prod deadfish <3

socials:
https://www.instagram.com/deadfishig

lyrics:

I need therapy
I am going numb
could you look at me
and maybe dm me from time to time

I don't think I'll be okay
I think it's needless to say
that I need someone to stay
is it bad that I'm afraid

I never wanted
to end up like that
alone and aching 
with no one to talk about stuff
that troubles me and I can't
deal it with on my own
I've been to therapy
didn't listen now I'm at the start

I never wanted to feel like a burden oh no
so sick of hearing that I'm better off dead
Don't need your pity, no
I Don't want any meds
I know I'm god damn numb
but pills just won't help

I need therapy
I am going numb
could you look at me
and maybe dm me from time to time

I don't think I'll be okay
I think it's needless to say
that I need someone to stay
is it bad that I'm afraid
x2

Afraid

lyrics
Bojack: "I just want to say that, I've loved being here with you this year. You've shown me the type of person I didn't know I wanted to be. Thank you. And I just, I want you to all appreciate this time. And how special it is. And how fast it'll all go away. Please, cherish this."

fuck, i feel like giving up
i wish that i was better but for now i guess im stuck
i been steady on the run
tryna get myself away from me, i feel it in my gut

like i hate myself so much i wanna rip off all my skin
shove a razor in my arm, been therapeutic when i did
want to hurt myself so bad but i been told that its a sin
at least thats what the Christians say when im around, they see my skin

i just have to lay low
i cant even stay stoned
laying on the floor alone
my body getting cold, this must be how i go

i feel like im gonna break
know that i cannot be saved
waiting for the day when things finally feel okay
but i doubt it so i pray

why am i still here
didnt think id see this year
ive run my course for too long i fear
if theres a future, its so unclear

i lied
im not fine
i buried it so deep but now my life is on the line
one time
just give me a sign
i swear i want to stay but it just hurts to be alive

everyones gone, and im still withdrawn
im watching the whole world collapse until dawn
i cant fucking sleep when i sweat in my sheets
cause my stomach is killing, i cant even eat

and now if you relate then im sorry bout that
i want you to smile but i know that you cant
i cant do it either a matter of fact
its just way too much work when youre still not intact

i feel like giving up

i could never hold my stance
when its slipping through my hands
like the tide against my bones
pull me under, drag me home

buried deep beneath the weight
of the words we left too late
salt and silence fill my lungs
sing my name in fading tongues

i trace the air of where you stood
faded outlines, splintered wood
i could scream but you wont hear
waves crash down, i disappear

pulled apart but still in place
lips are bloody, i can taste
i can always tell when ive lose myself
i feel insane

memory of a ghost

produced by the wonderful @iamaneerdowell

lyrics;
i say i try my best
but i
never try my best x2

gods always putting me thru tests
and all my friends are pushing me to the ledge
im still waiting for a text from my ex
my dr switched my meds
i think theyre working
its hard to fix something when ur always hurting
and nothings ever fucking working

is this shit always in my fuckedup head
i get tired of waking up and wanting to be dead
idk how much energy i got left
so leave me alone

if i do not answer the phone dont call me again
i dont wanna talk to you, you always got a plan
you use me for attention than go back to your man
ik i was apart of the plan
its okay you win

i say i try my best
but i
never try my best x2

try my best

ithinkukno (prod. michael harrison + xelfiy)

yeah we never did it right
try to switch sides but its too late
take the rib out my side
every waking thought feels insane 
but i know thay im alive
been tryna find comfort in this pain
but boy its been a ride
saw that look up on ur face ur gone tonight

when a star collides
or an angel gets its wings
when the night sky’s
reflecting on to me
it’s like i couldn’t help it
you smile while you say im selfish
my bad that you couldn’t tell
when i tried to yell
i was busy breathless

we can waste time
thinking bout the past 
but im offline
since you made my heart black
and i gave my phone a crack

in the front seat of a new car
felt u cut me, got a new scar
aint it lovely when you’re so far?
family found me in the front yard 

been ashamed of the man that i was 
been off of the gram, cuz its only fake love
i came to conclusion im stuck in a rut
but im stronger than this so im not giving up

when a star collides
or an angel gets its wings
when the night sky’s
reflecting on to me
like i couodnt help it
you smile while you say im selfish
my bad that u couldn’t tell
when i tried to yell
i was busy breathless

breathless [under the maple tree]

👻

(MisFiiT) you in the club and i’m in my bed at home
you go ghost i can’t rant cuz i been doing that
i been scrounging for your love in the trash ima sewer rat (fuckin rat)
i feel like cold cuz i always want more and more 
chimney, i feel like im stuck in a chimney
claustrophobic 
bacardi my cup it’s empty
i’m tired of feelin envious (jealous wreck)
there’s a pit in my gut
know this what i want
but i know you don’t care about it

(yungcray) you was at the club I was alone drinking down, this bottle that I store behind my bed,  it really help,
I’m in my head, it’s like a boat, I think I might drown,
I wanna go, just read my notes, I wrote it all down 

and I been feeling reckless, I really wish I knew more 
and I might wreck this life, or find anew door 
all black diamond necklace, it’s pretty it’s a dark tool, 
I think I’ll just go home and maybe write more

(icaruslurks) 
I do to much I know 
Lately I’ve been off coke 
And I don’t drink that much
I guess you’ll never really know 
But I guess I’m not sober tho
And if I say I am then I’m lyin
Can’t pretend I’m sober when I’m flyin
Can’t pretend I’m happy when I’m cryin
If I say I’m not then I’m lyin 
If I say I miss you then I’m lyin 
There’s no denying the misery 
I feel when you’re next to me 
I feel when you’re next to me

ghost in da club w/ yungcray & Icaruslurks (emory x cl6udy)

rehab (prod. michael harrison + xelfiy)

An Unexpected Change

lyrics:

and it all went by like that
another year gone by left sad
i dont really want this chance
i might ruin everything we had

its okay i been spending time alone now
barely eating all my pants fall from the waist down
having big dreams yet feeling so awake now
in the night time chilling with my phone out
with my best friends sitting back to smoke loud
man i love life why the i gotta go now

and it all went by like that
another year gone by left sad
i dont really want this chance
i might ruin everything we had

you say you love me but i know you just dont
you wont change for me baby just go
and i dont want you to hit my phone
its okay i been spending time alone now
barely eating all my pants fall from the waist down
having big dreams yet feeling so awake now
in the night time chilling with my phone out
with my best friends sitting back to smoke loud
man i love life why the i gotta go now

i wonder what i'll become (prod. web + i dont like mirrors)

XELFIY_BDAY_2K25 ft XELFIY (ROLLIE)

22 | vox/songwriter & engineer 

i make what i want my music isnt for everyone

email - m@scars.online

try my best

marsmal

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