emotional disaster with
https://soundcloud.com/justinparks1 & https://soundcloud.com/recyclexbin

Out On All Platforms :)

Spotify <3

emotional disaster w/ jstnprks (prod. by recycleBin)

produced by @jolst and @sainttomorrow <3
out now on youtube through biteki & static:
https://youtu.be/DWpNablizm0
https://youtu.be/nEK_a4oFms8

music video:
https://youtu.be/95Kayd1Rpiw

hope u enjoy :)

lyrics:
i let my soul drift away just to feel something again
i sold my conscience for free, nothing to see but a man without his skin

cuz im nothing like him
you’re not the person i remember
i’ll just disappear into the trees
like i did back in december
my voice is cracking as i talk,
on the phone, i watch the clock
why won’t time just ever stop
why wasn’t i enough?
enter the forest, forget life,
i’ve done this shit for the last time. 

plenty people consider hitting my phone again
i don’t mind but i’d rather just be alone again
findin peace in my soul life ain’t that innocent
if i wanted em to be, things would be different
quiet nights in my attic, now the static is loud
i just wanna see my dad again and make him proud
tired of the recycled life i’m bottling up
smoked a little bit too much and now i’m throwing up

whats in the water, i wonder...
sink to the river, discover
see my reflection in ripples
i think i need you a little
more than i’d admit
i find it hard to reminisce
feel my stomach start to twist
and now i’m back with those i miss
woahhh

cuz im nothing like him
you’re not the person i remember
i’ll just disappear into the trees
like i did back in december
my voice is cracking as i talk,
on the phone, i watch the clock
why won’t time just ever stop
why wasn’t i enough?
enter the forest, forget life,
i’ve done this shit for the last time. 

enter the forest, forget life
i’ve done this shit for the last time x2

enter the forest, forget life

enter the forest, forget life [p. jolst x saint tomorrow]

spotify!

enter the forest, forget life [jolst x saint tomorrow]

Tell me 'bout your life, 
We can talk forever, 
do it every other night,
counting down the days til I can finally call you mine,
and tell you I love you, this song writes in virtue.

And like a bird I can leave after dawn,
she sings along to the words of my songs.
I feel my heart getting heavy, no one around me.
This song writes in virtue.

(I don't wanna live another lie, I've been crying every single night.)

Virtue (acoustic) (prod. venus)

je te tieandrai dans mon coeur jusqu'à ce que je puisse te tenir dans mes bras.

lyrics:

shiki
I see why you left, this is awful
I don't wanna die anymore, I just want you
Kiss me while I'm dying inside of this bottle
Fall in love with strangers, now my heart is a hostel

Left my love on the east coast
But I don't wanna be alone, I don't wanna be alone, no
And you can text me good morning, but we're in different time zones
And I know that you don't care like I do
I'll find another one just like you
I'll find a new one, call her your name
Black my eyes and paint my face a new shade of grey
I ran away, in East LA where none of my love can get in the way
And baby, I don't think that you could save me
But thank you for trying

I hope you don't know it's about you when you hear this
But I knew you'd listen, only reason I wrote this
And I would bleed for you if I thought you would notice

I'm too scared to dream since I saw you
I told you I would move to New York and write a novel
But I'm still in my mom's house
The one that you warned me about
The one you said was haunted
I'm nauseous, I can't stop heaving
Who would want this? I'm still bleeding
Hide my ribs like, yeah I'm eating
Come save me, this room is freezing

skele:
I know why you left, this is terrible
As I was writing this, I wanted to let you know
It's getting really hard to let you go
I wanted five more minutes baby, just so I could hear you talk
Cuz everything I knew just fucking fell apart
You never really cared, you just played the part
And now you're gone, it's all my fault

hostel w/ skele (love,matt x chris marek)

ur flowers are dying w/ sideview drive [wisssery/jolst]

@sorrow_bringer 🖤
mixed & mastered by me 💛
[Audio Sample from King's Game]
~~lyrics~~
it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
sugar in the spice
fuck i'm outta luck

it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
everybody want a chance 
but they stay fucking up
ion wanna talk
think i've had enough
i'm staring at the knife 
like it wants in my gut

sugar in the spice
fuck i'm outta luck
but i never went in 
cause it wouldn't be enough
colder than the night
wonder if your touch
feels a saint from above throwing up
from above throwing up

hoping i heal, but i'm proof of the damage
everyone i kill's either hungry or manic
refuse any pills that i'm offered, then panic
if i'm really real, would you feel if i vanish?
let's trace back to the start
i ain't got no time here to waste on my heart
if i wanted peace, i believe i would be "anybody"
can't feel defeat when i'm coated in honey

permanently flawed; let me get my head straight
living at the cost; on the brink of being dead weight
no headspace, just silence.
what do you expect when the sky's blaring sirens?
but i knew the consequences all along
i used too much strength tryna grow stronger
the rapture, and endless disaster

take me by the head 
(okay)
leave no evidence 
(nor trace)

the moon is turning red
the air is so condensed 
simple lives and foolish lies
i raise a knife up to my eye
if one should seek, then one shall find
but what if i've already died?

it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
everybody want a chance 
but they stay fucking up
ion wanna talk
think i've had enough
i'm staring at the knife
like it wants in my gut

sugar in the spice
fuck i'm outta luck
but i never went in 
cause it wouldn't be enough
colder than the night
wonder if your touch
feels a saint from above throwing up
from above throwing up

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬...
𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦?
𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦... 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦,
𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
everybody want a chance 
but they stay fucking up
ion wanna talk
think i've had enough
i'm staring at the knife 
like it wants in my gut
like it wants in my gut...

sugar in the spice (sorrow bringer)

go support the boys:
@skrxwd
@unz3n 

thank u for listening <3

so, i guess this is goodbye. w/ skrwd & unz3n (nothempts)

prod. caves

i've been stalking you
can i be somebody new?
waiting on a text from you
but you would never get it thru your head
and my head, 
is killing me right now
while you were chilling with your friends
and you'd never fuck around
who do i trust?
probably you, but
i dont love
no 
not since kyra, and
not since kai
not since the boy across the world
world
the first one was a test run
and the second one he wanted none
if you want me you should've kept me
and i dont know why i didnt respond to you
and now i feel fucked up
i think i fucked up.
fucked up
fucked up
fucked up
fucked up

if not, then rot.

just a vent, very drunk rn 
shoutout my brother @jolst on the production



tell me baby does he write you songs? 
blood all on my pillow when i wake up shit is wrong
i been takin 30’s got me itchin i can’t stop 
every time i think i got a hit it start to flop
i wish that i never saw those numbers from the start 
try not to let it bug me but i can’t lie it hurt my heart
i spill my soul on the mic n go smoke a dart 
shoutout to big veins we just alike in that regard 

everybody write bout doin drugs, it’s ok
but u ain’t ever threw up in ur sleep it burn ur lungs
i been sippin lean for 4 days babe im havin fun, ay
feel my heart beatin in my chest i’m dying young
and words are powerful theyll kill u like a gun 
watch the shit u speak cus ur whole life it becomes
people love to talk their shit but watch em when i run
when i fly to USA im landin with a punch 

i got G.E.R.D
regurgitation ): 
might pop a 40
and float away and
can’t stand you phonies
so go away yea
got good friends round me
but they won’t stay, yea 
and i’m used to that 
always been the same 
since a small boy i been
always filled with hate 
but i love my momma 
and i love my dad :)
and i’m thankful daily
for the shit i have 

maybe life is okay
maybe it’s not that bad 
i got someone who loves me
can’t argue with that <3 
i still get so fucked up
til i can’t call a cab 
i been tryna love myself 
but i don’t love me back 
i still wake everyday 
with shit on my shoulders i’m a heavyweight
get away
from all the negative things i always say 
fill the page
with shit i would think but i would never say
care+ in my drink 
but i been tryna get in better shape 

i can’t even think yea 
baby i’m just sitting here recording with a drink yea 
shoutout to the gang 
that’s double L all on my krink yeah 
shoutout to the goat jolst 
can’t wait till we link yeah <3 (love u bro) 

n i still wear a hoodie 
even when it’s hot
pull it over my face
so u can’t see me rot
baby take your hood down
girl i’m self conscious
everybody talkin money $$$
don’t know what a job is 

i guess this is what they call 
a r- release 
i just love you all so much 
that i can’t even speak
i feel fuckin worthless
but you’re all helping me
this one for the soundcloud
ima go to sleep … 

(love u all bro i get a lil soppy when i am drunk sorry )

maybe its not that bad (jolst)

<3 

tilting over like the pictures on your wall
i didnt wanna meet your mom and dad they didnt like me at all
somehow they liked me oh
down the line its you and me now that dont get along and
somethings arent always better than nothing
your love is like the ocean and i just wanna jump in
relationships and me they hardly ever work
im tryna keep my balance i just keep slipping first

so is it annoying i keep falling
no i dont wanna say goodbye
and it keeps slipping in my conscious
youre better off not being alive
oh im disgusted
i wanna end it all and watch the world turn to dust bitch
im tired of seeing everybody get what they want 
when i cant get what i need
im on the fucking edge of everything i just wanna leave

oh oh oh
so is it important to you cause god knows this shits important to me
and i lost every part of me trynna be what they want me to be
theres a war inside my head lately i just want peace
so is it annoying i keep falling cant stand on my two damn feet
i tried a thousand of times im at a thousand and one
i wanna blow my fucking brains but i dont own a gun
none of this is fun

so is it annoying i keep falling
no i dont wanna say goodbye
and it keeps slipping in my conscious
youre better off not being alive
oh im disgusted
i wanna end it all and watch the world turn to dust bitch
im tired of seeing everybody get what they want 
when i cant get what i need
im on the fucking edge of everything i just wanna leave

<3

disgusted with myself

spotify

DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF [p. king theta]

produced by sk8miles
completely non profit
lyrics:

shawty hit me with that vac seal
no gorilla grip
she go on to talk dick sand 
and how im pussy whipped 
glad u can agree that u and i
are a perfect fit 
if we talk about the premise, 
u and i, i guess we're caving in 

caving in 
seems that all i do is fuel some version of the pain im in
glad u getting me n what i've learnt from eating pavement
said the monster looking back on everything he did
i need my medicine 

my feet lost the ground 
i am still not found
I'ma hack at this ounce
blow smoke down and make clouds 
my feet lost the ground
i am still not found
I'ma hack at this ounce 
blow smoke down and make clouds 

so we dress up
and we pub crawl
eatin on her ___
'til i get lockjaw
u gotta love me for the way i am
swear the more the that she could hurt me;
only make me more attached 
blowing smoke into a fan
while she's sleeping in my bed around like 2am
i just crack my beer n touch the cieling crush n toss the can 
lucky im all out of barz cus knowing me id take the chance bro

my bad, love u
that's a lot of vodka for someone 5 foot
hard world. pull thru.
no one gives a fuck and that's a hard truth
but you make me feel alright
better at least than most nights 
it's complex the state of my mind
but she just says to shut up 
and get the knife
 

ur flowers are dying w/ sideview drive [wisssery/jolst]

nevermadeithome

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