MrDenisoyd - COCAINE (prod. sadface)

SPOTIFY: https://sptfy.com/6Ao6
SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/cairnmusic
APPLE MUSIC: https://music.apple.com/artist/cairn/1534352747
YOUTUBE: https://youtube.com/iamcairn
INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/iamcairn
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/iamcairn_

Lyrics:
You can call me whatever you want
It'll never save you from yourself
Can't admit anything's your fault
So you live in your own made-up hell

Never willing to see it
Obvious you've been bleeding
Take it out on who didn't cut you
History repeated
Hurt the ones you hold close
Those who need love the most
Projecting all your flaws trying to hide
But it shows

I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling to find your peace
Says more 'bout you than me
When you talk all your shit 'bout me behind my face
I feel bad for you
I can see right through
The facade that you wear to cover up your wounds
I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling

Hate to see that you're stuck in your ways
Unaware of all the damage you cause
You can keep trying to run far away
But you won't ever escape from your flaws

Don't wanna throw you the blame
You probably grew up the same
Neglected through your youth, now you pay forward the pain
I know you do it to cope
But I just want you to know
You could do so much better if you wanted to grow

I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling to find your peace
Says more 'bout you than me
When you talk all your shit 'bout me behind my face
I feel bad for you
I can see right through
The facade that you wear to cover up your wounds

I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling to find your peace
Says more 'bout you than me
When you talk all your shit 'bout me behind my face
I feel bad for you
I can see right through
The facade that you wear to cover up your wounds
I can't take it personally
'Cause I know that you're struggling

Personally

personally

https://soundcloud.com/rivilin

Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNQ77eK9Gf8

Lyrics

Yeah, yeah this doesn't make any sense
So why did you tell me you don't want to see me again
How's does it feel to be you, pushing abusing the ones you love you break
So what does it mean to be me you wanna ask me
The questions you don't wanna see
You're rubbing the back of my hair your screaming so loudly
You don't want to show that you care

You're punching your face in the street
You're hitting the pavement your spitting out bloody teeth
Eager to meet me, don't want to see me, so confused i don't want to see
So what does it mean to me, you never ask you never care
So what does it mean for us, yeah you know i shouldn't ask that

Cus im a skinny piece of shit from the west side, lose sight
From where I wanna be cus im back on the drugs again
I wanna blame you but I know it's my fault
Just to date someone so disgusting

So who am I meant to be, yeah I know
He looks a lot like me
So tell me lucifer is that your reflection in the window
Staring back at me, what do you see

Cus too many people here talk about me
So how does it feel to be the one without a dream
Fuck a 9-5 I wanna be free
Cus too many people wanna talk about me

Fuck you watchu thinking, you ain't know fuck all about me
I work harder than some pussy boys that do it for a bounty
They be bragging bout the money that they sucking dick to see
You a sheep boy, living in the simulation, deep

I am free

Boy I threw away a 6 figure job, twice
Knew I'm giving up a life, still I paid the price
I ain't give a fuck about the money, I'm alive
Create to survive, that's my line, till I fucking die

My ex said that I was a lame-o
Said sloth you a pussy just take those
Blank thoughts while blacking in the shadows
Fuck, thank god I left that hell hole

Drove fast, eyes closed
Count downed, I really didn't know
Thought my life would just stay shit
But know there's light in darkness

Cus too many people here talk about me
So how does it feel to be the one without a dream
Fuck a 9-5 I wanna be free
Cus too many people wanna talk about me

Cus too many people here talk about me
So how does it feel to be the one without a dream
Fuck a 9-5 I wanna be free
Cus too many people wanna talk about me

BURNT IGNITION

Construct

$LOTHBOI x Rivilin - Construct [Music Video ↓]

shout out to https://soundcloud.com/slothboipapi for jumping on this track <3

Yeah, take a step back see the faces under yeah they scream
get my life back from the ones who say they're real to me
feel the train tracks vibrate under as you intervene
get a flashback, realize now that  suicide is free

memories stack, like a knife it slices and I bleed
(I FEEL FREE)
realize now that, the options there if I just want to leave
(FOLLOW ME)
feel my spine crack from the pressure of the stress it creaks
(I FEEL FREE)
flick a match down watch the embers burning at my feet
(FOLLOW ME)

cut up slice down, I don't want to talk now
(DOWN THE HOLE)
change up lose faith in a god who betrayed
(NO, NO)
everything that we tried to be
(ANIMALS)
we're just human yeah why can't you understand
(WE’RE ANIMALS)

how cruel could you be, to give a body to someone so weak
(DOWN IT ALL)
it's not like you to intervene, then why’d you put a curse on me
(FOLD, FOLD)
deteriorate, fatigue, chemistry wasn't your expertise
(MAN THE ZONE)
you lied, then left, guess this father never cared
(BURN IT ALL)
 
is this it is this all I have to show yeah im done
burnt alive in this hell, guess the anguish yeah it won
watch my soul start to leave yeah guess he had enough
I should have left with him I guess we'll say im just shit out of luck

what's the point when the sky it bleeds and starts to take control
lacerations scar my skinny  guess my heart yeah you just stole
hit me up, hit me up, and say that my love was a joke
the emotions in my throat, they start to swell as I just choke
 


Burn the world ash I’m doing god a fucking favor
Watch me self destruct and I’ma send you to your maker
All together now let's walk to hell it's getting cold
Know the devil waiting, keeping on saying, that we gotta go

I ain’t giving up
God ain’t give a fuck
Seen a light

Spoke a lot of words
Nothing in return
Wouldn’t bite

Why the fuck I try
Urging me to fight
For a light

Broken by design
Not a fix
When you redefine

I ain’t giving up
God ain’t give a fuck
Seen a light

Spoke a lot of words
Nothing in return
Wouldn’t bite

Why the fuck I try
Urging me to fight
For a light

Broken by design
Not a fix
When you redefine

I ain’t giving up
God ain’t give a fuck
Seen a light

Spoke a lot of words
Nothing in return
Wouldn’t bite

Why the fuck I try
Urging me to fight
For a light

Broken by design
Not a fix
When you redefine
 
is this it is this all I have to show yeah im done
burnt alive in this hell, guess the anguish yeah it won
watch my soul start to leave yeah guess he had enough
I should have left with him I guess we'll say im just shit out of luck

what's the point when the sky it bleeds and starts to take control
lacerations scar my skinny  guess my heart yeah you just stole
hit me up, hit me up, and say that my love was a joke
the emotions in my throat, they start to swell as I just choke

Lazarus Ft $lothboi

LYRICS:

You know I can't be someone that you depend on
Cus you know when you hit me up I will not answer
The consequences of separation are never easy
And when you’re all alone you hit me up, say that you need me

But I'm sick of that, I don't wanna be used to the grave
Panic attacks hit the stage open up I'm in a state
Dont wanna talk about feelings why can't I be left alone
I'm not coping, I’m not good, I didn't think that it would show

Yeah cus, I didn't want to be someone that you depend on
I didn't want to be the one that didn't answer
You said "Hold your tongue cus I don't want to hear you ever speak,
You just stay inside, haven't had a reply in a week."

"I hope you suffer in the bed that you have made for yourself
Are you happy all alone, in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah I don't care about you, I guess this is goodbye,
Cus I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

You know I couldn't help you when you just suffered
You know I couldn't be something that you wanted
Always getting up at me like I made a mistake
Push us back and then we break, constant fighting, say we’re fake

You wanna reprimand me for times when I didn't understand
Don't want to explain it to me so you give me the backhand
You say that I'm selfish for trying to be someone that just cares
But you run away, ignore me then just give me a blank stare

So what the fuck is up with it, I get it yeah you hate
Everyone who doesn't understand the pain that you create
You say you wanna tear them down in hopes that they never exist
I guess we all just have opinions and to you they don't mean shit

I see, "You suffer in the bed that you made for yourself
Are you happy, all alone in this hell are you content?"
"Yeah you know I care about you, I guess this is goodbye
And I still don't understand the reasons why you wanna die."

Cus I hate you, when you break me, you choose
It was always us two back then I was confused
It's always when I see you falter I slip up to
I see that you are amused by the fact I need you

Cautious

Running

Lost in your pretty eyes
I'd rather hold you in my arms
Lying with the love and scars
That bear the pain
Baby you'll never change 
No one to take it all away 
As I'm turning to a ghost 
And I'm to blame

You say I'm to blame now for all of our problems
 According to you I'm just evil in disguise
Tears in the rain, I got a mind full of sorrow 
Loving is pain
 I gave you my trust
my everything wasn't enough
still high off your drugs
a blurry frame of who I was
a dangerous lust
you're poisonous down to the touch 
Now I'm fading to a ghost, and I'm to blame 

Lost in your pretty eyes
I'd rather hold you in my arms
Lying with the love and scars
That bear the pain
Baby you'll never change 
No one to take it all away 
As I'm turning to a ghost 
And I'm to blame

I've been losing touch with the old you
If we keep losing trust it'll happen again
Better off alone in the bad news
Only time will heal the wounds

Started caving in
And i'm admitting it now
Distant memories are haunting more than doubt
Will it be enough 
All While you're rotting in my head
Like a plague of our regret
Hope I'm the same

lost in your pretty eyes
Don't chase tears waiting on me
Wasting life away
Always because of you
The chains are getting loose

My smile is coming down 
I wanna love you now
Begging to see the sun 
Take me for another round
I need her warm embrace
Before I meet the horizon 
I know only time will heal the wounds

Crown Of Sorrow ft. Luke Mara

STREAM

AGONY

Lyrics:

I don't have to remember cause it's still my everyday
Living with the same problems that I thought would fade away
Self destruction on my mind
Self esteem is hard to find
Self reflection seems to be my only way of getting by
I ain't even chasing highs, keep my expectations low
As my mind, trying to fight the feelings as they come and go
See the signs of decline but I never let them show
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know 


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know 


Seems to be my affliction has become my addiction 
Been a while since I gave in but my time is still wasted
Contemplating if it really ever solved anything
Or if I was just distracted by the pain that it brings
Ain't ashamed to admit that it remains how I think
But even if I had the choice I wouldn't change anything
I'm still the same as I was, only difference is
I'm in control
Cause now it's all that I know
It's all that I know


Tell me what my future holds
If this is becoming all that I know
Help me not to lose my hope
Cause this is becoming all that I know

2024 eighteenSAINT / Clouded North

All That I Know (Alt Version)

All That I Know

Lyrics:

Too much on my mind, I had to learn to keep it out of sight
Soon as I let my guard down, they're asking me if I'm alright
“Yeah I'm fine”, I reply as I fake a smile
From time to time, it's real but in reality it's been a while
Since I had some peace of mind
You wouldn't want a piece of mine
Trying to find solutions for emotions that I can't define
Or should I say I can't recall
Barely feel anything at all
I find I'm always waiting for the fall

It's gonna be alright
Take care 
When it's all too much to bear
Everything you wanted
Don't you know you've got it right there 
Long nights
Nightmares
Life don't fight fair
Look inside my mind
You might not like what you find there

Yeah, yeah
Lost myself one day and I'm still trying to find my way
Try to explain it but I never find the words to say
Searching everyday for ways to take my mind away
From the darkness, now I figure that it's here to stay
But it's okay
Honestly I'm quite acquainted
I learned from my mistakes, it takes its toll when I fake it
Used to think I'd never make it
Now every chance, I take it
If this is the hand I'm dealt then I'll play it

It's gonna be alright
Take care 
When it's all too much to bear
Everything you wanted
Don't you know you've got it right there 
Long nights
Nightmares
Life don't fight fair
Look inside my mind
You might not like what you find there

Alright

I can feel your pulse thumping in the walls
I can hear the silent echo from across the hall
It's in the air and I can feel my body rise and fall
Chills down my spine, poltergeist in my visual

Ghost in the sheets, get no sleep when i think of you
I'm not at peace, let me be or let me be with you
I need some closure, ain't had rest in a week or two
I'm sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room

I'm sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room
I'm sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room
Sleepwalking with the spirit living in my room

Your eyes imprinted, metaphysics stuck inside my head
Impulse, admission, ammunition aimed right at my chest
Your disposition fought the prison you were taught was blessed
You sold your wings to please the beast, your head laid on my bed

You said it's what you wanted
But now it's like I'm haunted 

And now I feel you every time I turn my head
I toss and turn all night, I'm broke inside this empty bed
My dreams of blue, they fade in hue, turn into ruby red
Your apparition in my vision haunts me till I'm dead

Ghost in the sheets, get no sleep when I think of you
I'm not at peace, let me be or let me be with you
I need some closure, can you call me for at least a few
I'm sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room

Sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room
I'm sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room
Sleepwalking with your spirit living in my room
With your spirit living in my room

mixed & mastered by @nicolassales

.you still haunt me.

AMV on Idleglance

sleepwalking (prod. thislandis)

CLOUDED NORTH ☁️
UK Cloud/Emo Rap Artist & Producer

All That I Know

NTHN