mix is amazing lyrics amazing flow amazing melody amazing... overall... AMAZING

Produced by @irby314 & @jolst
Mixed by @decksmusic
Additional vocals by @prodhorosha
Mastered by Bryan Shortell @shordeli

LYRICS
Wounded at a young age
Had nobody I could turn to
It’s sickening the things you did
And how I learned through
The example you set
I thought I was a black sheep
Turns out I’m just like the rest

Of my family tree
Rotting from the inside
Branches devoid of leaves
So please
Don’t ever idolize me
These eyes have seen more pain than you would believe

I’ve got a damaged brain
There’s not much can be done
After all I’m just a product
I’m my father’s son
I can’t cope with this all on my own
I kill myself slow
Insisting all the while I’m not suicidal
It’s hard to match expectations I put on myself
I took a step
I took two steps back
How will I know when it’s bad enough to need help
I thought I was a black sheep
Turns out I’m just like

My dear old dad
He was the man of the house
He wasn't often around
Guess what that makes me now
As if the world’s against me
I only rely on myself
Turns out I’m somebody else

Listen on Spotify!

Black Sheep (Prod. irby & Jolst)

Lyrics:

lights out
i guess im tired
and i been fightin sumthin
im goin silence huntin
i just want a moment, give me a second to hone it
every day that i wake, i gotta sharpen the blade

oh you're takin it back like it was a typo uh
i guess i was never your type then huh
cause you only like em when they love you and then leave but i wasn't that cause i never did mistreat you
you put up your guard, defend
how do we start again
when every conversation we're havin ends in disgust
cause i got insecurities and i know you don't trust
but honestly baby i don't want it to be the end of us

every time that we start to get close you pull away
and i know that i still gotta say it right to your face
but i make time to make sure that i'm around
but you never called, even when i'm not im town
oh i'll stay here even tho i know that it's fake
and i guess that we tried but it's just not aligned to fate
honesty and regret abstained, i think i almost loved you

every body got an opinion, i will just shut down
cause maybe i don't wanna hear you out the picture run mouth
and baby if i'm honest, i think that you should run now
cause ain't it bout that time for us to get close and then bounce out
eyes bled red but i want hazel instead
i'm sorry that i wasn't there when you wished you were dead
axe grind, cut the line, let my neck snap
make sure that it's taut baby won't work if it's slack

overdose license, pure death i siphoned
bro said stick to the tests, don't give a fuck i did the rest
swallowed all dat shit to give my respitory a rest
i was doin shit that'd give a baby hair on chest
and no im not proud, but i escaped from that cloud
shut the fuck up, boy them voices aren't loud
all those numbers on the internet, but you can't pull a crowd
and if we post up on this side then you are not allowed

oh shit i gotta, lie down
im dyin here won't you pipe down
you always said that what goes around comes back
but orbital, that's not how i'd describe my path
cause i just looked ahead and i see distance in my past
and things ain't goin slow your just too used to movin fast
i still got a couple questions i'm afraid to ask
understand i would but right now ima let it pass

a_pattern_of_disaffection_ (secre x splashgvng)

worry 'bout urself w/Bmurph [+gaxillic]

hold me like this one will be the last time 

prod: michael harrison and gavin hadley 
master: @onlyfriendyeah

i took a trip out to vegas 
and you had lost your wallet 
i think we both tried to save it 
i think i knew i can't stop it 
cause baby we were breaking 
so many cracks spread without 
and by the time that it had split 
we had planned out a house 

i can't love you enough 
i'll try my best till it's done
baby you're all that i want 
i wish you'd tell me that once

i'd give up everything i have to fix the things ruined
but i just can't make myself put my heart through it 

i don't want it to stop 
i can't feel it all 
i don't want you gone 
i ran right through the wall

tell me everything
you want it too
i can't be your rendezvous
even if i tried 
i couldn't even if i wanted to
i always lose 
it's the truth 

i don't think that we can try again
now there's no me without you 
and baby i know that you lied again 
cause that's just what we do 
tell me that everything will be alright 
hold me like this one will be the last time 
kiss me so softly, i'll cry the whole night
grab on my body and look in my eyes 
look in my eyes

i can't love you enough 
i'll try my best till it's done 
(did i say too much, did i say too much?)
baby you're all that i want 
i wish you'd tell me that once

icantloveyouenough

lyrics

a long time ago there was hope in my eyes
but now i just see whats in front of me
n if im not awake can u open my eyes?
n try to make me wake up manually

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

stop talking if this bottles my last drink i wanna make it count
i seem to think better when theres no one around
all i need is a smoke and the sun down
then i can make you proud
kid dont want fame he wants the riches
his wife and not the bitches
drunken swashbuckler im singing to the fishes
n i know when i die no one will listen but the mrs.
like woah
i traded all my friends for some peace of mind
i cant go outside tonight im busy making rhymes
but u dont need to worry baby girl im fine
its just one of those nights

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

drunken sailors shanty (jacob vallen)

im losing count what number single but its on the @fleshgolem album nonetheless

lyrics

my life is a ticking time bomb
u play the right song
and all of the wires will spark

life’s short then why it feel long?
i’m tryna right wrongs
while surrounded in dark

love myself
i’ve been tryna get to that place
no words said
i would never come out of that place
i don’t know what to say anymore
a thousand notes on my phone that’s jus stored

i wanna get to sleep on time
i been heavyheaded got a lotta stress on my mind
medicating just sleep at all
plenty ppl fall
but i can’t just lose what i used to die for

i don’t check the safety
just vibin lately
the pressure tryna take me
won’t let it change me 
suffer more suffer less, it’s all the same 
had no choice still a voice yelling change

she said can u lov me for the moment
but it don’t mean as much so y’s it so important 
u see thru my lens shit distorted 
why u want me to against the grain again and again
its jus pain, its jus pain, uh its jus pain its jus pain
￼

against the grain

against the grain (flesh x ertu)

prod. Shiki XO
mastered: nate2timez
mix: me
art: my lovely girlfriend :)
lyrics: 

i was walking alone on a road
when i didn’t have anywhere to go
my heart always feels so god damn cold
cause i’m always on my own
i can see the clouds gather in my heart
they shroud the person that i was
and tear my my mind apart

now, there is nothing left for me here 
   (there ain’t nothing left for me here)
so how do run away and disappear?
   (how do i run away and disappear?)

no one could tell me the answers i needed
even if i yelled, begged, and pleaded
all i could think of is the way i was treated
so egregious, every day just repeated
i was stuck in the same cycle over and over
but you didn’t fucking care
you just sat there hungover
   (didn’t fucking care about me)
you sink even lower
you’ve lost your composure 
your breath is fucking foul
i can tell your not sober

(ohh i can tell your not sober)
ohh

now, there is nothing left for me here 
   (there ain’t nothing left for me here)
so how do run away and disappear?
   (how do i run away and disappear?)
the lines are blurred between you and i
so now i don’t know if i should go or die
so how do run away and disappear?
   (how do i run away and disappear?)

how do i disappear? (Shiki XO)

i knew it at 17 that you'd haunt me
//
prod. @fleshgolem & @pekarot_161
===================
lyrics:

i cant imagine how exhausting
it must be
just to want me
in the peak of october;
flaunting
what its like to be seen
i won’t live out this dream
i knew it at 17
that you’d haunt me,
you’d haunt me

come inside
what’re we doing standing here?
cold as ice
i guess theres no point acting cavalier
its my right
to wanna be angry, i don’t wanna be angry, but its all thats here
i won’t bite
you couldn’t get that reaction, now could you?

take me, break me
i know lately
i haven’t been at my best love
it isnt all what it seems so
make me stay please
its been fading
i know its all evocation
you know i’d never erase it

well, its all in the past, thats fine
i wonder what could’ve been that night
i’m always down on my luck in spite
of all the times that you proved me right
love, what’re we doing standing here?
i don’t wanna be angry but it’s all thats here

come inside
what’re we doing standing here?
cold as ice
i guess theres no point acting cavalier
its my right
to wanna be angry, i don’t wanna be angry, but its all thats here
i won’t bite
you couldn’t get that reaction, now could you?

<resize frame>

the eleventh hour

spotify & apple

the eleventh hour [flesh x pekarot]

produced: tiedforsilver
feat: greenwood 
artwork: my amazing gf <3

lyrics:

( i would give anything to walk by your side again, alone my hands are trembling and i would make the sun drown)

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

(greenwood)

keep you safe, i don't know if i can manage
i whip it fast, sip it slow, its fucking static
guess you were right, never more than just an addict
i compensate, i overdo it fucking manic

all of that in my life though
i just really wanna go home
call you drunk from your friends phone
straight passing out at the dial tone
i don't what this life's worth
guess i don't see what you see (don't know what you mean)
nothing ever came easy when i'm face down in the deep

compensate i never get it right
run it different in my head like just the other night
see the mist and all the people on the other side
i know you're there and i don't even have to wonder

(epitome)

i do not have the time, nor a good alibi 
to explain why, how nothings been going right
i could roll the dice, but that would waste the time
of you and i, no need to try to chance it now

this loneliness as left a frown
on my face, it’s dragging me down
to the ground, now underneath where i can’t even hear a sound

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

i would make the sun drown w/ greenwood (tiedforsilver)

standing by the bedside
baby you know you’re picture perfect
lights off moving so slow as you undress
i’ll take time but promise i’m back before the sunset
you’re gone i should’ve known that i was worthless

why is everybody spiteful
like where’d the love go?
suddenly you hate me like i meant nothing despite all…
pushing every corner like i’m not walking on tight ropes
i know the truth is that you’d never care if i fall :/

go on
hold on
seems i made it home but it all seems
so wrong
so wrong…
there’s blood all on the floor leaking down from the walls :(
i just hate that you would never call
tell me that you care but don’t try at all
okay baby posing like a doll
i’ll clean all the blood of off the walls

i don’t serenade
i spit blood out my mouth
or all the thoughts will poison me :/
i love when it builds
and feels like i’m a walking tragedy
i romanticize the pain like it’s not fucking killing me :P
swear its fucking agony

say it’s a dream
wake me up i’ve had enough
cause i feel nothing
my
emotions
have
shut
the
fuck
up.

i'm home but the walls are bleeding [prodsecre]

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too

fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake
sealing my fate
breaking my body let it decay x2

cuz up in my head i’m enough
but when i’m with you, you’re not feeling my love
you put the knife in my back
so i put my drink in my cup

stuck in a haze
lie to my face when you said we won’t break up
so iv just been out on the run
hand on the trigger 
you’re pointing the gun

look in the mirror who am i?
tryna be me, but i feel disguised
darken my face
hard to replace
fighting hard but my body just breaks 

i remember the times
you were with him when you claimed to be mine
got me in a bad mood
fighting myself just to have you 

like that’s what i want
i wish i could have you
girls wanna have fun
guess you wanna have him too


fighting myself
meant what i said when i said go to hell
losing my mind get me outta my cell
some people told me but i never tell
what’s real or what’s fake

how do i disappear? (Shiki XO)

epitomeoffailure (hiatus)

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