they say boys dont cry ft. jstnprks & kennedyxoxo *kt3lly*

I been stumbling my way through life
Holding onto things that I know will die
Say she wanna fuck, but I can't think, let alone even try
Knife creeping on your flesh, baby, tell me if you even really feel alive

Drank too much, text you, bitch, I'm boutta slide
Blood is pouring out, steel exposing your insides
Walking 'round neurotic, always think I'm gonna die
Beartrap on my head, got me ripping out my eyes
Soldered wounds shut, bitch, I'll make sure I survive
Cold case, cut throat, locked up in the basement
Lungs are filled with asbestos, I messed up
Blade deep in your body, feel your breath choke

Spirits in these walls when you're here, know they won't come around
Trauma flooding back, used to being told, "Don't make a sound"
Face down on the ground with my hands up
Watch your final breath through the screen of my camera
Left to die, you know you'll never find your way back home
Buried underneath years of snow, bones are growing cold
Know we die alone
But I still need something with you, got something to prove

I been stumbling my way through life
Holding onto things that I know will die
Say she wanna fuck, but I can't think, let alone even try
Knife creeping on your flesh, baby, tell me if you even really feel alive


Drank too much, text you, bitch, I'm boutta slide
Blood is pouring out, steel exposing your insides
Walking 'round neurotic, always think I'm gonna die
Beartrap on my head, got me ripping out my eyes
Soldered wounds shut, bitch, I'll make sure I survive
Cold case, cut throat, locked up in the basement
Lungs are filled with asbestos, I messed up
Blade deep in your body, feel your breath choke

spotify link<3

die (frevel x pekarot)

produced by xona

- lyrics -
and my body 
feels light and I can’t go with you
and my skin falls off, it’s so cruel
but I’ll hang till you kill me this day
I won’t chase when you think I’m this way 

your spit 
(your words)
your spit
(got me)
oh~ voiceless 
(haunted)
voiceless

go

talk like you’re drugged, fucked up from all 
your wrongs but point to one’s you love
but if I die today, would you sing my way?
but do you feel that change? cause I feel betrayed 

the war begun and I’d entrust
many lives with my love

~

and my body 
feels light and I can’t go with you
and my skin falls off, it’s so cruel
but I’ll hang till you kill me this day
I won’t chase when you think I’m this way

spotify

spit

produced by xona, ruevi, & oc

big thank you to all individuals who helped make this song possible <3

@ruevi @prod-oc
@heylog
@hiraethsry
@sleepywater
@sinxi
@caspywaspy
@vilsynth
@valerii
@deadfishh

the lyrics were over 4000 characters and that's the limit for soundcloud ♥

-lyrics-
https://genius.com/Xona-avoid-ii-lyrics

xona

avoid II w/ ruevi, heylog, hiraeth, sleepwater, sinxi, casperrr, vil, valerii & deadfish

Produced by navyxower
Written by Heylog & navyxower
Mix and master by Heylog & navyxower

lyrics
-------
its so challenging
you can throw me out, recycle me
I'm mortified
trying everything to keep me in line
I was neglected, but I'm feeling fine
will I be alright
i cant see through the fight!

I'm really a joke
you can see it in my eyes
a lonely little child
nobody by my side

they stay up for a while
night shift, go for a drive
ill wait until the morning to see you both in life

YOU ASK ME IF IM BORED OF YOU!
i tell you its alright
nobody ever missed me, im happy that your mine
ill stay here watch some cartoons
*do nothing with my life*
a lonely little child
just trying to get by

sing me, a lullaby to put me right to sleep
sleep by my side, and ill be happy as can be
a life that's full of trauma, guess healing aint for me
wait until the morning, ill be throwing up you see

she's upset, I know I messed up
in the bed, I slowly get up
look around, this is the last time
in ur room, it's home in my eyes
thunderstorms
travel back
stay the night 
then miss u bad
one hour
till I'm home
the last place I wanna go
seeing you like everyday to not seeing at all
how'd it go from talking every night to not one call
these changes, I don't like them, especially being alone
it'd probably be worse if I didn't learn how to grow

I'm really a joke
you can see it in my eyes
a lonely little child
nobody by my side

they stay up for a while
night shift, go for a drive
ill wait until the morning to see you both in life

sibling w/ heylog

hope u guys like dis one!!! <3
another epic song w me and @imgeist
produced by: what?boy

LYRICS:

Take me back to last winter
When you were still here with me 
And I’m feeling so bitter 
Feeling so bitter sweet 
I’m gone, and your out 
Thinking bout what I should be doing now 
Leave me in the gutter 
I need some time to think about what I have done cause I’m at fault 
And I don’t think I deserve you I am better on my own 
So just leave me in the dust

As I run 
And I go to a place I don’t know 
It’s all changed, see your face, i don’t see you the same as before 
And I’m sorry I was always so cold
And do you have a second to spare 
I need your time baby, I just wanna get outta here
Been losing my mind lately, I cannot see things clear 
I suck at time saving, I ain’t seen you in a year
And since then I ain’t functioned sober 
And it’s you I can’t seem to get over 
But you don’t even remember what we had 
You just blame it all on a hangover 

I’m gone, and your out 
Thinking bout what I should be doing now 
Leave me in the gutter 
I need some time to think about what I have done cause I’m at fault 
And I don’t think I deserve you I am better on my own 
So just leave me in the dust

just leave me in the dust 
oh why the pretty words when u don’t care for us? 
you left a hole in me and ask me where’s the trust 
like you didn’t tear it up 
and it’s okay my love 

but tell me how you feel cause i’ve been losing my mind 
there’s only so much i can take before i let it all die 
and it’s been said my whole life
same song like one thousand times 
but i’m too tired to fight 
so can you save me the lies 
 
you don’t know the start of me 
and i don’t know what to believe 
you left me here just to bleed 
now i’m begging for relief

I’m gone, and your out 
Thinking bout what I should be doing now 
Leave me in the gutter 
I need some time to think about what I have done cause I’m at fault 
And I don’t think I deserve you I am better on my own 
So just leave me in the dust

have a good day :)

bittersweet w/ i'm geist

lina - heylog (transparent)

(never again)
(never again)
never again, god i'm hanging by a thread
all my life another night on the edge
i'll say goodbye now
you can cry your eyes out
i'll be alright while you're alone
tell me when, god i'm hanging by a thread
all my life another night on the edge
i don't think you get it
god you're so pathetic
crying out the exit all alone

can you tell me that you cared
every night i've been impaired
but deep down i'm so scared

i got drunk
hit a bump
why am i feeling so slump
i've been losing my shit
and i haven't slept in months
quitting weed made me dream
and i don't like it one bit
(this life's not what it seems)

i hit a blunt, i hit a bag, now what's the move
when i wake up, i don't need drugs, i just need you
woah
i just spent another night out
now i'm back inside your house
i've been so turnt up tryna fight the urge to sleep
but it's been a couple days and it's more than i can take
but i'll find a way
there's something 'bout the way that you make me feel
which path do i take
throw it all away or bury my heart

and i can't believe you actually made me bury my beliefs
i gave it all of me and sacrificed my unity
the tragic path to you and me
it's always something that's not up to you or me
it's in my head but it's not something i can see
it's only something that is slightly out of reach
it's something out a eulogy

i got drunk
hit a bump
why am i feeling so slump
i've been losing my shit
and i haven't slept in months
quitting weed made me dream
and i don't like it one bit
(this life's not what it seems)

never again, god i'm hanging by a thread
all my life another night on the edge
i'll say goodbye now
you can cry your eyes out
i'll be alright while you're alone

can you tell me that you cared
every night i've been impaired
but deep down i'm so scared

THREAD w/ lil narnia, fats’e, anxiety attacks!

prod by me :>

(skylin)
all the hatred that you're giving me is only poisoning
at least with my enemies i know what it is they seek
I rather judas instead of someone backstabbing me
oh you're pathetic askin me if I would forgive you

I never go out or talk to people like I know I should
it's easier not engaging and hiding inside my hood
sometimes I tend to fail myself and everyone around me
I guess it kinda scared me from socially interacting

on the darkest days I don't know who it is that I will call
but I am hoping you answer because im bout to fall
and I don't know where I am going but ik you know it all
so I am calling out to you please do not let me fall


(heylog)
catch me on the other end
what i said i really meant
what are all the thoughts your brain holds
what's inside that head
i think i finally figured you out
i think it's time to step out your life now
i don't know what i did for you to become untied to me
if you're gonna act like this then break it off entirely
and if i would've known your emotions would all start piling
then i would've kept it hush instead of you crying to me
i was there for you when no one else was
now i'm seeing the truth and exposing your bluffs
i was there for you at your lowest point
don't go and blame it on me, this wasn't my choice

[[anger - disconnect]]

traitor w/heylog

traitor w/ heylog (Now on Spotify)

All Platforms - https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/vil13/existentialist-feat-heylog-2
Featuring @heylog
Produced + Mastered by @noraevelyne
Written, recorded, and mixed by @vilsynth @heylog

(Lyrics)
You hit my car today, I'm locked in pain, it's part of your game now
I spent my childish days incarcerated to watch what the fame bout
If there's a night light in my room, want you to turn it on
She's indecisive of my doom, I see her loaded gun
She already won
I just have to pick a side, and let her know which way to cross

I know what you know, oh-oh
I know what you know, I know what you know
I know what you know, oh-oh

I feel the blood pouring out my side
I need your touch, hold me till I die
Drain the IV from my eye
They're tryna poke more needles in my skin, I don't wanna cry

Coat my skin entirely
Fold my ends, and tie me
Hold my hand and cry to sleep
It only ends when Im deceased
It's not the other way
I could get you out my life, and see some better days
But I don't want that on my record (x2)

(@heylog)
I don't think you know how much you really meant
I take in account and confess my sins
Put a bullet on my name and on a list
Cause I know, know you can't get a grip
You were made to have a role but you don't play your part
You'll start to realize it don't work when dealing different cards
And it brought me to the fact we live in different hearts
I'm tryna see the best in you but this is hard
If there's a light inside my room please turn it on
And if I see you on tv i'll turn it off
How can I speak without having to cough
And I had to get it off my chest because

(@vilsynth and @heylog)
You hit my car today, I'm locked in pain, it's part of your game now
I spent my childish days incarcerated to watch what the fame bout
If there's a night light in my room, want you to turn it on
She's indecisive of my doom, I see her loaded gun
She already won
I just have to pick a side, and let her know which way to cross

Spotify + Apple Music

Existentialist (ft. heylog) [nora evelyne]

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i don't have anything
to offer while he sell himself
imma tie him down with rope
and somebody duct tape his mouth
god u must be tweaking
you've done nothing to deserve a crown
deep down he struggles envy
he blocks it with the words he shouts

no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
it's contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it
no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
it's contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it

now i'm growing
let the pistol talk
guarantee it'll make him frozen
i think i'm convincing myself i'm going mental
you may have me if you promise to be gentle
my heart may be dark but i promise you it's fragile
yeah i promise you it's fragile
she was saying she relates
but i don't think you do though
no i don't think you do bro
caught them both off guard
yeah i'm lurking in the shadows
finna put him on a gallow
i just opened up to her
sentimental
basic literature
uneventful
now people think they're gods writing poems
just because u take notes
don't make you a poet
if u ever need help
you know i got your back
cause i been through hell
don't want u to go through that
don't know how u felt
good or were u trashed
continue wasting herself
a girl who is down bad

no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
its contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it
no get back
tunnel vision getting up
i swear i'm close to cardiac
i'm already dead inside
my heart is turning jet black
you don't wanna touch it
it's contagious
permanent
once the point in love if i continue to keep breaking it

you were all i got
so sad you had to leave
i still have your stuff
but i keep it out of reach
baby it was tough
i gave u everything
don't know if it was wrong
but i don't regret a thing
i don't wanna know
how you been lately
cause i already know
you gotta new baby
didn't want u to go
sacrifice for your dreams
lost contact on my phone
u wont hear from me

(so sad u had to leave)
(i keep it out of reach)
(gave u everything)
(i don't regret a thing)
(how u been lately)
(gotta new baby)
(sacrifice for your dreams)
(u wont hear from me)

bittersweet w/ i'm geist

B Murph