the deep end

it's not so bad w/ not home (prod. caustyk)

featuring @nothomex

i let that shit get the best of me 
now i be rockin on therapy 
i do this shit all so carefully
the weight on my neck is just killin me 
pour down sleeve 
i can't fucking sleep
watch my eyes close
yeah 
this shit like 3d
i like her nose ring 
lil bitch got tagteam
her love like bad dream
i pour my once all alone now
i whip it like green and i lay out
all of my boys trynna hang out 
but i'm just trying to smoke till i black out

It’s weird when I have future in my head 
Because before 21 I see myself dead 
I can’t see any color , how can I not be mad 
I don’t have an expectation for the start of my life only for the end
I can’t see anything I cannot blend 
In between the society , I’m on a deep end 
Will I be able to stand ? 
Find myself in this shitstorm 
Did they already know my end before I was born

Last summer I was more lost than found 
Was left picking up the pieces scattered on the ground
Couldn’t talk couldn’t sleep 
Couldn’t walk couldn’t eat
Lost some pounds I lost some weight 
Now all pants fall from my waiste 
Scars on my wrist tears on my face 
The deepest wounds are the ones you can’t see
I’m the only one who can feel
All the pain they reveal 
I hope I’ll get better this year 
Sometimes I stand still 
I tried i tried i tried i tried 
i cried i cried I cried i cried
I tried i tried i tried i tried 
i cried i cried I cried i cried

dead b4 21 (ft.not home.) prod.nadiak & marlas dreams

https://soundcloud.com/ripkais
https://soundcloud.com/yungaxstn

hopeless

kais - hopeless (ft. yung axstn)

https://soundcloud.com/ripkais
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

lyrics:
u cant tell me how i feel
u dont know my mind u cant tell me if im real
f*cking, laughin, crying u cant tell me if were good right now 
even if im bleedin ima still stick around 

honestly f*ckin tired of this 
sh*t just works out terribly 
problems thrown like snowb*lls 
so cold with it
anxiety 
sinkin in my brain 
got two feet but i still cant stand 
work through my troubles its takin its toll on my mind i cant help if i dont feel alright 
f*ck it ur right
im outta my mind

u cant tell me how i feel
u dont know my mind u cant tell me if im real
f*cking, laughin, crying u cant tell me if were good right now 
even if im bleedin ima still stick around 

u cant tell me how i feel
u dont know my mind u cant tell me if im real
f*cking, laughin, crying u cant tell me if were good right now 
even if im bleedin ima still stick around 

u cant tell me how i feel
u dont know my mind u cant tell me if im real
f*cking, laughin, crying u cant tell me if were good right now 
even if im bleedin ima still stick around

kais - can't tell me

swear on my life

everybody is saying dumb shit all the time
and my body is getting numb every night 
and the pills that i take oh they kill me inside 
but im addicted to em i can't even lie 
everybody is saying dumb shit all the time
and my body is getting numb every night 
and the pills that i take oh they kill me inside 
but im addicted to em i can't even-

walk straight 
be okay 
can't breathe
beat my cheast like an ape 
nobody cares about love nowadays
nobody wants to stay home feel safe
i've been locked in my room for days
can't leave cuz im sick n thats ok
but no1 called me to check on my pain
nobody called me to check on my brain 

breakdown, breakdown, breakdown again
i'm fucked up fucked up fucked up in the head 
i live like every1 else is dead 
i'm done, so done, fucking done with this mess

everybody is saying dumb shit all the time
and my body is getting numb every night 
and the pills that i take oh they kill me inside 
but im addicted to em i can't even-

so as long as im breathing
ill keep on walkin this path
with the souls who deceived me 
but gave me feet to feel the grass
always alone but still with company
spread only love but fight angrily
knowing who watches over me 
i'll always be safe, surely

evrybody's saying dumb shit (hero&emptychest)

produced by jolst
featuring skele 

sendflowrs:

(it’s so frustrating 
the way u say that 
u know what u want
and u still do not want me)

now it’s the winter
and it’s so cold
she told me she always felt safe
wearing my coat 
i’m still a loser 
always alone ): 
and those big brown eyes 
they always freeze up all my bones 
she shows a smile
and says “come home”
i think the day that i die
i’ll finally grow 

i’m still here
and you’re still right there
and you told me 
“shitll never be the same”
you’re a tumour, but i’m clear 
now you’re somebody else’s 
tidal wave 

(skele)

but i’m here 
and you’re there 
washing out blood dried up in ur hair 
baby don’t keep calling me i don’t care 
going out bad 
like so sad
hurting me till i crash
you’re a tumor 
need to cut you out 
but i’m here 
n you’re there 
n you tell me that it’ll be okay 

(skele & sendflowrs)
i don’t care 

(sendflowrs) 

i’m still here
and you’re still right there
and you told me 
“shitll never be the same”
you’re a tumour, but i’m clear 
now you’re somebody else’s 
tidal wave

tumour, pt 2 (w/ skele) (jolst)

by the graves in the dark
*hold my hand*
i cant see, not even spark
on this land, fall apart

i just played you, im not smart
dripping faucets, hear the bark
from the dogs
in the old mans house

nothing's ever worse than getting high
yeah i said it right
laying down
my gaves been settled there
on my house
in my dreams, i just lay there
every night
i swear it comes back, daily and im 
ripped apart!

you could never tell, 
*that i been there*
yeah i hear all of the stories that ur telling them
everyone whos me, knows that im nothing like that
ur garbage human being, and there's no coming back

i just wanted die, good thing you'd never understand
i know i got too close to it, the days were running thin
outt line
really outta time

running through the trees, yeah im running through the breeze
now its set, im crying help!
no one ever talks now
this shi*s like poetry, im just tryna help myself. 

im just tryna walk my way out of this hell
im just tryna make a name to feed myself
the photos never really cut it, its an act im sorry please
dont just cut me off cause im not rich as i seemed
blood all on  my sheets
you name keeps ringing back amongst the graves, i just need to find some peace, oh well

nothing's ever worse than getting high
yeah i said it right
laying down
my gaves been settled there
on my house
in my dreams, i just lay there
every night
i swear it comes back, daily and im 
ripped apart!

you could never tell, 
*that i been there*
yeah i hear all of the stories that ur telling them
everyone whos me, knows that im nothing like that
ur garbage human being, and there's no coming back

grave 2 (prod. AsharpTheOne)

Lyrics:
it never worked out, the way it should
the way we fought, i just thought we never would
i fucking screamed, you fucking cried
you yelled at me, i made you mad like all the time

i did my best and you did too
cant be stable with changing moods
because im up but now youre down
then its reversed you hate my frown

wonder where you are tonight
are you alone or by his side
and they all say just give it time
say im okay but im not fine at all

look insane 'cause im obsessed
im borderline what'd you expect
it ripped a hole out from my chest
it had to be, im second best for life

so what the hell do i do
when everything is fucked
it'll all come together, then fall apart
its just my luck

tell me what i gain
from being this insane

i did my best and you did too
cant be stable with changing moods
because im up but now youre down
then its reversed you hate my frown

wonder where you are tonight
(i cannot say)
are you alone or by his side
(how much im dying inside)
and they all say just give it time
(part of the play)
say im okay but im not fine at all
(i forget my line)

look insane 'cause im obsessed
(i cannot say)
im borderline what'd you expect
(how much im dying inside)
it ripped a hole out from my chest
(part of the play)
it had to be, im second best for life
(i forget my line)

Second Best For Life

Second Best For Life (prod King Theta)

Distant memories
_____________________________________________________________
Lay on an open field at night
Where the stars' our only light
With a kiss she gave me life
Just to burn it all & watch me die
& I coped with the way the smoke made me feel
Made some friends on the way, it felt so real
but The abyss doesn't pick and choose
Push away the closest to me & self abuse

Distant memories I hold
At the time I didn't know
They are worth their weight in gold
My only comfort on this road

How could you know who I am
If I don't even know who I am
How could I set up a plan
If I don't even know where I stand

I will never figure this all out x2
Better to accept it now than pout x2
Nowadays I'm always filled with doubt x2
But life will never have a perfect route x2

Distant memories I hold
At the time I didn't know
They are worth their weight in gold
My only comfort on this road
_____________________________________________________________

Produced & mixed by John Wehmeyer & Weepings
Written by Weepings
Mastered by Weepings
Eternal September | 2023

Distant memories

Over The Edge

Asylum [p. for Izumi]

lyrics:

catching up cause she told me we can speak now
i keep my lights on when i sleep now
i keep my phone on when u go out
cause when i fall asleep ur the one i dream bout

brought a black nikon to the beach house
pull my fleece out when i feel the breeze out
used to freak, now ur too busy to go out
throw my dreams out all i do is sleep now

i had it all planned
we could just fall back
onto the couch look at the moon and just smoke up the whole pack

now its all u said i said
whenever u mad im mad
who got the heart on snapchat
if she hit u up dont call back

catching up cause she told me we can speak now
i keep my lights on when i sleep now
i keep my phone on when u go out
cause when i fall asleep ur the one i dream bout

brought a black nikon to the beach house
pull my fleece out when i feel the breeze out
used to freak, now ur too busy to go out
throw my dreams out all i do is sleep now

ur the one i dream bout (prod. mydepression)

@sewerperson is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. his music changed my mindset on life. and saved my life and I will forever appreciate that. i have finally got a feature with him after 2.5 years of grinding. <3 Dreams Come True I love you Anxiety Gang <3

On All Platforms! 
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/xelfiy/broke-heart-chain

Lyrics:

150 we been flying down the highway
If we crashing we dyin in the wrong lane 
3 am and we hidin in the dark 
Like we haven't been hiding all day 

Broke heart on my me
Broke heart on my chain
Broke heart on my me
Broke heart on my chain
Whole squad wit me 
There is no one to blame

Broke heart on my Tee
Broke heart on my chain
Whole squad wit me 
There is no one to blame

And there's nothing I would change 
But I could use more money in the bank
I been scraping up change 
calling me out cuz they been seeing the fame 
Told my whole fam 
nothing gonna be the same 
Breaking up kinda Broke me up
Every thing changed 

Switchin flows Switchin hoes Switch lanes 
I know I could do better But I loved you
I waited I wanted I cryed
Now I'm running from you 

Jealous of her texts She Said they just friends 
All I see is the sex All I see is the next on you 
Scratches on my neck all i feel is the bruises i am a wreak

I swear you drive high cuz you kinda wanna die 
You family is mess But baby so is mine 
Ion why ion why we keep going threw this like this
Maybe I was hoping we would get threw this
But you just noticed me

I swear you drive high cuz you kinda wanna die 
You family is mess But baby so is mine 
Ion why ion why we keep going threw this like this
Maybe I was hoping we would get threw this
But you never noticed me

never noticed me
breaks my heart in to peices
they falling to the crease of the universe
crystals reborn i guess 

ill find you
from these frozen wastes
baby ill save you
whatever it takes
i hear voices from hell
guide me closer to peril
from the edge of the world
i brought stories to tell
i shed my skin in the moonlight
felt this flesh growing to tight
i put my hands over pink eyes
im allergic to sunlight
maybe one day
we could get along alright
but the cruel world
force my hand into the night
skies of infinite gray
feel this storm from the bay
baby girl its ok
in this cabin were safe
and in the moments i miss you
stalling here in the twilight
i look back in my rear view
and i pray that ur alright

ALL PLATFORMS

Broken Heart Chain (feat. Sewerperson) (Prod. River Beats)

prod. recyclebin

Lyrics: 
i dont really know how to turn this into
positivity...
and between u and me
these songs dont help with anything 

im stuck inside of my own head
yeah these messages will remain unread
cuz i never gave a fuck about what u said
and ima stay right here in my bed

yeah im gonna stay right here
these pills ill keep them near
this blood will rush to my ears
ive felt like this for so many years 
so many nights wishing i would just disappear
yeah wishing i would disappear 
cuz i can never keep anyone near 

empty pill bottle on the night stand
drink the liquor til i cannot stand 
when i die itll be by my own hand

drink drink drink
until im 
free free free
im out of time
beep beep beep 
im not alright 
(not alright)

yeah u know im not okay
i kinda sorta feel like shit every single day 
but hey at least i write some songs to vibe to 
lets turn up the volume
let the feelings engulf u
man i feel so bad 
let me open up this bottle again

(let me open, yeah open)

by my own hand [+recyclebin]

A INDEPENDENT CURATOR, ASSISTING IN THE GROWTH OF SELECTED ARTISTS.

3/4 TRACKS RELEASED "UNCHAINED, VOL. 4"

kais - can't tell me

biteki

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