(prod. Chill Sebs)

now you see I have a problem
but my mind tells me lies its so hard now, hate me
used to bake in the night, don't forget me
its so sad, but i cry and it breaks me

why is everything so blacked out
I cant even feel my heart, when you're gone now
soul partner, in the night, how did I allow
you to leave me all alone in my sorrows
I'm blinded baby

cant you see
that I love you
now its hard
to get by
without trusting you
(baby)
babe you're so special
now its hard to deny
I don't need you, with me

aches in my bones
cold in the night
heart all alone
you're not by my side

you're precious
sweet as diamonds and candy
I cant imagine you leaving

I'm drowning in our memories
echoes of your touch
sleeping here at night
while you're out having fun
connected like the stars and moon in the night
you're the only one who I love, that's right

baby you're my soul partner, everything
I see when I dream
phone calls, and videos, sent from you to me
every little text I get from you makes me think 
of the little things, you do and how much they mean to me

cant you see
that I love you
now its hard
to get by
without trusting you
(baby)
babe you're so special
now its hard to deny
I don't need you, with me

aches in my bones
cold in the night
heart all alone
you're not by my side

you're precious
sweet as diamonds and candy
I cant imagine you leaving

a place called home (secre)

Wake Up w/ Brecken

produced by @prod-dash 🖤
mv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEgzoEH60Cg

harmonies construct of her in vain,
when i had felt the same, i wonder what you let slip loose
idolized in holistic refrain from scaring you away,
but it was you who had left so soon
redundancy falls on the floors of insult,
diffusion of awe is now subtle appall
when the fracturing stops, he returns to his lot
and continues to watch the forgotten responses

how long has it really been?
on everything i could've been your confidence;
wounded deep, but regardless you were gorgeous
external forces couldn't conquer this fortress,
girl i was all in,
now i'm more of like a martian,
a foreign entity ignored and made of sport in pure extortion
the score depends on those who force it,
but on my life i'll never pry into this systematic fortune

easy aches at your name
november stays, but it's may

he's licking tears and steeling bones
from baring sights of burning homes
and of the counterparts still present, most have nearly decomposed
the oxygen persists, but the fluids marching in
wreak havoc on the aspens, now his blood is wearing thin
the centuries forgot receive his aching and distraught,
converting portions of distortion into frequencies bewrought
the ice goes in by division of his temperance
sickly to this weather, but she ain't even my medicine

it's two-forty-two as the film rolls into view
i beg your pardon, i'm enshrouded by the memories construed
just anyone won't do,
the comfort causes calluses he's unable to move
they stare at him in twos

the burial becomes attraction, and of the visitors, it's nothing but distraction
come one and all, before root is sawed, the chainsaw, it stops,
he of wooden rot, with that pandora's box, reverse the plot
the acid sat within his stomach summits to his top
begone of influence it's over 'fore it had begun
i'll never feel that same alikeness, they just read me wrong,
just to do me wrong

bare trees conceive cold leaves,
you showed me what we couldn't be
washing over me, frostridden stings
that sole breeze had spoke "don't leave"

easy aches at your name
november stays, but it's may

the paneling glows a familiar sequence,
but it's passage won't open to those who would seek it
through timing and tamper he had managed to enter
unaware of it's contents, he treads a bit deeper
in awe of the contrast from seeker to aether
he's welcomed to stay, but he's covered in shivers
for those it abducts are reduced down to neither
so backwards he goes, where his soul doesn't meet her's

come the night i'm allotted what's divine
i got bugs up in my head,
they always scratching, leaving bites
ain't no energy to waste on those unkind
only time you talkin shit is when you're doing it online

november (dash)

took me a bit to make this, but it was a ton of fun to experiment with some new sounds. s/o hero for teaching me about formant shifting /o/ 
I'm gonna try and release 2 songs next month, no guarantee though c:

lyrics:

I would lift your head when the water’s high
I would wrap your hands when you’re cold at night
lay flat on the ground so I break your fall
And I would be alright
I wouldn’t mind at all
I would move the sun when it blinds your sight
I would shoulder your weight and still stand upright
mutilate my body if my skin’s not right for you
if you were by my side 
I’d die for you
  
So I tear myself apart everyday that’s fine
I know that every piece ends up entwined
with my hands tracing slowly up up spine
sewing threads so tight they won’t unwind
I

wanna know
have you ever tried to be
anything more than what you’re trying to be
need to know 
if you’ve ever tried to see
everything that I can see

I could be a shipwreck washed ashore
I could be approaching meteors
I could be somebody’s last resort
Did I ever tell you that
that

Iiiii
will love you like I know to
castle in the sky 
baby I think we should float too
I’m barely alive
but for you I wanna pull through
if you were my ride or die
there’d be so much I could show you

I would lift your head when the water’s high
I would wrap your hands when you’re cold at night
lay flat on the ground so I break your fall
And I would be alright  
I wouldn’t mind at all
I would move the sun when it blinds your sight
I would shoulder your weight and still stand upright
mutilate my body if my skin’s not right for you
if you were by my side
I’d die for you

I could be a shipwreck washed ashore
I could be approaching meteors
I could be somebody’s last resort
Did I ever tell you that before?

break your fall (empty roads)

hope u enjoy
prod me:)

stream: https://open.spotify.com/track/4d5T99Alz4yjtsK4rXZQMG?si=0ac39b124ca245e9

lyrics:

follow me out of my mind
if something so simple as passage of time
could rescind the blunders i've made in denial
i'd wait here forever to make things alright
i'm sure that you've noticed erosion in me to my core
how the hell am i sposed to be happy ignored?
guess i'm hoping that most weeks i'll end up at yours
poke my head in the door some more

because it's you that i bleed for
i like to think it means more
i never like to keep score
so tell me if you need more

because it's you that i scream for
it's you i feel diseased for
it's you i threw the key towards
got just what i wanted
yeah i got just what i wanted but
it's you that i scream for

hollowing inside and out
i guess nothing good is meant to stick around
i read what you said now i'm down
can't tell if i'm dead or my head's in the ground
knowing you can see me now is all that really keeps me honest
i've been retreating from the me i think you always wanted
i've been defeated and i think i need a recourse
i could be your resource

because it's you that i bleed for
i like to think it means more
i never like to keep score
so tell me if you need more

because it's you that i scream for
it's you i feel diseased for
it's you i threw the key towards
got just what i wanted
yeah i got just what i wanted but
it's you that i scream for

scream

prod by icantsleeplol & hvci
mixed and mastered by icantsleeplol & hvci

thank u @hvci for helping me with some of the layers to help my vocals more impactful ♡ 

and ofc w/ @xav0id

(i’m experimenting with my vocals and my voice in general to see what it’s capable of. i don’t wanna be limited to one genre. i wanna push past my comfort zone and explore different sounds with my voice)

enjoy:)

lyrics:

@icantsleeplol -
they asked me to smile
so i did
now i can’t tell when i actually mean it

i learned to read the room too well
picked up their moods, and forgot myself
said the lines they’d rather hear
kept my truth in second gear

they liked me better watered down
so i kept my head and voice low-bound
never asked them what they meant
just played the part and paid the rent

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
they never wanted all of me
just the version they could keep clean
so i edited my every thought
to fit inside the mold they bought

@icantsleeplol -
empty tent, the lights still burn
but no one waits for my return
they loved the laugh, not the cost
they clapped so loud, i got lost

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
empty tent, applause fades quick
left alone with what won't fix
i give and give, then disappear
while no one even shifts their ear

@icantsleeplol -
i swallowed pride and played polite
convinced myself it felt alright
but every nod, every demand
left another thing i couldn't stand

i tried to slow the spinning down
but silence just became more loud
i gave too much and asked too little
and broke apart right down the middle

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci
they smiled, so i assumed it worked
but underneath, it always hurt
and though i tried to keep it smooth
the pressure cracked the parts i moved
 
@xav0id -
empty tent, still looks the same
but i don’t walk out how i came
they called it charm, called it grace
but missed the tremble in my face

empty tent, the echo's mean
i’m still stuck on what they’ve seen
if this was love, or just a guess
why did i fall apart to impress?

@icantsleeplol w/ @xav0id
i’ve memorized what pleases them
but not what brings me back again
i dance around their fragile moods
and call it kindness as i lose

they say i’m calm, they say i’m nice
but only when i pay the price
and every time i try to breathe
i wonder what they’d let me keep

@xav0id - 
empty tent, lights flicker slow
no one left to tell me “go”
but i still bow, still play it cool
still scared of not fitting the rule

empty tent, just me and air
i gave too much, and no one cared
the quiet hits a little late...
but louder than the love they faked

i’m still here
they just forgot
and that’s the part
that hurts the most

empty tent w/ xav0id & hvci

prod dash 

sample from whiplash
lyrics ⬇️
theres not a future thought in my head oh well
well i could tell you what i want next 
but you would yell
yell at me for my best
for secrets that i had kept
then wonder why i aint slept
oh well
think this is something i cant repeat
keep stoopin low
you gonna find me out in a ditch
i dont want you to know
i dont think i dont think i can be seen like this
id rather you go tell everyone im just in an abyss
stuck out in the snow
way too cold so i couldnt flinch oo

think my lil brodie jus hit em a clip
360 y y hit on yo miss
and he doin damage so that you cant stitch
all of the stuff that you wish he aint did
act like my wifi aint runnin so i could just possibly find me some rest
act like this wachu been wantin
honestly please come be my guest

white paint on my whip
all of my vices green
i dont want you to trip
but i dont wanna you to cling
like what do u mean

well its pretty easy if you would just listen just for a minute 
i could tell u how i really have been 
like walkin to finland
thats how the distance feels between us when you get tempted
if i had wishlist you wont get it
ill throw that lil promise over the hedge

hits like a comet covered in ship
if we woulda saw it it would be sick
hints like a comment you wont forget
but we had a problem thats what we missed
covered in star dust under the mist
woulda been harder not to be hit

barley had started when you had dipped
hate you departed think we had skipped
my head been clouded hate to admit
i hope these feelings diminish they cant replenish
you act like a skit but this now a show
like where did u go
if i had a blick then i woulda blown
like you didnt know

and i cant explain how im feelin alone
every night i feel like theres not a phone
no where to reach
nowhere to be
part of me feel like im left out to bleed

finland (dash)

everything reproduced by me
original song credits towards my dear friend jude (@sleepywater)


i miss you so much bro; love you, forever.

sleepwater - tomorrow (cover)

im bad for you
my love, am i bad for you?
id die, if you asked me to
without ever being mad at you
id kill for us
my love, am i bad for us ?
held down, i could pull you up
paranoid that im not enough

take what you want and leave me by the road
im always involved but im always alone
pull me from hell, pull me outta my hole
im taking it back, this delusion i stole
my familys big but nobody is home
this music means nothing cause nobody knows
theyd only downplay it and rip it to bones
i thought youd be proud of me, how would i know ?
held by my feelings and losing my hope
all that i wanted, destroyed all i know 
it feels like im chasing but being left behind
imposing this talent, its nothing of mine

texture of your skins so lovely
its nothing as rough as mine
if i cant be enough on the surface
how could i be all you like ?
i cant make decisions, dont worry
im on the fence this time
gods holding his hand out just for me
and blinded both my eyes

imposter

Overly

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

scream

Yokai Dreams