lyrics//

lost my mind
i was driving to austin
asking why
did she give me the option

cracked spine
roots grow
why am i holding on hope anymore
guess i’m waiting for the day
i can work up some strength off the floor

maybe we’ll be better in the next life
maybe we’ll be better in the next life

[red eyes
guess i couldn’t be the one
take flight
but don’t get too close to the sun

icarus 
ur the achilles to my heel
fight my feelings so i keep them all concealed

if i was all that you want then why’d you let me go?
guess i was never enough and now i’m so cold
but don’t mind me 
i’ll be good on my own
five pills in my hand, 5% on my phone]


i’m so sick of back and fourth can we talk this out
playing games on my court
and i hate how it sounds
fuck a red light i just wanna get home
and for my last high
i’ll take you as my drug


[red eyes
guess i couldn’t be the one
take flight
but don’t get too close to the sun

icarus
ur achilles to my heel
fight my feelings so i keep them all concealed

if i was all that you want then why’d you let me go?
guess i was never enough and now i’m so cold]

you won’t let me go
you won’t let me go

icarus

prod raspo 
mixed/master by me

Lyrics:

generational trauma
personification of drama
must be easy to say 
“i got it all from my momma”
i’m not a perfect person 
i still take more than i oughta
but you’re not perfect either 
you paint more hate than you gotta 

and i’m sorry that i left you
wasn’t there when i needed to protect you 
when i found out shoulda texted you
cause i knew exactly what it meant for you
that if i stick it out and i try hard
then you might see what’s in my heart
but i see now i wasn’t fair to you
babe i swear that all i did was care for you 

i guess i could find someone to hold me down
oh but i don’t think it’s fair if i’m not gonna be around 
cause my time on this earth is a little more limited than you think it is
and if i showed you inside of me
i wonder what your gut reaction to the trash would be
would you ask what happened to me 
would you stare in a state of shock as you backed away from me

oh see i been in this place before
where i never thought i’d need a hate ward
so when i broke down while i answered 
and then you spread through me like cancer
i sat back in my chair and wondered if i really said it with candor 

i know heart patients don’t hurt like this 
so i just wanna be certain 
you can’t see it from my side now
it’s like you’ve drawn all the curtains 
you want home yea you won’t find it here
i’m done wit all this hurtin

_trauma_ (raspo)

prod. metlast x sor
mix: me
master: teddyboi (@yoimn3ver)
art: my girlfriend <3

lyrics:

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat 

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing 

3 in the morning
i should be sleeping but im not
this anxiety has got its grip on me
this is something you won’t see
cause you’re caught up in a dream
so far away from the disease
im begging im down im on my knees
for someone to save me
but no one’s here lately 

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing

now you see me
now you don’t
now i’m gone and missing
you shouldn’t have gotten close

close (metlast x sor)

lyrics //

me: we fell down when we were kids,
but we just brushed it off
now we’re trying hard to live
and it’s not fun at all

hurt back then but my hearts still beating
fuck my friends they don’t know that i’m 
leaving soon

piece by piece we can put it back
make you think i do track how i run right back to you
and it’s a heart attack, stabbing my back
but i think i’m numb to you
good times, feel you runnin through my bloodline
pack my bags let em all forget me
i’ll be good mom just keep the memories oh

we fell down when we were kids,
but we just brushed it off
now we’re trying hard to live
and it’s not fun at all

hurt back then but my hearts still beating
fuck my friends they don’t know that i’m 
leaving soon

fordy:

broke down city
run around town but it’s looking so empty
in a world so tempting
never done wrong till a girl had left me

said sorry, but it’s not enough 
you saw me, just lock me up
or let me bleed, i’m not enough to marry me 

what about the memories? nowadays i can’t even barely sleep nah
and what about the sympathy? wrote down pages on the way i feel now

i’m leaving you’ll see me soon 
still breathing 
the same fumes you hated
the same tunes 
same playlist

and now i know, it’s so clear
iv been drowning way below, and i can’t hear
if they’re coming or they’re leaving out the door

but one thing
don’t expect me to double back loving
don’t you think that we needed more trusting
cut ties cuz all ur assumptions 

me: we fell down when we were kids,
but we just brushed it off
now we’re trying hard to live
and it’s not fun at all

i was hurt back then now my heart still beating
fuck my friends they don’t CARE that i’m leaving soon
i just know that i’ll be with YOU
i just know that i’ll be with YOU

leaving soon w/ brecken

the ghost in my bed ft. cutdeep (secre x heyrick)

prod. irby & jolst

i got fuckin' turned around 
and i had no option but..
to love it,
ｔｏ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｉｔ
i got shot down,
all of my ideas are in the ground now
( take my soul out.. )
we always had eachother,
we were never undercover.

have you ever felt it all at the same time?
well, i did; and i think this will be the last time
you said "i hope we're okay.." 
well, "i hope we are too."
and i never meant all the hurtful shit i did 2 uuu ;(

i think that we should just say "fuck this shit" and run away
( i mean like, )
i mean, what more can we gain from this if we stay the same?
( i dont mean no. . )
i dont mean harm, i just dont know how to spit it out..
and i dont want death, but my mind cant see it-
GOIN' ANY OTHER WAY!!!
( this is destiny )
WAY!!!
IM SORRY!!!

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

i got fuckin' turned around 
and i had no option but..
to love it,
ｔｏ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｉｔ
i got shot down,
all of my ideas are in the ground now..
( take my soul out )
we always had eachother,
we were never under.

oo..~

HAVE YOU EVER FELT IT ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!
WELL, I DID, AND NOW I CANT FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL!
no one else,
no one else,
no one else, no
and i never meant all the hurtful shit i said to uuu.. u-u..

( fuck this shit, and run away )
( i mean like, )
( what more can we gain from this? )
( what more can we gain from this? )
( staaay.. )

i dont mean harm, i just dont know how to spit it out
and i dont want death, but my mind cant see it 
going any other way
・❥・ｗａｙ・❥・

there's nothing more violent than what i felt

www.carlbymusic.com
Production, mixing, mastering & additional vocals by @horoshavibes
Additional guitars by @jolst

LYRICS
It’s getting bad again
But I hesitate to get back on the medicine
Orange bottles on the shelf feel like a nemesis
When I feel it flooding back I can’t pretend
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be
Thought that I could stand tall on my own two feet
I can’t
Take one step
Take another step back
Standing in the same place
Like I’ve always been

I feel selfish for complaining
I need help but I’m abstaining
I’d hate to be a burden
So I’ll keep it to myself

Tripping over my own thoughts again
Holding on to oxygen
Hoping that someday I’ll learn to stand
Ignoring what’s been said
It’s getting bad again

Listen on Spotify!

It’s Getting Bad Again w/ Horosha (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

produced: tiedforsilver
feat: greenwood 
artwork: my amazing gf <3

lyrics:

( i would give anything to walk by your side again, alone my hands are trembling and i would make the sun drown)

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

(greenwood)

keep you safe, i don't know if i can manage
i whip it fast, sip it slow, its fucking static
guess you were right, never more than just an addict
i compensate, i overdo it fucking manic

all of that in my life though
i just really wanna go home
call you drunk from your friends phone
straight passing out at the dial tone
i don't what this life's worth
guess i don't see what you see (don't know what you mean)
nothing ever came easy when i'm face down in the deep

compensate i never get it right
run it different in my head like just the other night
see the mist and all the people on the other side
i know you're there and i don't even have to wonder

(epitome)

i do not have the time, nor a good alibi 
to explain why, how nothings been going right
i could roll the dice, but that would waste the time
of you and i, no need to try to chance it now

this loneliness as left a frown
on my face, it’s dragging me down
to the ground, now underneath where i can’t even hear a sound

i would give anything
to walk by your side again
the loneliness is dragging me 
further in the dark and now i cannot pretend 
that i can take the suffering
when your not around i’d rather be dust in the wind
alone my hands are trembling
i would make the sun drown to bring you back my friend

i would make the sun drown w/ greenwood (tiedforsilver)

lyrics ⬇️ 

it never happened like I thought 
oh no
all alone until I rot
they gon pick apart my bones
I don’t need another slot
jus to fill a stupid spot and then screw up on the plot
ima roll up with with dawgs don’t you tell me I should stop
you don’t know what’s goin on. 
yea it’s not ur job

there’s opportunities everywhere 
i could keep going on
but I cut like silverware 
so now days I don’t want you to stare
i wish that we got along
but we’re not a perfect pair

yea why can’t you see way beyond the pier
i don’t appreciate all of the pressure here

it’s catching up to me
i think they want me dead
do they want me here
or do they want me there instead

I tried to show I want you less
cuz that’s the truth
Then you treat me like a pest
but don’t tell me what I do

what’s new
it’s an issue 
how I’m lost
with out you

i never the kind of cost
shoulda thought this through
cuz you ripped all of my wants and needs in two

what’s the obvious answer?
i don’t need you 
fake it with laughter 
but how can they prove
I can’t wait til after ik what to do
and I hope that she’s flattered when she hears the news

beyond the pier w/ decks (flesh x jolst)

s/o @kiddamo
u signed my heart already
so u can stay here
take a pen out baby write ur name here
sitting at my desk fucked up right here
it feels like every other night i travel light years
and i dont wanna be alone
dont stop calling on my phone

frost bite covers my soul
i dont wanna be alone
it gets cold
when ur not at home
but i get so much warmer when u are close
yea it breaks me to pieces n i cant believe it
i dont kno why u always say that im tweaking
i hope im not right cuz then youll end up leaving
dont wanna put u in the past baby girl im speeding
monsters are creeping
i hear the floor boards creeking
tears dry no more weeping

u signed my heart already
so u can stay here
take a pen out baby write ur name here
sitting at my desk fucked up right here
it feels like every other night i travel light years
and i dont wanna be alone
dont stop calling on my phone

i really wouldve died for u tho
damn
i never should of cried for u hoe
so tell me why
why i wasted all of my time
i want to light up
see my past burn aways in the fire
no relief when i respire
thats all that i desire
i hate these people think id rather be a loner
im smoking weed until the end cuz im a stoner
like im saul silver

n she said u should call me when ur sober
but thats not in my plans baby girl
my words just getting slower
ill still be here when ur older
rhinestone love shining like the solar
dont wanna be sad anymore
i stopped smoking
dont hit the dab cart anymore
i dont got no friends anymore
i just drink alone
i dont wanna be here anymore

long gone 2 w/kiddamo (kaydo)

"Watch You Leave (feat. Ivri & Brecken)"
Produced by Ocean

 Thank you all who listen

*lyrics*
It's kind of odd watching you be a person I can't recognize but I'm glad you're okay
And I'm not used to the emotional withdrawal, could i get a hug before you drift away?
The winter season how it loves to mock me, I can't be who you need, it’s written all on your face
If awkward silence and a two word answer is the best you can do it's time we go our own ways

Most days, Most nights, I was walking by myself
You took my side, I knew I wanted nothing else
But the clouds move too quickly, I can't stop the weather
Took my heart just to keep it for yourself

Too many nights without you
My brain lacks all the right screws
Time might well be overdue

Why do I make it worse than it has to be
You could let me try
Or I could watch you leave
I could watch you leave
I could watch you leave, me

Never knew love life could be this bad
Crashed out
Put down
I never knew life could be this sad but
Troubled minds think alike

I'd love to think that it's all in my head,
but that's a lie

I heard that you wanted me dead, blocked now and I know it depends
On how I sin with my friends
Blew clouds, and I'll do it again

Wake up, I don't wanna live another day if I don't change up
I hope I change up

Most days, Most nights, I was walking by myself
You took my side, I knew I wanted nothing else
But the clouds move too quickly, I can't stop the weather
Took my heart just to keep it for yourself

Too many nights without you
My brain lacks all the right screws
Time might well be overdue

Watch You Leave w/ Ivri & Brecken (Prod. Ocean)

Carlby is an alternative pop artist from the Midwest. Working alongside producer, @horoshavibes, his music is a blend of pop, emo rock and hip-hop.

Contact - carlbymusic.com/contact

It’s Getting Bad Again w/ Horosha (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

Carlby

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