Lyrics:

it makes me nauseous
i think of her with him and him with her
and honest
i can't see you with any other person
the way you disregard me makes me feel so worthless
-
at 11 i was flirting with adults on some porn shit
at 13 i was watching that brutal bestgore shit
from 17 to 20 living life as a shut in
my deadbeat dad fucked a whore and i lost it
you can't try now think i'm jus gon ignore it
spent nearly 5 digits for a sense of importance

i've done it all 
but go through the motions
and life's on my plate
so i’m sorry i forfeit
-
i don't need your help
i just need a purpose

what the hell am i doing
i spend my life in a sorrow and i don't try to improve it
knockin off my early death goals n to do lists
can't die at 23 and say that i didn't do shit

i never fuckin try cuz i'm jus scared of losing
thoughts of suicide and the sky got a hue it's
blood red i admire the view
and as life rolls forth i'll keep on chugging the music
i think i love you
but i don't like the way you treat me when it comes to us two
i don't really wanna fuck
i just wanna fall in love
i just wanna be someone ur used to

it makes me nauseous
i think of her with him and him with her
and honest
i can't see you with any other person
the way you disregard me makes me feel so worthless
-
at 11 i was flirting with adults on some porn shit
at 13 i was watching that brutal bestgore shit
from 17 to 20 living life as a shut in
my deadbeat dad fucked a whore and i lost it
you can't try now think i'm jus gon ignore it
spent nearly 5 digits for a sense of importance

i've done it all 
but go through the motions
and life's on my plate
so i’m sorry i forfeit
-
i don't need your help
i just need a purpose

what the hell am i doing
i spend my life in a sorrow and i don't try to improve it
knockin off my early death goals n to do lists
can't die at 23 and say that i didn't do shit

i never fuckin try cuz i'm jus scared of losing
thoughts of suicide and the sky got a hue it's
blood red i admire the view
and as life rolls forth i'll keep on chugging the music
i think i love you
but i don't like the way you treat me when it comes to us two
i don't really wanna fuck
i just wanna fall in love
i just wanna be someone ur used to

nauseous (apc)

(ZBee)

at the end of the day
i wish my life would change
i see a photo of myself 
and then i break the frame
i’ve been so upset recently 
i’ve had an epiphany 
what if everybody disappeared 
and that’s including me 
 
oh 
i 
got
what i 
asked for
and more
oh god
oh god

(KID Benzo)

and at the end of the day
i want my life to change
but i'm stuck in my ways
thinking bout it again

got me going insane
yeah im hooked on these drugs
girl i want it to stop
but i feel so numb

i'm all one
disintegrated 
im on my own
so intoxicated 

(ZBee)

at the end of the day
i wish my life would change
i see a photo of myself 
and then i break the frame
i’ve been so upset recently 
i’ve had an epiphany 
what if everybody disappeared 
and that’s including me

break the frame (feat. KID Benzo) (michael harrison)

prodvelvet
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
light through the trees bleed
felt that i'd love
or is what they said
what i had enough of
she took out my heart
shes looking my way
i felt my head explode
for how you held me
i cant let go of what is the pain
and i cant get rid of what you had said
piling the pain
of where i come from
on this day i will rot

piling the pain
she left me that day
she couldnt give anything that i would say
and i need your love
that i couldnt get
but thats what she gave to me
how you would stay
bleeding my veins
taking what i had done
it was her decision
wrongfully i felt
how could u be mad at me

tired of these things
its done for once
and i couldnt be
in love more than once
she said she would grow
tears dried on the phone
you did more than to me
for once im not
piling the pain
i loved you still
as i would cave
i could run from the pain
choosing your way again

piling the pain (prodvelvet)

Can’t say ur not breaking me
It takes all that I have
Just to sleep and then wake again
Barely eat cause I can’t
My body’s not made for this
Cause half of it is urs
Remember when I said
“For this girl that I adore”
Ur nothing but memories
Keep
Pulling me apart
I could never be used to this
It’s only the start
Recently deleted
Select all
Confirm delete em
1000 images or more
And I don’t need to see em
Cause They’re all memorised
I’m burning through these highs
u don’t even ask how I am
it feels like nothings right
Fuck this u never tried
Try to see thru my eyes
The way I suffer every morning
U don’t ask me nein
“Why u awake so late”
I’m Just talking to friends
U won’t believe a single thing my mouth has ever said

Cause it’s so late
And it’s so dark out
Are you home yet ?
It’s not safe out now

There’s no place
For someone like me
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die
How could we say it’s us till we die
How should I know
And I can say this without any lines
With my eyes closed
Cause I mean it
This isn’t a story
I can’t go back to the start
And ur leaving
Moved on while I’m shuffling cards

There’s no place
For someone like me
In ur life
So I should focus on being alone
All the time
And babe it’s okay
I promise it’s fine
I’ll be fine
I cannot shake this feeling to die
I should die

select all, confirm, delete

fill my lungs with nicotine and hate
alot of water running down my face
runaway to a hiding place
and seek some words from someone with your name

i could give a word or two about you
i know thats just never right to do
but every word im speaking out is true
i dont give a lot its more than you

i can take it but you dont give anything
i wish that youd lie to me, come lie to me again
i want you to hide with me, come lay with me again
i want you to fight with, come fight with me again
i want you to break it but weve broken everything
i dont wanna face it but its hard for me to leave
i dont wanna listen, so i wont hear anything
holding onto something i dont care if you dont

maybe this is all that ive got in life
writing songs about it pacing all the time
fighting with myself im pulling hair from the root
maybe itd be if i wouldnt intrude
on life
its yours not mine
i had my time
and blew it right
it goes
its everything around and i swear that it goes
i dont wanna ruin it by doing the most

hiding place

- for mads <3
happy birthday dear :)

**lyrics**
do you think it’d be okay if I could stay for awhile?
you can pick my clothes, 'wanna wear your style
I can smile at your laugh, while you laugh at my smile
'Want you get your rest while I drive a hundred miles

you can pick out shells while we walk on the beach
and if your legs get tired, then just jump on me
I can carry you, cause you carry me
let your love be known, let your heart be free

please don’t worry 'bout the drive, or the time, or the weather
I’ll be there in an hour and I’ll make it better
I think the comfort of my home is me and you together
I know you really like this color, you can have this sweater

and we don’t have use our words, just let’s talk with our eyes
I wanna listen to the birds & see you’re standing where my life is
did you know you’re the only girl I think I see the sunrise in?
but there’s no better morning view than the brink of your iris.

i want nothing more than the love that you give (x2)
i want nothing more than the love that you give
                                   me

I don’t wanna go anywhere stay right here
put your heart in the fold of my hands, have my life dear
they say that time has a way of flying by, well let’s fly then
spread our wings, lift each other to the sky, spending light years (x2)

i want nothing more than the love that you give (x2)
i want nothing more than the love that you give
                                   me

i want nothing more, darling (michael harrison)

3rd & final single off upcoming project <3

lyrics

i’ve been too cold to let it out
she was supposed to let me rot
i had fallen sick to the new reaping age
bunker and mold pushing out oh a functioning face (not)

/

circling back, all the way to 
when i would just run thru 
the unknown before i’d even have thought 
to just head straight for the gate

/

i’ve not feel the need since i’ve been back
to tell the tales of a broken man
starve in his eyes, dark undertone
scars cover lies, ‘coz he’ll just never fold

/

ive read the pages from, back to front
i can tell u im not the one
ill reaffirm that idk who put me here
asking daily, i live for what

/

my words will decay but rustic
is the outlook ill give, non toxic
know its not how u wish or wanted
but this is the way its fallen

/

experience made not chosen
i was someone at one point
all of the things you’re hoping 
are all of the things i’ve seen at one point

/

i told u to let me rot
just leave me in this one spot
but just like everyone who’s crossed path
they don’t listen to me when i sound sad

/

hear me out 
this is a message for those around 
ive carried this weight for century now 
dragging modern day with a heavy frown

/

ive escaped thru the gates 
id love to take u one day
time is essential to be great 
we all have our own pace

untold tales of a broken man

untold tales of a broken man (empty roads)

It’s so cold will you bring me warm
And I would never do you harm
The taste of the dirt on my tongue humbles me again 
Even when I’m hurt I’ll protect you until the very end 
Looking back I’m at fault for never stepping in
And I can love you better babe you just gotta tell me when 

X2: Used to find peace
when I go to sleep
Now my nightmares haunt me like a knife and I fucking bleed 
never knew me never knew what the fucks best for me 

December is creeping along painfully slow
Ever since I fucked it all up by letting her go 
It’s funny how the loves never there when you need it most 
Throw stones at my porcelain heart and act like it’s while 
So lay me down in roses when I pass on to the other side 
And I pray you feel the same when I say there’s nothing else you could’ve tried 
I’m still in her arms I fall asleep and I dream at night 
Peace misses chaos that’s my broken mind
So stuck in silence  
Fire fills my eyelids 
All these toxins inside this alcohol leave me beaten up 
Nightmares from this poison inside this liquor cup 

Used to find peace
when I go to sleep
Now my nightmares haunt me like a knife and I fucking bleed 
never knew me never knew what the fucks best for me

Maybe I can just lay in this field forever 
Waiting for death to come and wash me over 
And turn all my bones into four leaf clovers 
And no I don’t wanna sleep (no more)
Turn your ashes to dirt that you leave on your front porch 
Leave my heart for the trees (go home)
Tell the people I love not to grieve when I let go 
You said to me it’s fine 
Don’t wait and change my mind 
So now I’m starting to sleep turning dust into dreams like the stars in the midnight sky 
(I don’t wanna go)

I don’t wanna bleed 
I don’t wanna sleep 
And I don’t wanna leave 
Yeah I don’t wanna leave 

(And I don’t wanna run)
But I’ve been feeling so done 
Only place I’m finding peace is inside a loaded gone 
Insomnia up for weeks just let me be let me rot 
Terrified to go to sleep I got no where I can run

I dont wanna sleep ft. Sewerperson and Days to Waste (Irby/Jolst)

suitcase freestyle (p. zakk garner)

im so numb
i cant feel
wheres the sun?
think im done

i cant see, when there's no light
i cant breathe, late at night
i cant starve, all my fright
i cant stay, but im alive

i hate the way i always talk about myself
but when you live the way i live, theres really no one else
and if im not, talking about you and the way i felt
just memories, and only shadows of the last farewell

its like a drill right through my brain
every day, every day, go away
please put a bullet in my brain
let it drain, let it drain, let it drain

im so numb
i cant feel
wheres the sun?
think im done

honestly, dont you lie to me
i know im not worth much
probably got tired of me

i know it's not the case
but it could probably be
but everything got too fucked

any time i felt whole, wanted to die in my place
so i could keep holding on, ill cut it short in my case
cause i think that im done, got the best of me
now i want to get rid of the memory

its like a drill right through my brain
every day, every day, go away
please put a bullet in my brain
let it drain, let it drain, let it drain

im so numb
i cant feel
wheres the sun?
think im done

Bullet In My Brain

bullet in my brain

prod by stezzyxl
enjoy

lyrics:
a day has passed
and im trapped beneath these sheets
u broke our promise
forever meant never, right

a week has passed
and ur with him now
how did u forget me so fast?
when we were once everything

a month has passed
and i’m still here
in the same place u left me
did u forget?

3 months have passed
and i met new friends
and i’m learning how to smile again
i’m going out more now
instead of staying in my bed

5 months have passed
and highschool is about to end
i’m about to graduate now
i talked to ms britski yesterday
in the same class we met

7 months have passed
and i see that ur happy now
it hurts because
i’m not the one that’s around

1 year has passed
and i can’t help but still hope at night
that one day you’ll call
that one day you’ll come back

every month that passes by
i can not help but think at night
if we have tried, oh one more time
will it work this time

every month that passes by
i can not help but think at night
if we have tried, oh one more time
if it would fail again

fuck

my diary

IV ♱ 21
i've given everything

how could i have known it was limited time

piling the pain (prodvelvet)

chasecomeback

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KID Benzo☆

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