talking on the phone everynight
i just wanna vc till its bright outside
shes my e girlfriend
i dont want us to end
yeah my friends at school
they just dont understand

shes my pocket sage
play with her everyday
my friends they say im fucking lame
they cant stop me from my edate

got my pc on
esex all night long
id give anything
just dont do me wrong
id give all my time
just to make u mine
i hit up ur cord
like what we do this time
we got matching pfps
and our bios both the same
she my goth abg
i know they all act the same
when she talk to other guys
i think ima blow my brains
see her in a vc
i think ima go insane

pocket sage [+ deadyami]

i havent felt real since 2017

You said that you'd never forget me
"Make sure that you never come back to me
Because that's what you need, so"
I guess i don't mind that.
Never mind that
I Never stop that
You never stop shit, but you say you stopped that
Did i get that? "Did you get that?" I've been hearing you, I don't wanna get that.

i forced myself to say bad things just so she could move on
Do i regret it?
Yes baby, I already dread it
I-I always wanna see you smile, so I'll go and make you hate my guts
Cause, I know you'll come back
You've always been silly like that.

You've been gone so long, I miss your face
I've been tryna clean the blood up, but there's still a trace
You don't know me.
You don't know that.
All this fucking dumb shit you don't get that.

You've always made me feel so good, i cant explain it.
You can paint me as the asshole ,
If that means you can get better.

I hate it, its always in my mind
always replaying thoughts that i cant make you mine.

Want it all to stop-stop
Never wanna talk-talk
Crying alone at night cause you never give a fuck
"You're annoying." Trust i get that "Disappointing." I already know that-that
I can't stand, when you talk, when you lie, its always in my mind

I'll confess cause you're not around that i made you hate my guts
At least at the end.
Always wanted more than friends
So i guess it sucks i had to take another step

Hurt me just so you could get better.

being over obsessive and dependant ruined my life

we made this like 2 months ago 

prod by. @deadyami

w/ @akira3ksucks

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/44nIhegzZLQSoC5buGanGh?si=fb18ebd3a9134411

pwnd/
I know it's hard for me to give a single fuck 
When I wake up I'm always thinking bout' us
Taking tablets knowing that I'll end up in a rush
But if you call me back I will be singing about us
I was sober until I met this girl 
She told me run the way I'd fuck up your world
But I'm stupid I like watching my life burn
But that's what I get and why it still hurts
I'd sing you're name during this song
But I know you would just sing along 
Keep messing with me you're in the wrong
And that's why I still pick up you're calls

redize/
I'm left on read again
I'm still seeing red I guess, but just know
I'm still mad about it I can't help from shouting
About all the bullshit that you wrote
How could I forget about you said 
I'm feeling left for dead 
Yeah I hope you know
Yeah I hope you know, yeah I hope you know
I'd sing you're name during this song
But I know that you'd just sing along 
Keep messing with me you're in the wrong
That's why I still pick up you're calls

Care abt us

Care abt us w/pwnd [+ deadyami]

(odihu) 
if i had a choice i would steal ur heart
i would break it to pieces and tear it apart
i want you to rot and cluster
my goal is to make you suffer
i know that im the bad guy
i shouldnt be on this side
but i just want you to die
cause you ruined my life

(hxnterbtw)
i fucked up again
and im really fucking sorry
i should just be dead
i only want your love please

i know i shouldnt be like this
im just a useless piece of shit
i always end up ruining it
and baby just give me one kiss

(odihu)
 i dont think that ill get better 
i gotta find something to do
my therapist says that i should leave my wrist alone
but cutting keeps my mind off of you

rot and cluster ft hxnterbtw

prod by me.
cover art by me.
w/ @haunted_sad

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/40NhgfTYY3VRBYpFF9gYdx?si=vuWtjkVGQya_ugSwx9Aktg

redize/
What a perfect way to end things
I'll end it all I can't help myself
I've been throught this before I can live without
This other bullshit

Not tryna go through all this again
You say I'm the worst but does that mean ur the best?
I can't think I'm taking sedatives to the head
I won't try to make up for the things I did

haunted/
And yeah I've been running out of time, baby
The death clock it keeps on ticking 
These emotions I have, yeah, they are livid
All these visions of my death they're are vivid
You stabbed my heart in front of me
I watched myself dying every fkn day
I thought girl that u were fkn cool :(( 
Yeah ur the one that just made me end it 


redize/
Thought I had the balls to tell you sooner
But I waited so long why am I such a loser?
I try to keep it all to myself and not ask for help
K I lied, or maybe once a few times
But it will all get better, just don't ever say never
cause there's no better endeavor in life

redize/
Not tryna go through all this again
You say I'm the worst but does that mean ur the best?
I can't think I'm taking sedatives to the head
I won't try to make up for the things I did

Not tryna go through all this again
You say I'm the worst but does that mean ur the best?
I can't think I'm taking sedatives to the head
I won't try to make up for the things I did

haunted/
And yeah I've been running out of time, baby
The death clock it keeps on ticking 
These emotions I have, yeah, they are livid
All these visions of my death they're are vivid
You stabbed my heart in front of me
I watched myself dying every fkn day
I thought girl that u were fkn cool :(( 
Yeah ur the one that just made me end it

a perfect way to end things

a perfect way to end things w/hauntedsad

basically the past month of my life as a song

take my life and rewind
it haunts me every time 
cus everybody knows
that i wanna fucking die
put ur arms around my body
and tell me that u love me
cus u dont want me to die
uve seen the cuts all on my body
.
take medicine to help me with my sickness
but nothin ever works thats why i gotta slit my wrists up
and ill take hallucinogenics
so my days just go by quicker
but i end up needin more cus im jus gettin even sicker

my life demo

adult films w/ humanendeavour

prod me idk how to play guitar sorry ://
​​​scrolling twitter every day
​its slowly making me insane
​ur fucking with my brain
​through my phone
​in the back of the class
​i feel like shit every day
​i rly just cant wait to go home
​im refreshing threads
​n my brain is dead
​i asked if u were fine
​and then u left me on read
​ive never known how
​to stop from breaking down
​a random face in the crowd
​do u see me now
​​SHES THE VALEDICTIORIAN
​​AND I JUST WANNA BE BORN AGAIN
​​IM STUCK IN CLASS LEARNING CRT
​​U MOVED ON WAY TOO FAST FOR ME

student bodies

Van Called Karma is a hook-heavy pop-punk snapshot of late nights turning into lifelines: quarter-life detours, city escapes, real friends over performative ones, and love that survives distance. Big choruses, bright guitars, gang vocals—parking-lot energy pressed to wax. It ends where every good set does: we make it to the bridge, together.

We Still Know the Words

living in this hell hole
i dont think i can pass by
lifes been killing me
i hate this life
its always something bad
no matter the cost
cant stand on my ground
everything makes me fall

tell me
what is lifes purpose?
if we just slave away our lives
my head is hurting
i know ill die all alone
it makes me nervous
i live just like a robot 
im not a person

dark clouds cover me
anywhere i go
theres really no hope
salvaging my bones
upon this water i cant float

im confused 
what do we do from here?
im filled with sorrow
and im scared of my peers

the devils got a deathwish
and i think he cursed me
i need an angel by my side
lord have mercy

will this end tomorrow?
is this for eternity?
evilness just follows
everywhere i seem to be

put me in a casket
and ill be happy
everyones watching me burn
and theyre laughing

what is lifes purpose?

rock and roller on the interwebss.

I prod most my stuff.