w/ @sleepywater <3
prod @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~

easy to target
swear i’ve been honest
i’m still tryna rejuvenate
from the memories last august
ink drip from the ceiling
familiar feelings
to take time is to realize
what it really means to be healing

knees go numb when i reach for the shelf
there’s an old song that speaks of myself
but i’ve lost it; my subconscious 
won’t take away this blockage
it’s irritating; the way i hate it
all you are is full of nonsense

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

i’m unfair & i know it
frustration; i bestow it
i’m shaking baby, yeah i’m aching,
maybe this is punishment for the broken
the sight that i see through my eye 
isn’t blind
a sigh of relief comforted by a lie
i can’t really take it, 
the pace that i’m making is 
turning me into the me i despise

fuck, i'll turn my back on ur ass & won't
 give it a thought or the time of the day
it doesn't matter, the wounds & the plaster are begging me
“autumn, you just gotta change”
if i go any faster, my body will splatter
 yet i'll be alive, put me outta the pain 
i pick up the fragments of me that just happen
to still be in tact, even after the rain

everything i spew out
i tell the same story
bout how you don't want me
never ever want me
how comes ur all up on me
i pull u, you don’t pull me
im stressed out, can't relax
another pill, i might relapse

i just don’t get it how this life
taught revenge and left me behind
no time to cry…
cause in the end you’ll be fine

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

wounds & plaster w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

produced by taurs

and it’s cold here
so grab your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

and my head spins
when we are together 
you never show me love, 
despite that, you’re so special to me 
got ugly eyes, im not the guy you fell for
but i could try my best 
if you give me a chance and don’t leave 

callin, callin callin again
why the fuck are you still stalling?
those texts you left unread 
i can’t avoid the hole, i fall in
fall in to the abyss 
my chest caves in when you call me 
the one that you regret 
i’m so tired of ur shit

and it’s cold here
so bring your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

you were the cruel type
i know you hate me you didn’t have to say it two times ): 
i can’t stay here anymore
my veins are blue, i
guess i’ll just lay here in the snow and watch the moon rise

ugly eyes (taurs)

Lyrics

wishing on stars every night
cosmic the light from your eyes
it hurts so much when we say goodbye
But i know were better with time

and if i could hold you tonight
I know that id be alright
And Id know that im still alive

Id know that i

And if i
Could hold you tonight
Id be alright
id know im alive

and if i
Could hold you tonight
Id be alright 
know im alive

you’re best alone for the week
Cos i know you’re fed up with me
You say “its fine watchyu mean”
But i think your lying to me

And if i 
Could hold you tonight
id be alright
id know im still alive

Oh if i
Hold you tonight
Id be alright
id know im alive

alive (theoptimist)

Outside like the plants and trees
I'm outside with the steel in links
I'm outside walking by myself
Like there's nobody out for me
Looking in the endless foggy water finding things
Tossed the piece and parts into the cauldron and the steam
It doesn't eat in objects more-so small internal things
Most delicious parts of it are parts you cannot see

I stay up
It's such a late hour when i stay up
Until I hear the birds chirping and I get all depressed
Then I guilt myself about it
Then rush myself to bed
Think I missed you once again
And I heard the callin I just hope that I can find it
In the faint and silent signals of the universe
And i dont wanna act so ignorant and come off callous
So I ask for nothing in return

Outside like the plants and trees
I'm outside with the steel in links
I'm outside walking by myself
Like there's nobody out for me
Looking in the endless foggy water finding things
Tossed the piece and parts into the cauldron and the steam
It doesn't eat in objects more-so small internal things
Most delicious parts of it are parts you cannot see

Yeah, i tripped on myself oh jeez
I hope i know you when im 70
I just get scared when everythings ok
I don't mean to attention seek

it went over me and stuck to my heart like a curse

scary games with the lights off

Sourface

bevwalk (prod. vinogradov)

Bitcrush

Killyou

“produced” by me

and i know that i’ll get better, but i won’t hold my breath,
every day that i’m inside another day in my head,
i’ll just sit inside, these tears i cry, they spill on your dress,
think i need to go and sit outside so i’ll call my friends

and lately i’ve been worried that the only thing i love is slippin away from me,
don’t fall for me,
i try; i can’t fall asleep,
and i stress way too much these days i thought i was getting better
but in my heart i’ll be okay because i’ve firmed much stronger weather 
and i don’t feel any release when i write a song, i won’t lie
only time i feel okay, 
is when i’m holding on to a knife
and i wont ever put you down by running my mouth,
i’ll make sure that he regrets every sick word that he spouts 

and i know that i’ll get better, but i won’t hold my breath,
every day that i’m inside another day in my head,
i’ll just sit inside, these tears i cry, they spill on your dress,
think i need to go and sit outside so i’ll call my friends

release

prod. by me

big big thanks to @softhert for jumping on this track

eyes low (ft. Softheart)

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just happy to be here