Ouch

are you fine 
no im elated 
wont go outside 
my own vacation 
sucked me dry 
my soul is vacant 
everyday it feels the same and 

i wake up and then i hate it 
then i get high up in the basement 
tell my parents i’ll be late then 
i come home on time
just to avoid a conversation 

whats it like in that little mind
i ask myself that all the time
disassociated last weekend
so im not sure whose even speaking
right now im just barely tweaking
without rhyme and without reason

i’ll lose basis of all meaning
convince my thoughts their little demons
i’ll destroy my life just fine
but in the mean time i’ll just cry
/
i’ll destroy my life on my own accord
but right now, im just bored

just bored

i'm in love with a ghost
i've got a heartache i've got it all
when she had nowhere to go
she phased right through me and now she's gone

so, touch me baby the way you do
your body's gone and my soul is blue
we're miles away but i'm done complaining
don't know you, honey, but god, do i miss you
you
do i miss you
you

i'm in love with a ghoul
with crazy hair and these deep brown eyes
we used to run 'round the school
now we live under different skies

so, touch me baby, the way you do
your body's gone and my soul is blue
we're miles away but i'm done complaining
don't know you, honey, but god, do i miss you
you
do i miss you
you

i've been waiting and chasing, honey
my heart's been aching for something new
waiting and chasing, honey
my heart's been aching for somebody like you
 
(oh i miss you)
you
do i miss you (i miss you, i miss you ahh)
you

i’m in love with a ghost

better be busy
metabolism myths
i read
my head

bet it gets dizzy
with all the rations split
my ribs 
too big

aAaAaaAAaaaaAaaA
AaaAaAAAaAAA

i know you want to
but dont really want to

let me leave myself alone
let me leave myself alone
let me leave myself alone
(let me leave myself alone
let me leave myself alone)

bet im so pretty
chiseling with the pick
i lack
i have

better be empty
the simulation spits
image
digeee
EEEeeeeeeSSST

don’t know the half of
not wanting half of

let me leave myself alone
let me leave myself alone
let me leave myself alone
(let me leave myself alone
let me leave myself alone)

pokin around

i am willing to lie on the floor with you
are you willing to play dead with me too
i am bloody naked and bruised
and you are drinking with your buddies from duluth
hows the weather
is your brother doing any better
wheres your hide out now
heard you moved out from that side of town
and dont get me started
did you hear about brent and marcus
they killed their families in a fit of passion
last thing that i heard theyre in miami with sebastian hes being courteous 
why cant things work out like that
for us

you think love is earned
you think kisses cost dollars
yea whens it my turn
been in this line for hours
waiting to spend my cupholder dimes
waiting to catch up with this life 
that youve been leading
you say i been falling behind
and youre right i been falling behind

got a feeling 
they were never nice to you
on the playground
in your kahkis
tying your shoes
and you were toothless
ruthless confused
swinging like your daddy taught ya
bet he was proud of you
and i am proud of you

you think love is earned
you think kisses cost dollars
yea whens it my turn
been in this line for hours
waiting to spend my cupholder dimes
waiting to catch up with this life 
that youve been leading
you say i been falling behind
and youre right i been falling behind

and when you moved
you took all of me with you
all of me with you 
except the body
you left body
yea sans the body
come get the body
you forgot the body 

i am so willing 
to lie on this floor

(i am still willing to lie on this floor
i am still willing to lie on this floor)

where was i?
in the chalk outline
where was i?
probably falling behind

(where was i?
willing to lie)

mustard

lyrics be like:

watch as i right on time lose my luster
patina starting to form
when you left did you miss lady liberty,
statue of just because youre bored?

enlightening other streets somewhere pretty
blowing up julia's head
well i would leave so to speak if you wanted me
fade into oblivion instead

this world spins like a centrifuge
find me in the earths core
you in higher altitudes

still i was dreaming
i mean hoping
i mean joking 
you'd come around
cut me some slack
come make me laugh
build me an ark to sleep on

i went westward
putting my best foot forward
have you left yet
know i can still make space in this twin bed
if you ever came around

this world it spins
just like a roundabout
caught you tryna play tag
lost you tryna play house

i’ll assume i’ll get the news some
[redacted] hours after you 
it wont
leave me feeling like it used to 
you don't
leave me feeling like you used to 

and honestly you said best
the only thing you’ll ever need is in a paycheck (ha!)
but when it all starts waning (ha!)
libertas is waiting
to welcome you 
with open arms
like the prodigal prodigal son you are
let me greet you in the evenings
let me orbit round your being

this world it spins just like a centrifuge
calls for another encore
you're fine just call me back soon

i’ll assume i’ll get the news some
[redacted] hours after you 
it wont
leave me feeling like it used to 
you don't (/wont)
leave me feeling like you used to

this world it spins

prodigal, prodigal (draft)

Original song recorded at Future Fields in Burlington, VT. 
Thank you to Dan for recording, mixing, and mastering. 
-------
LYRICS:
buzzed Aldrin to sober Armstrong:
'don't you know that something grave is wrong?
our engine's hot and rotation's weird
as we're drifting through this atmosphere.'

Darling communication is key
we're making love but you don't look at me
we're no astronauts, not play pretend
maybe you're right and this is the end

simulation swarm a matrix hive
don't you know that reality lies?
post-apocalyptic do-or-die
but which one of us will survive

Darling communication is key
we're making love but you don't look at me
I'm no Neo: you're no Trinity
maybe you're right and I should leave

Oh, I love you so
Slow down your words so I won't be alone
Oh I know we won't work as just friends
So is this the end?

you like poems and provolone cheese
I like cheddar and philosophy
if the end would make you happy
I'll do as you please </3
-------

The End

recorded this one when i was 18 with a broken 58 mic lol

lyrics***

time spent faded
starry summer nights with you
and evenings wasting
laying on your bed til 2

well rumors drifting
that you found someone new
and this feeling of missing you

and i’ve been thinking bout you
all that you do and did
and it sucks that i’m falling for you
all over again 

oh just thinking bout you
and the way that you held me like that
but i hate when i’m thinking bout you
cause i wish that you never left

if i let you in again
after all this time i spent
hating you for what you did
and wishing i was over it

well now i’m done with you
you never let me love you
i wish i’d realized what you do
before i fell
before i fell in love with you

paper hearts were ripping at the seems
and plans made, canceled
kissing you on new year’s eve

and now she’s over
and i don’t know what to do
and angers rising
because i’m still in love with you

and i’ve been thinking bout you
all that you do and did
and it sucks that i’m falling for you
all over again 

oh just thinking bout you
and the way that you held me like that
but i hate when i’m thinking bout you
cause i wish that you never left

if i let you in again
after all that time i spent
hating you for what you did
and wishing i was over it

so now i’m done with you
you never let me love you
i wish i’d realized what you do
before i fell
before i fell in love with you

before i fell in love

before i fell in love

Summer 19 new york city
I left the yards and driving far just to feel pretty 
My life became you thought u owned the city 
I tried my best to be the one but u weren’t with me

Im looking for answers
In spite of the signs
like Im only a child
But Im feeling old enough to die 
And wonder if you hate me
And I hope that youre alright 
You know I gotta leave
And youre not coming ‘long this time

The worst 4 years of my life 
And the best lips I ever kissed :(
When I wanna marry you one day
Becomes a how have you been
I can’t see you like that
And I cant see you with him
But if you really need to talk you know where ive been 

u can find me on the dance floor 
We can make up by the bathroom mirror 
You can find me on the way home on L line underneath the tunnel through the East River
!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its over now, its in the past, ill be alright, in a different state !!!!!!
I took a shot, i threw it back, oh what a time, oh what a different place 🐯🫶🎾
bridges burn, table turns, i’ll play that song we used to hate 
Now I only love u through the DJ
☺️☺️☺️☺️🎼🎼🎼🎼😭💿💿💿💿💿

Love U Thru the DJ

Original song written and performed by Paige Thibault.
Recorded at Dubway Studios, NYC, during SOCAPA 3 week music program. Special thanks to Sam Palumbo, Kelley McRae, and Matt McRae. 
LIVE RECORDING : https://youtu.be/Y-jYBzG5kZw

***LYRICS: My tactics are unorthodox / flirting with the beauty I caught / My hint stuck on her bra of lace / she's more than a soft shape below a pretty face // step one / step two
/// We bonded over barefeet / yup that's all we really needed
I said "Girl, just be real with me" / she said "sweet!" and then shoes were off her feet
and alright, alright (+scat)
// Can't tell if she's interested / speaks her mind if I'm the one who's listening / I fade to the background / I'm her lover disguised as her clown / step two / step three
/// We bonded over barefeet / yup that's all we really needed
I said "Girl, just be real with me" / she said "sweet!" and then shoes were off her feet
and alright, alright (+scat)
// High heels - won't you walk my way? That's right gotta come a little closer / Fake nails - what's your real name? No hiding anything no more / I'll open the door if you just choose to get out of the box / I apologize if my tactics are unorthodox
/// We bonded over barefeet / yup that's all  we really needed / I said "Girl just be real with me" / she said "Sweet!" (+scat)
and the shoes were off her
feet.  ***

Bonding over Barefeet

queer la based singer/songwriter
alternative/indie
instagram: ellagrace.music

i wrote, recorded, and produced these songs at home on garage band

if you like what you hear i will record them for real in an actual studio !! <3

before i fell in love

ella grace