Chilllllsssss, great job on this one everyone <3

woah 😳 first song I'm listening to, and as soon as I heard his voice, got chills 🥴 I love your voice! 

also, thats a seriously good photo   ~from someone who loves creative photography

onlyfriend x decks the only combo i love more than life

12/26/21

hiraeth. eight months in the making.
featuring: @onlyfriendyeah
produced by: @lindenblossom
cover art by: @ejcarrmusic
i hope you enjoy <3
thank you for everything.

lyrics:
it feels like im missing something
a portrait unfinished
my life has been next to nothing
a chord thats diminished

cuz i’ll wait for change
and better days
just to come home with nothin
or maybe i’ll
just stay the same
cuz im too good at suffering
and i could always
take the blame
for all of my shortcomings 

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(onlyfriend)
maybe it's all for nothing
all the choices i make lead me closer to the coffin
no i can't take the weight of the changes
and i don't rly know what i'm doing
just pretend that you can't see me fading
and shy away raising no alarms
like i'm safe from harm
when i'm too far gone
and i can't hear a word from you

hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

(both)
hiraeth
i'm feeling the silence now
i can’t return, i'm fallen
my fragile body’s calling
i'm violent
feel like i'm dying now
i'm breaking down, i'm fallen
maybe it’s all for nothin

hiraeth (feat. onlyfriend) [linden]

spotify!

lyrics

if i could i back to the past god forbid
id strangle the fuck out of that little kid
the damage hed cause to all those around him
tho hurting inside all those sins were still his
his temper and cold words could cut like a blade
to ask for forgiveness would not be okay
when he was called out he would promise hed change
but progress was slow, and it still felt the same
a victim complex was inbuilt in his brain
toxic in nature with poisonous veins
mutual destruction was something he craved
enabled by rights that he placed on his faith
but he never listened, he always knew best
and then with a blade he pierced everyones chest
as he lay there bleeding, well u know the rest
something inside him would not let him rest
his body was broken and hollow inside
eased by the substances fueling his mind
and he blamed his father and slights to his kind
and took from his flesh as to punish his pride
but they saw no difference, and thats fair enough
twas just superficial, it wasnt enough
with that reputation words stuck to his name
whispers and lies would become commonplace
when he fell again's when he started to change
said fuck it, im done, ill admit my mistakes
and it may be the cause, but no justification
ill learn how to deal with my pent up frustration
but it seems that my time and my effort was wasted
tears falling down as the train leaves the station
all of these things that u do on a whim
i bet u hate waking up next to him

he, him, and i (pekarot)

@nevrfall
i love @heylog so much, he's an amazing person c:
lyrics:
(casperrr)
moving away as my body collapse
half a day and i already smoked half a pack
i smell the chemicals burning in my hand
i need to change this i need to take a stand
all of the promises u made they didn't worth nothing
while u ran ur mouth ur actions didn't prove anything
u still wanna tell me that i am lying
do u really wanna tell me that i am lying

AND THIS IS FUNNY CAUSE THE PROMISES ARE STUCK IN THE WALLS
U TREAT ME WRONG AND I STILL PICK U UP EVERYTIME U FALL
I GET DEPRESSED AND I SHUT MYSELF FROM WINTER TO FALL
I REALLY NEED HELP I CANT SEE WHATS REAL I JUST SEE fog
FOGGY MEMORIES IN MY BRAIN HELP ME REMEMBER
WHAT WAS THE THING THAT TRAUMATIZED ME LAST DECEMBER
CUZ I TOOK IT OUT OF MY HEAD
I KNOW I WISHED EVERYDAY FOR DEATH
I WAS GETTING SO MAD
I WAS GETTING SO FED UP

(heylog)
u made me mad, i called but u won't answer
don't speak to me like that where are your manners
it's hard when life just sucks, is it supposed to?
deteriorate non stop what am i s'posed to do
u hate on me now when i didn't do a thing
u love causing ruckus and it's concerning
but i kill the vibe is that why u hate me
i won't give u shit or anything

is it safe to say that i miss u
forgot what it's like to kiss u
i'm sorry u had to tell me what u been through
if u need me i'll be here for u
forgot what ur face looks like, it's been a day
leaving ur house but i can't drive away
arriving home and it don't feel the same
without u here, it feels so plain

promises w/heylog (nevrfall)

produced by hiraeth

remember to wash the socks u came in

And its so obvious
How can you not see me
See me
If I ran away would you need me ?
Played your last messages on repeat
This the last time that you’ll see me

So let me down
Pull me out
Of this hole im in
Baby would you cave it in 
What is happening
I can’t believe I shat again :p!!
Blood is everywhere
Im crawling out of bed again

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Trying to run from the past
Tell me how hard does it get now
Living to die in a bed
No in-between to forget now
Call me when all of it ends
Im putting a gun to my he’d now

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

Fuck with me for the last time 
This the last night
Fights getting outta hand now
But its alright
Fuck living ima die now 
Its about time
Thoughts sheltering my mind out
From the outside

newmaker

cover of the lo-fi version of a song that’s been on repeat since high school :)
hope y’all enjoy <3

artwork done by @se.b.drawin on instagram
mixed + mastered by @skullkiddxx

lyrics:


I think you'll notice when things become different
The good vibes in our lives won't feel so consistent
And, less becomes more 'cause the weight is too heavy
I swim in the water that's breaking your levee

The way that you left me's all right, it's all right
If I argue the point then we yell and we fight
And I won't be home for the rest of the night
You might hate my words but you know that I'm right
You know that I'm right

This is your life, there's no way to run from it
The doubt in your brain, or the pain in your stomach
I only have the one complaint at the moment just
Don't paint me black when I used to be golden

The way that you left me's all right, it's all right
If I argue the point than we yell and we fight
And I won't be home for the rest of the night
You might hate my words but you know that I'm right
You know that I'm right

“Clairvoyant - Lo-Fi” Cover 🧚🏼‍♀️🥀 (The Story So Far & Mik)

prod wisssery
featuring horosha

lyrics:
another night alone got me feeling so guilty
shouldnt be here right now shouldve killed me
bullet to my head let the led fucking fill me
i dont really know who i am do you feel me x2

on the sidewalk where i lay
fall light as a feather in the winter weather
fall light as a feather
im not okay
tryna get myself together but my hearts in a tether 

horosha:
I can’t feel my hands 
I try my best to explain but the words just won’t come out 

I’m frozen in place.
Like the first frost of winter, anxiety takes it’s hold 

Cuz no one told us how to cope with this 
and every passing year’s got me feeling more selfish 
Cuz I used to dream of leaving the world better than I found it, 
Now I just wanna save myself 

I can’t believe that this is all I could become,
strangled from the lack of love 
I lay here watching the snow come down 
Let it bury me 
I’ll let it bury me 

I can’t believe that this is all I could become,
strangled from the lack of love 
I lay here and watch the snow come down 
I’ll let it bury me till the spring comes

winter weather (feat. horosha) (wisssery)

boywontcry live (wunderworld fest)

prod fats'e
w/
@heylog  &
@lilskeleskrrt

lyrics:

heylog:
ur across the states, i wish it wasn't the truth
it's either them or me, now ur gone.. you had to choose
so i gave you a piece of art i took time and drew
u can keep it forever, i hope it stays with u
you've got so much ahead of u and goals to accomplish
while i make a song saying "log u need to top this"
but god i'm tired and the struggle is real
i died and came back to life, now i can't feel

fats'e:
life goes on
can't say i didn't try
just not hard enough
found a new timeline
just tossed to the side
died and came back to life

we both come undone
feeling stuck in a loop
that i can't seem to outrun
feeling stuck in a loop can't escape

skele:
n god i’d love to talk 
but look just not right now 
got some shit to say 
i jus don’t know how 
i spent like every night alone jus fucking dreaming of you 
n love i know your hurting 
it kills me too 

n tell me why 
it always gets so hard 
getting out of bed 
feels like i’m heading to war 
n if i saw the reaper know he’d take me for sure
breaking down alone 
i put my head to the door 

i don’t get it 
i thought i was better 
u said it 
so why can’t i remember 
i’m sick of living like this 
i hate the medicine 
im sick of crying like this 
it never fucking ends 

n at this point think i’ve died twice 
really good at fucking up my life 
n i don’t care if you love me
i just need you to lie 
life goes on, i just don’t wanna try 
i got used to all the pain inside

died and came back to life (w/ heylog & skele)

prod @sorrow_bringer

 it really does kill me that i'm not able to showcase what i create/put out how i want it to be, but the piece itself matters the most to me. hopefully one day i'll be able to put together like a music video/lyric for a majority of what i put out, but for now, this is all i got. thank you so much for supporting me and music to this point. i really, really appreciate it. more than just that. this is everything to me. thank you for listening. <3

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

brass knuckles mounted on my fists
sweat n grease; let it drip
like a typhlosion, my body is molten
i will not let opportunity slip
it's all for the kid, that i had been
i fucking miss him, but i shouldn't let
adolescence turn to codependence
just how in the fuck did we grow up to this

i'm sorry if you don't like my voice
cause i don't either, i do not have a choice
i take a break for a couple days
then i come back, just to fill the void
i'm so annoyed by every noise
and a breath away from breathing poison
a leap of faith isn't what i'd take
just freefall into clairvoyance

i don't keep track of the shit i accomplish
trying my best to avoid being pompous
now the weight of the world's being pushed on the girl who had given me hope
for the things i had wanted
ain't that some bullshit
honesty lies in between the cracks
of what we deem that is evil
but we can't live without it
can't live without it

oh, it feels like i stall time
when i submerge myself in a foreign pathogen
all feels well, till i cross that path again
flicker the blood off your hands into mine
what an orthodox method of covering crime
i just wanna cry
she just wanna crash
just leave me behind
there's no going back

but, what if i fuck this up again
would you be my only friend
my mentality's kicking the bin
cause honesty lies within sin
with every thought, grows ornery tension
every night i'm a loss, and i'm building retention
stars don't cross if you don't pay attention
my tears don't drop if they're not worth a mention
you cannot feel what i feel.
she's probably not even real
i'm probably not even real
so i'm going in for the kill

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

did it ever happen..

retention [prod. sorrow bringer]

I hope u love it, enjoy <3

prod. me
https://soundcloud.com/nihil2free on guitar
collab with https://soundcloud.com/bitekivibes
shoutout to both of them for real


lyrics:
i've been trying to fight off this gravity
can't have shit in this life its fucking comedy
seems to be i worked up on my honestly 
were still stressed, nothings left, somethings gotta be up
tell me that you don't give a fuck
i said, "okay see you in bit" 
crushed my hand with a mallet
ditch all my attachments and bring the fucking damage

keeping me up on a late night 
in deep, no sleep in my damn eyes 
you said you missed me i said, "damn right"
can't rest i'm stressed till the daylight

i could use a little bit of closure
fucking up my mental i've been distant and colder
they're so judgemental it sucks my composure
all i have left is what i should have told her

break me down to see myself
i've lost my mind
don't need your help.

now i get it
synthetic how they act around me tryna be my friends its pathetic.
i keep waking up to panic 
suppression locked in, i cant stop it.

gravity.deprived

spotify

hi :)
prod. me

lyrics:
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

empty, lately i been empty
drugs been lookin so tempting, but ill hang on
hang on tight just for you

she wanna talk, but she heating up.. why you wanna talk when you need help?
i think i know a fake when i see one, and i think im gonna break if you be one
u can find me at my place barely breathin
i was always less needed
than them and i can see it
u can try and call it wont reach me

i dont really talk, but you kno that im like that
you know when it comes to me i dont fight back
read into everything you say, your words never lost with me

i know it gets so hard,
but life is separating us
so i wanna hear you
say you wont forget me
i've been lost and empty
i don't need the sympathy i jus need a friend i can lean on

i remember that look on your face, its so distrusted
i know, you didn't want this
but we found our love
right on pavement i found
u stomped ur feet on the ground
im sorry

say you won't forget me

https://open.spotify.com/track/6YGkMYjammuUEPLMHtd7q8

Moonlit Serenade

standing at your doormat (ft. yung axstn) (prod. northeast lights X odece)

fall against your wall (prod.irby)

Blvckehart - Your Parallel - prod. tsurreal

s/o to https://soundcloud.com/boyfifty for the fire beet and inspiration <33
s/o soundcloud.com/cay2o for mastering too
mixed by me

lyrics:
I know u hate this, I don't fkin like it either.
my brain cant stay still, I'm struggling to chill myself
I really hate me, cause I cant fkn kill myself
I been blocking out my mind just to heal myself.

she gon' thank me when I kick the bucket.
obsessive thinking, my mind crazy, but I cant say fk it.
cause I got u and these people who gon' listen to me
this shit my therapy, don't take it as a lecture homie.

I fkn, lay in bed just thinking and sht.
i think id probably be happy if I didn't think about sht, but i cant help it my mind racing like a track meet
i try to sleep then get depressed like tf happened to me.

I’m wastin my time, I opened my eyes
can’t rely on these bitches I learned that the hard way
comin back to my senses, but ive been through hell
i’m a lion in a cell, but its kinda hard to tell
now I dont mean to yell, but sometimes I need to get this feelin out of my chest.
I love my homies, s/o my brothas 1 time 
I hope they not lonely, cause im barely alive.

i been blockin out my mind just to heal myself

i been blockin out my mind just to heal myself (prod. boyfifty)

a bystander

LP3 out now everywhere <3

@signett001
@butaneband

hiraeth (feat. onlyfriend) [linden]

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lindenpearce.

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