FNAF Song I Am Numb by DHeusta

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of bird games abandoned by their owners: Red from Angry Birds vs Mr. Crow from Catastrophe Crow. Enjoy!

@freshykanal as Red
Commander Jacob as Mr. Crow
@sw4nked as Chuck
@superthingsoncupsss as Bomb
@snakebite126 as the Jays

Written by Commander Jacob & GamingPlush64
Mixed & mastered by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Anywaywell
Crow model by El Stephono

-LYRICS-

Red (0:09)
I thought the pigs’ plot was enough to make me pissed off
But now I gotta fling hot disses straight off the slingshot
We stay protecting kids way before they frickin' hatch
Fitting that this little brat came from a baby’s chicken scratch
You have, like, 20 vids, there’s no way you can catch up
I got raps up my sleeve, while your sleeve is just wrapped up 
Your cartridge and Daddy will stay old and grey
Loner strayed, flew the coup, and never stayed to raise his precious golden egg

Mr. Crow (0:28)
I see you, Red. I’d tear apart your cardinal sins
But we can bond over the crow language it’s clear your bars were in
Or maybe not, after your latest failures, I observed that
Your servers must have been cursed bad by the evil Sir Cat!
Those absurd raps are calling me to stay and work at
A verse that can take you down so we can’t see these birds flap
I stack hits like blocks, show you an L, and tower you
Lemme just lay this down if I gotta spell it out for you
While I respect protecting your nest from turning into a bed and breakfast 
Your tactics lack any sense of direction when flinging heads into wreckage 
You got rich from your title? 
Your only golden shower nowadays is piss from your idol!

Red (0:57)
Your word vomit couldn’t even keep my chicks fed
He won’t be home ever again after that shit’s wrecked
We get money like Hal; our green’s coming around
I’ll put you down - 6 crows feet under the ground
I stay squaded up. Yo, Jay, Bomb, and Chuck
Let’s show this winged black sheep why they can’t flock with us
Chuck (1:11)
Ugh, speedy time, you weakley swine! We can rhyme with an eagle’s might
But maybe translating your 800 languages can come out with a decent line
Bomb (1:16)
No teddy bear to cuddle with, you can’t get your dad back
You weren’t even worthy to get stuffed in a bear’s backpack
The Jays (1:21)
Get Butchered, no Adam. We’re sick when we’re splitted
Attacking and rapping, we’re killer in triplets
Red (1:26)
When I’m spitting off the bill, no way you can get through to me
I’m knocking over all your builds and breaking down your Unity
Cause me and my boys got the skill, destruction isn’t new to me 
So if you wanna talk to Nils, stop using your community
We’ll die a martyr just to stop the piggie’s punk shit
At least write to Marta before you run away and jump ship
Fuck demon cats, development’s you’re only hell now
The only flight you've taken is the staircase you fell down
Nothing your fans theorize will make Thea rise
So now Lorenz himself will eternally need to be revived


Crow (1:50)
You dumb shits, thrown at the wall to see what sticks
You lucky mother-cluckers should be glad ya landed one hit
Both Rovio and Opus didn’t know what they were asked for
I took it to the depths, you took it off the App Store
You wanna bring a squad in? Face a murder of crows
To checkmate your flock of pawns and submerge 'em with flows
I’ll pop your whole arsenal and I’ll leave with three gold stars
The last nail in my coffin? I’m breaking free with each crowbar
No one’s wanting (ugh) all your cash-ins (nah)
All they wanted was to make you zip through blocks
You were launching (eh), now you’re crashing (ouch!)
Made some bubble games, and that shit went pop
Not talking PCs when I clip your head through a window
Your money bag-headed developers ain’t enough to scare this crow
It’s no sweat ending these legless and armless balls
The least hard thing I’ve gone through is a concrete wall
Your player’s gone too, now that you’re off phones
2 birds, 1 throne. I’ve finally gone home

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Angry Birds vs Catastrophe Crow | Lame-Ass Rap Battles

Agatha All Along (Wandavision Metal Cover)

Trivia Murder Party - The Jackbox Funkin' Pack (Cancelled) OST by MrZushi

16 The Final Girl (By Aaron-Fraser-Nash)

Welcome to Game Theory[parody from hannahcast]

Macabre Rotting Girl

Herzenssache (Herzenssache)

Fuck it, new audio (Happy Halloween!)

Matthew Thomas as Wii Are Twisted
Vladimyr P. as AzuraiTemcev
Juliauna R. as Cass

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA
CONSOLE ME
VERSUS
WII ARE TWISTED
BEGIN!

Wii are Twisted:
Alright readers, what you will be reading today
I think it’s time to teach a new way to play: the hard way
Unplug that text-to-speech box, lob it to attack hard
That brick’ll surely leave a mark: Red Ring of wack bars
I’ll be tossing out raps, with lack of Safety Straps
It’s pretty sad you made a girlfriend out of bargain bin scrap
I’ve seen less of brats choking in these Twisted games 
In the end, it’ll be MY voice driving you insane!

AzuraiTemcev:
I guess Link’s slashes aren’t all that provokes screams
Your sluggish lines are more slow than a hacked control scheme
Raze you faster than BlazBlue, that I’m dead-set
Enough from me, have some words from the girl in the headset
Cass:
The name’s Cass, trapped inside this virtual toy
Cheats won’t be needed to one-shot unstable employees
Borderlands is squat next to what you’ll be put through
AzuraiTemcev & Cass:
Wii are Rap Slayers. Wii are Winners. NOT You Too.

Wii are Twisted:
Hearing this tired same story’s inspired my life a new era
Your shit “peril” is doing less scaring than a disk error
My head is throbbing from this game crap, I’ll have a lay down later
When I’m from this nerd and Overly Attached Game Player

AzuraiTemcev:
Thanks for altering the game, victory is now mine!
Not surprised you’re aching, frankly you lost your damn mind!
But, I can’t shake this odd feeling, my consciousness is losing
What’s going on? Cass...what are you doing?

Cass:
A double cross was forthcoming when my plan was complete
You’ve been drilling on my patience, and now it’s time to Unleash
You losers won’t be missing much with the lives you were living with
Ain’t talking Elder Scrolls when I say you’ll like Oblivion
I’ll be Disposing of Garbage like this boy’s Sonic toys
Design for SEGA? Honestly, you’re better off unemployed
Console-t Me, for data in this plain world of white
This will be your new lives, no use fighting, Azurai
We Pay this prison Forward, best say your farewells
As I tear you from this world, leaving two fleshy shells
Some Ordinary Gamers lost their lives with their wits
BEGINNING TRANSITION OF TWO KIDS INTO SUBJECTS 5 AND 6

Written by: MultiSuperVids
Beat by: Audio Network

Console Me vs Wii Are Twisted. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta.

Music from the DDLC mod: Doki Doki Blue Skies

Sayori's Theme

Reupload. Last upload got taken down and my appeal didn't go through.

Azia as Peridot
Lil Secks as The Flatwoods Monster

Peridot:

*ahem* Here’s the drill, you corrupted cryptid
I’m sure to leave a burnt metallic odor inflicted
On this twisted thing so it can’t cause humans harm
By removing this clodpated owl from my barn!
*Peridot grumbling noises* Not a stretch to erect you defective
When even your very permanence comes into question
When Pumpkin warned me of a danger - I assumed it would be that
Not a Braxton brat left like his name and fame - Flat!


The Flatwoods Monster:

Is your win’s existence evident? Let’s gather the evidence
You drone on more than those that defend your residence
Homeworld’s logic is astounding - they’ve made an Era 2
I’ll be taking Lapis out of your life - you’re feeling blue
Shud a Lil’ Butler step up in this bout
I’ll prove you’re not unique - I cast the shadow of a doubt
Staring sadly at the figure your irate dog ate
While your Campy Pining Heart couldn’t even keep a Log Date

Peridot:

I don’t think my Message was Received, judging by your torment
You just keep spitting things that get flushed down the toilet
The point is - I’m prevailing in this verbal Gem War
So I order you to get out my dimension, 10 4?
You’d like a Log Date, wouldn’t ya? Got a thing for tree trunks
But now the Flatwoods Monster’s unable to touch stumps
*NYEHEHEH!* That Will Be All, you Flatwoods clod
There will be no escape pod when displayed as a fraud

The Flatwoods Monster:

Towering over this Mistake, like my name was Yellow Diamond
When I’m spitting fire balls to leave this Breakfast Friend Crying
Don’t get con-fused, prude, when you’re blacked out and and caked in goo
I sighted Doritos and Mountain Dew fused, it was you!
Step out of your Uni-verse and face me in tangibility
For I shall spare this Clusterf*** due to her lack of ability
So you can save your “wow, thanks” and your feeble skills from Steven
Before I leave you and this battle cut clean like cleavage..

Peridot vs The Flatwoods Monster (2020) - Rap Battle (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

Eddiefrb