find me i been lost inside this nightmare
what's one more night with you
i want more life with you
i've shown you patience
you've shown me your graciousness

a young man fights all on his own
his children need a home
its the thought of a life not lived
and what he didn't receive as a kid
(himself)
it's a battle every day
a struggle just to pay the bills
what does your wife have to say
listen to mother too

please god
save us
cause i can't do this on my own
help me
please
before i let my little ones down
i'll fall to my knees i can't breathe this way
im prayin that somebody hears what i say
cause i don't know how much longer i've got in me 

it's the first of the month again
rent's due and the truck's been acting up
she says we'll get through somehow we always have
but they've been cutting back hours
and laying em off
no matter the dead end job though
it's never enough
can't see a way out of this
a few thousand in debt
he thinks this is it
maybe we're better off dead

(weary head, lay it down, get some rest)

please god
save us
cause i can't do this on my own
help me
please
before i let my little ones down
i'll fall to my knees i can't breathe this way
im prayin that somebody hears what i say
cause i don't know how much longer i've got in me

please, god

What You Put Me Through Ain't Fair w/ ☆RiP.3.7☆ [prod. ClØud]

her cutlery is pit against the chest
the cavalry is strung about in red
oceans sing, the air it resurrects
confusingly, the liquid knows him best

give me something to feel yah
i just want this trust to inch it's way enough to heal numb
the battlefield he yield's enough to get him gone from being on
the acid turf is leaving burns, and passerbys see nothing wrong
injustified his tortured mind, and found recline in weaker ones
through divide and clouded sky, a destiny decayed
it's yesterday that local cat is no longer a stray
fallacy is brought upon erasure of the frame
you only wanna fuck him 'cause he calls you by your name
you only wanna fuck him
you only wanna fuck him 'cause he calls you by your's
called you by your name

love sores and scorn within yourself you'd deprecate
fed the source of everything you couldn't hear me say

her cutlery is pit against the chest
the cavalry is strung about in red
oceans sing, the air it resurrects
confusingly, the liquid knows him best

forging the ache in a cauldron of storm
there would lurk the accompany whispering war
the ecologies flood the industrial core
for the body is steel, but is still only armor

sacrificial departure (sorrow bringer)

Produced by Lxst Boy & Late Night Tones

-lyrics-

I stare at the walls and think about what they have seen
I missed all your calls, purposely, now leave me be
How are you so quick to apologize? (I'm sorry)
I felt so sick when it came to light
Now the memory falls, drifting down like autumn leaves

You've torn my heart
You've torn my heart

I stare at the clock, ticking down to melodies
The burned out wood, wounded from your kerosene
How are you so quick to burn me down?
You were my world till you locked me out
I picked up your call, now watch me bleed, you need to see

You've torn my heart
You've torn my heart
Say it's all my fault and take it back so you can breathe
You've torn my heart

Driftwood

produced by sorrow bringer

influenced by 9tails 

lyrics; something about stopping the pain in my head or sum

thoughts (interlude)

It's been a while since I did a collab so I hope you guys like it!!

Dreamer 2 w/ yungcray, brecken

Lucid

🍂
lyrics 
she wanna have picnic 
im tryna get my dick licked
she say ima bad vibe
fuckin up her business 

she gimme cold shoulder 
i brush it off like soldiers
we’re only getting olderrrr iiii

i only speak nonsense 
you got better options 
but you chose an artist boy 
leaves falling downhill
in springvillie i’ll cry 

you’re perfect baby i just been in a funk 
don’t wanna talk i been tired as fuck 
lay in my bed and im thinking bout us
you need anything shawty know i’ll be there
100p percent 
leaves falling off my tree feel like deadwood 
shoutout wraith that’s my homie he in deadwood 
i fuck her good yah she know i don’t got deadwood 


she wanna have picnic 
im tryna get my dick licked
she say ima bad vibe
fuckin up her business 

she gimme cold shoulder 
i brush it off like soldiers
we’re only getting olderrrr iiii

i only speak nonsense 
you got better options 
but you chose an artist boy 
leaves falling downhill
in springvillie i’ll cry

leaves (NE’ERDOWELL X 93FEETOFSMOKE)

Mixed by﹒⪩⪨﹒ stezzyxl﹒⪩⪨﹒
Produced by stezzyxl :333

lyrics:
i met a boy i loved
and everything lit up
i felt the stars align
our nights were so alive
a rose from you could fade
but love from you remains
our souls are intertwined
this kind of loves hard to find

i cant lose you
and you cant lose me
our lives feel so free
when things are meant to be
who would have known
id fall for you
now i can see
theres only room for three

when you start
to look at me with those eyes
our worlds begin to collide
the night wont end tonight
only if you decide

you make your music too
i stay and listen while you do
you laugh in our tiny little room
i try to mix and i master just to feel close to you

i never felt this way before
before
i cant feel anyone unless its you

i met a boy i loved

12 deep im still lookin for the bottle
everytime i go to sleep i pray i miss tomorrow
anything and everything is never what i thought no
god i hate ur memories they make me feel so hollow

every day the same bullshit
what the fuck is you pulling
you aint give em the context
you aint showin the full clip

everyday the same toolkit
who the fuck is you fooling
why you worried where im at
dont threaten me just pull it

who are u when im not around?
you wont ever make it out that town

12 deep im still lookin for the bottle
everytime i go to sleep i pray i miss tomorrow
anything and everything is never what i thought no
god i hate ur memories they make me feel so hollow

sell me thru the goddamn payphone
co-drive in this rally race u didnt get the pace notes
anything and everything ill take it to the face smoke 
god i hate this place and i dont wanna wake tomorrow
 
[notahero]:

tryna quit these drugs is so hard
i know you can’t hold my hand through it all
i’ll keep singing through the fall
till the end of it all

but it’d be so much easier if you met me half way
i think i left a piece of myself at that lake
i wake up throwing up with my pale green face
nothings coming up from this sorrow i cant break

i heard you’re doing better now i hope you break a leg
i hope you break your face

before i go to sleep 4 pills to my face
when i wake up i feel mad that it’s another day
i’m puffing a medical cart this shit feel like it’s fucking laced
i’m fucking describing this shit to you let me go at my own pace

let me go at my own time
i know you love me by the way you take my jeans off it’s time to fucking dine
yea it’s time to fucking die

tell me who was your favorite person when you were alive
cause mine is you

i will not hesitate for smoke im like a juul
i can see the stars in your eyes ill put stars on your roof
she saw me crying im like babygirl nah im cool
nah im cool



context ft. notahero (jolst)


I've been staring at our picture for hours,
Asking myself if it's wrong—over and over.
We did something we said we would never,
Confused why everything feels so much easier.

How did we end up with this closure?
We went the wrong way; neither of us could endure.
We promised to hold hands forever,
But now we find ourselves saying, "We're over."

It's funny how I shouldn't be okay at all,
But why do I feel like I just broke a prison wall?
I became complacent, content through it all.

I want to stay, but I can't get myself to fight for it.
I want to be with you, but how come I'm fine with it?
Standing on the edge at the end of you and me,
But why does it feel like alone is where I want to be?

At the end of us, but I can't wait to be just me.
So many good memories, a future we longed to see,
But all of it was cast aside by us hurting every day.
Whoa oh oh ohhh.

I've been awake, wondering if what we decided
Was the right way to say our love has died.
It's not like we didn't try at all—you know we did,
But the more we tried to fix it, the more we bled.

We asked ourselves, "When did we stop?
When did we fall this hard from the top?"
We forgot the rules of love; we fell for the trap,
Forgot to put us first, and in the end, we dropped.

It's funny how I shouldn't be okay at all,
But why do I feel like I just broke a prison wall?
I became complacent, content through it all.
Ohhh ohhh, whoa oh...

I want to stay, but I can't get myself to fight for it.
I want to be with you, but how come I'm fine with it?
Standing on the edge at the end of you and me,
But why does it feel like alone is where I want to be?
At the end of us, but I can't wait to be just me.
So many good memories, a future we longed to see,
But all of it was cast aside by us hurting every day.
Whoa oh oh ohhh.

We held on so tightly, afraid to let go,
But love shouldn't feel like a battle we owe.
Tried to rewrite the story, but the ink wouldn't flow,
Two hearts lost, and now it's starting to show.
We both know the truth—we've had our fill,
Yet here we are, pretending against our will.

I want to stay, but I can't get myself to fight for it.
I want to be with you, but how come I'm fine with it?
Standing on the edge at the end of you and me,
But why does it feel like alone is where we want to be?
At the end of us, but we can't wait to be just free.
So many good memories,‐ a future we longed to see,
But all of it was cast aside by us hurting every day.
Whoa oh oh ohhh.

At the end of you and me, we find our breath.
In the silence, I hear what's left.
No more promises, no more regret—
Just the calm of a sunrise we won’t forget.
[Female]
I’ll always love who we were before,
But we can't keep knocking on a broken door.
So we both walk away, finally free,
At the end of us, you found  you and I’ve found me.

At The End Of Us (Live)

23 | vox / songwriter & engineer 
i make what i want my music isnt for everyone
@rod / @web fan account

email - m@scars.online

thoughts (interlude)

marsmal

Related tracks