people always talk like they know me 
no one sees the knife inside my heart as i slowly die 
feelings come alive and they’re burning  
i had all the patience in the world but now i don’t try 
it’s a waste of time 
everyone walks out my life 
i say goodbye 
you’ve heard that line 
but i remember every night 
 
hey 
i’m afraid love 
lately it’s more than i just can’t wake up 
stay? 
cause i need you 
but you don’t feel the same and it’s so see through 
 
(oh i just want to go home) 

try to act like i’m tough 
cant even stomach the thought of my blood 
i want to paint walls red when i’m in love 
i want to paint walls red 
i want to paint walls red oh 
try to act like enough 
can’t even stomach the thought of you now  
i want to paint walls red when i’m in love 
i want to paint walls red 
i want to paint walls red oh...

i want to paint walls red [drma x michael harrison]

You should kill me, kill me, kill me
Not the real me, real me, real me
I don’t see him
Breathing, breathing
You don’t need him, need him, need him oh
And I always think about you when im sitting in the dark
Swear I feel your breath putting pressure on my arm
But what the fuck do I know
Im sat here waiting for some truth to be told

Better, know you could be wetter
Pussy so bad he pulled a weapon
My love I don’t know what you’re selling
Too bad im bought in descension

Oh god I don’t know what to get
Two minds im not losing again
What the fuck you think you’re doing in bed
I look away and now you’re fucking again

bought in descension 

This must be the end of everything that I know
Her nails are cutting marks into the back of my throat
No matter how much I clean it won’t go
Fuck you never call me your bro

You don’t give a fuck, you don’t give a fuck
I thought you had a question
Am I not good enough?
Given up now, given up
I let my guard down
Ive had enough

youre moving backwards 
give me some time, 
gimme me some space to relax love
You don’t want that
Feeling pressure around my neck love
im going fast
Imma turn my car right 
just to call it a crash
I can see you going down 
but you didnt ask
You don’t wanna try 
bitch you never have
Ruining a life that you never had
let him knock you up just to get me back
Fucking tapped

Descension

standing by the bedside
baby you know you’re picture perfect
lights off moving so slow as you undress
i’ll take time but promise i’m back before the sunset
you’re gone i should’ve known that i was worthless

why is everybody spiteful
like where’d the love go?
suddenly you hate me like i meant nothing despite all…
pushing every corner like i’m not walking on tight ropes
i know the truth is that you’d never care if i fall :/

go on
hold on
seems i made it home but it all seems
so wrong
so wrong…
there’s blood all on the floor leaking down from the walls :(
i just hate that you would never call
tell me that you care but don’t try at all
okay baby posing like a doll
i’ll clean all the blood of off the walls

i don’t serenade
i spit blood out my mouth
or all the thoughts will poison me :/
i love when it builds
and feels like i’m a walking tragedy
i romanticize the pain like it’s not fucking killing me :P
swear its fucking agony

say it’s a dream
wake me up i’ve had enough
cause i feel nothing
my
emotions
have
shut
the
fuck
up.

i'm home but the walls are bleeding [prodsecre]

i can feel the pressure building underneath my skin
wanna hide that’s funny think you’re so intelligent
wanna get inside my head might let you again
take what you desire you know i’ll always let you in

cause i
could give a piece of mine
would give a thousand times
you cut into my flesh
take me home with you tonight
look into my eyes something there you hoped to find?
consume or be consumed you're the one that holds the knife

cause i can feel the chills around me like a fucking ghost town
you think you’re better off without try to get away now

cause there’s this ghost inside the wall where your voice is
you say you hate me baby tell me all your choices
cause enough is enough
and enough gets done
imma hold you down while you’re on the run

please don’t count the bodies
i just couldn’t help myself
when you’re on the run
the hunt feel so damn heaven sent

well you ripped apart my heart
so it’s been fair from the start
you can’t hide now in the dark
circle round you like a shark

sink my teeth in your veins
tell me how u love pain
feel the blood as it drains straight from your neck
we’re not one of the same
i’m a lot more insane
you could never escape what will come next

on the run

spotify

on the run w/ notenvy [tnvr]

strings by @vayhn

For so long
I’ve cut my heart open
I’ve Been so heavily devoted
But what does it matter now
What does it matter now

Harboured to nothing
I’m drowning you’re not running
Am I not worth saving
Don’t leave me, I’m wasted
I’m rotten
Don’t taste me
I’m falling
You’re waiting
For somebody better than me
How I wish I could have been

Don’t ask no questions
Won’t get no lies
You’ve ruined all we’ve had
Hope that was right

I draw lines running parallel
They never get to cross 
But they know so well
And ones always on the frontline 
Though they never get to touch 
They protect so well
Keep running
I’m surrounded 
Heart open
All this damage
You noticed
Oh you noticed
In truth I’m losing focus 

Don’t stay awake without me
Stretch marks on my skin and I’m hardly
Impressed by myself and my surroundings 
Lowkey kinda scared that you despise me

Maybe it’s all a facade and you’re just tryna keep round
Breathing under water girl you cannot hold me down
Down
Both my feet tied to the ground 
Ground

parallel

@prod-oc

i can’t fall asleep
when you’re not here with me
so promise that you’ll pay a visit in my dreams
my eyes they start to bleed
but please do not worry
i rather wipe the blood than what’s left of my tears

oh oh oh

saw my angel’s wings tore apart again
now i’m gone adrift no guardian
so ive lost some friends
it’s all part of it
but when i’m on top
don’t say my name

there’s that girl in red…
everybody seems to adore
got blood on my fit
now im starting to get real annoyed
and when winter’s gone
you’ll wonder why it’s still getting cold
with severed wings
you’re all sanctioned here
left to be doomed

doomed

doomed [oc]

@prod-oc 

ive got so much words still left to say
but i won’t rain on your parade
i try to stay clean from all the hate
but i don’t need to talk to throw my shade
cause everybody knows my ways
and they would ride for me any day

i’m sick of holding back all the rage
blood all on my hands
and then i wipe it on my face
and i dont want to hear you say my name
i can talk my shit
cause i will back up what i say

there’s a lot of snakes inside of the grass
and if i ripped them all right out would i get over the past
i won’t
the bones are buried
underneath the boards
there’s a lot of pain i wish didn’t last
and if i gave another chance you’d rip me open with glass
i know
eyes tell all you won’t

ive got so much words still left to say
but i don’t want to rain on your parade
i tried to stay clean from hate
i just can’t escape

but i don’t need to talk to throw my shade
cause everybody here they know my ways
they’d ride for me any day
they’d ride for me anywhere

so lay down
it’s all rain now
i took your words to my heart
ruined worth
now it’s dark
but i guess it’s what i get

so lay down
it’s doomed now
it’s just a fault in your stars
made a choice now it’s dark

rain

rain [oc]

@decayinganyways @tnvr555

I feel you crawling deep under my skin
You look at me, promise it's not what I think...
But I know you'd do all it takes just to win
So I play with caution
And move in
SILENCE :)
DARLING
I LOVE HOW YOU MOVE WHEN YOU'RE ON ME GRINDING
SIN
DARLING!
SINK YOUR TEETH IN ME
I WON'T KEEP YOU STARVING

She wants to tear me apart
Oh I know...
Her eyes of gold
Always finds into my home
She wants to rip out my heart
Oh I know
But I can't stop craving
How you touch me
My love...

She wants to tear me apart
Oh I know...
Her eyes of gold
Always finds into my home
She wants to rip out my heart :(
Oh I know
But I can't stop craving
How you touch me
My love :)

Lost in the crowd with nowhere to be found
I thought I found a place to just make it out
Knowing that I feel so hypnotized
Lost in this maze and out of my mind

Is it you?
Is it me?
Something in-between
Bloody shoes it seems
Something in my dreams...
So sick i've turned green
Want love so pristine
Take me to somewhere we can't be seen

OH MY FEAR
DON'T HOLD ME DEAR
MESS WITH MY HEAD
BUT I KNOW WHAT I SAW
MY CAROUSEL LOVE
PREPARE FOR THE FALL!
OPEN MY HEART
AND I SAW
THE DEMON THAT YOU KNOW YOU ARE-

WHAT YOU ARE
WHAT YOU ARE
WHAT ARE YOU

SHE WANTS TO TEAR ME APART
OH I KNOW!!!
HER EYES OF GOLD
ALWAYS FINDS INTO MY HOME :(
SHE WANTS TO RIP OUT MY HEART
OH I KNOW!!!
BUT I CAN'T STOP CRAVING
HOW YOU TOUCH ME
MY LOVE

SHE WANTS TO TEAR ME APART
OH I KNOW
HER EYES ARE GOLD
HER EYES ARE COLD!!!
SHE WANTS TO RIP OUT MY HEART
OH I KNOW :(
BUT I CAN'T STOP CRAVING
HOW YOU TOUCH ME
MY LOVE

carousel

carousel w/ decayinganyways [tnvr]

im sorry its quiet messy, it was supposed to be one take throughout i just couldnt do it, im sure you can hear. lyrics can be found on sleeps version.
i miss you sm buddy

anxiety - sleepwater (one take)

rot 
i can’t deal with all of it 
i’m starting to feel nauseous 
would you want to talk? 
but please don’t mind the silence 
my brain just isn’t kind to me 

stay alive 
say a lie
wish that i could speak my mind 
but i’ve got so much to lose 
that i’d rather keep my pride  
say its fine
then we die 
it all feels like wasted time 
say are you wasting my time?

yeah i should stay my distance
promise that’s just how i know to be
i like it much better
when nobody seems to notice me 
stay and listen?
but i've been bored of all the fucking grief
no one seems to comprehend 
yet they have the songs on repeat 

i’m pleading my silence
no reason for violence 
i’m not gonna take this outside 
i’ve been subconsciously cautious 
of inhaling your toxins 
but seems that i let them inside 
there’s no way to find what’s wrong now 
cause i moved on so why the comedown

doomed [oc]

I'm Geist