lyrics

I hope u been well
i hope u eat well
I think I got myself addicted 
to that tree smell
I know u mean well
But I don't need help
I find myself inside this drink
I feel my heart swell 

I'm back on my shit back on the drink
Turn up these cups while I'm lighting up blunts
And I'm all in my job all with the gang
No need to rob either way we get paid
It's something do, blow smoke till I'm blue
And if I've got this time then I'll spend it with u
It's all the time now
i spend it with all the lights out

back on my own i been ready to go
life in the gutter’ll make u miss home
i know i need u
but honey i’ll never admit to
memory shorter whenever i smoke
this isnt healthy oh baby i know
i cant ever leave u
but you’ll probably tell me i need to

but i dont wanna wanna
i been tryin rly hard
n i dont wanna wanna
its gettin harder every day
n i dont wanna wanna
yea u can ask if im ok
i hope im gna b
thats what i wanna b

lover lover
uve always had a knack for placing blame on
others 
others those eyes are shining and shes quite the up and comer
comer
why she always tryna fight its such a bother
bother
placing faith in others

i hope u eat well ft. decks (jolst)

produced by killedmyself

completely non profit

here's a little thing I made, might put it on an ep, might not 

lyrics

how many times can I write about the same old thing
about summer, spring, 'bout wedding rings and better things 
about a teenage vow in a parking lot
screaming fall out boy until our lungs gave out
its time I close my eyes now

just for tonight, I think that's alright 
see the ghost of u has lingered for a while
and I think ive earned some rest

do u think that's fair?

do u think that's fair (killedmyself)

don’t cry
it’s okay
she lies
to me 
i’m done, just trash
u threw away 
i’m lost 
at shore
a castaway 
i’m fine, with that 
if you just stay 

and i know we only talk when i’m smokin propane yea 
u gon make me go back to my old ways 
i wasn’t so shallow back in the old days yea
she only wanna talk when she off the cocaine 
people love to say my name but they won’t show face
i’m way past caring bout u 
broke the curse i’m okay 
i don’t show emotion got a poker face baby
i don’t think i’ll feel again but it’s ok 

i don’t wanna talk to you
what the fuck are we gon talk about 
cus every time i try it doesn’t leave my mouth 
i’m drowning here my love 
help me out 

and i know we only talk when i’m smokin propane yea 
u gon make me go back to my old ways 
i wasn’t so shallow back in the old days yea
she only wanna talk when she off the cocaine 
people love to say my name but they won’t show face
i’m way past caring bout u 
broke the curse i’m okay 
i don’t show emotion got a poker face baby
i don’t think i’ll feel again but it’s ok 

i beg 
i plead
but they 
just leave 
you usually keep the spirits away when ur round me but
ever since u left my love 
think they found me

poker/face (taurs + homesick)

[+ Tosha]

1st - @user-411557229 
2nd - @northshoremusic 
3rd - @emptychest 
4th - @torvamia 
5th - @strivemusicau 
6th - @caspywaspy 
7th - @soulfadexo 
8th - @x1fern 
9th - @noxious-nights 
10th - @navyxower 
11th - @shizukesaaa 
12th - @hoeplessboy

Holding Onto Something [+ Tosha x Kev]

i try to be someone im not and
it feels wrong but im locked in
im just noxious on the rocks and
ill keep saying im doing fine

i cant even think
lights are on, i cant sleep
hiding under my sheets
to get away from my dreams
x2

dont get overwhelmed
dont feel what you felt
your faculties are breaking down
and you dont know how to help
yourself, yourself get out 
youre old, youre stuck in the route you made
i play games that no ones heard about
cant invite me to a public lobby 
cause i get scared and i dont talk for hours
i dont know how you talk so easily
fuck
thats all i can say
ive ran out of pain
i guess thats good for me
(pain)

i was the most popular ive ever been
when i was sad as fuck 
and i didnt know how to fucking vent
but now ive learned how to live 
and i grew up a little bit
so get out of my mind if youre not gonna profit it
yh.

i (prod. caves x wisssery)

Produced by Carlby
Guitar by @93FEETOFSMOKE
Vocals mixed by @decksmusic
Mastered by Michael Venia @veniamastering

LYRICS
I've seen my future and it's not looking great
I fear fate's something that can't be escaped
Two options staring me dead in the face
I can no longer afford to look away

If not now
Then it'll be too late
By the time I get around to getting straight
But if I stick to my guns
Put myself first for once
Then maybe I can shed this dead weight

It's deadly
It's weighing heavily on me
But it doesn't have to be this way
In my effort to get better
I've learned a lot about insanity

Listen on Spotify!

Stick To My Guns (Prod. w/ 93FEETOFSMOKE)

w1th0ut 4 tr4c3
v13wf1nd3r
==============
@jolst & @toobears
ft. @fantasycamp
art: @ejcarrmusic
ep soon...
==============
lyrics:

(decks)
i cannot try
i cannot fight for u
baby in all my life
nothing was right before u
u know i miss it
nothing is given
not gonna push my luck
but i'm here when u need it

i see flaws, nothing lost
not worth losing sleep
a hundred calls, in the fall
what it meant to me
i just reminisce on you all the time
i cycle thru all the views, i can’t find her
i’m the viewfinder

trail of tears where i lay
set to rinse and decay
i confess what i say isn't real
my image is homemade
but baby, we’re falling out
i can’t say how
lets live for now
i'm trying to see this out
i won’t look now
we’re upside down

i don't know how i got here
one step too far ur gone
i wish i had an answer

i cannot try
i cannot fight for u
baby in all my life
nothing was right before u
u know i miss it
nothing is given
not gonna push my luck
but i'm here when u need it

i see flaws, nothing lost
not worth losing sleep
a hundred calls, in the fall
what it meant to me
i just reminisce on you all the time
i cycle thru all the views, i can’t find her
i’m the viewfinder

(fantasy camp)
i'm looking out
but i can't seem to find you wherever i go
where are you now?
been a wreck since the night that you left me alone
so where you at? come and stay by my side
i won't forget all the nights that you cried
but you're the one that i need and can't find
now i'm falling behind
so can you save me? be my baby
goin crazy without you lately
maybe i'll just hit your phone and try to remind you
wherever i go, I can't find you

without a trace

viewfinder (ft. fantasy camp) [jolst x toobears]

spotify & apple music!

i'll make this my own if it kills me

credits:
@jolst
@toobears
@punkworldthreat
@x1fern
@fantasycamp
@ejcarrmusic

lyrics:
autumn skies, sober lies, where the time gone
i want u in my life while i can love
i still try all the time to get off of
all the shit that i had ‘fore i lost ya
i know im in despair, subtle from over there
i’ll get outta ur hair, know i leave u impaired
all the time, u and i, know its all love
i still repair what i can cuz i gotta

i forget to eat but know im doin fine on my own
terms are settled and im spending all this time all alone
i been free, in the trees, hope ur proud of me
know it aint perfect but this life is moving hourly
send me condolences, its just sobering
i cant move forward with all this pulling
my life isnt backwards but im losing track of
the days in the month, i can’t handle a rut like this

entirely
up to what i can see
i’ll make this my own
if it kills me

autumn skies, sober lies, where the time gone
i want u in my life while i can love
i still try all the time to get off of
all the shit that i had ‘fore i lost ya
i know im in despair, subtle from over there
i’ll get outta ur hair, know i leave u impaired
all the time, u and i, know its all love
i still repair what i can cuz i gotta

last week took the shit outta me
i gotta go 2 times just to cover the fee
i cannot handle 2 lives, yet thats what i lead
i need to calm down what the fuck has got into me

i need to slow down, slow down
le-le-lemonade gonna make me slow down
i cannot pretend i aint on my own now
know that its okay i can do alone now

spotify & apple

entirely [jolst x punk]

i'll make this my own if it kills me

credits:
@jolst
@toobears
@punkworldthreat
@x1fern
@fantasycamp
@ejcarrmusic

lyrics:
I can't win 'em all
I'm on fuck 'em all
I won't take the fall
If i did no wrong
I don't know what to say
People want me gone
I can't live my life this way
I had to change up

I can't spell it out
Where I'm from, where I'll go
I know I've been trying hard
Getting out of my home
It's a cycle that repeats
I ain't getting any sleep
I'm so tired of the cold
Wear the willow when it weeps

I could cry, but the tears all dried up
Baby what's your sign? I got trouble keeping up
And I'll always take the drive, I don't wanna fly up
Monaco my thighs and the chain is grape tucked

I want it all on me
Winter, fall on me
In the sky, turning blind
Keep it tall on me
I'm alright, no I'm fine
You can call on me
My disguise, in your eyes
Nothing altering

Nothing altering
Catch me when I'm faltering
I wanna be something so badly you know that I'm trying, you know that I'm offering
But you see through me
Purple with the bruising
Keep it in my cup
'Cause it's the only thing that's soothing

I've been like done, I've been like fuck 'em all
I'm never having much luck with y'all
I was just trying to show some love
But I'm left here in the dust
Cold like the winter
And I don't want to hinder
So I've been fading slowly
Wonder why I'm so bitter

I can't win 'em all
I'm on fuck 'em all
I won't take the fall
If i did no wrong
I don't know what to say
People want me gone
I can't live my life this way
I had to change up

I can't spell it out
Where I'm from, where I'll go
I know I've been trying hard
Getting out of my home
It's a cycle that repeats
I ain't getting any sleep
I'm so tired of the cold
Wear the willow when it weeps

tearduct (ft. 1fern) [jolst x punk]

prod. project luna (s/o them<33 amazing prod)

i know baby and its killing me
i know maybe it was make believe
run, so cold in these maple leaves
one day, saying know you wanna leave
drive slow, baby where u taking me
die so, bleed thru me fatally
sidenote memories be haunting me
eyes closed, i cant even go to sleep

drive slow, driving for eternity 
die so, taking time to try n breathe
sidenote, no sleep n  im goin geek
eyes closed, all i see is u n me 

craving for sum remedy 
or something to help w helping me
listen to the melody im 
really about to take my leave
speaking with all the honesty 
nothing could really fw me 
more than seeing you
breaking what's left inside of this shell of me

this life it was forced upon me
just know that i didn’t ask for any of this
the candle light burns dim and slowly
now i must go
before i start to fall to pieces

i know baby and its killing me
i know maybe it was make believe
run, so cold in these maple leaves
one day, saying know you wanna leave
drive slow, baby where u taking me
die so, bleed thru me fatally
sidenote memories be haunting me
eyes closed, i cant even go to sleep

let me rot away.~

follow spotify!

the haunting (ft. casperrr & epitomeoffailure)

old asf thing from the vault w/ @torvamia <3 

luv yall thank you so fkn much for the support lately. shit gives my life meaning

dnt wake up ft. torvamia (methboiswag)

with the life i’m given, i’m healing.

@lovelessgroup
@butaneband

entirely [jolst x punk]

decks

Recent comments

soz

leftunconscious

AutumnIsEnding

Greenwood

Related tracks