spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5lTeS2AOY3NyTELjl5sIHr?si=506ffc3f1c874be7

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
inspired by @starfall
mix n master by me
trying somethin different
this song means a lot
i hope you enjoy listening

///
oh ive been wrapped up in this hurt
for way too long
everything that i do man i do it for u
and youve taken advantage
what did i do? i just don't understand it
the mental strain is way too much for me
i ask you to stop and i plead on my knees
the dip in my confidence, what i achieve
everything that you are doing to me

or do you want me taking the drugs like the rest?
fail all my classes and blame it on meds
cause deep in my gut i dont think that you care
look in the mirror and pull out my hair

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

cause i try so hard
do what i can but i can't make it far
no i can't make it far
do what i can and i'm trying so hard

oh youve been hurting me bad
i want me back
i got all this damn blood on my hands
skip town with a quick money advance
cause you stole me away from me
and i hold on desperately
but my grip is not strong
oh youre in the wrong
ran out of options i have to stay strong

tired

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5tAXiV5Ty4zKs0Bjd45qXr?si=075203ff1f204884

p. joshwa (@prodbyjoshwa)
mix n master by me
sc compressor is a pain
my best song, hope you enjoy

///
making up some stupid shit that doesnt matter at all
i fucking hate it here, wish i was never involved
i swear i'll move across the country fucking hate it all
i swear if you were in my shoes you would just take them off
and it's not like i'm trying,
to be what you want
i cannot put up with lying,
or tell me it's my fault
so don't you dare look in my eyes and act like you're so appalled
i get hurt so many times, i guess it's all just my fault

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,

don't give a fuck bout what the cost is
i've been feeling nauseous
laying in my bed and you would be the one to start shit
don't know where i fuckin' lost it
"what's with you and being honest?"
yea you told me it'd get better, and you motherfuckin' promised
yea i got this dream
that you were nowhere near me
that you would fucking fear me
look in my eyes so clearly,
fed up with you
yea you watch and reuse
how i fall apart,
and i don't know what to do so,

breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so,
breathe
why cant you,
see
that it's all a little too much for me
it's getting hard to breathe
can't do this constantly
oh you've been bothering me so

breathe

what’s that you said
not gon’ shut up
feelings i can’t keep up
i don’t want 
i don’t need you
i don’t love you
i just needed stability 
i’m so broke down and fidgety 
but
but i was hoping that
we could go back to that time where i hold you baby
i don’t need shit but a macc for my safety 
double 03 put a hole in ur baby 
i’m outside getting high on the daily

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3FeLYX0lYV5CkrFakaqTjj?si=edd3f4d959054cae
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/septembers-burial

produced by ryan (@rywrrd)
 + a little from me

unorthodox and mellow but means a lot, thank you for listening <3
i'll be more consistent next year, i promise 

i know it goes without saying but i hate your guts
spent a couple months, fucked around, came close to giving up
don't show up, right now
i've grown older, i'm not that dumb now
i'll tell you it's fine and i'll leave you to be
you've got no right here to cry and i'm grinding my teeth for you
i've got a lot to say,
but i'd rather not speak 'till you’re up at my grave
the stupid look on my face
you could take it back but i promise the damage won't be replaced
i'll, move far so i don't have a care
that's if i don't die before next year
for the better or the worse,
i flipped my insides out and tried to make it work
won't it be fun when they find out
out through your door and through the gate your quiet speech is like a mouse
tell me, who is laughing now?
there's so much for you to see
i bite down and clench my teeth
there's so much for you to see
i'll be there, give me a week.

september's burial

september's burial (ry)

made it 2 years back

lyrics 

what did i do to you
sat down and i stay true to you 
i watched them laugh at you 
and that day made me mad at you

i said goodbye to you
white ivy
what do i mean to you
i said a lie to you
white ivy
what is the difference then
he didn’t love her
what can you ask in an offer
he made a son and a daughter
baby did not know his father 
always stayed close to that bottle 
he found mom in a brothel 
i had to learn what hurt is 
i can tell you it’s awful 
i had to lay where the dirt is
i knew pops was an asshole 
he made a son and a daughter 
baby did not know his father 

what did i do to you
sat down and i stay true to you 
i watched them laugh at you 
and that day made me mad at you

white ivy

00317

@1spoder
prod roku
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/bruise

lyrics -
open up the fuckin door hun
is this everything you wanted?
tell me did you really wanna
tell me did you really wanna
pop another bottle up
tell me is it lust is it really love
pop another bottle up
is it really lust is it really love
can you see what I see
through your stupid lies
it gets harder to breathe
every time

walk it down
throw it up love
love to be the one that you want
I keep falling down, keep falling out
did everything you told me to
talk every way you want me to
fuck it up
it's a dud
I don't love you
I tried it, no use
stuck in silence I bruise (I feel overwhelmed)
stuck in silence I bruise (I tried)
stuck in silence I bruise

are you amused?
go tie up that noose (it's all my fault)
acting like you nuanced and shit
alright love then burn off that bridge
tell me love how I'm supposed to live
kick yo feet up
wanna be us
she want more not enough
is it all you dream of
all you need love
fall in now I'm stuck
will you pull through?
I don't like you no more

can you see what I see
through your stupid lies
it gets harder to breathe
every time

walk it down
throw it up love
love to be the one that you want
I keep falling down, keep falling out
did everything you told me to
talk every way you want me to
fuck it up
it's a dud
I don't love you
I tried it, no use
stuck in silence I bruise (I feel overwhelmed)
stuck in silence I bruise (I tried)
stuck in silence I bruise

spoder - bruise

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4I9bp9alDC4m9MT4GNLtOY?si=b589387c7a0a444c
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/able

produced by jonah bru
mixed written performed by me
cover art by yinon

valentines day song
hope you enjoy, more stuff soon :)
thank you for listening as always

///
show me how
show me how you love
tell me how
tell me how you feel
stop it love I'm exhausted
don't give it up, I thought you were someone that I-

don't tell me the time that I spent was no use
will I be more than (be more than)
problems to you?
oh I'll carry all my baggage to show you I'm able
you stutter your speech cause it's true

tread fine lines
when I'm with you it feels like there's no wrong or right
sworn by you, we'd grow older
my feelings attached
now I sit like a loner
oooh
I'll make sure that I'll
dooo
everything that you want me to
dumb ear had me in loop
what's there for me to do
don't give it up, I thought you were someone that I loved

don't tell me the time that I spent was no use
will I be more than (be more than)
problems to you?
oh I'll carry all my baggage to show you I'm able
you stutter your speech cause it's true

able

produced by cmb
written, mixed, performed by me
i love you always
hope you're well ^.^

///
you were once in a lifetime
no i don't want to die for someone else
once in a lifetime
i'll toss my hurt and hide it on the shelf
no i wouldn't be with no one else
no i wouldn't be with no one else
but you're gone and i'm lost again 

i told my pops i'll be okay
he knows that i can't sleep at night
the thought of you with someone else replays like hell i'm petrified 
my arms stained crimson red
i wish you'd kiss me and tell me that it's all in my head
feel like a psycho i stalk you and then go back to bed
without you i would rather be dead
without you i would

forget all that i said
unscrew my head and put another, lay me down to rest
couple folks told me i need to let it go
told them they’re crazy and i left
i know that i could be a handful baby it’s part of my nature
fool me once, you fooled me twice, so much for asking for a favour
why do you look so blue?
your eyes have lost their colour bae, what’s bothering you?
don’t mistake me for a loon, i see right through you
it’s not a secret i miss you oh i see right through you
it’s not a secret i love you

you were once in a lifetime
no i don't want to die for someone else
once in a lifetime
i'll toss my hurt and hide it on the shelf
no i wouldn't be with no one else
no i wouldn't be with no one else
but you're gone and i'm lost again