I really want a family with someone :’(

much love to @kaiyko <3
art by both of us (flower pic by love-abia on tumblr)

[demxntia & kaiyko]
you're the flower that I saw that day
I miss the way you comfort me 
I lost my sense of feeling love
the day you walked away from me

[kaiyko]

The other day, I swear that I saw your face, 
hidden in the crowd like a ghost that just fades away
I promise I wanted to see you next spring time
But by the time you come around I wont be the same girl I am 
now you start to disappear, can't help myself but drown in fear
I'm counting all our days spent together 
and I wish good times could last forever and
this is all the time we have, and I know our goodbye is shattered
but you'll be in my heart till the end of forever because...

[demxntia & kaiyko]

you're the flower that I saw that day
I miss the way you comfort me 
I lost my sense of feeling love
the day you walked away from me

[demxntia]

waking up alone I feel like part of me is missing 
flipping through the photos of the memories we shared 
and I swear that I remember all the days we spent together 
but I ruin all the things that I hold close to me 
now I'm regretting every thing we never did I can't face it
the thought of you alone breaks my heart and I hate it 
but I hope that the sound of my voice is enough 
to reach the one that I'll always love

[demxntia & kaiyko]

you're the flower that I saw that day
I miss the way you comfort me 
I lost my sense of feeling love
the day you walked away from me

When the sun sets I'll try to remember 
the things you that you promised when we were together
I'll dry all your tears if it means that you'll stay
I'll find you again and again till this pain fades away

the day you walked away

spotify, apple, etc.

the day you walked away w/ kaiyko

thank you for 6K. glad to finally work with one of my best friends in the scene @ihateshinigami

i never asked 
for the cards 
i been dealt with
and i still
don't know
where my mind is
feel like
my happiness and i
have part ways
feel my eyes
growin heavy
on my pale face

and all i ever
wanna be is enough for you
but i never get close
no matter what i do, and
everybody is sayin
i should relax
but the stress is 
piling up as time elapse

and i swear it never gets better
i been sleepin less and less
this shit is lasting forever
but i try my fucking best
i got too much on my plate
i'm sorry i'm far away
i promise i don't mean to be
but this ain't easy to say

so don't go away from me
i just need a little bit more time
don't go away from sme
i just need a little bit more time

when it's said and done 
i hope that i'm enough
for the ones i love
but it's getting tough
so just bear with me
you're the one i need
i've been losing sight
got no room to breath


[shinigami]

w/ my eyes wide open
i see clearly now
stretch my hands
let fate fall into place

up and down i been falling
cold wind calling my name
i'm not the same as i once was

i'll take you away
to a world that is glistening
where everything's fine
have you even been listening?
i'm falling apart
you knew this from the start
lay your head in my arms
we'll never be apart

losing sight w/ shinigami

A new song to celebrate the upcoming holiday. <3
prod @l1lbiscuit
art by @ maepetals (insta)

lyrics:

See my girl in my head while I lay in my bed
When I'm up so late and I can't think straight
But my minds on overdrive, I see her in my mind

(oh hey, oh hi, oh hey, oh hi, hello)

And I tell her she's the one
Cause my baby so fun
Cause my babygirl fine
And she hotter than the sun
She prolly double a dime
Without a reason I rhyme
My speech impediment died
While looking into her eyes
I wonder if I'll survive
Loving her gets me high
I kiss and I wet her thighs
I never did realize
She tasty like apple pie
She the apple of my eye

Girl even with your clothes on
I can see your soul I'm
Addicted to your glow
I think we're compatible
Let me check my horoscope
Baby swear it's not a joke

See my girl in my head while I lay in my bed
When I'm up so late and I can't think straight
But my minds on overdrive, I see her in my mind

(god damn god damn, uh yuh, god damn god damn)

Won't you be my valentine, babygirl won't you be mine?
Cupid got me lookin' stupid, girls out here are really ruthless
(2x)

You could be my everything, I think that we could be a thing

See my girl in my head while I lay in my bed
When I'm up so late and I can't think straight
But my minds on overdrive, I see her in my mind

Valentine

Valentine [Prod. Lil Biscuit]

another ceiling i don't recognize
another feeling and i'm petrified
i've been flying out just to stay inside
i never listen to my own advice, no

what the hell have i been doing?
makin up excuses, i don't wanna do this
so what the hell have i been doing?
i been stuck inside a room with
way too much to lose

but it's worse at night
something's gotta give
i don't wanna die but
i don't wanna live
it gets worse at night
something's gotta give
i don't wanna die but
i don't wanna live

tryna be strong is my weakness
what's a life with no meaning?
help me get rid of this feeling
i'm not alive i'm just breathing

no, oh
don't go
no, oh
i'm alone

something's gotta give

OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO HERE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbnrnTJpvB0

shoutouts 2 @kaiyko as always!!

let me have a minute to get
my head on straight
i really haven’t been myself
for almost 28 days and i think
what a bummer could November really be?
i think there’s something that my eyes can’t see
cuz lately i’ve been getting so upset
with almost everything 

i don’t wanna be a villain
in this story of mine (neither do you)
i don’t wanna be a perfect person
that’s just a lie
but you keep taking all the words that
keep falling out my mouth
i don’t think you see what my
problem is even all about

oh, what a lie 
that we live
it’s alright to be 
alone sometimes
what a life 
that we’re given
it’s alright to to be 
alone sometimes

efforts wasted
and so am i tonight
feelings faded
like everything in my life
different faces
i’d rather stay inside
been gone for ages
so why’d you stay tonight?

i don’t wanna miss you
i don’t wanna need you
i don’t wanna feel like
i’m nothing without you
i don’t wanna miss you
i don’t wanna need you
i just can’t pretend
that i’m perfect without you

oh, what a lie 
that we live
it’s alright to be 
alone sometimes
what a life 
that we’re given
it’s alright to to be 
alone sometimes

and i don’t wanna
live a life where
i’m feeling sorry
so baby take all
my mistakes
and blame it all on me
cuz i’m not you and
you’re not me
so we can just 
call this a tragedy
but then i’d be
lying once again

SPOTIFY

it's alright w/ kaiyko [MUSIC VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION]

i always fall in love
with someone that i can’t have
i never asked for my heart
to be broken in half
i tried my best to stay away
you probably noticed, but
it’s not your fault i hate myself
hope you know this

life that i’m livings a lie
even if you asked
i probably couldn’t
tell you why
taken over by a void
i can’t even fucking cry
every time you ask about me
i’m just feeling tongue tied
it’s the same shit
over and over
ik were both growing
older and older
feeling our hearts
get colder and colder
wish i could feel
your head on my shoulders, but

timing was always an enemy
you were never just a friend to me, i
know what i’m saying doesn’t add up
to how i speak when you askin me wassup
yeah timing was always my enemy
and you were never just a friend to me, i
know what i’m saying doesn’t add up
to how i speak when you askin me wassup

it's not your fault

Mixed and produced by @bennibeats_

Follow BENNI. @
https://linktr.ee/bennibeats_

Follow me @
https://linktr.ee/samueliez

Samueliez - Skeletons (Prod. @OMGbenni)

NEW ALBUM OCTOBER 9TH 2020 🌐🖤
shoutoutz 2 @kaiyko

it feels like i'm stranded on my own
this is not the way it's supposed to go
taking me for granted i'll take you to hell
fuck all the help

even when i'm down
i try to bring you up
even when i'm empty
i try to show you love
even when i'm lost
i try to find a way for you
to smile when i'm not
with everything i've got

i gave it my all
trying my best for you
it wasn't enough
doing the best i can
i'm only a man
why can't you see that?
my world is burning down

why's this happening
i thought that i could change
but now i'm desperately
searching for a sign that leads
nowhere at all for me
and honestly
i wanted you to be the one
to break me free from this scarcity 
of loving myself for the person i am
today and not the way
you look at me so casually
when i'm about to break
when i'm about to go breaking down again
how do i send
all my love but all my love is
still reaching out to you
still reaching out to you

i gave it my all
trying my best for you
it wasn't enough
doing the best i can
i'm only a man
why can't you see that
my world is burning down

it feels like i'm stranded on my own
this is not the way it's supposed to go
taking me for granted i'll take you to hell
fuck all the help

tell you that honestly i wanted you
to be the one to break me free
break me free from this scarcity
i'm living with all your love
but all my love's locked in me
it's still reaching out to you
still reaching out to you

it's alright w/ kaiyko [MUSIC VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION]

demxntia 🌐🖤

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