Paper Planes w/ KID E$s

i still see blue

featuring: https://soundcloud.com/user-411557229
prod: saint mike
master: https://soundcloud.com/onlyfriendyeah

writing out these letters
lately i can't help
but pray that i get better 
i'm stuck in my own hell
talk to me slow,
don't let me go 

we were so happy,
what happened?
stuck on the past tense
sometimes i miss it 
it's hard to forget it 
blue,
(i still see blue)
i still think of you
(i still think of you)

lay by the lake,
i was never the same 

baby ima masochist at best
got a lot of scars on my chest 
i was your porcelain puppet 
cracks line over my stomach
even with my body going numb
i still wished to feel the cuts 
and after everything was done
i still wanna be your one

(residential:)
am i bothering at all?
kinda wish you stayed 
is it someone else's palms
or the portraits that i framed

is it killing you at all?
cause i can't say the same 
the hazel in your eyes
is embalmed into my brain 

i cant sleep at night 
it's better with time
but i'll

pull it together
keep my dignity tethered
guess it's better than never
your words here forever

(skele:)
fucking wasted my time
still on the back of my mind
fucking wasted my life 
oh trust me, i tried
(trust me i, trust me i tried)



after everything (w/ residential)

if the bass drop in the house yk its a cleanse
ima keep make shiftin these melodies up in my head

dont wait up for me i wont know advance
if im ever gonna wanna leave or im in a transe
i wanna get out my bed but part of me saying i cant
its been cold start but im gettin up off the bench 
feel like they trick shottin my heart off of the ledge
so i try to get up but then they do it again
thought that felt much better
then i felt the cold hard floor on my skin
i always said it dont matter
and now i been takin back all that i said
i went out cruisin after 
just to go clear out the thoughts in my head
but i wont ever get no rest yea i wont ever go to bed fr
i just lay there and i think
april never come soon enough when im 21 im finna drink
thats what THEY think
when i found out thats how i really feel
i sink down and swallow all my fear

yea at the lake side in the village out by the pier
somehow worried still im lookin at my rear view
i thought my intentions were always clear
ill have a fencin match with all my tears
i know theres so much gaps in all my years
but all i ask is that you keep me near
and if you dont think thats just how i really feel
well then im sorry but i tried while i was here

what they think (neverforever)

i hate the color of red
wish that i wouldn’t of guessed
when you were stressed 
cuz i went to bed
but doesnt matter no more
luckily i got picked right off the floor
cuz i got my trust in the lord
i got my trust in the lord

devil let me go
one more glance til were wrapped in gold
one last dance while im laughin a fool
and i want it but i cant cuz i know i wont control

yea gotta get my mind straight
gotta get it out the gutter gotta migrate

i dont know why all my homies wanna frustrate
me when they already see that i got a full plate

wonder why everyone lookin at me
i already said that in a couple of songs
but i gotta get that fact outta my brain
so ill spill it out til im feelin different 

walkin along im feelin distant
what to unlock, a better position
i had felt better when i couldnt leave
now when i go out i stand there and freeze

oh no brodie deceased
hope hes heaven lookin down at me
wishin and beggin youd come back to see
cuz we were eleven scrapin our knees

cant let those memories fade
we were out every night fishin the lake
they were all snakes
but you stayed the same
cant let contradictary feelings change

all of the pain that still up in my brain
hope it away before i go insane
cuz i got some problems and they kinda stained
so im feeling horrible out in the rain


i hate the color of red
wish that i wouldn’t of guessed
when you were stressed 
cuz i went to bed
never impressed so thats why u left
and i used to drink til i blacked out 
then id wonder why i act out
i was depressed and stuck in my head
im sorry for everything rude that i said


but now theres a difference cuz ill take the blame
all of my energy shiftin my frame
in consious reality i see that im only ever really givin pain
i promise you nobody likes gettin shade
its a game when you walk ina room and they change
all the time i feel like i need a break
but ill still be livin as long as im paid

red (nate2timez x yunnygoldz)

lyrics

save me from this hole that im dug in
walls smother, open up the curtains
dont treat me, im unimportant
take me down to the garden
leaves dry, ambers in my veins
and time becomes so complicated
it makes me cry
id love just one more try

youre tryna build me up but
i love just breaking down
i live with my head in the clouds
i need you to pull me down when youre around
ill reveal the scars on my back
im so fucked up my heads gonna explode
and maybe im okay with that
its about time ive had some relief from the plight that was bestowed upon me
for the past few months i dont even feel like me
im tryna burn the bridges ive been getting third degrees
i think im cursed or maybe i just got a new disease
either way i hope and pray that youll still stay with me
keep my hopes up, but my eyes low
and ill try to call you on the iphone but youre never picking up

youre never picking up
like this time is it really done
im still just leaking all my blood
i guess im used to all the cuts
i could never lie to you
everyday i wake up just to try for you
seems like nothing i say is getting through to you
swear to God that ill wait till i break for you
my love dont answer when im calling
i put too much on it often
please just listen when im talking
in my dreams i see us
falling down
i dont know who the hell is gonna try to save me now
oh what id do for one more night
God, what id do for one more time

save me from this hole that im dug in
walls smother, open up the curtains
dont treat me, im unimportant
take me down to the garden
leaves dry, ambers in my veins
and time becomes so complicated
it makes me cry
id love just one more try

amber w/ skele (p. acey)

[he4vy] 

 i didnt think that this would happen 
never thought id feel this small
living like a broken shell could you imagine
living like youve never lived at all
and the vices giving me all the distraction 
but it doesnt really help my cause 
swear to god that it feels like im doin back bends
know theyre waiting just to see me fall

pick yourself up off the pavement 
i can tell youre always anxious
if youd give it all youve got kid
i can tell youll be famous
i dont think that i can take this
giving face when faceless
never gonna feel alive
im burnt out like a flamed wick

they dont like the way im living lately 
i know its not healthy 
you say you hate the way im so addicted
god damnit fucking help me
always doing the most
never been one to cope
know its only gets worse
ill pay my dues to a rope
bite my tongue til i choke 
im scared of being alone
can you all just let me go

[halfhearted]

live the same day, again and again
got me looking for the meaning
i keep turning on my only friends
but i hope they know i need them
tried to break a habit but its too late
now i wake up in the morning with these cold shakes 
take a shot to help me ease the migraine 
take a trip and finally leave my hkme staye

never coming back
told u id be better
no need to be sad
no need for the letter 
i was scared that youre broke in two
thats why i never reach out too

hate the way im living
its true
and i know that it drives u crazy
when im stuck inaide my room
in shock
when i think abt you
no other soul that id rather run to
so have space if that what you need
but come back to me x2

let me go ft. halfhearted (king theta)

i think it's sad you never cared
you said you did
or maybe i'm just wrong
i tend to split
they say its borderline
a dark abyss
and i say its really hard
but lets call it what it is
i'm so scared of getting close if you hurt me ima dip
i'm so paranoid you lying, i ain't seeing what i did
i just threw it all away, its only way that i'm equipped
you can call me Bojack i'm a Stupid Piece of Shit
i betray myself like every single thing i do
now you know my secrets when i spill them in the booth
i think i'm way too old to still be here to tell the truth
i think i'm way too old to still be smoking on this-
i'm still getting paid, still my money stack
still it doesn't change all the weight that's on my back
i could say i'm fine but i know that's cap
why the fuck i'm such a bitch, i ain't even got my back
i don't know how i should be
i thought i'd know by now at least
self-deprecation brings me peace
if you can't relate i know you can't see
i wish all the hate were to die to me
i wish all the pain weren't inside of me
my torn up lungs cannot lie for me
my secret's safe, it's gonna die with me




SPOS Freestyle

Thank you for listening:)

Produced by secre https://soundcloud.com/prodsecre

Stream: https://share.amuse.io/JsGMDyYoQwft

Lyrics:

from a place called home
i have lost my attatchment
long way to go
it's a longer way back
and i
don't really seem to mind
have i changed for the worse?
i don't think i'm getting back to
the person you deserve
i'm afraid i've lost track 
of time
that i have spent blind

i don't think i'm doing okay
but i don't have the time or energy in me to face that
instead i tend to run away
find comfort in your face and in your words
and i hate that i
can't seem to go one day
without getting in my own way
i know that i'm the only one to blame
but it's hard to not be able to say that i'm

from a place called home
i have lost my attatchment
long way to go
it's a longer way back
and i
don't really seem to mind
have i changed for the worse?
i don't think i'm getting back to
the person you deserve
i'm afraid i've lost track 
of time
that i have spent blind

i just need a little more
i think i just need a little more time
but i think i've told you that before
think you've heard that lie
i just need a little more
i think i just need a little more time
but i think i've told you that before
think you've heard that lie

from a place called home
i have lost my attatchment
long way to go
it's a longer way back
and i
don't really seem to mind
have i changed for the worse?
i don't think i'm getting back to
the person you deserve
i'm afraid i've lost track 
of time
that i have spent blind

a place called home (secre)

Long Road

i've physically been able to relatively get back into releasing music like this;
recovery has been ridiculously difficult, but i feel lightyears more capable
compared to what once was, and the soul-crushing aspect of not being able to output like this is slowly but truly dissipating.

production; courtesy of @wraithontheporch 

thank you for being here, so much.
be safe out there


ignorance laced from the brain to the lips
"if it ain't worth shit, why wait to be there when it is?"
though belated of light, though faint and estranged,
though strained, no night's that blind
festered and caught in a wind,
silently ridden renewal beginnings
forgiving the spite dealt upon all i am,
i take and refrain for the cycle's expansion

i'll mention the faulty of fate,
when the frame's out of range,
have the soul act in place of a comet
to strike down upon this, enduring the promise,
mistakenly pompous, forsaken and rotten

splurging the truth yet perceived as a cheat;
guttural speech yet sewage conceived;
scour the hour once all has devoured the spirit of tone 
that i currently breathe

i'm ripping the bag,
you could swear i'm a coon with trash, being glad with the leftover meat,
but y'all are facetious to see the extent of believing, 
the moment you feel it impede
few to foresee what'll lie in the wake of a bribe,
for a mind doesn't mold what it reaps from you guys whom die and revive,
to come back as a cry, in the form of a grime with a greed

how you gonna lie when we built for the truth?
"how you gonna try what you ain't wanna prove?"
how you gonna cry outside of the booth?
lost too many times that i've slept life through
i've watched myself slipping back into blue,
i've seen defeat in the form of anew
told out myself that i'm seeing it through
told out myself that it's worth every bruise

feeling it out won't dispel,
alice was simply compelled
the bottom is treating you well,
no wonder we're now so frail;
i could use a light for the trail

scrapwork (wraithontheporch)

lyrics ⬇️ 

eyes on the barrel of rifles that are aiming at me just for fun
never know why they think its so delightful 
to make me wanna run
its not one on one
yea they start to gang up on me as a stunt
but thats not enough i do what i want
and ima keep doing it until im gone

yea u cant be lookin for me
hand up but i wont stay to freeze
angels gon take ahold of me
dangerous but my hands stull clean

in a limousine i blacked out like the tint that on the window
got no memories of anything that happened on the dark roads
i was all alone how was it i woke up in a cemetery 
i dont know i guess that ill hope that they remember me

i dont need a therapist
rather talk about it on my own
its theraputic when i tell em i dont wanna go
ill stay at home and practice all the things i wanna grow
then ill lay low until i master something i can show

and you could mean that or you couldn’t 
yea this could be a rat trap you could be a villain 
And i cnanot have that 
i guess ill be wishin
wishin for the right one 
one day ill be given
one day ill be chillin
staring at the ceilin
ill wait until my heart drop
wait until i feel it
whyd u have to steal it
i just want a second to myself to feel completed
But now im only greivin

lie for

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

a place called home (secre)

Yokai Dreams

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