fears but I feel it when the lights out 
world so cold it’s like I’m living in the arctic
so unknown sometimes I feel like I’m arson
tell me that you hate me tell me that you loathe me
tell me that I ain’t shit tell me that I’m nothing
heart filled with emotions can't share em with no one
yeah that's why I numb the pain with all these drugs and potions 
tell me that you hate me tell me that you loathe me
tell me that I ain’t shit tell me that I’m nothing
heart filled with emotions can't share em with no one
yeah that's why I numb the pain with all these drugs and potions

I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends

all the shit I done and all the things I seen
made me build a wall to block my memories
yeah, these drugs they got me falling like some leaves
need some novocaine but it ain’t for my teeth
I been fighting all these demons in my sleep
yeah, I’m faded yeah, I’m faded off the lean
don't give a fuck if I don't wake up from this dream
pass me a rope so I can leave reality

I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends

The Pain That Never Ends

✦ VIDEO OUT NOW

produced by @ihateshinigami
engineered by heartbreak jake and shinigami
written and performed by macho randy and shinigami

I'm so sorry for what I did last night at that party with her :(

SHINIGAMI & MACHO RANDY "IDK why I'm like this"

@luvrrboi
ty mysticfox4 for the beautiful color work on my drawing<3

Lyrics:
singing SleepyHead but I’m still woke
head down on the kick like a pillow
face down on a brick, ayo
Yung Luv aka Lumo
catch me gliding on the breeze like a frisbee
she’s shaking at her knees when she with me
cuz I’m cool
but ill give her my jacket too

but if i give that girl my jacket
will i get back?
if i give that girl my heart
will she make my heart attack?

If i give her all my love
will i get any back?
Yung Luv’s not just my name
that’s how i want to act
I wanna misbehave
i wanna just relax
I wanna waste my days
on love that won’t last   

at least love that i don’t expect to
cuz ive expected in the past and its been regretful
you know who you are, i still don’t forgive you 
i  can’t forget you

partly cuz you took my jacket and I know that you meant to
now i watch my closet close every time a new girl steps into my bedroom

It’s hard to share anything with anyone,
but I do
cuz I’m cool
and I’ll give her my jacket too

but if i give that girl my jacket
will i get back?
if i give that girl my heart
will she make my heart attack?

If i give her all my love
will i get any back?
Yung Luv’s not just my name
that’s how i want to act
I wanna misbehave
i wanna just relax
I wanna waste my days
on love that won’t last

Heart Attack/Give Me Back My Jacket

HEARTATTACK/GIVEMEBACKMYJACKET

credits:

@4evergone
@charlieshuffler
@kellbender
@pxlm
@supachefm
@guccihighwaters

i will never be a memory

download

a place where i belong [feat. supachefm!] (prod. 4evr)

@xam @lil_yung_pharaoh @cxldblxxd

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4Ug4VQPXCGxNfqMIxwh2xd
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/album/bad-thoughts-feat-lil-yung-pharaoh-single/1464634124
YouTube: https://youtu.be/qjjQ49p3xmY

[Verse 1: XAM]
I’m gettin worse by the minute just admit it you don’t even know
What is going through my fucking head right now and what is wrong
Why I’m locked inside my room and writing all these songs
About these bad thoughts, about these bad thoughts

I’m counting down every minute time is moving so slow
Everything’s in slow-mo, every night feels so long
Where is Dora when I’m lost and I don’t  know where to go
Nobody knows me but they telling me to stay strong

I can’t swim but I’m going for the deep end
I can’t win I’ll be dead by the weekend
I got no flowies on my arms and I’m ‘bout to drown
Tryna hold on but I’m going down guess I’m a dead man

Staring at the ceiling of the ocean
Oh shit, feeling sick too much motion
I don’t sleep but I’m dreaming of emotions
I don’t have, I’m broken - the truth’s been spoken

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m gettin worse by the minute just admit it you don’t even know
What is going through my fucking head right now and what is wrong
Why I’m locked inside my room and writing all these songs
About these bad thoughts, about these bad thoughts

[Chorus: XAM]
I don’t wanna lie, I’m a human and I cry
Myself to sleep at night, there’s a reason I don’t smile
I’m about to tell you why, sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna be alive, I got one life out of nine

[Verse 2: Lil Yung Pharaoh]
I ain't never been happy try to pretend
OD and get high on the weekend
So low I don't even got no friends
Can't swim but I'm headed for the deep end

Got a feeling I won't make it till next year
So you can put a knife through my chest here
I'm a human so it’s natural to shed tears
Living life alone that's my worst fear

And I'll be loving life next day I wanna die
Just to numb the pain I'll get so fucking high
Laying on the couch I can't open up my eyes
First I wanna die but now I love life

And I just want someone to understand me
And yeah I got problems that they can't see
So you can put a knife through my chest now
And Imma lay down to rest now

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m gettin worse by the minute just admit it you don’t even know
What is going through my fucking head right now and what is wrong
Why I’m locked inside my room and writing all these songs
About these bad thoughts, about these bad thoughts

[Chorus: XAM]
I don’t wanna lie, I’m a human and I cry
Myself to sleep at night, there’s a reason I don’t smile
I’m about to tell you why, sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna be alive, I got one life out of nine

BAD THOUGHTS (feat. Lil Yung Pharaoh) [Prod. CXLD BLXXD]

Moonlet ft guardin - Oh No

Baby all up in my face like what/
Wanna pick a fight I dont even wanna start/
Taking all the shots and Im feeling like whats up/ 
You dont know the half of it you never hear me out/

And I-I-I/
Never feel ali-i-ive/
And you always hi-i-igh/
Taken to the si-i-ide/

Rollin on keep rollin on keep figuring it out/
Feeling like im peaking but its really just enough/
You be all up in my mind just lingering it up/
Talking to myself about these feelings and this love/

And I know you feel alone and you’ve been it all day/ hate it like that so you call me like ey/
Prolly gon die if I feel this everyday/ 
Baby why you sad cause Im feeling what you say like/

Loooow life I know you feeling bad/ 
you dont gotta die cause you never take it back/
I dont want a funeral and no one ever had/
Baby keep on struggling and shit will always pass/

I-I dont want to be alone/
Can you please just try/
Cause I need you in my zone/

Baby all up in my face like what/
Wanna pick a fight I dont even wanna start/
Taking all the shots and Im feeling like whats up/ 
You dont know the half of it you never hear me out/

And I-I-I/
Never feel ali-i-ive/
And you always hi-i-igh/
Taken to the si-i-ide/

Why you on my mind like never been before/
I just need some time, I really need to know/
Really wanna play, fucking with my soul/
Tired of this game and everything you know like/

Why you never wanna ride with me/
All you wanna do is getting high with me/
Feeling like you never wanna set me free/
Baby why you making it so hard to breathe/

Im falling down/
And I cant really help it/
No I cant really help it/

You’re all I want/
But I cant really save you/
No I cant really save you/

Baby all up in my face like what/
Wanna pick a fight I dont even wanna start/
Taking all the shots and Im feeling like whats up/ 
You dont know the half of it you never hear me out/

And I-I-I/
Never feel ali-i-ive/
And you always hi-i-igh/
Taken to the si-i-ide/

alive

prod. @antongxldn & @produnown

Today I turned 19 and I'm still lost af tbh.

P.S. You're Dead To Me

Single from the upcoming EP/Album
Love u guys.

LYRICS
----------
VERSE
Cuz baby I've been waiting for ya
lookin at me sideways
I dont wanna hide it

And Im not even pushing my luck
Doing this my way
See u on the highway

I'm tryna make a buck
but nothing workin my way
world is turning all grey

and I've been on the bottom it's sucks
losing touch with the ones I trust

PRE-CHORUS
No-one wants to call me back
I'd tell you that I'm fine with that
Doesn't matter if I'm honest
Doesn't, I promise

Cuz whenever I get attached
Anxiety pulls me back

HOOK
Yeah I'm underneath the surface,
Cuz I don't wanna be a burden
My demons have been lurking
And they all know I've been hurting

And lately I've been nervous
Have I got no purpose
Yeah I'm rolling down the curtain
this the end yeah I'm certain


VERSE2
I'm not the same bird as I was
I was livin life my way
Crushed all of my bad ways

And that is all I want to become
Always knew Id pay
thought about it all day

I don't want to believe in a bluff
I ain't gonna be sad today
I'm running far away

BURDEN

Feat: @cozyboycries
Feat: @stationsix

Prod: @splashgvng x sadgods
Mix: @prodbybrody
Backing Vocals: @exploitedangel

https://open.spotify.com/track/3QwNluLfcFvhmxDOdOzFuq?si=Y6JT9e7aR9Gyh-lty2_MsQ

Spotify

If I Die Tonight (feat. cøzybøy & thebreathingbackwards)

Lyrics:

And all these thoughts of mine
They got me haunted tonight

But it would probably be to obvious to say
The things you made me wanna change
I didnt reckon Im in pain
Why it always gotta rain

Cut it up now, we say goodbye
Push me to edge, all my feelings took a right

We should get this
We gonna die
I be comming round and make it hard for me to say it

All I want is for you to
Come back home
I trynna make it all night long
But Im not gonna make it back
Back, back yeah

Take me, to places
Where
All is fine
Wont you take me
You make me
So blind

And all these thoughts of mine
They got me haunted tonight

But it would probably be to obvious to say
The things you made me wanna change
I didnt reckon Im in pain
Why it always gotta rain

Hit me up
Phone be blowing up tonight
Are you drunk
Trynna get this love but I

I aint a fool, I know there is another guy
Its never cool
You switching every other night

All I want is what you have
(What you have, what you have, what you have...)
If you wanna take my life then go ahead
(I dont care anymore you can take it)

Take me, to places
Where
All is fine
Wont you take me
You make me
So blind

And all these thoughts of mine
They got me haunted tonight

But it would probably be to obvious to say
The things you made me wanna change
I didnt reckon Im in pain
Why it always gotta rain

HAUNTED

Prod - Kado
https://soundcloud.com/kadowav

Losing it 

Better Off In The Ground - Kado

1/2 of @prsonprson

EMAIL: XAM.MGMT@GMAIL.COM

BAD THOUGHTS (feat. Lil Yung Pharaoh) [Prod. CXLD BLXXD]

XAM

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