novemberfirst, twentytwentyone.
produced by @anvii, @heavenindaclouds, & @coleslau.
featuring @heartstopmiami & @tropes777.
cover art by s4ndyha.

[anvii]
stop now
i dont want to lie to u anymore
but i miss u
ive been in disarray for a bit now but its fine
and ive been thinking bout u for a while
for a while
while all these tears start coming out of my eyes
and this is the only thing that i just despise
i wish i could get over us
i just dont want to care bout u
but i do
but i do

[hook]
i know that i fucked up
i know that we were young
just tell me im alright
be fine
yea tell me one more time

[heartstopmiami]
i couldve tried for ya
but i fuckin left ya
in a car feelin bad but its whatever
2 bands i just stuff it in my pants yea
cuz i hate how
i handle things now
like i think money is the answer to my problems
but its not yea
it’s just one to cause some
i could say sorry but i know i’ll never
cuz i hate how
we interact now but
remember when we was on the floor?
or when we was throwing rocks through the shore?
we could probably do that now (again)
just changed since we were that young
shit we're still too young
way too young
we could probably try again 
but we were way too dumb
way too dumb
way too dumb
and i swear i think about it everyday

[tropes]
yea, what u make of me right now?
yea, i can tell u all my sound
yea, but u wanna ruin it all
yea i think that im done, i miss when this was fun
yea, put in my two weeks
i try to help but i'm too weak
i'm done, no more talk and outcries
we're falling out, why do none of u care
and i tried to meet your best for once
and i felt right in your bed for once- its done
leave me dead so what
why would you care?
where am i im nowhere
ive got fears of going back
yeah i got tears they flowin back
yea stuck up in the system, come teach me a lesson
imma be a victim, kill me with a wesson

one more time

stream

one more time w/ heartstopmiami & tropes

it's been about three months since we last talked
i thought i'd leave a lasting mark
but you moved on faster than i thought
and sometimes i think i'm him
i still think i'm him
then i wonder where you've been
and then all my memories come tumbling down

when all is said and done
you pulled the trigger of that gun
those were my skull fragments that scattered all over your lawn
when everyone's dead and gone
i hope you'll remember this song
won't you close your sweet eyes
remember, you still hold me by the lungs

i still miss you

i feel so guilty
i tore your heart out
and i bet you miss me
but i got swapped out
well what can i say after i treated you that way

heavy tropes&ryo influence

Hold me by the lungs

produced by me and @redhxrse
mixed by meee
redhorse helped so much, go check em out fr

lyrics:

and you can tell yourself that ill be waiting for you
cause ive been on my own for far too long, and i adore you
and no one else just wants to help me with my sorrows
but ill be good as long as i see you tomorrow

and you can tell yourself that ill be waiting for you
cause ive been on my own for far too long, and i adore you
and no one else just wants to help me with my sorrows
but ill be good as long as i see you tomorrow

tomorrow

Scissor rabbit

you scream so loud that you cough it all up
unnatural red as you throw it all up
i told you that cigarettes make your tongue shrivel up
dont know how much longer ill go i feel my legs giving up

dont downplay me
dont you feel any remorse?
youre crying on your bedroom floor
ever been vulnerable before?
think im crazy
didnt you break your closet door?
woodchips sink in through your pores
splinters eating at your core

but just for you ill stay up til my eyes go red
ill hold on hanging by your thread
ill skip my train to stay with you instead
ill leave my brain and then ill look half dead
ill stay up til my eyes go red
ill hold on hanging by your thread
ill skip my train to stay with you instead
ill leave my brain to lay with you in bed
dont downplay me
dont you feel any remorse?
youre crying on your bedroom floor
ever been vulnerable before?
think im crazy
didnt you break your closet door?
woodchips sink in through your pores
splinters eating at your core

Your hamartia

hi hello sorry for nothing in april ill compensate by posting twice in a month i think june 
i am so sorry i literally ripped off dayglow and kale and jane (hey guys if you see this MY BAD) haahhahaahha but its whatevevr tho it sounds cool right? idk i hope auybgftaeiu0

thank you mental for letting me use FL and thank you luna for tha advice wowowowowowowow

btw i been thinking i want to make an EP this year i hope you can look forward to that???? :D

ok heres lryics

lyrics:

...

i cant breathe this air
its suffocating
conversation
stuck inside my mouth

i dont even know 
i dont really want to calm down
tell me what you want
tell me what you really want now

heart still pacin
what you mean? 
sounds cover me
i cant figure this out

i dont really know
do i ever make your heart race?
call me when im gone
do i ever make your heart ache?


...when im outsiiide
and i see you smiiile
its worth it to fiiind
what makes you aliiive

and when you got the flooor
sappiamo dell'amor
id like to feel restooored
you make me want you mooore

...
(healing)
...

& id do anything to be a fuckin hotshot
why do i even try?
could i ever mean as much as her 
and what you want from me?
if it doesnt happen; guess ill ---

(everythings different now...)

COVETER (MOUTH)

☆

prod and mix by @traxee 

BEATSCAPE: https://youtu.be/jIFm2VkaaQ8 

Get the elevator on the wrong floor I didnt press it right
Office job is kinda lame still stuck in the past
I wanna try a different way
Pet projects and cases that they throw away
Trash it and go back to grey

safe in the dark town
oddly unironic
and at least i can walk unafraid
if i believe things will be alright
Pillows on my bed
shove em all to the ground
and tryna feel less alone
by turning on the tv
open your diary
what did u write about me
ink lit up from the screen
the brightest show and tell
yea

Little glow in the dark
Ceiling with the stick on stars
its like the world is ours
when its not really at all
See how its all gonna play out
Still Trying not to fade out
Stick with me on the days
That aren’t easy at all

i confuse myself, help
i could use some self help
never know what to do
So I must be selfish too
leave it all on the line
trust itll all end up fine
leave it all on the line
Its why i look to you

and then I'm back to the real world
and i'm working 9 to 7s
wasting my freakin life
without learning any lessons 
realitys so numbing
Step one and then come through
I think i'll feel better if we talk 
in circles like we do

i got u using my slang
the words we say are the same
makes me believe in something
i used to think was insane

Ima watch it all unfurl
They make it seem so easy to fall
but i know i'd get picked up
even if it takes a while

Off the elevator on the wrong floor i didnt press it right
Office job is kinda lame but its not gonna last
i wanna try a different way
feeling out the phases
they say
go away 
always make it out okay

ultrabeat sound of my 18 (p. traxee)

+ @caleblrt

but rest assured, ill take whats urs
theres something more
i seek support and ur falling short
want me to take u to the airport?

it makes me throw up
makes my head spin
just look around
i dont wanna grow, ill scratch my dead skin off
crying in the room that u had sex in
just slow down, just look around

protect my sins, i wrote a note
you took a hit, we still can't cope
you seek support, i'm on the low
but everything will never be the same again
and you're still here?
you see me leer back as im running
i dont wanna run into you
you're gonna show up again
but i dont want it
i dont want it
i dont want it because

it makes me throw up
makes my head spin
just look around
i dont wanna grow, ill scratch my dead skin off
crying in the room that u had sex in
slow down, just look around
u make me throw up, make my blood thin
look at u up and down
push me around, burn ur cigarettes into my arms
and when u show up in your mustang
oh i melt and i melt cuz i know how it felt

Bloodthinners, Pushing (+caleb)

take a pill and go to sleep
turn around and show your teeth
i dont care what the others see
watch me hanging from ur tree outside
pocket of bliss under ur sheets 
dont cry now
i found out why ur so scared

did i put u to sleep?
the better half of a week
i wont stare when you gently weep
i know u know im tongue tied
ill catch ull throw me aside
thats when i found out u never cared

i didnt plan it this way
now im watching u decay
i promised that id keep u safe
ur guts are all over the place

put me down
turn around
im seeing sounds now im too scared
put me down
turn around
im seeing sounds now im too scared

Dozer

New mixx ++ @pianochop

Your words come right out my mouth, I said 
Look twice then give me the go ahead
Head ... ahead ... head
The madder you get, the lighter I tread
Stab through like a dagger right into my head
Well isn't it nice to take my advice

You make me feel like a boy, you make me feel like your toy
Was all of this just a ploy, was all this to make a point
No I don't mean to annoy, I always try to avoid
So hard to talk through the noise, you're always muting my voice

Old mix
https://soundcloud.com/audiachain/headache-for-the-record-books-soundcloud-version/s-ExurL6pkEkG?si=003074820bf24c9c975b3a2c9a9d9c44&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Headache for the record books

today it is the way it is
my skin feels like silk thats about to rip
replay ur kiss all against my wish
u display and dismiss while i cant resist

if i lash out nothings personal, u dont need to know
if i come off too emotional, u can always say so

the bruise left on my neck, the scratch left on my chest
open the door and check, no ones home

abandoned my mirror, im 2 weeks in
and i cant be near her, im getting too thin
and ive been so bitter since that kick in my chin
u cant find a place that ur always safe in
ill cough up my lung while i feel it cave in
im not gonna do this again

if i lash out nothings personal, u dont need to know
if i come off too emotional, u can always say so
ever since i got a taste of that ethanol, ive been stuck in a lull
and i got so used to following ur protocol and now im too dull

Pivot

massive thanks to @mewatonin for her help on this track

lyrics:

i went out when i fell asleep last night
yeah i had a feelin i wasnt goin down alright
i thought i gave it up, started feelin bad for myself
i looked in the mirror, i saw someone else
o yea

i woke up in a bad dream
im just another bad thing
i woke up with my eyes closed
she dont love me i know
x2

(change my mind in the morning
break my heart by the time the night ends
said its alright, then?
i've been waiting for way too long
trying not to
break my own heart
break my own heart)

...

[ bad dream
bad things
eyes closed
i know
bad dream
sad things
eyes closed
i know ]

Your hamartia

Daisy Chain

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