trying my hardest

stream on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0bawM83DKPc6x34fbSouE7?si=c9817a13a32349a5

too many issues i cant solve emmm
thanks 4 everything, really proud of this song i hope yall like it lol

lyrics:
you say its for the best,
but i feel way too stressed.
i swear that im losing sight
of what i do best
i wanna be right
yeah well im obssessed
its bad that i lie...
but theres stuff i cant confess

ive been down and so hopeless
im losing my focus
i hope i can show this
my life is so bogus
my career is tanking
everythings taking
a dangerous route

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
and your eyes say no but i can see all your greed
im an asshole addict with tendencies to grieve
i hate the person im becoming
i swear its natural but i feel like its evil
ive been losing focus in the sight of my dreams
i wanna turn back time but i dont think i can leave

take another step forward, i wish that i could step more
i try to turn around to face the problems but i get bored
they tell me im a monster in disguise without a big roar
seeing all my friends going up wish i could get more

and everyone around wants me to change myself
ive been stuck up in the clouds where i cannot find help
ive been dragged inside the mud and ive been down in hell
and really i have not been feeling all too well

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
and your eyes say no but i can see all your greed
im an asshole addict with tendencies to grieve
i hate the person im becoming
i swear its natural but i feel like its evil
ive been losing focus at the sight of my dreams
i wanna turn back time but i dont think i can leave

i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please
i, want, you to tell me
cus ur the last damn person that im needing to please

issues prod siemspark & ayoley

prod. mochi @1m0chi

lyrics: 
you keep talking on my name. why do you care?
you keep telling people that it wasnt fair
youre just mad im doing better than you could
but i aint never coming back, i know that you would

and its hard for me to grasp and realize
i been talking to your friends you keep telling them all these lies
and we're just saying the same things im just tryna touch the sky
and im just trying to win but you dont wanna see me do it at all

cause god shes better than you, you say you dont even care (x4)
and shes a narcissist a pessimist i dont even care

you been tryna focus on me
im okay let it be
shes mad that shes od
i think that you should leave

i dont wanna talk. just be alone
thats why you still hit my phone
dont raise your tone

and i dont wanna fucking talk to you anymore
thats why your boyfriend hit me up he told me yall aint gon be no more
you starting shit on the daily and im starting to get real bored
you say youre happier with him, so what you tired of living for?

cause god shes better than you, you say you dont even care (x4)
and shes a narcissist a pessimist i dont even care

spotify

better than you (@lovehishia on ig)

a song ab my struggle and journey w/ identity and dysphoria :)

ty to @nclkyr for being on this with me <3

production: soma @prodsoma
mixing & mastering: orchid @0rch_id & me

instagram: instagram.com/avit69
youtube: youtube.com/c/avit69
streaming platforms: fanlink.to/AViT69

[verse]
ripped all my clothes from my closet
couldn’t bear it
tried breaking every mirror in my home
couldn’t do it
never felt quite right in this body of mine
it’s like i’m living a lie and i feel locked inside
been tryna find the answers to this all my life
but still i hide…

[pre-chorus]
i could dress like this
and i could talk like that
but it would never amount
this feeling just won’t quit
no matter what i do
it lingers back to me
can’t run away…

[chorus]
cuz every time i meet my eyes
it doesn’t fit with my mind
what i feel deep inside
i just don’t know who i am
wish i could be just like her
or i could be just like him
idk who i wanna be anymore
x2

[verse: kyra]
im scared to know whats right and wrong 
cuz everything just takes too long 
the way that everyone looks good
and im just stuck here, im thinking 
wish i could do it again and again 
i feel so amazing when im in a dress 
little do they know…
i just dont know who i am anymore

[chorus]
every time i meet my eyes
it doesn’t fit with my mind
what i feel deep inside
i just don’t know who i am
wish i could be just like her
or i could be just like him
idk who i wanna be…

[post-chorus]
i could be just like them
or anything that i want
in between or nothing at all
it doesn’t matter to me
cuz in the end, i may not know
what i really want, idk
but i finally know who i am

[outro] (avit + kyra)
who i am 12x
yeah i finally know who i am…

just like them feat. Kyra (Prod. Soma)

Produced by @delto & Rosesleeves

Lyrics-
You’re the best sculptor I’ve ever known
And sometimes I wish for an alternate ending where we were still close
In this abyss where a million things could’ve happened
I’m not sure why it went how it did and I can’t help but look back
I can’t find a way, I can’t find a way
To stop that

I got new people in my life and I’m tryna rearrange them
To fill the space you left but I know it isn’t working
I told myself it wasn’t meant to be I’m lying
But I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt

I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt
I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt

I got new people in my life and I’m tryna rearrange them
To fill the space you left but I know it isn’t working
I told myself it wasn’t meant to be I’m lying
But I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt
I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt
I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt

And I’ve tried giving it time
It feels like you’ll always be a part of my life
But for some reason we had to say goodbye
Maybe I’ll find you in another lifetime
And I’ve tried to distract myself
Think about something else
But my head keeps on taking me back to you this is hell
I’m tryna figure out how to live my life without you
And I still don’t know how to
Cause nothing stops the hurt

You’re the best sculptor I’ve ever known
And I’ll always wish for an alternate ending where we were still close
In this abyss where a million things could’ve happened
I’m not sure why it went how it did and I can’t help but look back
I can’t find a way, I can’t find a way
To stop that

I got new people in my life and I’m tryna rearrange them
To fill the space you left but I know it isn’t working
I told myself it wasn’t meant to be I’m lying
But I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt
I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt
I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt

I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying yeah I’ll just keep on trying yeah
Just keep on trying yeah I’ll just keep on trying 
I’m lying but I’ll just keep on trying yeah I’ll just keep on trying cause nothing stops the hurt

Sculptor (coprod. Delto)

Luh bday song love u all <333 

im so tired

(lyrics)
You see me trying but you say its not enough
Ive been broken my hearts bleedin girl I hate it when we fight

But on my death bed
Ill be staring at the stars 
Ive been tryna make a wish
Cause youre the only girl I want

But it aint right anymore
Cause what we had fell apart
You know im smoking a lot 
Girl you left me in the dark

Thought im right but im wrong
I keep fuckin it up
I dont know what I should tell you
Ive been feelin pretty numb

Tell me something why the fuck did I keep chasin ???
Ive been feelin pretty tired 40 hours spent awake

I wash the blood away
Thats drippin from my nose
And I could tell you that im fine 
but ive been dying on my own

And I know you wont call
Its killin me inside 
I tried to take some fluoxetine
But it aint set me right 

And I thought that you were the one in my fuckin life
That I could cherish girl you would help me sleep at night

But it aint right anymore
Cause what we had fell apart
You know im smoking a lot 
Girl you left me in the dark

Thought im right but im wrong
I keep fuckin it up
I dont know what I should tell you
Ive been feelin pretty numb

Tell me something why the fuck did I keep chasin ???
Ive been feelin pretty tired 40 hours spent awake

I wash the blood away
Thats drippin from my nose
And I could tell you that im fine 
but ive been dying on my own

SPOTIFY

walking in the fog (methboiswag)

I have no motivation
So I get nothing done
I hate the mornings so i 
Sleep in way past the sun    	 
I have like everything but
I still find nothing fun, 
I really like the smell of
The world when it burns

It keeps me warm
It keeps me warm
It keeps me warm

now its only a fraction   
Of times that we had
So i turn to distractions
Whenever im sad  
It turns into a cycle
I think im going psycho
Fraid of things that i might do
Might do

Lately i just hate everyone
I hope they all run away 
I hope they somehow just trip and fall
I hope they dig their own graves 

Im a mess
Im obsessed 
with distractions all day
And when i stop  
drown in thoughts
i just break down again
(2x)

Fuck that
Ima turn this shit around
Wrote that
In december i was down
Looking back that shit was kinda rough
But now im here its kinda funny got my money up

This year ,drop whatever I wana
All my songs are kinda sad but now im tryn be funner
Theres jus this
Big fear, 
I wont do any numbers
doesn't matter anyways im already goin down under 

I
I got a present 4 u
And im not sure if you’ll like it or not
But i assure u its straight from da heart
Ok u
U make write all these songs
But im j sad 1 percent  of the time
I jus dont make songs about 99

distractions

when will i stop being the problem w/ tigerstar *p. uxbie

i just need some time alone.

produced by soma & me @prodsoma
mixed & mastered by me
art by yonosora https://linktr.ee/yonosora

instagram: instagram.com/avit69
youtube: youtube.com/c/avit69
website: www.avit.wtf

lyrics:
so sew my eyes shut
don’t ever want to see it near
it’s like these deep cuts
blood’s pouring out, it’s all over me
i’m feeling weak and can’t get off my knees
i need a break, i need to fucking breathe
can’t promise anything that i won’t keep
don’t stay by me, please do not look at me now 

yeah i never wanted 
any of this pain, it’s killing me now 
it’s all just self-inflicted
this air, it’s filled with toxins 
and i feel surrounded
heart’s pacing round it
this pressure’s closing
but i never wanted to admit it 

it fills my lungs
and it all feels so wrong
all my work undone 
i just no longer belong 
no place to call my home
nowhere that i can run
no one i can believe
no time to fucking breathe 

feel my time is up
got nothing else in luck
i’m bleeding out my words
and oh i know, it hurts to say it
don’t wanna pick the pieces
given too many chances
do not deserve forgiveness
from u, i don’t deserve it
i need some space
to catch my breath
i need it bad
i’m ripping apart at every seam

Breathe (Prod. Soma & AViT)

w/ https://soundcloud.com/starfall prod https://soundcloud.com/prodbyjoshwa https://soundcloud.com/rosesleeves & https://soundcloud.com/buginfestedfloorboards
You hurt everytime you love
And I break every sense of trust
I wish I could love you
But i'm making it hard too
Same place that and we're at
Is how we started I hate that
You can't handle the truth
It's so easy being over you

Why do you stay 
Been needing you all day
It's so sad that
I hadda let you 
Go go go
I let you
Hope hope hope
I saved my own
Finding places
I wanna run to
You found your own peace
I found a new you
Even if we fall into pieces
I'll be here if you need it

Tell me if it's really you
i wanna show you all the things we'll do 
Maybe i'll tell you some exciting news
I think i'm startna really like u too 
I think you're great
Always late
Don't care what the world could say about you 
Hate all the way 
When somebody can't relate around you
Hey, may i say, that i really like being around you 
Changing your mind and shit
I'd rather have you lie than this 
Maybe it's time to quit 
But you are all i'm thinking about

Why do you stay 
Been needing you all day
It's so sad that
I hadda let you 
Go go go
I let you
Hope hope hope
I saved my own
Finding places
I wanna run to
You found your own peace
I found a new you
Even if we fall into pieces
I'll be here if you need it

Everytime You Love w/ Starfall (Joshwa, Soju & Rosesleeves)

(@prodnomu)

haven't posted a song in forever so here u go <3 luv u allll thank u for listening


Its a been while since i been by myself
Talking nobody else
Except me

Ive been so comfortable inside my own shell
And im feeling quite well
Its routine

Everybody gets one second
Ye Just one second of heaven
1 for me
1 for u
1 for everytime u knew
How i felt when i was down
Everytime ur not around
For the first time in forever I wake up without u now

dont know how much time i have
Til my haves become my had
And my dreams turn into wishes
While my wishes turn to ash
Ive got problems in my veins
You can see it in my face
But my problems fade away
Everytime u call my name

FUCK!!
This prolly the last time for a while
It seems like the perfect chance to get things off my mind ye
Wish i had more music but i just don't have the time
Maybe it's excuses but regardless i was trying

And every time i hear a song i feel so insecure
Cuz everybody has a sound and im just standing here
Cant write a line i lost my shine im out of things to sharee
But thanks for listening to me its good to know you care

just an update - i made it into college
Hope i get a chance to see u all after the fall ends
Ill miss everyone of you who talked to me at all and
Ill make sure to check up on the ones who even called me

Promise ill be back
Maybe send me messages and maybe start a chat
ive been feeling better and better
like Much better than ever
finally i really like it where im at :)

comfortable

spotify <3

Tên tôi là, Vivi!

Business only - vi@avit.wtf

just like them feat. Kyra (Prod. Soma)

AViT

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