songs i'll always love

Sorc'd Set (10/9/21)

JoshIGuess Nightcore Set (11/20/21)

clean songs

prod. @windyboi
featuring @toxin_brewer
mixing/mastering
@joshiguess -by myself
@toxin_brewer -by himself
lyrics below
they be saying next up, she be acting extra,
if we keep this at our force won't ever be against us,
hiding in the spectrum, you won't ever be a victim,
 unless you coming up to me and  hit hard with reflection,

and i've been gone, for a while, 
we can't bond, with this pile,
of pillows, collapsing, all over, our bodies,
 and
we'll talk with walkie talkies, 
and i've just wanted to feel you around but it's too distant,
wont you be my mistress, i wish i had these kisses on this bed,
 in my head it circulates these thoughts of you,
and i can't feel the way i wanted me next to you

every time i'm next to you i just wanna die, baby hurt my feelings, girl i really hate the way you make me feel, everything you said i know you never meant it, everything you meant i know you never said it, looking at my face, i was ??? looking at the screenshots of your messages

walkie talkies w/ toxin brewer (windyboi)

song inspired by 100 gecs lmfao
and i've been trying to find new ways, i've been trying to find a new place,
and i've been wanting to make my own name, in this place that i will escape

so i'll run away from my problems, and think nothing at all, i dont care what
you do you will not make me fall, 


i've been feeling so wrong but, that's okay we will turn things just right,
can you all leave me alone and i don't wanna fight off, these lame foes, when
all they do is insult, while i promote

New Place! (Roko Tensei)

(prod. bipolar beats)
mix by: me
master by: me
vocals by: me
cover art by: https://www.instagram.com/drawllapse/
and how the fuck do people liking me feel painful (painful)
not really their fault i'm mentally unstable (i'm unstable!)
i swear to god my life's been told just like a fable (like a fable!)
they shut me off like people shutting off their cable (shut it off!)
i try to pleasure everyone when i'm unable (i'm unable!)
i gotta put my life together like a staple (gotta staple!)
but they just think i'm good all they give is appraisal (give appraisal!)
deep inside i often have thoughts of betrayal (yes i do!)

all these emails tryna sign me to a label (they just want you!)
but if i really do i really won't feel faithful (yeah i won't)
i just wanna work and always do my own thing (my own thing)
but how do i when i can't even think straight (not thinking clearly)
about what i want in this life (very dearly)
they take advantage whenever u wanna feel nice (and they fear me)
and to these people i could never pass their turnpike (wheeling)
unless i already wanna go and see the light (feelings)
why these people always wanna take advantage (of my own stuff)
i guess they dont know the affect of damage
@user-324021497

Music Vid

don't hit me up: it's painful

feat https://soundcloud.com/akiradoves

Looking at the sunset
Are you feeling upset?
I hope you won't forget
Hope you won't ignore this
Hanging on the door hinge
Hoping you will let me in
I need all your oxygen
I can't breathe without it
Do you really like me?
I know you wouldn't doubt it
Am I your guy? I might be
Let's prove it with an outing
Will you ever find me?
I'm in the water drowning
Of tears from the past tense
Hoping I won't go again

My eyes feel like blurry lens
Should I just put down my pen
Looking at the message that you sent
Wonder if I should've went, feelings that I should've kept
Cuz I can't make decisions I always make predictions
I do it thru a diction, is this just addiction?
I am on a mission hoping that one day you'll come back and listen
Your eyes will always shine and glisten
Always in my dreams, they're most innocent but evil
Craziest I've ever seen, that you'd think I'm off a bean
I wish you know what you mean you mean everything to me

Looking at the sunset
Are you feeling upset?
I hope you won't forget
Hope you won't ignore this
Hanging on the door hinge
Hoping you will let me in
I need all your oxygen
I can't breathe without it
Do you really like me?
I know you wouldn't doubt it
Am I your guy? I might be
Let's prove it with an outing
Will you ever find me?
I'm in the water drowning
Of tears from the past tense
Hoping I won't go again

Hoping I won't go to bed, hoping I will never rest
Hoping this will never end
Hoping for more, hoping more
Holding me more, hold me more
Don't stop, I promise i'll be there
You're gone, why'd you have to go away
It's almost like a tragic story
It's almost like that you don't know me

Looking at the sunset
Are you feeling upset?
I hope you won't forget
Hope you won't ignore this
Hanging on the door hinge
Hoping you will let me in
I need all your oxygen
I can't breathe without it
Do you really like me?
I know you wouldn't doubt it
Am I your guy? I might be
Let's prove it with an outing
Will you ever find me?
I'm in the water drowning
Of tears from the past tense
Hoping I won't go again

Visualizer

oxygen w/ akiradoves

prod https://soundcloud.com/wheelprod
og version: https://soundcloud.com/j0shiguess/attachment-issues

Do I want to stay, or should I go away
Should I leave the world or have this risk to take,
Will it turn out worse or will it be so great,
Still I gotta try to accept my fate 

Only had to try this 2 times like I'm nate, 
But there's days that I feel I can't escape,
Stuck with you forever but I can't complain,
This feeling you give me  driving me insane,


Loving it, McDonald's, High pitched voice like Carl, 
hate on me I snarl, sun comes out like Charles,
 ride or die for me,  rise and shine for me
 but she been wanting drugs so she might die on me,
(you know I really don't want that to happen please don't take that serious i swear to god)

 she told me she promised not to lie to me, 
how am I still going, I always agree
Will this help in life or will I not succeed,
I'm already failing, hope I get degree


I just feel attached, she snatched my heart from me, benefits or issues tell apart for me, how do I continue she so far from me, 
always rejecting others that live close to me,

Do I want to stay, or should I go away
Should I leave the world or have this risk to take,
Will it turn out worse or will it be so great,
Still I gotta try to accept my fate
to accept my fate to accept my fate to accept my fate
she my one and only,
promised this forever, but it's going slowly, 
I hate being so she the one for me,
I hate having issues but they strengthen me

attachment issues (wheel)

https://soundcloud.com/j0shiguess/convince-myself-nightcore-nxname
_________________________________________________________________

Tryna convince myself I'm not worthless 
Tryna convince myself that I'm worth it
Tryna convince myself she's not perfect
But I know that times have worsened 

I've been going through these days haven't been working
Got all this fame I dont think that I earned it
What's the future for me it's a blur and
I can't see what occurs in the moment
I can't seem to find what's the purpose
X on the spot and I continue searching
Ex on my call and I see the tables turning
Ex on my cock in my dreams that are hurting

Tryna convince myself I'm not worthless 
Tryna convince myself that I'm worth it
Tryna convince myself she's not perfect
But I know that times have worsened 

Feel so tired waking up from these nightmares
Try to stand up strong, baby I'm on a high chair
Feel so high on the swings at the fair
But they didn't check my seatbelt so I could've fell there
Would've fell into a pit but is it what I wanted?
No I wanna stay alive but i keep on thinking twice
Multi-personalities probably not okay,
But I still try to call with my friends every day

convince myself. (nxname)

feat https://soundcloud.com/ilyl1ght
prod: https://soundcloud.com/prodbyjoshwa
https://open.spotify.com/album/1OdvK8PePuUVnuXNXCUih8
Baby what a sight to see
All day in the sun just you and me like
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh oh (yeah)
My friends all tell me watch out
But I got a feeling that they're all wrong 
They all said you're bad for me
Won't you stay here adore me
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh oh
Baby tell me something 
I feel like i'm in love and
You know

You know
Every time no response yeah you ghost 
But you know once you loved me the most
And I wish you would hold me close

And I can't stop staring 
At these messages you sent me
It's gotten me transcending to a whole another dimension

And girl I got questions 
Are your intentions
To lead me in this direction?
Got these butterflies in my intestines 
But I guess it's just to leave impressions

And you know you got me
Without having to prove (anything)
But you staying right within my dreams

Baby what a sight to see
All day in the sun just you and me like
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh oh (yeah)
My friends all tell me watch out
But I got a feeling that they're all wrong
They all said you're bad for me
Won't you stay here adore me
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh oh
Baby tell me something
I feel like i'm in love and
You know

spotify

woahohyouknow w/ ilyl1ght (joshwa)

You're still my best friends
Even if we're distant
And I can't fathom losing over disagreements
And I can't help that I keep enjoying peace where
I stand next to lakes and to the mountain peak and

I take in the fresh air as I continue breathing
And you don't gotta worry what you do and don't believe in
Just as long as you don't battle me with your own demons
Cus it's hard for me to handle anyone close that is leaving

He's stuck with her and I just gotta accept that
And my other friends busy and I wish I could prevent that
Ghosted about a year and i'm still tryna get back on track
Without their energy i'm missing my other half

Yeah the percent is 50
Josh nowadays doesn't feel too nifty
Lost track of my mind when I had an epiphany
Yeah I'm always coming down like Santa from a chimney

I can't keep running away from this society
But it's hard to keep these feelings that are inside of me
I used to have a lot of people that were right behind me
But once they keep on moving forward they say bye bye to me

You're still my best friends
Even if we're distant
And I can't fathom losing over disagreements
And I can't help that I keep enjoying peace where
I stand next to lakes and to the mountain peak and

And yeah I may be afk
But i'll still try to be there any day
Just wish it didnt have to be this way
If only my mind could never break

Never break
I made too many mistakes
I just gotta teach myself to behave

long distance

Slowly drift to a place
So far away
I can tell it's nowhere near yesterday
The past and present shall not be erased
It's gotta stay for my future to take

Now i'm truly stuck in the middle of nowhere
And I cannot choose between my long or my short hair
Is this town vintage or modern like warfare?
They told me at least I got a room to record there
So why not take my time and go and explore there
Before the time expires and it starts to outgrow there
So let's go and try and start to make it a home there
They try to tell where I am like, it's a no share

And there's times I know i could be elsewhere
But you know I won't feel like myself there so

Slowly drift to a place
So far away
I can tell it's nowhere near yesterday
The past and present shall not be erased
It's gotta stay for my future to take

There's no escape now there's no way to transport
Unless I'm getting to the bag like i'm wearing Jansport
Or I truly use my legs, yea it's a man's sport
Catch me chilling in the back of a vans store
Of a vans store

middle of nowhere

gym class (prod. brobak)

Ｉ＇ＬＬ　ＲＵＮ　ＳＯ　ＦＡＲ　ＦＲＯＭ　
ＴＨＥＳＥ　ＳＨＡＤＯＷＳ

//私の心の断片//

lyrics
-------
i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 

i think i found the antidote
i think i found another road
i think i found some fucking hope
nope
i think i'm tryna find a way
to rid of all these darker days
but my minds trapped inside a maze 

so i'll run so far from these shadows
makeshift but my hearts still fragile
i'd drown but the waters too shallow
my heads still caught in the gallows
your kiss is my remedy
i fall to the ground so desperately
baby i know that you're mad at me
filling all the voids like cavities 

i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 
i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 

i guess this feeling lasts forever
i guess we'll never be together
you're colder than i can remember
but the ice is melting quickly 
i'm still wishing that you'd miss me

but you're gone and i never could replace you
mistraced new face but it ain't you
rebuilding the forts that i made you
no love but my hearts tryna break thru
my chest cause its caving in
i dwell in a cell in a realm of sin
six shots to the face of rum & gin
i'm dead in the head so i guess you win 

i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you

solitary

Produced by ENRA

LYRICS:

Dont fall asleep yet
I'm wide awake still
I wonder if u think about me when u lay still
Don't fall asleep yet
Promise me you’ll stay here
Are my pictures on you wall still like last year

Don't fall asleep yet
I'm wide awake still
I wonder if u think about me when u lay still
Its been a long time
Miss u around me
When I dream about u r u dreaming bout me


Verse

Dont fall asleep
Im wide awake
I hope that we
Have brighter days
U still have my heart
So don’t let it break
I want u all mine forever
I’ll put my heart on a projector
I wish we settled all the struggles we got into
The best part of my life was with you

Rap

Think about u too much
Trynna fall asleep 
But my eyes won’t shut
Said u need a break
And thats ok
But when u feel alone
Always got my place
Life throws curves
Sorry for your loss
Praying for your peace
When the night feels long
Writing songs for you with my guitar
Leave if u want but please don’t go far

SPOTIFY

don't fall asleep yet

featuring https://soundcloud.com/emoflytrap
prod https://soundcloud.com/nejdos
mixed/mastered by me 
-----------------------
don't @ me,
you've been warned,
that you hurt me,
like piles of thorns, 
hit me hard, 
like you were thor,
 but you gave me, what i asked for,

waste of space, 
thats what i am, 
while you rise up,
 i sink in sand, 
when one picks up,
 one just ran,
 when i mess up,
 can't take my stance, 
hard to take,
 more romance, 
when i know,
all won't go as planned

 i dont wanna pay
 i just want the cake
 sorry that im late
 im just hella fake
 back it up in the club 
got my lights in the puff,
i know life sucks 
im just tryna get by, 
you hurt me, 
and the words gone away,
dont hurt me im just tryna stay away
you hurt me, 
and the words gone away,
dont hurt me im just tryna stay away

what i asked for w/ emoflytrap (nejdos)

lyrics:

she makes the feeling of alone subside
im faulty product im not worth your time
the last goodbye always hits harder at night
so wont you stay
one more time

i just gotta let you know
im not here to take u home
woke up two calls on my phone
wish that they would leave me alone
but they never do
they never do that
i wish i
i could do that
i just cant let you go
hop out the sewer and take u home

she makes the feeling of alone subside
im faulty product im not worth your time
the last goodbye always hits harder at night
so wont you stay
one more time

pines break through the memories
late nights were her remedy
cold words thru her sharpened teeth
create deep wounds you imbed in me  
throwing heads in the wishing well
when shes this mad she could boil hell
i thought we would go together
but i guess i could go fuck myself
theres a time and a place
but she has no problem doing it here
he has his hands on top her waist
in the photos she cant share
and its truly a shame
i thought we could make it through the year at least
but this game you been playing is killing me
and im too low on energy

she makes the feeling of alone subside
im faulty product im not worth your time
the last goodbye always hits harder at night
so wont you stay
one more time

one time for old times ft eric godlow (eric godlow)

slid in dms, i let you in, i became your medicine, i'm always the cure,
i wanted it more, i wanted it more, i wanted it more, i wanted it more i always felt a different thing,
spending time with you, i just take this time to sing, to express my feeling past and present, i worry about the future too much,
but honestly it's looking good now, couldn't feel a thing, anything but you really got me in a mood now,

gotta get through this won't complain, i'm glad about what we have today, we got a reward at stake, and we always got the goals to chase,
you know what we got to get through, in this life there is a maze, of these choices we give or take, and impress it to our amaze,

i am nervous, to serve this purpose, but it's just the way life goes now,
do i deserve this, of course it's urgent, now you know you'll never feel alone now,
i just got to take past actions with a grain of salt, 
cuz even when things were my fault, i put those things to a halt now,

and i just got to improve every day that i can, i need to prove, that i'm a man, that really cares so deeply, for his beings in his presence,
and i can be your medic, even when its hectic, i promise i won't let it,

ohhh-- ohhh--- ohhh--- ohh---

live perfomance <3

medic (kudyo)

w / soundcloud.com/athrynb
soundcloud.com/akiradoves

Heart eyes, heart eyes when I see you
Inspirational I really wanna be you
Doors locked and I need to find the key thru
Lock into the heart that you see thru

Heart eyes, heart eyes when I see you
Inspirational I really wanna be you
Doors locked and I need to find the key thru
Lock into the heart that you see thru

You're the one, that ends the pain
You're the sunlight to my rain
We won't sit, talk and complain
But we'll get better at the end of the day
We'll get better at the end of the day
We'll get better at the end of the day
We'll get better at the end of the day

Look around it's hard to see through
All the hardships, you have no clue
Inspirational, heart is what I come to
Take what I've said for redo

Clouded minds fill the open air
Heart eyes come but so rare
Life's hard you make it fair
Heart eyes cleanse the despair
Heart eyes, heart eyes when I see you
Inspirational I really wanna be you
Doors locked and I need to find the key thru
Locked into the heart that you see thru

All the pain, all the hate
Disappears without a trace
Heart eyes, opens our fate
To the new things for debate

You're the one, that ends the pain
You're the sunlight to my rain
We won't sit, talk and complain
But we'll get better at the end of the day
We'll get better at the end of the day
We'll get better at the end of the day

Yeah you're the sunlight to my rain

Yeah you're the sunlight to my rain

Yeah you're the sunlight to my rain

I know that it's hard sometimes baby come and hold me tight
I've been lost, and I'm lost
Every time I start to cry you were never there at night
Why were you gone, when I was lost
Kinda wonder why you hate me
I kinda want you to love me (woah-oh-oh-oh)
Do you ever say goodbye?
I don't want this to ever end
So we'll fly like the doves yuh

You're the one, that ends the pain
You're the sunlight to my rain
We won't sit, talk and complain
But we'll get better at the end of the day

performance

heart eyes w/ athryn & akiradoves (redmosk)

Show In Sac Pre-Sale ($10 Tickets) save asap
https://linktr.ee/oct17smash