i made it through another year
i’m walking up the steps, the path is never clear
im 20 now
and there’s no way around
most things are not the way they seem
this year felt no different to me
think i am stuck at 13

the photos that i kept 
knowing i haven’t changed since i last checked 
each december aches my chest
expectations to add to the stress
i’ll admit im a coward at my best
let me go and disconnect 
hold on til june i long to see the daisy’s bloom
petal bed to help me rest

twenty

Lyrics -

If ima fuck it up then shit, let’s do it over supernova stuffed inside this blunt
If there’s a salad in this bitch, no point to do it over lunch
But I can tell you missed the point and damn this roach is almost done 
let’s keep ‘em in rotation so we don’t run out of fun 
As I stand before the barrel of your gun 
All sensations lost my body weakens, I go numb 
It’s like I’ve seen something i know I  shouldn’t have now I’m stuck 
I was comfortable love, haven’t you ruined enough 

I get this sense of neglect right when you enter my mind 
Isn’t it obvious we’ve wasted our time 

Look how i fucked it up again 
Now the memories are ashes in the tray beside my bed 
Shit I took it to the head 
And leaves my conscience feeling fresh 
But that’s never what I get 
Now I don’t know

The Ruiner

produced by @prodcxrter x threemvsk
featuring @decksmusic x @flesh

https://open.spotify.com/track/7IaPndHHSCwBx3zEFHtFAY?si=CL8_mcGpSG2pvXp4xVEwlQ&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A3nvvOZ7UptPO8PoFNhNMn6

lyrics:

[@lottaheart]
every breath i take is just a waste when
you don't share the air that i breathe in
but i'll try my best to stay patient
it's just when i'm with you it's like i'm dreaming

i don't wanna overwhelm you with my thoughts
i'll keep my head down and my hopes high
i'm just tryna get my point across
i hope this works out for a long time
[x2]

[@decksmusic]
whats the point in going back on my word?
i’ve felt it once or twice before i’d never raise up the dirt
you saw the mirror break connection at first
cuz that reflections never perfect, our relations are earned
i need like eight hours 
to break sour
you see me in the waves, cower,
all that power will go to your head
paste valor
your flush malar
i wonder what’ll make matters worse
could it last you a lifetime?

i don’t wanna overwhelm you with my pain
i put the pen down, call it a night
in the presence of the same i’d be a lifeline
tell me right now, is that alright?

[@lottaheart]
i don't wanna overwhelm you with my thoughts
i'll keep my head down and my hopes high
i'm just tryna get my point across
i hope this works out for a long time
[x2]

[@flesh]
hold my hand
let's walk around
i'll always have the memory
it finally start to hit me
way back then it was something else
we were snowed in
but you kept me warm
for years i've been frozen
opponent of myself i know that
i'm just glad that's not the me that you knew
i put up one hell of a show
remember how callie would hide all the time
i guess that's what i feel like
that shit makes me wanna cry

hopes high w/ decks & flesh [cxrter x threemvsk]

produced by: ilyl1ght 
lyrics:
why do i do this to myself?
i swear that  im building a hell for us 
just you don’t want anyone else 
i try but it feels like im not enough 
and oh it eats slowly at me oh
if only you saw what i see oh 

𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚 
𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩, 𝙞 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 
𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 
𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪

i feels like i’ve nowhere to go
your not here and im trying to cope 
that look in your eyes feels like home 
home, home 
ohh 
with you it feels like i belong 
with you i don’t feel im alone 
ohhh

why do i do this to myself?
i swear that  im building a hell for us 
just you don’t want anyone else 
i try but it feels like im not enough 
and oh it eats slowly at me oh
if only you saw what i see ohh

you, i wont cope in a world without you
i wont live in a world without you 

<3

comfort

took me a bit to make this, but it was a ton of fun to experiment with some new sounds. s/o hero for teaching me about formant shifting /o/ 
I'm gonna try and release 2 songs next month, no guarantee though c:

lyrics:

I would lift your head when the water’s high
I would wrap your hands when you’re cold at night
lay flat on the ground so I break your fall
And I would be alright
I wouldn’t mind at all
I would move the sun when it blinds your sight
I would shoulder your weight and still stand upright
mutilate my body if my skin’s not right for you
if you were by my side 
I’d die for you
  
So I tear myself apart everyday that’s fine
I know that every piece ends up entwined
with my hands tracing slowly up up spine
sewing threads so tight they won’t unwind
I

wanna know
have you ever tried to be
anything more than what you’re trying to be
need to know 
if you’ve ever tried to see
everything that I can see

I could be a shipwreck washed ashore
I could be approaching meteors
I could be somebody’s last resort
Did I ever tell you that
that

Iiiii
will love you like I know to
castle in the sky 
baby I think we should float too
I’m barely alive
but for you I wanna pull through
if you were my ride or die
there’d be so much I could show you

I would lift your head when the water’s high
I would wrap your hands when you’re cold at night
lay flat on the ground so I break your fall
And I would be alright  
I wouldn’t mind at all
I would move the sun when it blinds your sight
I would shoulder your weight and still stand upright
mutilate my body if my skin’s not right for you
if you were by my side
I’d die for you

I could be a shipwreck washed ashore
I could be approaching meteors
I could be somebody’s last resort
Did I ever tell you that before?

break your fall (empty roads)

drops on all platforms - friday 13th june 💫

produced by: @prodjolst
featuring: @ripskele

and i know i look high im jus tired 
she weren’t the one she was lyin 
i jus poured up a 4 of the pinewood 
i jus switched up the plug now i’m flyin 
i pop a 10 n get violent 
i don’t fuck w opps or the sirens 
talk 2 me nice or be quiet 
u ain’t on this smoke ion buy it 
no i don’t buy it 

[skele]
i pray that someone take me home 
im not seeing right 
im mixing pills into my drink
so i can sleep tonight 
god i know u make me sore 
i don’t need reminded 
fucking kicking down that door
didn’t try to hide it
pouring up this drank 
into my cup gon make it worse 
i can’t even speak 
fuck up this check 
so it don’t hurt
put this metal to my brain 
go afk 
i’m making sure
hope i forget about ur face 
i pop this k 
like its a cure

and i know i look high im jus tired 
she weren’t the one she was lyin 
i jus poured up a 4 of the pinewood 
i jus switched up the plug now i’m flyin 
i pop a 10 n get violent 
i don’t fuck w opps or the sirens 
talk 2 me nice or be quiet 
u ain’t on this smoke ion buy it 
no i don’t buy it

tired w/ skele (jolst)

"one day we gon be okay baby just stay"
i can hear just how you told me like its yesterday
ill be sure to send my love from the cosmos
i guess lately its just been harder hitting high notes
i guess lately its just been easier to let my mind go
i guess lately im feeling bad bout dragging you along

cuz i dont want to see you at the bottom
and baby you can tell me if its too much
i know i can be a lot so you just say som
and i dont like myself if we need something to agree on
im up making songs fell asleep with my jeans on
i can tell you love me from the way you take my jeans off
id love if youd stick with me ill look better when i wean off
the same songs just in different styles
you wonder when i been this happy girl its been a while

but i cant make you smile
havent seen those pearly whites girl whats got you down
we can live another life if we leave this town
one day i can make it right one day youll be proud
in the passenger seat found my reason in the stars
i got holes in my jeans you got anger in your heart
its not as easy as it seems so i try to play my part
control alt then you deleted me im back here at the start
i got bad lungs one more cigarette
another sad song posted on the internet
i guess its not fun tell myself im not upset
when the days done find a place to lay my head
from the day we met swore to be my best
we both know the fire started when you call my friends
now im only feeling sorry for the shit i said
one day imma be a star im just not shining yet

and baby you can tell me if its too much
i know i can be a lot so you just say som
and i dont like myself if we need something to agree on
im up making songs fell asleep with my jeans on
i can tell you love me from the way you take my jeans off
id love if youd stick with me ill look better when i wean off
the same songs just in different styles
you wonder when i been this happy girl its been a while

denim w/ halfhearted (p. under the maple tree)

i’m glad your cheeks are red, my eyes have turned grey
and i look like a million but i feel like loose change
someone told me ill always get in my way
well if there’s two of me, ill make sure i include him everytime i pray

and with this circumstance, hope you think we should stay together
cause these dreams hurt so much
i miss you so much
and that’s my bad for thinking that i would be better after the mountain trip
i miss myself so much
and then you call my phone
i’m off the medicine
and i’ll sell my songs
so you’ll have a place to live
cause my heart is full
and my brain turned mush
hope you know when i’m gone
that i did all i could

let’s get it started then, while im here i might as well turn up
i’m drinking right off the block at this block party im bouta fuck it up
i’m gliding through this shit i really might just blow up like “Just Cause”
i know i “pour for four” but bae i really think that you’re the one
and i’ll slide
but im scared that it’s the last time
but you stay by my side
and i don’t know why you do that
but i’m glad you’re here tonight

and given the circumstance i hope that we can stick together
cause these dreams hurt so much, i miss you so much
and i guess that’s my bad for thinking that we would be better after the mountain trip
girl i miss us so much
hate being on my phone
i love the medicine
and i’ll sell my songs
so you’ll have a place to live baby
my heart is full
and my brain turned mush
hope you know when i’m gone
that i did all i could

i used to think that people like this were so reckless
now when my friends call me doing drugs i get jealous
my armors chinked with arrows sent here by the marksmen
they blocked out the sun and used my back like its a target
stop it
i been dodging shit like i did back when i fought margit
stars lit
baby come outside and we can stargaze
im out smoking on the balcony come and join me
i wont jump fr

and with this circumstance, hope you think we should stay together
cause these dreams hurt so much
i miss you so much
and that’s my bad for thinking that i would be better after the mountain trip
i miss myself so much
and then you call my phone
i’m off the medicine
and i’ll sell my songs
so you’ll have a place to live
cause my heart is full
and my brain turned mush
hope you know when i’m gone
that i did all i could

loose change (p. under the maple tree)

tell me how it feels so i can feel it
shawty fuck w me cuz im the realest
twisting up my words make me villain
i think this blunt is laced cuz i’ve been nodding off
never date a crow again not at all
swear u love to act like that n piss me off
put ur lips around it cuz it gets me off
swervin in this traffic people flip me off

im off a bean
keep my brothers wit them poles around me
people glazing but i don’t know what they see
yea im coughing when im smoking on this weed
coughing up they’d think its a disease
chopper make ‘em dance like holding pee
i’m young n grinding like the kids in factories
they see me shining n they hating what they see
just get me high
and touch the sky
liquor in my cup the man inside the mirror  looking perfect
i love the feeling but i don’t know if it’s worth-
just get me high
and touch the sky
liquor in my cup the man inside the mirror  looking perfect
i love the feeling but i don’t know if it’s worth it

tell me how it feels so i can feel it
shawty fuck w me cuz im the realest
twisting up my words make me villain
i think this blunt is laced cuz i’ve been nodding off
never date a crow again not at all
swear u love to act like that n piss me off
put ur lips around it cuz it gets me off
swervin in this traffic people flip me off

flip me off

flip me off (sustain)

lyrics<3

more than friends back then
now we’re not good
mixing thoughts up in head
like i said i would
laying roses on the bed when i walk thru

wash it away like the sins of a martyr
thirsty for my blood im a lamb to your slaughter
dont need any love so i dont know why i bother
pushing till you shove, i fell deep into your water 

think twice
next time you worry about me
girl ill be alright
i wear my heart on my sleeve
and idk why
ur always there in my dreams
when im falling asleep 
ur the ghost in my sheets 
its not easy being someome you dont want now
and its freezing, guess thats why i never go out
fight the feeling 
got me waiting for the comedown
every week,
i pave the streets of this ghostown

baby not thats not love
you leave me evrry other day
tried to lift u up
but you dont wanna have it that way
i wont stick around till you break
my lifes an endless cycle, im a moth to your flame

i wish the process wasent so hard
cuz everytime i tried to quit i hit the restart

overcome with guilt while I’m gassing up my room, I know that it won’t help 
but im scared to face the truth

ghost town [under the maple tree]

P. nomansland 

Support my friend enyu!

https://on.soundcloud.com/qUpx1yH6fYpXyzuuwE


Lyrics~

(Swamp) 

My lifes in a spiral 
And I just can’t seem to catch a break
When I tried this shit the passive way 
they hit me at a faster pace 
It was a massacre up there on that caligo hill
Sends A shiver down your serabelem, signal the chills 

Ok yeah I’m back up on attack, there’s just no foldin us 
Grab that ammo load it up 
It’s gettin kinda quiet on this California western front 
Give it all you can until you can’t and hope the war is almost done 
Shell shocked, you’ve had enough 

There you go, you’re telling yourself that never again 
Will you put you’re life on the edge for something that somebody said 
The battle goes on in your head 
And shurly you’ll face a certain death 
But I guess you love that shit because you never left 

(Enyu)

Loaded chambers caught in a deadlock
choke on me like a tight knot
rewinding all of my future plans
hailing down on me till my heart stop
yeah, but i’m still in it
guess i’m twisted
drawn to where i fucking bled
need some god to grant my wishes
rather than be fucking dead

i scrape my wounds when its dark
a shiver down my extremities
and while the whole world fell apart
i stand upfront with serenity
and when I turn around
the time has come for confession
to learn a beautiful lesson
i’m heading outbound
to fend off my imperfections

(Swamp)

Hopefully when the dust settles I’ll be alright 
All intact and alive 
The only loss being time 
Trying to figure out another way to save myself 
From the war in my head, it’s been a living hell

never ending spiral w/ enyu

rock bottom

for business inquiries- notaherosmusic@gmail.com


socials: