i know that i'm sad but still smile when we kiss, i got scars on my arm from those nights i gave in :(

Glass Heart

guitar by @pekarot_161
this is for the OG listeners, I love you all from the bottom of my heart. 

lyrics:

i don’t know where i came from
only where i’ve been 
i could scratch out my eyes
when i’m feeling like this 
i can’t breathe since you left
i got cuts on my fist 
and they hurt (they hurt)
they hurt (they hurt) 

and i know that i’m sad but still smile when we kiss
i got scars on my arm from those nights i gave in 
and then you said forever but now you’re with him
and it burns (it burns)
it burns (it burns) 

but those scars on my arm 
they tell you a story
since 14 years old
they’ve been coming for me
i’m not what you want
so just throw me aside
and i’m old enough now
so i’ll wipe my eyes

and i’m praying to god
that i’ll just get better
i’ll hide in my car 
and sleep on the leather
i love you to death 
from now to december
this ones for the grayfox fans 
love you forever 

and now i’ve learned 
i’ll never be first 
but at least i’ve turned
my life around,
look at me now 
x2

look at me now
look at me now
look at me now
not 100% but i’m still here 
so look at me now 
x4

lookatmenow (pekarot)

shoutout to killedmyself, didn't know all those beats were up on sc

lyrics

telling me that i was just a fucking addict
guess u were right cause i could never fucking hack it
every morning, grab the palms n i just pack it
i wish sobriety was something i could manage
i wrap the blunt up nice and neat like its a package
i light it up, its in my lungs this shit is banging
i pulled up late into the scene but came in savage
burnt the blunt at both ends more than i can manage

i still remember crushing benzos on her ipad
out the back and smoking cigarettes with ur dad
i wanna know if i was ever part of ur plan
19, music dreams, yeah im all that

i hp it wsnt as bad 4 u (killedmyself)

produced by hiraeth

remember to wash the socks u came in

And its so obvious
How can you not see me
See me
If I ran away would you need me ?
Played your last messages on repeat
This the last time that you’ll see me

So let me down
Pull me out
Of this hole im in
Baby would you cave it in 
What is happening
I can’t believe I shat again :p!!
Blood is everywhere
Im crawling out of bed again

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Trying to run from the past
Tell me how hard does it get now
Living to die in a bed
No in-between to forget now
Call me when all of it ends
Im putting a gun to my he’d now

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

newmaker

Lyrics, Credits and Description Below.

>> producer - @metlast <<

+ vocals - @nevermadeithome - master +

Lyrics:

+ nevermadeithome: +

what would it mean 
to you 
if we fell out and broke up 
and would u be 
confused 
totally upset and feel used 
and would u be 
in a mood 
would u come back 
in second or two
would u want to redo 
or move on and pretend we dont know eachtoher 

ima light a match for u 
and hope that light burns long 
and if goes out right away 
then i know that u r thinking of me 
u haunt me in my dreams
so i guess that makes it a nightmare 
i wake up sweating in the night 
turn my lamp on and ur right there

Description:

I tried creating a really sad break up song and this is the finishing product <3.

whatwoulditmean [metlast]

lyrics

if theres a light she gon snuff it out
if theres a heart she gon rip it out
brick walls and a mattress on the basement floor
the worst part is i bet she didnt even think at all
think to call
think to care
would u even care
u got skeletons theyre hiding underneath the stairs
she got patience for everyone but me
im just stating facts
we wasnt meant to last

if theres a light she gon snuff it out
if theres a heart she gon rip it out
and im just cold waiting for the sound
dont hmu if ur back in town

1000 miles from ur house thats up the mountains
we say our parts and the tears come like a fountain
broken hearts keep a list cus she been counting 
my head is sore could u try and keep it down
i been moving on
think im going strong
but the damage has been done
and it was fucking wrong
ay i put i on faith
u wont recognize my face
too much has fucking changed
and i dont look the same anymore

and if theres a light she gon snuff it out
if theres a heart she gon rip it out
im just cold waiting for the sound
dont hmu if ur back in town

i dont look the same anymore (pekarot)

prod. me x @hiraethsry

And I will love you 'til I'm broken by the weight
Of everything I've ever wanted and how it all has your name
I am trying, I am shaking, I am crying, I am breaking
Every second, every minute, I'm so tired, why's it raining
Baby, kiss me just to kiss me, not to take me home tomorrow
I am drunk and I am bleeding in your apartment, in the shadow
Of what we were when we were young
And you don't remember my name
And I'm so sorry, and I'm so sorry

And when I'm leaving, I'll pretend like I don't give a damn
But it's been four years, I just wanna hold your hand
It's been four years, don't know who I fucking am
Oh, oh
And when you're begging me to stay, I'll never listen
I guess it takes four years to know the difference
You knew me better than anyone and you hated me
So how the fuck am I supposed to love myself

And I will love you 'til I'm broken by the weight
Of everything I've ever wanted and how it all has your name
I am trying, I am shaking, I am crying, I am breaking
Every second, every minute, I'm so tired, why's it raining

I am drunk and I am bleeding in your apartment, in the shadow
Of what we were when we were young
And you don't remember my name
And I'm so sorry, and I'm so sorry

YOUDONTREMEMBERMYNAME

track 2 
prod speedlmt 
mixed + mastered by me 

and i’m right on ur street 
and i’d love to see u bleed
and i’ve learned so many things 
since we last met
i can’t wait to show u 

and i smile as you scream 
cus i’ve lost everything 
this means nothing to me 
so if u beg 
i’ll blind u with this irony 

ive killed 3 men for u my love
and i would kill again 
i’ve seen so many people run
i wipe my tears and repent 
and u tell me 
that i will be just fine 
but i wont 
unless you come here 
i promise i wont hurt u
and u tell me that i’m evil
i said i know
i’m obsessed with ur perfume

 and i’m right on ur street 
and i’d love to see u bleed
and i’ve learned so many things 
since we last met
i can’t wait to show u 

and i smile as you scream 
cus i’ve lost everything 
this means nothing to me 
so if u beg 
i’ll blind u with this irony

killer, pt2 (speedlmt)

https://fanlink.to/lfadb
guitar by @kill_vein

i’m just trying to find
a reason to care
i once believed in a god till i cried out to him
and nobody was there

a burden on my brain
that isnt going away
and now i’m looking for reasons
that i shouldn’t need this
but i can’t turn away

i know i said the last time
that i wouldn’t relapse
but now i’m standing
on my deathbed
and i don’t want to stay
when i've always been this way

i know i said the last time
that i wouldn’t go back
but now it’s been 3 nights
at the hotel we met at
and you’re not here with me
but the memory remains

and as i took my last line
i was approaching the light
you laid your head next to mine
what a beautiful sight

i made up my mind
i’m friending i’m fried
i don’t need these drugs
i just need your love

ive got no reason to hide
tell momma i’m fine
it’ll be ok down the line
but i’m tired of trying

i know i said the last time
that i wouldn’t relapse
but now i’m standing
on my deathbed
and i don’t want to stay
when i've always been this way

i know i said the last time
that i wouldn’t go back
but now it’s been 3 nights
at the hotel we met at
and you’re not here with me
but the  memory remains

letterfromadeathbed (prod. heffy & killvein)

guitar by @imcaves
rest is me
something told me i should put this out now, so here you go
hope you enjoy .
retention 8/26

totally unprepared
faces shapeshifting around me
i tell myself, don't be scared
only what i think can hurt me
but every night's harder than the last
(the last)
(the last)
(the last)
i let my spirit shatter just like glass
(like glass)
(like glass)
i stood up again last night
i couldn't close my eyes
no matter how much i cried
i tried
i tried...
night.

spirit trash

i’ve been meaning to call you 
to tell you everything i said 
but i’m feeling so blind 
and you’re out of your mind 
so it’s best that i leave it 

didn’t mean to fall for you 
you let me go when i was on the edge 
and this waters so cold
i won’t pick up my phone 
when you call, i wont see it 

and i hate this weather 
i just wish it was spring again 
when things were okay
i was off of my meds
and the world had gone crazy 

we just stayed in all day 
and i let you tattoo my hands 
now i can’t look at them 
a pair of black gloves 
heal my wounds, and i hate me 

and i’ll be 
right here 
anything you want you got it 
i’ll be right there 
youre toxic 
it’s not fair 
and the trees outside my house 
are now stripped bare 

i miss spring 
you’re not here
everything’s so temporary 
and its not fair 

your smiles sweet 
i love your hair 
and the smell of your clothes in my room 
it still lives here

spring. (+ pekarot)

sadchill - https://youtu.be/7ZTyeyAf800?si=5q_CUKhWuS3d1mpj

lyrics⬇️

stay up lately wait until we grow
changing pages saving where you show
please dont leave me here out in the cold
last i heard you hadnt let me go

wish i could cover my eyes
spent 5 months wondering why
i let you into my life
and now i gotta redesign
told me we dont got have much time
let me look bavk in ur eyes
always had thought you loved me
now im just sorry company

wait til i come out from hiding
ill find the brightest star shining
Beautiful eyes in any lighting
nothing to find but-tired of fighting

but it made sense when you left me the first time
even on the third time
but that wasnt the worst time
no that wasnt the worst time

left me on the roadside
never heard from you ever since
wish i never lost my mind
thats really all that i did

sorry company w/sadchill (greenwood)

Lyrics:

telling me to get a bag
when it's all that i've been chasing
set for a whole damn week
i ain't stood on my own in a minute
never sober in the club on sum lsd
been at war with the parasite taking me over
i'll void all the things that i wish i had told her
guess that i'll live and i'll die as a loner
the bugs in my skin found their peace and a home here
feel so damn strange on my own two feet
you need direction
you need a feat?
i do not know why you're talking to me
and she won't hit my phone till she's horny in heat
i hear her voice even deep in the beat
i hear it so clearly inside of my dreams
think i'm imagining things
if you're gonna bluff then i think i'll find somewhere and leave

she's just another fucking enzyme
a girl i should forget i'm
lost inside my own mind
i can't meet a deadline
even when i set mine
hang by river styx my love and we could watch the world die
if you'd like the ether
I wonder if in a few years
She’ll still be stealing my sleep
i wonder if in a few years
i'll still live life on repeat
i wonder if in a few years
you'll be invading my dreams
i wonder if in a few years
you'll fall right back onto me

telling me to get a bag
when it's all that i've been chasing
set for a whole damn week
i ain't stood on my own in a minute
never sober in the club on sum lsd
been at war with the parasite taking me over
i'll void all the things that i wish i had told her
guess that i'll live and i'll die as a loner
the bugs in my skin found their peace and a home here
feel so damn strange on my own two feet
you need direction
you need a feat?
i do not know why you're talking to me
and she won't hit my phone till she's horny in heat
i hear her voice even deep in the beat
i hear it so clearly inside of my dreams
think i'm imagining things
if you're gonna bluff then i think i'll find somewhere and leave

styx

I Need To Sleep Better

Group Therapy (Entire Project)

produced by: @yunnygoldz
featuring: @lilskeleskrrt

lyrics:

// flowrs // 

it’s so degrading 
the way you say that
you know what you want,
and you don’t want to love me

you’re so persuading,
i fuckin hate it
when you say those things
that you know 
fucking cut me 

our love is fading
and you’re evading
all these cloudy thoughts 
cus you’re so fucking lucky

just fucking say it
can’t catch a wave
so i’ll just stay afloat
cus you’re swimming above me 

fuck you,
fuck him 
fuck everything,
every thought,
don’t wanna ever think you’re fine,
i know i’m not 
tell me does he 
love you
the same way that you
loved me
i hope you fucking die 
i swear to god
i’ll kill you with my own two hands
you went too far 

but i’m here
and you’re there 
and you tell me 
that it’ll be okay 
you’re a tumour 
i can’t see you
but you kill me more
every single day 

// skele // 

it’s so frustrating 
how you push me away 
then you’re pulling me back by the end of the day 
it’s so annoying 
how u say that u need me 
then act like u hate me 
i’m tired of waiting 

so why u got act all mad for 
tell me that ur needing more 
why u gotta slam the car door 
n now ur taking off my shirt on your floor 
but i’m here 
and you’re there 
and you tell me that it’ll be okay
i don’t care

// flowrs //

but i’m here
and you’re there 
and you tell me 
that it’ll be okay 
you’re a tumour 
i can’t see you
but you kill me more
every single day

lookatmenow (pekarot)

sendflowrs

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medium sean archive [2017-2024]

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