Patron battle, from Creepswitch!

Mancha as the Engineer
Adam as Funky Kong
Beat by Kustom

Engineer:
Yee-haw, pardner, I come 2Forts bringin’ danger
Ya’ll be gettin’ no Rescue from this Texas Ranger
Making a fool of yourself with all your barrels of monkeys
Freshen up! Bet they named you after your smell, Funky!
This jungle Jag-off can’t get by takin’ shortcuts
Your brain’s full of shoddy ammo: you’re coconuts!
Got the Eureka Effect affecting lines I dispense here
Since we know Candy’s the one erecting your dispenser

Funky Kong:
It’s time for my Kong-Quest, keep the hat on, chrome dome!
Too many shots misfired with your Turret’s Syndrome
Gyrocopter, I’m fly, an’ my high records keep you floored
Dominating the second I surf in on the scoreboard!
You can barely count to three while I’m ridin’, hang ten!
The saying should go: you’re a mess of a Texan
You’re just a Flame Runner-up, blazing past you is a breeze
Even Blizzard went and left you in a Tropical Freeze!

Battle Bytes

Funky Kong vs Engineer. Battle Bytes #16

Lyrics/Karaoke/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19q8owAtPSf-cUfzuQXFx2SGeSTgUZbTGqS1lri6emBU/edit
MetaMachine as Banjo
Freshy Kanal as Kazooie
Elijah as Popo
Azia as Nana
Written by MetaMachine, Dani Frias, B O R K, Rabi, Jade and Gengo the Cannoli King.
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by AaronGPeters
Beat by Kustom
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Nintendo's Alternate All-Stars"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Bare Your Fangs"

Banjo and Kazooie vs. Ice Climbers

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have the monochrome LCD character against the monochrome LSD character; Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man. Enjoy!

Raichous as Mr. Game & Watch
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Grey Man

Written by Commander Jacob w/ help from Zawesome
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Marsad Men

-LYRICS-

Game & Watch:
Parachute in to win, it’s an icon you’re fighting, man
This Fire man throws bacon, eggs, and fine raps off a frying pan
Been Ball-ing from the start. Where’ve you been? I can’t tell
As an expert, I can say fame’s something you’ve never handheld
This rapping trampoline lander’s smacking you like a 9 hammer
And your win’s a crazier dream than those of all your programmers
Slenderman in a trench coat? He only has one mode: stalk
Mister, watching your game has got me watching my own clock

Grey Man:
A fat-nosed shadow thinks that he's fit for battle? Boy I'll laugh
When I have him tripping and he still tries to fight with oil cans 
Ring your bell for help! I’m Krueger of the PlayStation
Leaving beats and dreams corrupted. Still think it's an emulation?
Here’s the red Flagman; you’ll get slaughtered just from napping
It’s one of your two functions; learn it’s time to stop rapping
I Violently Diss-strict. The pain won’t leave when you wake up.
Even people who play Smash have forgotten you like a brain flush

Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man | Half-Ass Rap Battle #3

Derek Savage:
I’ve heard lies saying you tower over me, which I don’t see
So today I’m going to show our differences, I mean, just look at me:
You’re just an author; I’m an actor, director and a cool guy
Make like a child from a ‘no breathing’ class, just keel over and die
Wouldn’t You Like to Know how your creativity’s gone down the spout?
You were a good presenter, but now your career’s unable to Sprout
I Hate Everything about you, and although I don’t like him, I gotta say
If he reviewed your crappy performances, he’d be giving me praise
This bitch could use some Self-Defense, can’t survive my Second Coming
No wonder the BBC kicked you out, all your work’s dull and boring
You’ve a whole book on sins you’ve committed, your flaws are quite large
I mean, you did want an anti-imperialist Marxist to be in charge

Michael Rosen:
Thought he’d sit there like a lemon, but Derek. What does Derek do?
He spits rhymes showing he’s less of a Cool Guy, more of a Fool
Diss the Milk And Sugar King, and you’ll get more than heat
At least I can go without throwing a fit when people make fun of me
Promoting x-rated work on your own website is far from Christian 
And with all of the illegal stuff you’ve done, you’d fit right in with school prison
Could write an entire poem detailing how Horrible you are
But you’d probably Copyright Strike me before I get the chance
Recycled footage, bad editing, portraying fat people as broke schmucks
Topped off with phoned in performances; to put it bluntly, Your Movies Suck!
No longer taken seriously, even the cameraman’s out shadowing you 
I see you’re looking shaky and sorry, gonna cut out this cameo too?

Cool Cat:
You’re really really mean! Seems some kid still thinks bullying is fun
Everyone should stay away from you like you were a deadly gun

Derek Savage:
You rapped once, so what? That doesn’t make you an emcee
Better call you the toothbrush, cause we’ll break you into pieces

Cool Cat:
Bringing Sweeter Revenge than some muddy twig could ever do (haha!)

Derek Savage:
I’m bad with copyright? You almost took down every YouTube Poop of you!

Cool Cat:
While your new books are flopping, me and my Dad will go to Hollywood

Both:
Now it’s time to ‘close up’ this battle so you can make another Sad Book

Michael Rosen:
(Michael’s Verse, Part 2.)
You and this failed mascot must be having a Crazy Dream
I’d argue Solomon would do better than this infringement on Warner Bros’ property
Once you eat this diss like a sandwich, I shall give you to the ducks!
Might as well make another channel called “iMovie Sucks”
Now your son passed away, and I know the pain of losing a child
But using him as an excuse for stupidity? Now that makes me really wild
Like when you impersonated that law firm, your attempts to win have fallen through
So now I don’t suppose you’ll want to battle me again, will you?

[REDACTED] as Derek Savage
@user-938839005 as Cool Cat
King Mewtwo as Michael Rosen
Beat by Kustom
Written by King Mewtwo and Dani Frias
Mixed by Light
Cover Art by Fightmarker

Michael Rosen vs Derek Savage. King Mewtwo Rap Battles

Baku : DeegleNV
Pizza Time Pizza : Mancha (UBERocity) 
Beat : http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20Party%20Animal.mp3
Beat Prod : Tristan
Written by Kamren, ColeDaDole, GamingPlush64 and Swoldow
Mixed by Dani Frias
Baku art by Rabi
Thumbnail by Paige

Intro :  

Baku :
Bruh I'm deadass hungry right now

[Door opens to the Pizza Time Pizza Establishment]

Pizza Man :
Hello sir, welcome to Pizza Time Pizza! What can I get you today?

Baku :
Ok lemme get that uhhh... BONELESS PIZZA with uhh two liter of Coke.

Pizza Man :
Sure! Do you want the special [unintelligible english] order to go with it?

Baku :
HELL FUCKIN NAH

[Beat starts]

Pizza Man :
Here at Pizza Time Pizza, we're a family, community
Not a dead meme, unworthy, of immunity from our deity
I've heard about your Boneless shtick, and it only left me bored
You look like the kind of clip art to buy clothes at a soup store
Didn't hop on any tracks, but on Hank's Bread, you tried to flow
Now you're here on this channel battling me, I thought you didn't do Promos?
Reminding me of Julian, so like him, you best stay out of my way
I'll be the second person you've met who don't play your type of games
With the stolen face and clothes, I wouldn't call that Fair Use
So what's the point of rapping on a track if you fail at that too?
Even if I take out the B, Aku is still an extra bitch
Since I've fleshed out my story more than anything you've got a Bone-In!

Baku :
This track got limited minutes bruh, wrap this shit up
Damn, I should've know y'all restaurants were always this corrupt 
Look, I ain’t joining your wack ass creepy cult shit bro   
You prolly got actual bones inside of your shit dough

Pizza Man :
Was that all in your vocab? It seems you need my school of education
Cause with those speeding tickets, guess you ran into a little situation!
I’m making bars behind my bars and still making a presence
While Seth ranked you below Tobi, I’d call that a Descension

Baku :
Need to get off my line, bitch. I mean, fucking hell
Your fuckin’ creator couldn’t be bothered to buy your damn URL
Decrypting hidden DMs n shit? I can't communicate with you properly
Because honestly? Y'ain't shit, I've been whooping chefs tryna fuck with me
What are you on about? Youtubers always got you Swept Up
So add my own to exposing inside your mind, I'm your host for now, bruh
And your lore bro? Fuck, and I thought K-Pop was hard to understand... 
But with those missing people? Bruh, where's the fucking cops when you need 'em?
Y'all ended on Halloween, so you ain't got shit, Spooky Pizza Man
When that shit went live, people Bale-d, and now your content’s bland
Man got no loyalty, abandoned followers and ego's Supreme
So fuck you, fuck your food service and your cult, Y E E T

Baku (Boneless Pizza) Vs Pizza Time Pizza - Rap Battle! (ft. DeegleNV & UBERocity)

In the 2nd installment of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, we have classic vs modern. Simple vs difficult. Circle vs Square. We have Pac-Man against the World’s Hardest Game. Enjoy!

Alex the Beast as Pac-Man
Fightmarker as World's Hardest Game
Written by Commander Jacob (w/ additional help from Mr. Tibbs, Zawesome, and Freshy Kanal)
Mixed by Light
Produced by Allen Kass

[NEW VERSION] Pac-Man vs World's Hardest Game | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #2

Freshy Kanal as Doctor Eggman
Adam as Mojo Jojo

Eggman
They’re making me fight this simian? I wanna beat Winston!
But focus on your diction, your bouts of repetition
My series reboots werent as much of a let down
Chim-pansy’s more of a Blossom? That checks out!
Hey Mo-jo, your brain’s ex-posed!
I can see how small it is when I’m up close!
It proves you’re under me in IQ and when I’m through
You’ll just wish for the Sonic Forces to be with you

Mojo Jojo
Mojo will be the victor, the winner will be me!
All those machines yet animals still leave you beat?
The city of Townsville’s all aware of my fame
Half the time I don’t know if I’m calling you the right name
You're playing Chaos Bejeweled while I'm polishing my verses
Flip the script tomake you the one screaming “CURSES!”
Useless twitter announcements? By now I should expect it 
I'm already used to frying eggs like you for breakfast!

Doctor Eggman vs Mojo Jojo. Battle Bytes #29

In celebration of Legend of Korra launching on Netflix, we have released the audio to our newest battle. It's the enemy of the Avatar: Prince Zuko versus the Force's chosen one: Anakin Skywalker. Who will come out on top?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You could've found this battle first by subscribing to our youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0PGvIzEfdvePS-Qd-zShdw 
------------------------------------------------------------
Written By: Eric The Audible, Vladimyr P.
Mixed by: Jacob G.
Sound Effect Design: Jacob G. and Vladimyr P.
Edited by: Eric The Audible
Beat by:  Kustom
------------------------------------------------------------
CAST:
Zuko - Eric The Audible
Anakin - Jacob G.
Darth Vader - Light
--------------------------------------------------------------

Lyrics

Zuko (0:14)
When fighting in the stars, you’ll burn harder than a Sozin sun
When in my element, I’ll roast another chosen one
The product of a prophecy is all you have to thank?
I’m a firebending master, ask your council ‘bout my rank

I’m scorching this, check again who you’re warring with, you took all of the glory when
You were forced into George’s story way more than the midichlorians
Stuck Orbitin’ a hero who captured audience attention 
Got minced, then your forbidden romance became the fandom’s menace

With a prequel so unequal, now your series is extinct
I’m the last dragon when I’m rapping, you’re Jesus meets Jar Jar Binks
I’ve noticed you’ve grown tense ever since I’ve thrown flames
You’re usually so stone faced, so Annie are you okay?

Anakin (0:58)
So this is the heir to the great fire nation?
You’ve got that Iroh flare - bring shame to your entire nation
I’ve got a bad feeling for you, that put me in agony guy
Cause the only tragedy worse than that rapping was your daddy’s last agni kai

*Lightsaber noise*

I shouldn’t strike with anger as a trained Jedi Knight
But keep talking out of line and a trained Jedi might
Your empire is impure, so unbalanced but I’m sure
I’ve fought off a more dark force than a hundred fire Lord’s wars

Only thing more maddening than sand is combating ‘gainst a flashy brat of a padawan 
Would’ve been bygones, then he mentioned qui-gon, now the blue spirit’s fearin’ the blue blade I’ve drawn
Treat your friends the worst, who knows why they even bother
I’d give you what you deserve, but Zuko I am not your father
Zuko (1:41):
Those stormtrooper style disses barely nicked me
Emancipated from slavery just to be bought out by Disney
Your delivery’s so jaded it made even die-hard fans die
You’ll fry like your order, restore honor to your franchise

*Breakdown*

Darth Vader (2:10):
*breathing* You’ll have more than scar tissue
I’m harnessing a darkness even the phoenix king couldnt Mark up to
Your heart was so broken, came last in the throne running
Wanna beat Azula? Then I’ll school you like the Younglings

Combustion on the mic like boom boom, leave you like mai so gloom, doomed
Katara’s in fear, there’s no spirit healing, search your feelings you know it's true
No new hope for return once the Jedi burn in fire
Don’t try fighting back or striking at my new empire

Zuko:
Your new empire? Is that why Palps will strike you down?
I’m shocked to see myself atop the moral high ground
There’s fate in this duel,  I’m sorry to end this challenge
But you can’t redirect this lightning until you restore the balance

Central Rap Battles: Zuko vs. Anakin

Mancha as Taako
Hippie Rat as Guy Fieri / Announcer

It’s time to Sizzle It Up on the quest to find the best Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives! Wash your hands! Preheat your ovens! Rev up those fryers! It’s Taako vs Guy Fieri in...The Rap Battle Zone!

Guy Fieri:
The prophecy said you’d be saved, by the man who’s wreathed in flames,
But this is one Fiery Guy who won’t be doing the same!
I’m a burly sirloin, you’re built like a wet noodle
I advocate the working man, you’re more chaotic neutral.
So here's a Plane of Thought you can season with Worst-erch-ire
Alice Through the Frying Pan; you fell into the fire
Can't even make your namesake, stuck with a d6 of health
Never thought I'd see you calling for Genji to heal yourself!
You went to Garfield, done paid for one case of the Mondays
Won an all-you-can eat plate for the whole Jimmy Buffet!
“The garlic really complements the arsenic,” they said.
And then they graded you a Z, or should I...say zed!

Taako:
Taako’s good out here! I think you’ll enjoy the view
Let me work my magic [beat] Abraca-fuck-you!
You’re barbaric and garish! My Guy, what are you wearing?
You look like Smash Mouth went and gone all Super Saiyan!
It’s tragic, your diss’ll miss, I spit accurate Magic Missiles
But when you erratically spit arrhythmatic, you’ll fizzle
Don’t try to chew me out like you’re snacking on slabs of gristle
It’s apparent on your shirt I turned my clapbacks up to “sizzle”
And so now I debase myself, appearing here amid this meme
Who’s loading up on carbohydrates like a Food Pyramid scheme
Drive-ins, Dives, and Diners?! Ha! I hardly know her!
Oh and, Guy, your Donkey Sauce tastes like Go-Gurt.

Guy Fieri:
The true worth of man are the values that they’re driven by.
I made a great tendie tienda, but you’re the true Chicken Guy!
You may think it's swell to get your Taco Loaded in hell
Bro, you sold your own soul out... Animus Taako Bell!
I would spit it like Minute to Win It, hit it and rip into your tunic
But I should limit this minigame skit before you’re squished by an air conditioning unit.
What’s your “Kiss the Cook” apron to the flame decals I’m rocking on?
For a token gay you’d think you’d get your token in the gashapon

Taako:
Fuck yeah, Guy’s Grocery Gay plays loud and proud, hombre! 
You serve me a plate, I’m rolling constitution saves!
While Taako conjures up a lunch like “I wanna munch!” (Squad!)
Even my Grand Relic is the tastiest of the bunch!
I’d say maybe Ren’s the only being that can outdo me,
But we’ll keep that between You, Me, AND DUPREE!!!
You and I got a date with Death -- like your food, we’re heart stopping!
Taako’s Supreme! Call me sour cream, cuz I’m topping!

The Rap Battle Zone

Taako vs Guy Fieri. The Rap Battle Zone #1

Kiernen King as Monokuma!
Vladimyr P. as Mr. Bear (audio)
John P. as Mr. Bear (video)
Written by Viral, Trakked, TheShimarioBrother, RNG, M&Matt, Cri, SPM1000, and Vlad
Mixed by Light

LYRICS:

(0:11) Monokuma:
You really have the gall to assault your headmaster? Wow!
Ya must have a death wish ‘cause Monokuma's back in town!
You can hardly give a scare bear, so I don’t really care bear,
But stepping to your headmaster is something you wouldn’t dare bear!
I mean, Soup and Spoon? You running out of ideas man?
Your sad excuse for a story is as crappy as your cams!
I want a good fight, not a hand me down Five nights at freddys!
I’ll take down this trashy timid terrible kid touching teddy!
You better dangan-run-pal, I’m firing these quick disses
Then I’ll leave you just like Ryoma, Swimming with the Fishes!
This bear is flowin like the sewers. Despair always wins!
You dug your grave coming here, should have shared it with the kids

Mr Bear:
I've had it with your Theatrics, now you're facin' the classic
Better not change your channel 'cause Caledon's where it's at, kid!
You’re better off giving up, all your raps belong in the Junk yo.
Cause I’m crushing you with words, like what happened to Junko! 
I would cut you but I don’t want your stuffing on my floor! 
Cause just like your spin-off, the lines you spat were a bore!
It's dangerous for you to fight one who’s experienced with flames
It’s funny I get put up against this Edutainment Hunger Games!
You wanna step to a Grizzly? Rethink that thought when you’re crushed to rubbles
I kill kids, you enslave them! And you think your trouble?
You’re an idiot! And I don’t really need to make it vocal!
Since for your 10 year anniversary, you just slapped your games on Mobile.

Monokuma:
(*Laughs*) You call that a verse? Please! There's no way you’re stoppin me.
Since when you’re on the track you’re more powerless then Monomi!
This’ll be your ultimate punishment, since I’m crushing this track.
I’m addicted to despair, while you’re just addicted to crack!
I’ll leave this pedophilic Chuck E Cheese; beat like the kid in episode 23!
Slice you up; turn you to my cuisine, I’ve claimed thousands of lives, you got 16.
Your victory is a bigger mystery than Mukuro Ikusaba.
You know it’s pretty ironic nobody’s eating up your pasta
You better not spill anything, because now the tables have turned! 
Cuz after this, you’re gonna be left like Celeste. Burned.
Your verse was horrible, barely had any cohesive rhymes!
I may have killed you on the mic but now, it's punishment time!

Mr Bear:
(UGGGHHHHHH) The real punishment is the sound of your voice man.
Making everybody’s ears bleed? The pinnacle of annoyance!
With some gas and a match I'll make this burning faster
Then I'll pour out some more shots, just to end this bitchy master
The bars you spit are like your anime, boring and bland
but the pain you’ll feel from my disses are like blades in my hand
You’re pathetic. I’m Satanic. Don’t Panic, and stop your bitchin’
Cause like your entire franchise, your win was merely fiction.

Mr Bear Vs Monokuma - Viral Rap Battles!

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1qwRu6ZbBSI23S6UX_y7b24pC6OxeTit-bKVsnsvZln4/edit
Snakebite126 as Little Mac
Alex M. as Izuku Midoriya
MetaMachine as Doc Louis (cameo)
Written by MetaMachine, Raichous, Kamren the Person, GamingPlush64, FyxFynn and Adam.
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Hollywood Legend Productions
Thumbnail by Rabi
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Self-Reflections"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Mad Science"

Funky Kong vs Engineer. Battle Bytes #16

Battle Bytes | UBERocity