This hit my soul so much that i want to puke my heart

been jamming this for so long and it still beings tears to my eyes.

I saw stars when we kissed(•ؔʶ̷ ˡ̲̮ ؔʶ̷)✧

featuring @nothomex

i let that shit get the best of me 
now i be rockin on therapy 
i do this shit all so carefully
the weight on my neck is just killin me 
pour down sleeve 
i can't fucking sleep
watch my eyes close
yeah 
this shit like 3d
i like her nose ring 
lil bitch got tagteam
her love like bad dream
i pour my once all alone now
i whip it like green and i lay out
all of my boys trynna hang out 
but i'm just trying to smoke till i black out

It’s weird when I have future in my head 
Because before 21 I see myself dead 
I can’t see any color , how can I not be mad 
I don’t have an expectation for the start of my life only for the end
I can’t see anything I cannot blend 
In between the society , I’m on a deep end 
Will I be able to stand ? 
Find myself in this shitstorm 
Did they already know my end before I was born

Last summer I was more lost than found 
Was left picking up the pieces scattered on the ground
Couldn’t talk couldn’t sleep 
Couldn’t walk couldn’t eat
Lost some pounds I lost some weight 
Now all pants fall from my waiste 
Scars on my wrist tears on my face 
The deepest wounds are the ones you can’t see
I’m the only one who can feel
All the pain they reveal 
I hope I’ll get better this year 
Sometimes I stand still 
I tried i tried i tried i tried 
i cried i cried I cried i cried
I tried i tried i tried i tried 
i cried i cried I cried i cried

dead b4 21 (ft.not home.) prod.nadiak & marlas dreams

linden & nevrfall - wait for me in the next life (ft. heylog)

prod by me and soundcloud.com/cay2o

shoutout to soundcloud.com/heylog , soundcloud.com/nothomex , and soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt for hoppin on this with me they're all goated and rly cool ppl show love to them if u arent already

hope u all enjoy :)

lyrics:

me:
i dont think I can keep on livin like shit
close my eyes, feel the tension 
im stressin bout it 
cause no ones the same, and I cant feel nothin 
im feelin strange, but I cant care cus its nothin 

please dont leave yet, I can see you frown when im bleedin.
please ima be there, anytime u need me ill be close so u can see me 

heylog:
everyday i'm feelin awful
6 feet, horizontal
i recommend u give me space
cause i'm close to hostile
she compliment me on my eyes
said, "i love the way they sparkle"
i'm lookin like some trash
while she's looking like a model
i want you
ur irish changes from green to blue
i love you
but why u gotta leave so soon

not home. :
they told me im too gone 
green packed in a new bong
I told her put her bra on, I wont be here too long 
left your thraxx in a baggy
bad bitch ripped jeans, cincinnati 
im your boy so call me shaggy
at the house now her lips speakin nasty

skele:
go ahead and just leave now
won't be here when i break down
keep cutting me i wont feel it
but i love when you bring the knife out
n babe i think that u ruin me 
not numb but god how i wanna be
look in my eyes if you want i feel the blood in the back of my tongue
say love, 
i really think you're a bad one
i think you like how my hearts gone
i think you just wanna have fun 
play around till it kills me 
till i hang from my ceiling 
getting close to no feeling
will u stay here if im willing

ima be there

spotify

ima be there w/heylog, residential, & skele

i hope you feel that back

prod: @jolst @afterlife66

i'm in a house made of cards
and it's falling
n i just break down 
seeing stars when i'm off it
don't say you'll come back
it's all the same 
i don't want it
cause i'll just bleed out
leaving stains on the carpet

don't bother calling
too busy balling
don't say you need those things you said you never wanted
i'm tryna be someone
i'm making moves, i'm gone
i had to go out to la so i could play that part
i hope you're doing better without me 
i hope you're telling your friends i was never making you happy
i hope you wake up sad
i hope you break down bad 
cause in the end you never cared,
i hope you feel that back

n you know just what to do 
move on to something new
i know you're good at that 
don't feel a thing i'm glad
cause for a minute i was thinking you would come right back

but you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent

house of cards (prod. jolst & afterlife)

n i just miss the way 
you used to talk,
i guess
cause now i tend to think myself to death 
it's hard for me to sleep without a text
n i really fucking need to get some rest

i can play it up for you if you want 
grab my neck n i'll say it's fun 
push my chest with a loaded gun,
i'll do anything to prove that i can be someone
that you really want
but i have a tendency 
to fuck everything up, up
i need some medicine 
don't know what the method is 
off the sedatives 
till i don't know what day it is 

n i just miss the way 
you used to talk,
i guess
cause it's all i want when i'm a mess
it doesn't feel the same inside my head
so tell me goodnight and get some rest

n i just
n i just
n i just 
n i just

i just miss the way you used to talk, i guess (prod. afterlife)

prod: @jolst @irby314
master: https://soundcloud.com/caustyk

i wish that i wasn't wrong


i wish i never called back 
you said
you couldn't tell me that you loved me 
no stress
i hope he treats you better 
than i ever did 
i always break when it ends 
wish you weren't more than a friend
cause i tried so hard
for this
i never thought you'd be gone 
cause i saw stars when we kissed
and it hurt for so long 
again
i never thought you'd be gone
i wish that i wasn't wrong

n i tried too hard 
i guess
i just wanna feel wanted 
and end up hurt in the end
n i should know by now 
that i'm not worth that text
if i was better then maybe 
i'll say it's love when it's sex
n you can fuck me up n i'll stay 
i've learned it's better that way 
i can convince myself that you care when i break
and when your eyes turn to grey 
and all the lies sound the same
i'll know you're leaving for certain 
i've learned the signs of my burden

n i'll ignore it 
like windows down when it's pouring 
i must like hurting myself,
i always know where it's going
n i don't know why i do that 
i wanted love, 
i can say that

i wish that i wasn't wrong this time 
i wish you would've been here 
i wish that i could tell you
i quit smoking cigarettes 
i got stuck on the sentiment 
couldn't look at our necklace 
and i cried getting rid of it
i heard that song
i played it all
wanted to tell you it hurt 
when you missed those calls 
took that trip back home
wanted to see my mom 
n it's been cold in los angeles 
wish we made it to fall
i still give you the benefit 
n honest i'm sick of it
you're not the person that i knew 
i don't know what you did with them
cause you got cold 
n time moved slow 
you left in july 
but i swear there was snow

i wish i never called back (prod. jolst & irby)

needed this to change
produced by @pekarot_161
featuring @lilskeleskrrt
mixed by nine to 5 and skele

lyrics:
nine to 5:
Now I'm left in the cold
Stary late night when my breathe turns to smoke
Living in the past when the rest still unfolds
I just wanna go back when my neck wasn't choked I'm
Stuck inside my mind when I'm passing
Highway signs eastbound we were laughing
Now I'm left with nothing but these memories flashing
gone within a moment and I don't know what happened

I can't get away, yeah theres nowhere I can run to
We've been everywhere, I can't begin to forget you
Your shadows everywhere around me even inside my room
Staring at the wall wishing that I was beside you

Living in this empty state of mind
Wander through this empty space
Lost because I know I'll never find
Anyone to take your place
Shivers running up and down my spine
Tears falling down my face
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

skele:
I've been a part of you for too long
And I still write the same songs
I'll wait here forever love until I figure out what you want
It's never enough
Just break me down
And I'll stay put til you're done
I fucking gave you my heart

both:
I fucking gave you my all

nine to 5:
But it was never enough

nine to 5 and skele:
Living in this empty state of mind
Wander through this empty space
Lost because I know I'll never find
Anyone to take your place
Shivers running up and down my spine
Tears falling down my face
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Yeah you still needed this to change (still needed this, still needed this)
Knowing that I gave you all my heart
But you still needed this to change

Still needed this to change
Knowing that I gave you all my heart but you still needed this to change
Still needed this to change
Yeah you still needed this to change
Knowing that I gave you all my heart but you still needed this to change

needed this to change ft. skele (prod. pekarot)

luv yall <3
prod. ztope

lyrics
-----------------
long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home
long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home

all already alone
so it shouldnt make any difference
but why cant u pick up the phone
n why is everyone distant
i speak and its hurt in the tone
i just wanted u to listen
this blunt really got me in thoughts
inside of my mind is a prison

long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home
long nights on the patio
its getting cold, girl i gotta go
7/11 stop down by the road
long drive, but im walking home

follow spotify!

nites

(casperrr)
look at the place im in 
notice the pain i feel 
sometimes i wish u were here
so i could have u close 2 me 

look at the way i live
notice the way i bleed
i hide my scars under   sleeves
but i always have blades close 2 me

(self harming i'm addicted to pain
blood flowing down the drain 
u fucked up my whole brain 
cause i still want u to have my last name)~

(skele)
what does it feel like to wake up with closure
drinking alone i've been drunk since october
hoping for change told my mom i'd get sober
blood from my veins ill bleed till it's over
and im so scared that i cant fix the breaks u made
and it's not fair cause i'd be fine if u just stayed
sometimes i wish u were just so i could get sum fucking sleep
sometimes i wish u were baby you are everything i need

(casperrr)
look at the place im in 
notice the pain i feel 
sometimes i wish u were here
so i could have u close 2 me 

look at the way i live
notice the way i bleed
i hide my scars under   sleeves
but i always have blades close 2 me (2x)

look at the place i'm in w/skele (pekarot)

produced by jolst + splashgvng
featuring skele 

sendflowrs:

(it’s so frustrating 
the way u say that 
u know what u want
and u still do not want me)

now it’s the winter
and it’s so cold
she told me she always felt safe
wearing my coat 
i’m still a loser 
always alone ): 
and those big brown eyes 
they always freeze up all my bones 
she shows a smile
and says “come home”
i think the day that i die
i’ll finally grow 

i’m still here
and you’re still right there
and you told me 
“shitll never be the same”
you’re a tumour, but i’m clear 
now you’re somebody else’s 
tidal wave 

(skele)

but i’m here 
and you’re there 
washing out blood dried up in ur hair 
baby don’t keep calling me i don’t care 
going out bad 
like so sad
hurting me till i crash
you’re a tumor 
need to cut you out 
but i’m here 
n you’re there 
n you tell me that it’ll be okay 

(skele & sendflowrs)
i don’t care 

(sendflowrs) 

i’m still here
and you’re still right there
and you told me 
“shitll never be the same”
you’re a tumour, but i’m clear 
now you’re somebody else’s 
tidal wave

i wish i never called back (prod. jolst & irby)

skele

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