prod by xona<3 this beat sucks im sorry(,:

thank you to all the ppl that help me make this ily (all in order)
@reesoo
@heylog
@hovis
@moodyriley
@quannnic
-comet
@1vil
@uglysneaker
@valerii

avoid

spotify

avoid w/ reesoo, heylog, hovis, moodyriley, comet, vil, uglysneaker & valerii

eos (ft. heylog)

featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

pathetic ft. residential

produced by xona, ruevi, & oc

big thank you to all individuals who helped make this song possible <3

@ruevi @prod-oc
@heylog
@hiraethsry
@sleepywater
@sinxi
@caspywaspy
@vilsynth
@valerii
@deadfishh

the lyrics were over 4000 characters and that's the limit for soundcloud ♥

-lyrics-
https://genius.com/Xona-avoid-ii-lyrics

xona

avoid II w/ ruevi, heylog, hiraeth, sleepwater, sinxi, casperrr, vil, valerii & deadfish

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i hate to say i forced myself thinking that you were sweet
but ur a monster, didn't know that you were a freak
lock me out from you and throw away the keys
i won't let you get any closer to me
put my hand on her leg and feel the ridges and scars
i feel afraid you might bury my body under tarp
so dig a grave for 2 people and make sure it is large
you're coming with, i won't die alone or we could restart

i'm not gonna bother you anymore
pulling my collar, pulling out thorns
it was an honor climbing aboard
somebody watch her out on the floor
i'm not gonna bother you ever again
pulling my collar right back where it is
i tried my hardest to help you get fixed
wasn't for long until you relapsed

say does your father know you been out
if i was him you'd have curfew, no doubt
i just want you safe getting back to the house
cause nowadays it's brutal all around
don't hold on 
to my hand
just let go now
find a man
don't look back
not a glance
as i'm crushed by
an avalanche
don't know why you'd say that
you're gonna get pay back
looking at a photo could you possibly get phased at
drinking at a club
i thought you were done
she said, "i stayed away"
but bro it's been a month
i don't wanna hate
i just never drink
you could say i'm boring all you want but i'm not phased
i don't make excuses
i simply do not do it
don't wanna see my life fall into a ruin

i'm not gonna bother you anymore
pulling my collar, pulling out thorns
it was an honor climbing aboard
somebody watch her out on the floor
i'm not gonna bother you ever again
pulling my collar right back where it is
i tried my hardest to help you get fixed
wasn't for long until you relapsed

repeat

produced by xona

@heylog

-lyrics-
deep within my own skin
i stay low until my breath
runs out and i hold my neck
cause deep down i need to rest
the only thing i need is you
a little late, i ain’t got to lose
anything to get us through
but I’ll stay like back then too

well, it’s awful to think
you’re on my mind and can’t let it deplete
sit in my room then write the lyrics to sing
but I’m discarding this energy to bring back the old me
its a tragic that i let it go
i couldn’t tell if you need me close 
well it’s too late for that now
so i can’t keep you around 
don’t need to make another sound

baby i know you love it when you see me overthink
got me pushing buttons tryna get this thing to play
never thought a girl would challenge me to use my brain
think outside the box using my logic against her game

i know you love it when you see me overthink
baby please
tell me what it means
these other guys try to steal you from me
they're enemies
break em to their knees
cut the rope
let the river flow
one at a time
kill em, let em know
baby go
get inside the boat
it's business for me to kill all them very slow

hazel

hazel w/ heylog

hey guys hope u enjoy this new track.
shoutout to @prodjpjp for the production
& shoutout to @heylog for hopping on it 

LYRICS:
All my friends have turned to strangers
Am I really all alone?
Tell me truth and don't be jaded
Where have you been all night long?
I'm all alone
Struggling to get off my phone
Yeah, I think we did this all wrong
And I cannot get over it
I shouldn't feel this way, not at this young age

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I'll never know
But I wish you the best
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

(I'm leaving home)
Uh, so imma leave all my vices
Leave all the memories
Leave all the trauma
You was just my enemy
You're not a friend of me
I see that now it's clear as day
So, it's time to runaway

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I’ll never know
But I wish you the best 
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

What has my life become?
Can't think how I once was
All these years gone by so fast
How come I still look back?
This blonde boy I used to be
Smiled big and was happy
Now everybody's watching
I hate it to be honest
The past few years have felt this way
And oh I've had so much to say
Thinking I'll get over it
There's a lot here to digest
Another person disrespects
I'm keeping guard oh, yet again
Maybe I should unalive
Piss right off and from my life

bones w/ heylog (jpjp)

produced by logan

words:
this poison make my veins stick out my skin
what kills me is the circle that i wit
i dont speak just so you couldnt wish
wish to get up on my business
i wonder what it is that youre on
in front of me is nothing but fog
im here for a sec then im gone
this cunt thinkin that he know it all
you dont know anything at all
i hear you hiss and i see you crawlin

if you could say one thing
what would it be
what would it be
what would it be
what would it be

another day of scrappin many songs
they say bro deleted so much sauce
90% of my disc. is trash
how you even listen? my shits ass
should i just keep this one in the vault
or should i just firm it on the alt
i guess youll never know just where youll see this
maybe someones gonna leak it

wild boar

way ft tante (prod cabber)

produced by @heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
theres a fire that sits outside
punish those with corrupted minds
theres a riot that wakes at night
yelling manipulating lies
theres evil bitches late at night
fragrant lips that could end my life
there she is waiting for my mind
i hand it over whisper it some lies

(uglysneaker)
its hard and when im writin all these letters
and voices showing me death saying its better
so i gotta death call its waiting for me
adios friends ill be gone before the morning
i pick apart and dissect these women like its a cadaver
i like to feed off flesh and never get better
so i gotta dip now cause my demons been waiting
goodbye my love ill be busy hanging with the beasts

(heylog)
theres a fire that sits outside
punish those with corrupted minds
theres a riot that wakes at night
yelling manipulating lies
theres evil bitches late at night
fragrant lips that could end my life
there she is waiting for my mind
i hand it over whisper it some lies

(uglysneaker)
its hard when i couldnt provide ur shelter
and my ego wishes death upon your daughter
so i gotta dip now cause the devil is coming
goodbye u fuck have fun hanging with the beasts
but karmas back i trip and eat the dirt
i solve my anger on a blade and it hurts
i watch it sting but she could feel the burn
u satisfied? u turn my life in for the worse

cadaver (ft. heylog)

produced by heylog

lyrics:
rock bottom to the ocean floor
she ask what are u hurting for
u think we're in a simulation
she hasn't felt this fake before
so he cover up his eyes
to shelter from the wicked whores
but he's surrounded with her lies
they're knockin breakin down his door

would u
say you're proud of me cus i'm
very proud of you
no time
no
to show jealousy
not right
u got the best of me
no lie
would u
say you're proud of me cus i'm
very proud of you
no time
no
to show jealousy
not right
u got the best of me
no lie

everyday when waking up
i swear i'm losing confidence
i been to places seeing things
you'd never imagine
i'm just focused on my life
cut anyone who crosses it
cus any girl or any son
will take upon a deathwish
would u
say you're proud of me cus i'm
very proud of you
no time
no
to show jealousy
not right
u got the best of me

i'm tip-toeing metaphors
she ask what are u searching for
i'm looking for the nearest spot
to finally break through my corpse
i'm cleansed my body sanctified
but soon i'll just cry for some more
i screwed up now she's gone
i don't know what i was waiting for
i got dirt in my hands
and cotton in my pants
i look her in the eyes
tell her u don't want romance
cause i'll break ur heart
before u get the chance
does that sound like a plan
i'll warn u in advance

would u
say you're proud of me cus i'm
very proud of you
no time
no
to show jealousy
not right
u got the best of me
no lie
would u
say you're proud of me cus i'm
very proud of you
no time
no
to show jealousy
not right
u got the best of me