produced by ztope and killedmyself
completely non profit

lyrics

ice and mud is giving way
its a waterslide

auburn hair out in the fields
i miss summer time
the ice and mud is giving way
its a water slide
both my feet are swept away
guess its do or die
i just hope she feels the same
hope its u and i 

i guess these circumstances arent exactly normal, i can give u that
faint roads, the pain grows, always clawing at the scabs 
i play a song from my memory
something inside me still struggling
somehow i grip on the muddy reeds
nothing could take it away from me

i found shelter all alone
on a shore in freezing clothes
20 miles barefoot snow

auburn hair out in the fields
i miss summer time
the ice and mud is giving way
its a water slide
both my feet are swept away
guess its do or die
i just hope she feels the same
hope its u and i 

auburn hair out in the fields
i miss summer time

swept away (ztope x killedmyself)

song of the summer meet rock bottom
with my main man @ejcarrmusic
ep in two weeks !!!
enjoy <3

lyrics:
blink your eyes and it’s here
the pit of all the years
immune from any ending
think fast your stories changing
so sort through the jumbled mess
of old times and stale regrets
as long as you get
what all this truly meant

take a breath
and walk those steps
as you fear the depths
of whatever comes next

how am i meant to say goodbye
open my mouth with just one try
to let go of a person
that means more than
i could ever describe
no choice here
disappear
into anything that’s left
anything that’s left in your mind

go ahead

sometimes its on your doorstep
sometimes u take the fall
i took it on the shoulder
i lost myself in it all
and it gets hard to recognize the person that i was
i said goodbye a hundred times and never understood

the reasons beneath us
you’ll never forget how it feels
a sequence of treason
could never bend us to my will
its hard to fight the future
past tense would hardly suit us
how did i say goodbye so many times
and finally let go for good?

how am i meant to say goodbye
open my mouth with just one try
to let go of a person
that means more than
i could ever describe
no choice here
disappear
into anything that’s left
anything that’s left in your mind
its hard to fight the future
past tense would hardly suit us
how did i say goodbye so many times
and finally let go for good
bye
bye
bye
bye

go ahead, say goodbye

go ahead, say goodbye w/ evan carr [immortal]

spotify & apple <3

www.carlbymusic.com
Featuring @lilskeleskrrt
Production, mixing, mastering & additional vocals by @horoshavibes
Additional guitars by @jolst

LYRICS
This is torture
You’re so often on my mind I doubt I cross yours
I can’t help but to fall short
I’m so easily ignored

How can anything compare to what we had back then
It was true love

Not sure I’ll ever love again
‘Cause you were everything I wanted
And the ghost of you still lingers in my room
You left me feeling haunted
Something so profound
Simply does not just die out
So I’ll hold you in these memories
‘Cause they're all that I have now

(skele)
Don’t understand why I’m still holding out
You’ve had enough of me
It hurts that we keep going down
You know that you’re the only thing I think about
You won’t stay here with me
So I'll just do without

Can’t save him
But we know I tried my best
We’re breaking
Taking back things you said
You’re the ghost inside that’s haunting me
But at least you’re still here watching me

Listen on Spotify!

Haunted w/ skele (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

im losing count what number single but its on the @fleshgolem album nonetheless

lyrics

my life is a ticking time bomb
u play the right song
and all of the wires will spark

life’s short then why it feel long?
i’m tryna right wrongs
while surrounded in dark

love myself
i’ve been tryna get to that place
no words said
i would never come out of that place
i don’t know what to say anymore
a thousand notes on my phone that’s jus stored

i wanna get to sleep on time
i been heavyheaded got a lotta stress on my mind
medicating just sleep at all
plenty ppl fall
but i can’t just lose what i used to die for

i don’t check the safety
just vibin lately
the pressure tryna take me
won’t let it change me 
suffer more suffer less, it’s all the same 
had no choice still a voice yelling change

she said can u lov me for the moment
but it don’t mean as much so y’s it so important 
u see thru my lens shit distorted 
why u want me to against the grain again and again
its jus pain, its jus pain, uh its jus pain its jus pain
￼

against the grain

against the grain (flesh x ertu)

lyrics
n im not happy at all
but she gonna keep me from falling apart
im talking to myself but i see a face on the wall
does someone else do my job
n i just cry at a photo
n im just feeling it all at once
i just feel it all too much
look what its done to me
look what youve done for me
look what youve done to me
made me feel better now

n i watch the storm pass clouds fly by i can see u
smiling, shining
look how u did so well
n the day that i go
will be the day that u go
n girl im broken i dont have a purpose
i wrote a song for u
u said that u heard it before
but baby this ones new n i just wrote it tonight
i kno they all sound the same to u
id give a piece of my brain for u
u kno i try to hold u tight when the night comes
kno i feel u in my bones n my weak lungs

u can find me ill be in the underground
n i been working one day they gonna sing the sounds i make for u
bury me inside a grave thats made for two

n i watch the storm pass clouds fly by i can see u
smiling, shining
look how u did so well
n the day that i go
will be the day that u go
n girl im broken i dont have a purpose
i wrote a song for u
u said that u heard it before
but baby this ones new n i just wrote it tonight
i kno they all sound the same to u
id give a piece of my brain for u
u kno i try to hold u tight when the night comes
kno i feel u in my bones n my weak lungs

u be crying laying next to me
while im nodding off
ill be getting money soon
but im not enough
u say that i talk too much
yea i kno that
n even tho the suns shining bright
im still in all black
now u crying u just laying in my lap
i tell u its gonna be okay when i get back
im tryna say i love u i could do without the jab
n life makes me feel better but i know that its a trap

as i watch the storm pass (p. jacob vallen)

produced: tiedforsilver
feat: greenwood 
artwork: my amazing gf <3

lyrics:

( i would give anything to walk by your side again, alone my hands are trembling and i would make the sun drown)

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

(greenwood)

keep you safe, i don't know if i can manage
i whip it fast, sip it slow, its fucking static
guess you were right, never more than just an addict
i compensate, i overdo it fucking manic

all of that in my life though
i just really wanna go home
call you drunk from your friends phone
straight passing out at the dial tone
i don't what this life's worth
guess i don't see what you see (don't know what you mean)
nothing ever came easy when i'm face down in the deep

compensate i never get it right
run it different in my head like just the other night
see the mist and all the people on the other side
i know you're there and i don't even have to wonder

(epitome)

i do not have the time, nor a good alibi 
to explain why, how nothings been going right
i could roll the dice, but that would waste the time
of you and i, no need to try to chance it now

this loneliness as left a frown
on my face, it’s dragging me down
to the ground, now underneath where i can’t even hear a sound

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

i would make the sun drown w/ greenwood (tiedforsilver)

We can never restart…

Check out notcursed she’s amazing <3

Lyrics:

AutumnIsEnding (Lovell)
I said if you won’t say it then I’ll save you the way
I really think we need space I’ll go back to my place 
You can tell my mom that we’re okay 
In truth we’ll never speak again and I can do it til we’re like that 
You know how much you meant to her 
But you’re both crying as your bags packed 
And oh the impact you leave as you turn for the front door 
And take your ass back home 

We can never restart you’ve already gone 
The bags all packed in the back of the cab 
And you’re not looking back 
And my mom wants to catch you up 
But you’re not slowing down and now 
I gotta pick up all of the pieces 
Of my own heart as well as my moms 
Cus she loved for what and you gave us up
Due to stress related reasons 

AutumnIsEnding (madison)
You know how much she adored you 
She treat you like a daughter too 
The downfall of falling in love too soon
And you let your true colours show 
And it wasn’t a pretty sight 
It’s awful uncalled for 
I fell out of love with your pretty eyes 
Goodbye goodbye goodbye 
I hope you find the right one in time 

Notcursed 
I'm sorry that i made a mess of this 
I thought i’d be back
To pick up the pieces i left in your home
Didn’t want it to end like that
But you’re hard to let go of
And i wish i did it better than this 
I know it’s not a lot for you to ask
I regret all my choices 
And now when i look back
I see i hurt more people that that
I thought i was better than this

Ok abandon us w/notcursed (kingtheta)

shoutout to @kennyorlando for helping me finish this <3


[safeatlast:]
so cold
waiting for sum1 to hold
me as i try to get warm
get me away from the snow
at least thats how i used to feel

take me back to winters in toronto
take me back to drowning every minute in the bottle
take me to when i could be proud of myself oh
take me back to feeling sumthin other than the sorrow

AND I MIGHT FALL APART BENEATH THE TREES
THAT OVERLOOK THE SPOT WE USED TO MEET
I PROMISE THAT UR EVERYTHING I NEED
SHOULDA NEVER WORE MY HEART UPON MY SLEEVE

[Kenny Orlando:]
i wish it was easier than following my heart
cause its given me nothing but nightmares and problems
one minute im drowning 
the next second im all in
im sinking 
im falling 
right down to
the bottom
take me back to the time 
where we were doing fine 
both of us 
where the love was 
can you take me back to the city
where everything felt so pretty 
AND I HATE THAT EVERYTHING’S BROKEN
WISH I COULD TAKE BACK 
AND MAKE IT ALL PERFECT 
THE DAYS PASS
ITS KILLING ME 
FILLING ME 
WITH THIS COLD AND DARK HOLLOWNESS

[safeatlast:]
AND I MIGHT FALL APART BENEATH THE TREES
THAT OVERLOOK THE SPOT WE USED TO MEET
I PROMISE THAT UR EVERYTHING I NEED
SHOULDA NEVER WORE MY HEART UPON MY SLEEVE

fall apart

fall apart w/ Kenny Orlando (king theta)

lyrics ⬇️ 

every thing you told me was a lie
you can’t even look me in my eyes no more
once everything I wanted but now I been floor
i been dying from the torch 
i been flying thru the door

miss what we had
everything was perfect 
every night we would laugh
I don’t wanna burn it
cuz I’m honestly attached
god gave me a purpose
and you stabbed me in the back
why’d you do that

brand new mission oh I can't wait to get loaded in
ten more minutes til I'm out there counting dividends
yea
watch me mix it in tell me that there's more to this
before I forfeit, I don't need no more of this
I went to Florida with my family then I told them that
I don't feel much more like family when you give me crap
let me sit up by myself when I'm feeling sad
promise that ill come back i don't mean to make you mad

but never once did you ask me if I’m fine
i been smokin blunts so that I could ease My mind
every night it’s the same
I cant ever go to sleep
all the time try to change
but I never wanna leave

(casperrr)
going dummy at the function  
just so i can fuck shit
nah i can't fuckin function 
with the way u changed so quick
really thought you loved me
but i guess i was mistaken 
they way u kept pushing me back
hiding mthe fact u were taken

used to look up at people
and now most are at my level
all i have left is a house 
that's filled with air and our shadows
you left a hole inside my heart
turned from special to mental
like chaging howl for hollow 
i know it was not accidental

at this point i don't know what family is?
people stop caring about u when u stop being a kid 
i've been alone ever since i was 14 
left to deal with a bunch a shit, i don't know what i did
idk how i made it out
idk what it is
maybe i had more to do
maybe i was born for this
i just hope so cuz otherwise imma quit
life in general cause without music life is boring as shit

forfeit w/ casperrr (tiedforsilver)

produced by ushanka boy
featuring NAVYXOWER (@navyxower)
mixed by navy & epitome
mastered by teddyboi (@yoimn3ver)

lyrics

well…
i don’t know why but it feels like
i’ve been here forever 
been seeing star signs layered through the sky
that lead me back to december

those cold lonely nights
drove me to insanity 
i didn’t put up a fight
for you and that drives me crazy 

what the hell was every supposed to do
i didn’t have a clue
this shit left us confused
but that’s okay we’ll work it out
there’s no need to cry now
wipe your tears, i love the sound
of your voice there’s nothing that

could replace you
you’ve always been the one i choose
there’s nothing left for me to lose
so you have to know these feelings are true

NAVY

baby i could do it better yeah i swear to beup at night i see you walking past my house theres plentyplenty times where i need you in my bed with mewhy is life never really even fair to mebring me back to another timeanother era another life  where i can say i feel alirghttime goes by really fast in the nightand when your with the ones you love the most, time just really flysfly carefullyi pray to god ill see you eventaullyi miss everything you said to mei hate goodbyes theyre not meant for me



well, i don’t know why but it feels like
i’ve been here forever 
been seeing star signs layered through the sky
that lead me back to december

i have someone now w/ NAVYXOWER (ushanka boy)

prod me
guitar by Morgan Cheadle

let me go
this place reminds me of what we once called home
walkin this empty road
the path before mes left me nowhere to go 

everything that i see
and all the air that i breathe could
never even amount to the way we used to be no  

wakin up in your sheets
every day is so exhuasting but
ill do it for you i dont care about me still

its like i never even mattered
put my fist into a mirror just to watch it shatter
every day i eat my life away im only getting fatter
and the soul i left behind is begging me "do somethin about it"
i dont know how  
i dont even know where to start
its like the weight upon my shoulders keeps me off of the charts
its gettin sickening
try to do the things that i love but deep down
theyre only pulling strings away from my heart

let me go
this place reminds me of what we once called home
walkin this empty road
the path before mes left me nowhere to go 

everything that i see
and all the air that i breathe could (let me go)
never even amount to the way we used to be no
(this place reminds me of what we once called home)

wakin up in your sheets
every day is so exhuasting but (walkin this empty road)
ill do it for you i dont care about me still
(the path before mes left me nowhere to go)

chapter II: a reminder of home

Bark, tree sap and everything in between 
FIND YOUR NOSTALGIA HERE 

Heavily inspired by Midwest emo indie with our own twist 

Enjoy <3

Ok abandon us w/notcursed (kingtheta)

AutumnIsEnding

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