Follow $lothboi: @slothboipapi
Follow Nicolas Sales: @nicolassales
Prod. Grayskies

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LtUeTlERXQM

Lyrics:

[$LOTHBOI]:

STARING AT THE SKY
LOOKING GOD UP IN HIS EYES
ANGELS ALL AROUND ME
BUT THE DEMONS STAY INSIDE

DANCING WITH THE DEVIL
IN THE CLUB I'M ROLLING DICE
REALIZE
DEVIL STILL AN ANGEL
BEAUTY NEVER DIED

WAY ABOVE MY HEAD B*TCH
I BE DROWNING IN THE SAND
FRAYED STRANDS
HOLDING ME TOGETHER
WISH I HAD A HAND
PLEASE
HEAD UP IN THE SKY
WITH MY MIND HIGHER IT ASCENDS
THE END
I BECAME WHAT IMAGINED I TRANSCEND

LATELY I SEE CREATURES SHIFTING
VOICES IN MY HEAD BEAT
CALL THE ONE THAT SHARES MY MIND
MYSELF IN DIFFERENT MEMORIES

SIPPING WINE I FEEL ALIVE
ASCEND I SHINE IN STARRY SEAS

PALACE SO DIVINE I EXIT
FLASHING LIT THEM LIKE A SCENE


[NICOLAS SALES]:

RUN
RUN AWAY
RUN IN PLACE
I CAN’T RUN AWAY
AND I’M BACK WHERE I STARTED
MUST BE A BETTER WAY
INNOCENCE YOU’RE MIXING IT UP
CONFUSED WITH IGNORANCE
NOW I DON’T KNOW WHERE
ALL MY FEELINGS WENT
WHERE MY FEELINGS WENT
YEAH

[$LOTHBOI]:

WAY ABOVE MY HEAD B*TCH
I BE DROWNING IN THE SAND
FRAYED STRANDS
HOLDING ME TOGETHER
WISH I HAD A HAND
PLEASE
HEAD UP IN THE SKY
WITH MY MIND HIGHER IT ASCENDS
THE END
I BECAME WHAT IMAGINED I TRANSCEND

[NICOLAS SALES]:

SKY FULL OF STARS
LOOKING DOWN
THEY’RE ALREADY DEAD
YOU'RE NOT YOUR JOB OR THE VOICES
YOU HEAR INSIDE YOUR HEAD
YOU DON’T HAVE A NAME
YOU DON’T HAVE A PERSONALITY
YOU'RE JUST THE OBSERVER
TRYING TO SET YOU FREE

[$LOTHBOI & NICOLAS SALES]:

I SAW A LIGHT AND FOLLOWED IT
DO YOU BLAME ME FOR ALL OF IT
I’M SORRY THAT I LEFT WITHOUT A BYE
BUT I BE TIRED OF IT

SIGIL IN THE NIGHT
I ABIDE
CAN YOU GUIDE ME RIGHT
EVERYTHING’S CONNECTED
SO IT MATTERS WHEN THE TIMES RIGHT

THROW ME IN THE FIRE
LET THE EMBERS FLOAT AWAY

LET THE FATES DECIDE
IF I’M GONNA GO OR STAY

BURN INTO THE GROUND
AND FEED THE EARTH A BIT OF PAIN

ALL THAT’S LEFT IS SMOKE AND ASHES
HALLOWED BE THE DAY

I SAW
ANGELS
KILL MY
FRIENDS AND
I SAW
GOD PRETEND
HE CARING

Painted Clouds

$LOTHBOI x NICOLAS SALES - PAINTED CLOUDS

Cheers to my homie https://soundcloud.com/sepha-joey for jumping on <3

Lyrics:

Rivilin:

a foggy bed covers home
how did I get here vision is not clear
lost in a maze of streets alone
all i do is fear, withered inside here

yeah there's a vacancy where i mistakenly 
put the trust in the ones i love
laying a wake with a knife pressed to my skull
as the nightmares take control

stuck on a cheap diet of cigarettes 
just so i can keep the hunger at bay
swear to god that someones living inside these walls, 
cus i know that hes calling me name

i don't feel like i'm making sense
when i talk yeah i just regret
every little sentence that leaves my mouth
cus you always seem to twist the words i say

whether it comes from a family, a father or lover 
or something i don't really care
try to explain what the dissociations is like
but they don't really understand

never can be perfect, yeah i know that
but its hard when you look and stare
filled with the judgment of someone else's problems
till it's more than i can bare

it's just a glitch in my personality
feel the anger lurk in me
boiling burning till the circuits 
in my spine start to collapse

pressure is building, the person on my shoulder
tells me that nothing here is real
guess that's fine, i'll just represses everything
until i cannot feel

i never wanted i never wanted all of this
i'm so disgusted, i'm so disgusted i can't quit
the faces changing, i think i'm lost inside my mind
yeah if i don't wake up soon i'm thinking of taking my life

yeah what's the point man, yeah what's the point when you just run
yeah i'm so pathetic, i couldn't understand im done.
yeah my mind is aching, i think depression has just won
yeah if i don't wake up, i think yeah my chances are gone

Sepha:

Look at you taking a part of me away
Every time u make demands and say
Its for my best u know me 
U have my best interests at heart

Our interests are not my interests
I just want to rediscover myself
Again i lost so much but
At least i wrote it all down to remind me in moments like this

Im running away now go
Not cos im a victim no
Just cos i let myself believe that i was your equal but no

U hide under pretenses
False empowerment perspectives
Everything is someone elses fault ur only using ur defences

Im flying away im
Glowing up glowing up glowing up

Look at u take a part of someone else away

Never Trust Anyone Ft. Sepha

LYRICS:

Didn't wanna get it, didn't wanna face it, yeah, a family’s torn apart
Two kids in the middle I was only 13  when I knew that I was stuck
Swear I was hearing voices coming from the walls, my father freaked out and just stopped
Forced to talk to a psychiatrist who medicated me till I was cut

Tried to understand but I couldn't, Zyprexa just made me fall asleep
What did you expect from a kid who didn't have a stomach just to eat
So I made friends with the stars, they said that I wouldn't get far
But I found comfort in always being alone and trapped in my own

So don't tell me that you’re sorry for what you did
Because you're not, yeah you're not yeah I know that you are not
Cus I don't care, what's done is done I can't forget
Because I'm stuck yeah im stuck in a place with my own thoughts

Am I not real, I realized that I don't fit in
You can't accept, can't accept me for who I wanna be
Im overwhelmed, I'm not comfortable in my skin
This isn't me, isn't me, when will my mind find some sleep

A few years later nothing changes just a kid stuck in a rut
Putting on a facade for family just so they won't bother me a lot
Been twelve years since I was diagnosed with depression thought there was a cure
But the SSRIs numbed me out until I felt like I was worse

I want to explain it but I've realized no one cares for who you care
No one is special, no one is gifted, mental trauma that makes a star 
When there's nothing left I'll probably kill myself to let go of this pain
Cus I'm always tormented by myself when I forget my own name.

So don't tell me that you’re sorry for what you did
Because you're not, yeah you're not yeah I know that you are not
Cus I don't care, what's done is done I can't forget
Because I'm stuck yeah im stuck in a place with my own thoughts

Am I not real, I realized that I don't fit in
You can't accept, can't accept me for who I wanna be
Im overwhelmed, I'm not comfortable in my skin
This isn't me, isn't me, when will my mind find some sleep

Stuck

Running

Walking on a tightrope in the end
Been looking at the way down from the air
It may be time to ease the pain
Broken stride caught in the rain

Just leave me to die
I let my soul weep
Paralyzed that part of me
Blind eyes that can't see
All the shame within
Dark days are too loud
Uneasy right now

Baby will you stay forever 
Dont rip my heart out
Before it's empty 
Cause you're worth more than life
The shattered glass of mine
Reflect a better time

If I don’t do something right
I may disappear
I’ve been lining up the white
Look in the mirror
I couldn’t see my reflection
My course in need of correction
I’ve been hanging by a thread
Don’t look at me unravel
You’ve been running through my head
I’ve been kicking up gravel
To keep up with you
We made it through the summer
Make no sudden moves
No telling what I might do

Just leave me to die
I let my soul weep
Paralyzed that part of me
Blind eyes that can't see
All the shame within
Dark days are too loud
Uneasy right now

Baby will you stay forever 
Dont rip my heart out
Before it's empty 
Cause you're worth more than life
The shattered glass of mine
Reflect a better time

Ad Nauseam ft. RiverKinn (prod. 52Blu)

IDLEGLANCE x Rivilin x Sepha.

Rivilin: @rivilin
Sepha.: @sepha-joey

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/o9d0qB-Efow

Lyrics:

[Voicelines]:

I don't wanna d*e
Or k**l myself
I just wanna disappear
Until I feel okay

[Rivilin]:

You didn't want to understand
That's fair, that's ok
My head just hurts a lot
And every day just ends in constant pain
I met him down underneath
In the dark depths of my dreams
He tells me don't trust a soul
Cause no one is ever as they seem

Too bad it doesn't matter anymore
Glock straight to the temple
Dreams of dying by the door
And you can't get in
Cause my body's in the way
And you're screaming out for help
But nobody turns your way
And lately every night
Is plagued by nightmares
Waking in a sweat
Yeah I know I need some therapy
But I can't get a grip
Cause I can't afford the rent
And I can't afford to eat
Man, I always try my best
But this tastes just like defeat

[SEPHA.]:

Every time that I said I was fine
I was never
I was never
They who interrupt every dream of mine
I’ll flee from them forever
Flee from them forever
Maybe I’ll just look away
Maybe I’ll just quit this
Maybe I’ll just flee forever
Maybe I’ll just flee forever
Maybe I’ll just look away
Maybe I’ll just quit this
Maybe I’ll just flee forever
Maybe I’ll just flee

Nightwalking dark alleys with a shrug
Self critical thoughts like a warm hug
Affirmations crushed like a bug
With a hard shell under your heel
As days get shorter
Feels like time tries to steal
All the comfort that you held onto
And say get real
Here's responsibility laid on a plate
Sorry that it's dry and it has no taste

Every time that I said I was fine
I was never
I was never
They who interrupt every dream of mine
I’ll flee from them forever
Flee from them forever

Maybe I’ll just
Flee from them forever
Maybe I’ll just
Flee from them forever
Maybe I’ll just
Flee from them forever

[Voicelines]:

Sometimes
The only way out
Is to fade away
Leave everything behind
And never look back

Flee Forever

Rivilin x Sepha. - Flee Forever

I dance with the ghost as a child drawn out
screaming in my dreams I doubt
that anyone can hear me now
with a voice that's scraped with a razor, I'm just a stargazer
 
who wanted to reach heights that no one saw,
the thing about that once you fall you’re gone
hang me out with the noose that's made of your lies
meeting you makes me wish I wasn't alive.
 
cus, I don't wanna hear it when it’s just all about you
now you're flicking out your razor saying that you wanna cut through
 
yeah, you're putting pressure on my mind, and it makes me wanna die
yeah, I’m scared of the public, I think I’ll stay inside
cus, I don't wanna hear it when it’s just all about you
 
Wake up, cold feet, get out of bed to yesterday’s static
pass out, don't think, scratched out eyes of the photo that you just
don't want to keep, will I find a place to mend but I just can’t
get on my feet, so I’ll just stay in the house where I am high
 
Hey, that's me, by the tree line of the cul-de-sac where I grew up
hands over ears, don't want to hear an argument from my father
years pass in a blink, still end up crying to my mother
a fuck up, that's me, so what if I take drugs to cope.

Hey, that's me

Lyrics:

I don't have to remember cause it's still my everyday
Living with the same problems that I thought would fade away
Self destruction on my mind
Self esteem is hard to find
Self reflection seems to be my only way of getting by
I ain't even chasing highs, keep my expectations low
As my mind, trying to fight the feelings as they come and go
See the signs of decline but I never let them show
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know 


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know 


Seems to be my affliction has become my addiction 
Been a while since I gave in but my time is still wasted
Contemplating if it really ever solved anything
Or if I was just distracted by the pain that it brings
Ain't ashamed to admit that it remains how I think
But even if I had the choice I wouldn't change anything
I'm still the same as I was, only difference is
I'm in control
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know

2024 eighteenSAINT / Clouded North

All That I Know (Alt Version)

All That I Know

milisa me ton theo (prod. c1ty)

prod. born hero
🖤Sinna🖤
@sinnagacci
☠️https://www.instagram.com/ihatesinna/
🖤pyrrhic🖤
@dearpyrrhic
☠️www.instagram.com/dearpyrrhic/
lyrics:

Loner (Murder/Suicide P.II) (feat. Sinna)

IDLEGLANCE XMAS SPECIAL
EXLUSIVE RELEASE FEATURING: @sepha-joey @rivilin @s0cliche 
❄️
AMV on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iSXB1gO3Ytc
Prod. by Rivilin & SEPHA.

Lyrics:

SEPHA.:
WINTER MORNING SO COLD IT BITES MY FACE
WE’RE WARM BY NIGHT BUT I FEEL LONGING WHEN I WAKE FROM BED
I'M GONNA DRINK AGAIN
SIP WHISKEY WARM BY ICY WINDS
MY MIND STAYING LONGING
SIP WHISKEY WARM BY ICY WINDS
MY MIND STAYING LONGING
 
RIVILIN:
IT'S BEEN A MESSED UP YEAR BETWEEN
IF YOU EVER FALL, EVER FALL, EVER FALL YOU GOT ME
SMILE ON CHRISTMAS EVE
BECAUSE I GOT YOUR BACK, GOT YOUR BACK, GOT YOUR BACK, BELIEVE ME

S0CLICHÉ:
I BEEN SO LOST ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU VACATE
TURN IT TO A LOSS EVERY CHRISTMAS ANY VACA
SHIT I’M ON A ROLL, I’LL PROBABLY SLIP AWAY HEY
MAKE A MILLION MORE
BUT THAT’S PRESSURE ON THE FRAME AY
SIPPIN' SPIRITS FOR MY SOUL SO NUMB
NO I DON’T KNOW WHERE THESE GIFTS COME FROM
I TAKE IT IT’S THE GRACE OF GOD
BUT I DON’T GOTTA FOOL NO ONE
 
RIVILIN:
SCRAPING OFF THE WINDOW WITH A CREDIT CARD YEAH
I DON’T WANNA LEAVE I WANNA STAY INSIDE WITH YOU
IT'S BEEN A MESSED UP YEAR YOU KNOW I'M STILL ALIVE
I HATE MYSELF BUT YOU JUST KEEP THE FIRE BRIGHT WITHIN ME
 
YOU TRY TO CHANGE THE TOPICS BUT IT DOESN’T HELP
YOU’RE TORN BETWEEN MEMORIES OF A FAMILY BURNT IN HELL
SO TELL ME STORIES OF A CHRISTMAS YOU HAD NO ONE ELSE
YOU GOT ME SO STAY, I WON’T LET YOU COLLECT DUST ON THE SHELF
 
SEPHA. END PART:
THE BELLS RING
THE DRUNK MOON ALWAYS SINGS’ A BUNCH OF TIMES
 
RIVILIN:
IT'S BEEN A MESSED UP YEAR BETWEEN
IF YOU EVER FALL, EVER FALL, EVER FALL YOU GOT ME
SMILE ON CHRISTMAS EVE
BECAUSE I GOT YOUR BACK, GOT YOUR BACK, GOT YOUR BACK, BELIEVE ME

All That I Know

NTHN