No matter how many times I listen to this song I always get goosebumps

my new fav song from u since by the sea <3

is it love
is it fear 
why do i just stand here
i can cut through the masks
see it clear
are they still my friends here

torn to shreds
and pieced back together
lost forever
you're reprieve
dissect me for all my treasures
treat me better
i wont leave

Dissect

with every new low, rediscover old highs
you lifted yourself up once 
why skip a retry?
got my old rage
and new motivations
all i want is distance, self control and patience

it's not lost on me, i just needed space

run cus you're mad
return when you're sad
how much of you do they have?
break off and dont go back

they got queer kids in their crosshairs 
and their deaths never make the news
i live every second building upwards
and i'll use that just to ensure that you lose
tell me that the dreams dead cus you want it to be
i failed the way they designed
couldnt feel safe with myself 
tried to improve it with time

peerless, led to crosshairs
would my death ever make the news?
we lived every second building up hatred 
i can see it in all of your views
wishing that a dream's dead cus you need it to be
fell out of what they designed
trauma wont dictate my path
removed for how i align

with every new low, rediscover old highs
you lifted yourself up once 
why skip a retry?
got my old rage
and new motivations
all i want is distance, self control and patience

saw the patterns before everyone else
i gave em warnings, didnt matter, i'd offend when i'd tell
i can feel subtext from miles away
doesnt matter, to this day i'm still turned into prey
with no chance

run cus you're mad
return when you're sad
how much of you do they have?
break off and dont go back

Excuse

lyrics:

told all my friends i disappeared for a new energy
tried to break the silence
always made more enemies
worsen while improving
oxymoron entropy
fought off all the demons
phantom pain is everything

i'm sorry for the ways i've wronged you
i tried too hard to be less cold 
i'd normally break down in the distance
now rage always has a hold
i'm trying so hard to better for you
i know that there's someone better for you
you wouldn't deal with the shit that i do
it's devastatingly true

i know it's hard sometimes
but i can't get out of this state of mind
wish i could say i'm fine
without feeling like i'm lying
you take over
you take over

was i ever worth it
do i deserve this
is this the karma for me when young n imperfect
i guess i earned it
i guess i'll bow down
and meet the earth until we're one
this is my purchase
i need a clear soul
not a clear image
i dug my own grave
but i'm not in it
i'll fight tooth and fucking nail till i'm forgiven
know i'm never gonna fail
there's just this one thing
and i'll lose for it
i could die for it
this is more than fucking drama you killed life for us
and i'd like if someone really heard me right for once
everytime i fucking breathe bitches light me up
n i knew before it
that was new for this
normally the people targeted arent piping up
i said no to lying down but i ran low on luck
i could hate my decision but know that that shit's for the best

Orange

i made a song out of my song titles 

i fear Holding Back
i fear Avarice
i fear Wrath from them
that's the half of it
i'm a secret friend
Ira's Alibis
fear What I've Become
at least in their eyes
Is It Me
Is It You
default as scapegoats for each Excuse
Fell Apart
low Supply
All I Want for this is it to come to life
Pro Tip
Live In Dreams
move through Clouds like all Friction had's unseen
Blurred Streaks on blank panes
As They Burn they see the point of these Games
 
practice Kintsugi
not the art but the thought trait 
broken mental, bitch i made my way Around It
got Wings and I flew up to my god state
called the Sequence of events and i was grounded
repeated Atmosphere, i feel Paralysis
i'm always Weird to them, so i'm used to callousness
see their patterns Drawn
and all the Danger near
I feel the Vitriol 
I'm Dissapating here

I'M "PRESCRIBED MEDICINES" AND THEY'VE PUT ME THROUGH HELL
BUT I'M WORSE OFF WITHOUT EM
I'LL FIGHT THIS MYSELF
I'D RATHER HAVE MY "CONTROL", HUMAN TOLLS
ALL THAT HELPS
I'LL PICK ME UP BY THE "PIECES"
WITHOUT WHAT YOU SELL
I SEE THE "CRIMSON" AND "PURPLE"
THE MARKS THAT THEY LEAVE
AND ALL THE WHILE TRY TO GRIEVE WHAT THEY'VE TAKEN FROM ME
"CANT SEE SHIT" BUT MY BURDENS AND TURNS IN MY HEALTH
I SAW STORIES IN TRAUMA 
AND FLIPPED THEM TO HELP

Timeline

snapped for my first song of the year

lyrics:

i dont even need your love 
i dont even need your grace 
all of us are broken here
tell me why we're saving face
i wont bend to save myself
changing up for them wont help
beat on me because i fall
strive to see me hit that wall

covert, concealed it
mask so well these bitches never know how ive been feeling
break apart and scream it from the roof, i know no ceiling
one in million chance they dont grow hateful, i'll reveal it
coded language, feel it
coded me when i was better than you fucks could ever be
envy bleeds to entropy
tell me how youre straight and say how gay to be
face me please and say your piece

i'm a real person
real worth it
real hurt
real bitter
real imperfect
take my mask off
find more there
peel layers back
no one's in there 
see my questions like your weapons
these are tools that we built for dissection
we can make up
you fought unfair
turned my back once and felt crosshairs

take it all and run from me 
i know what you've planned 
what was done's for dirt to see
lungs are full of sand
shallow as the grave
nothing ever changed
you destroyed me

we see your feelings
i'm an open book yet you said argument's revealing
gaslight till i shake and say that i'm too far to deal with
kick me out just like our other friends, 
won't let you heal it
coded till it seals it
coded me till i was cornered in a way you'll never be
envy bleeds to enemies
give us all a show and drop the face you need
space the pleas and rage you feed

Covert, Concealed

lyrics

commas in my streams
dollars in the pocket
i was passenger,
watch me work up to the cockpit
look at how i'm framed
picture perfect optics object 
they made money off my trauma, wonder why i'm offset
upset with the way that you worked me
see where they're seething and push in to hurt me
saw red, regret not just leaving this lurking
but boy, you're a vulture 
i see where you're perching

hated, poignant, always self-destroying 
vacant, voided, i mean - shit, just look at my choices
i'm a patient, poised in places that serve poison  
and i'm wading, fading to points i can't enjoy it

box-cut
errrr, i've been paranoid lately
normally i'm active
i've been hiding daily
got stuck
errr, i've been pushing for my safety
and i don't want to fail you
there's distance that i'm making

offset, upset 
and i'm sorry i'm broken, it's starting to scare me
they step back if i'm open
it won't end, wont bend
and i'm losing devotion 
the work that i put in's just drops in the ocean

F.U. (TWINWOLVES x Ivory Rasmus)

help me bleed in the way that people used to want to see
this is pressing into wounds and it's something i don't need
fuck the pleas, their support is something i can drop for free
openness just helps them feed
openness just helps them feed

find remedies, not faults
it wasn't your fault
just be more than the past
and stand through the windblasts

let this tension pass
barriers will crash
and you see right through the glass
all that pain can't last

don't be ashamed of your mental
just learn how to live with and harness the breadth of your image
this is a rally to tally the days that you're down and seek pureness to mix in
i'm just a fool to these bitches
a tool to be witnessed, a hunt that i'm fixed in
there is no purpose if that's what you feel
me recently? i've been my religion

i realized i dont need affirming from anybody but me
i feel eyes, pointed and hateful, i fight for a minute to breathe
look at my avarice, painted through patterns
and painful to feed
sent through their messages
forced to dissect it 
there's so much to see

scream

All 4 U

i feel like luupy
i feel like ive been fucking tired of the groupies
i feel like all you little bitches want to lose me
i feel like everybody's out here tryna screw me
i know they're mad cus they've been trying to outdo me
i know i'm sad cus all the ties im stuck with losing
i point the finger and they're sitting saying "who, me?"
i got vendettas and barettas, please

i know my close friends think im fucking smothering
i'm gonna kill myself and leave you bitches wondering
i point the finger cus i can't decide who's governing
past lives pass knives onto veins i'm cutting in
i see the patterns painted till i'm just another in
i see the ladders climbed and i decide to fall
i see an obstacle and make that shit a wall
and all you wonder why they unvite from calls

this is my note
this is me sticking a knife through my throat
this is me taking it out cus u gloat
this is me breaking from pressure from ghosts
i am a fool to the cool in their eyes
i am a tool to be tossed to the side
i am a
i am a

wait
i am despised
i see me speak and you rolling your eyes
i see my happiness push you aside
i see through faces what's hidden inside
i see me break in a way that you love
i see you climb till it's death from above
i see the knife you'll use when there's enough
cant fix the vacancy with just a hug

I Feel Loopy ft. TWINWOLVES

i just wanted you
to stay with me

i gotta run away to see something new
and reach better days in worlds built askew
i gotta run away to see something new
and learn to readjust to not depend on you

you
you lied

leave me out to rot in here
there's no time to let me clear the air around us
you're the best thing that happened to me
now we're the worst little tragedy
you're the worst thing that happened to me
my whole life started to feel like tragedy
without you

I Just Wanted You

i'm drowning in my blood
the barriers i built are dust
and no one here can stop them now
no one here can stop them now
hands pull me to the earth
and part of me knows it's deserved
cus i was never stopped till now
i was never stopped till now

you move with your fear
and i push with my hope
i won't let you hurt them again
i won't let you hurt them again

if i hear you're near 
i'll make sure that you choke
i won't let you hurt me again
i would drop it all for revenge

i'm rising from the mud
becoming more than what i was
can fire burn a phoenix down?
can fire burn a phoenix down?
they crowned a man who runs
can't face the truth of what he's done
but walls he built won't stop me now
all he's done will hit the ground

i see all the people you hurt
so how can i relent
i'll protect them with no silver lining
you feign innocence with your words
but i know what i saw, and what you did to me
you're lying

you move with your fear
and i push with my hope
i won't let you hurt them again
i won't let you hurt them again

if i hear you're near 
i'll make sure that you choke
i won't let you hurt me again
i would drop it all for revenge

bandcamp!!

my world

listen to my music

22 y/o nb gay artist n musician 

all vocals, lyrics, and instrumentals are by me unless mentioned
(i will credit any samples that are major parts of the song tho)

DM me for features/commissions

I Just Wanted You

Ivory Rasmus

Recent comments

sun.sleepy

rot8ed

soy

betty the worst

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