empty (prod. by dennydarko_beats)

outmyhead

Indie Pop, Dreampop, Hypnagogic Pop, Neo-Psychedelica, Chillwave, Jangle Pop, Indie Rock, Shoegaze, Bedroom Pop, Alternative

chapter one

This song is about my bipolar disorder. Over the past few months, I've been pulling myself out of a really depressive state and have learned so much. I feel like such a happier person (Not just because of the mania) because of what I've learned. The problem with where I'm at is that I've been feeling a lot of anxiety (Due to mania). This song expresses that I'm doing so well, but there's always the threat of anxiety striking.

In the chorus, I talk about how if I don't take care and control this mania, I'll burn myself out and crash into a depressive state worse than most. I've been on such a high for so long that I'm afraid that the next flip is going to crush me. A part of me wants to just run with the mania and see how far it takes me. It would feel so great for a short period of time, and I want that instant gratification. However, I know that will only lead to me getting emotionally hurt (And possibly physically as well). I also feel like if I ride this high without caution I'll end up forgetting all the lessons I've learned that's put me in the mental state I'm in right now.

Lyrics:

Stuck in my mind
Yet I'm feeling fine
No longer lying
When I tell you that I have been trying
I tell you, lately, I'm still going crazy
Nothing's gonna stop me now that I'm pacing
Every day's just another lap in this race, and
Cruise control's off, I'm not stuck in a stasis

I ain't tryna stop, I ain't slowing down
I'm only going faster, break the speed of sound
My ears are gonna pop, getting further from the ground
Started liftoff, my heart begins to pound

If I don't slow, I know I'm gonna crash
I've been hitting this high, yeah, I know it won't last
I'll get a heartache and I know it won't pass
But for now, it pounds like a 'Rari, so fast
Or if I speed up, if I hit the gas
I'm a devil on the road, all my limits I've surpassed
But in the end, I'll be the one in dead last
Everything I've learned, gone and thrown in the trash

Stuck in my mind
Yet I'm feeling fine
No longer lying
When I tell you that I have been trying
I tell you lately, I'm still going crazy
Nothing's gonna stop me now that I'm pacing
Every day's just another lap in this race, and
Cruise control's off, I'm not stuck in a stasis

If I don't slow, I know I'm gonna crash
I've been hitting this high, yeah, I know it won't last
I'll get a heartache and I know it won't pass
But for now it pounds like a 'Rari, so fast
Or if I speed up, if I hit the gas
I'm a devil on the road, all my limits I've surpassed
But in the end, I'll be the one in dead last
Everything I've learned, gone and thrown in the trash

Supercar (Prod. pizzaccio)

Lifetime lie 



Let’s just bury your lie by closing our eyes.
There's truly no alternative now.
It’s your fault, you see.
I’ve been trying to forgive you.
But this wound hits my ego too keen.
I feel absolutely shattered.
I can’t bear our gaze to ever convene.
Your tears and your pleading don’t give me pleasure.
Answer yourself, is he any better, at all?
Was any of this worth your poor measure?
Bitch!
I’m trapped in this vicious circle, the angels descended from Heaven, yet I’m the demon in their midst.
A lightning strike on the very spot where I stand, not once, but a hundred times.
Your betrayal stings right at my sense of pride.
But my feelings won't let me leave you on the other side.
It’s a dead-end, a cruel tie.
This is pain for an age, a lifetime lie.
I tried to make the best of it.
But the truth just feels like cold cement.
Every whisper now is a fractured sentiment.
And I cannot unsee what you meant.
Did you always feel that something was missing in your heart?
Why did you keep silent from the very start?
I lived for you, with every single part.
And what happens now, where do we take this art?
How absurd and silly, they say a man is monogamous by design.
And this is the final score. My control, refined.
And your betrayal of what was meant to be mine.
Wailing, you whisper, “Just kill me, I deserve my due.”
But I don’t wish death upon you, I simply do not.
I just wish to leave, to flee, to sink through the earth to escape this rot.
Let’s just bury your lie by closing our eyes.
I’m trapped in this vicious circle, the angels descended from Heaven, yet I’m the demon in their midst.
A lightning strike on the very spot where I stand, not once, but a hundred times.
Your betrayal stings right at my sense of pride.
But my feelings won't let me leave you on the other side.
It’s a dead-end, a cruel tie.
This is pain for an age, a lifetime lie.
Let’s just bury your lie by closing our eyes.

Lifetime Lie.mp3

I Just Want to Hide

IMPRESS MYSELF

Lyrics : 

It arrives, unexpected  
Like a guillotine, like a mirage  
It falls relentless, no escape  
It haunts your waking, your sleep, your thoughts  

It ignites with a glance  
A vital spark, unmanageable  
Like a truck bearing down  
Walls collapse, barriers dissolve  
  
Let's talk about love  
The kind that hides in corners  
Invisible, inevitable  
Blind or fleeing, it finds you stronger  
  
Two beings never meant to meet  
Yet in the immensity, a miracle is born  
Then comes the wave, trembling  
A nausea of happiness, surprise, uncertainty  
  
The tidal surge turns everything upside down  
And strangely, back into place  
The tremors of the deepest self  
Defenses crumble  
  
Let's talk about love  
Born when nothing was expected  
In idleness, in refusal  
Until the sudden awakening, face to face  
  
Then butterflies, passion, irrational fire  
The heart erupting  
Jerky earthquakes, interrupted by dreams  
We dare to imagine  
  
It grows in silence,  
Between shadows and light  
It whispers in the night,  
It shouts in daylight  
No rules, no reason,  
Only the pulse of fusion  
  
Let's talk about love  
Shared beyond safeguards, beyond reason  
Let's talk about love  
The kind that burns and heals together  
  
Storms and calm,  
Collisions and peace  
Every heartbeat,  
A universe released  
Love is chaos,  
Love is grace  
  
Let's talk about love  
The kind that breaks and rebuilds  
Let's talk about love  
The kind that makes us real  
Let's talk about love  
Love.  
  
It arrives, unexpected  
Walls collapse, barriers dissolve  
Let's talk about love...  
Love.

About Love


Busy old sun, breaking through my blinds
Why do you insist on waking us this time?
Do lovers have to live by your command?
Must we rise and fall by your hand?

Go bother schoolkids dragging to their desks
Go wake the workers grinding through their shifts
Go tell the bosses that the day begins
But leave us here in darkness skin on skin

Love doesn't answer to the clock
Love doesn't care about your time
We make our own hours within these bounds
So busy old sun, go do your rounds
Busy old sun, go do your rounds
Busy old sun…
Busy old sun…

You predictable fool with your reliable rise
Your punctual arc across the skies
We don't need your light to know what's real
We' make our own heat the better to feel

So go chase the farmers to their fields
Go hurry merchants through their deals
Go rule the world that lives by your design
But you've got no power in this space of mine

Love doesn't answer to the clock
Love doesn't care about your time
We make our own hours within these bounds
So busy old sun, go do your rounds
Busy old sun, go do your rounds
Busy old sun…
Busy old sun

Busy Old Sun

Cheap Trills

Brighter Days is the result of a long stretch of overthinking, refining, doubting, and quietly asking myself what “good enough” really means. Maybe it isn’t, or maybe it always was, I’m still not sure. I’ve realised the only way to actually move forward is to accept that something is finished, even if it never feels perfect.

I once read a quote that said all great art is abandoned, not completed, and that idea stuck with me. So in that spirit, I’m abandoning Brighter Days here for you to listen to. It’s a small step, but an important one, and hopefully the start of letting more music go out into the world instead of holding it hostage on my hard drive.

Brighter Days

Just a guy with a voice. If my music speaks to you, that means the world to me

Supercar (Prod. pizzaccio)

Reveilution

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