Battles I'm In

FAKE NEWS FAKE NEWS! The slimy headline chaser J. Jonah Jameson debates the red-faced liar Alex Jones! Who will push the other off their platform?! 

Video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJjecO_yFIQ

►Alex Jones voiced by Skitzy (me)

►J. Jonah Jameson voiced by Raichous 
@raichousrapbattles

►Mixed by Freshy Kanal
@freshy-kanal

►Thumbnail made by Fightmarker
@fightmarker 

►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►
Alex Jones Verse 1 
_____________________________________________ 
 Now let me make something ENTIRELY CLEAR.
 I’m a bear, A MENACE, with rhetoric to fear!
 Hear your son spittin’ Venom at his wife, no doubt!
 Smear your tax return status like your journalist clout. 
 Cause unlike you, I fight the Super-Powers!
 Send all of your SuperPAC Villains, SHIT, even Howard!
 Trump’s got my back, so we’ll stomp this Boy Scout!
 And you better not act out, if you want that corp bailout!
 Info Wars are a-brewin, when Fake News are a-stewin!
 I’ll getcha blood pressure risin, when I’m interviewin!
 SO IT’S MONO E MONO FUCKER! YOU DON’T ALARM ME!
 I’LL EASILY DECK A DOUCHE WHO CAN’T MAKE HIS OWN COFFEE!

 JJJ Verse 1
_____________________________________________
 Just my luck, another one of the daily nutcases!
 But I GUESS I’M “REPORTING” BASICS TO A SADIST!
 Here’s a Headline, “Rip-Off O'Reilly Ran Off the Web!”
 Make that Spider Menace jealous with a face that red!
 I’M THE J-J-J, THE TRIPLE H OF THE BIZ!
 WHILE THE K-K-K SOURCES THE LIES OF YOUR DISS!
 In journalism, entertaining nutjobs is a formality..
 Have Betty buzz a bozo with “Super Male Vitality”!
 You’re a Trump lovin’ blowhard whinin’ ‘bout the gay frogs!
 But you’ve been cancelled like his twitter and the Twitch chat pogs! 
 THE ONLY PICS YOU BUY ARE OF A NUDE JACOB WOHL NERD!
 I NEED PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN, YOU’RE FIRED!

Alex Jones Verse 2  
_____________________________________________
 I’M A CAVEMAN, DRINKING ON THIS CAVEMAN!
 NOT TAKING SHIT FROM A FAILED PORTAL CAVE MAN!
 Hosting Just the Facts, sounds like your brain sharted!
 Call me Spider-Man 3, cuz I'm kinda retarded
 And when it comes to style, what’s your game plan?
 Can’t decide if you wanna be Hitler or his biggest fan!?
 I’m the shining beacon of masculinity, and no, I don’t kid!
 So stand down and go back to roleplaying arach-kid!

 JJJ Verse 2
_____________________________________________
                *Meme Laugh break*
 You serious?! Nevermind, you’re unfired!
 You’ve been so aged by the rage, you should’ve just retired!
 Hit you with the one two, and a Sandy Hook too!
 Only claim it’s an act, when the parents try to sue!
 More concerned with a pickle jar then actual news!
 You’d rather booze on a cruise then slander Ted Cruz!
 HOFFMAN! This joke gives out fake docs like Brock!
 But you’ll be remembered as no, chip off the old blog...

►Beat by Audio Network

J. Jonah Jameson Vs Alex Jones ❰Rap Battle❱

Jeffree Star Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Tom Savini Voiced By Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie
Beat Prod. by Frankie Vibes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5NbTwBZMMI

Jeffree:
I’m sorry, but why do you wanna face this?
Looking like Ted White after a Jason face lift!
Gotta be a prank. Did the Dobres tape this?
Call you a powder foundation, ya basic!
Now I’ve been used to drama, but this has-been as my rival kinda lowers the bar
I’m fuck-proof on the mic, we’re worlds apart, Hitting you so hard, call me Jeffree WorldStar!
I’ll shatter through that haphazard slash man
A fashion disaster, with a flasher ‘stache, damn!
You career’s gone stagnant, The computer’s your replacement
Only fans are the pale nerds locked in their basements!
This Maniac thinks his blood fests are some hot shit
Boils down to gore porn made by a misogynist!
I’ve been told I was prodigy, a god to be, it’s odd to me
To see the Godfather of Gore is trying offing me!
Face it Tommy Boy! You looking Tubby, boy!
Maybe use your make up magic on that tummy, boy!
One watch of your “Wet Dreams” makes me sick!
Of course you like fencing. You’re just a little prick!
Now you get your chance, old man! Don’t have a heart attack grabbing the mic!
Although that would be a fitting end, to “Screaming Mad” George Lite

Tom:
(Heh) Thank god you stopped, think my hearing went dead
That rap made me envy my fake rubber head
Your damn squeaky voice is a spike to the brain
No wonder your music career’s in the drain
Sorry, princess. You’re shilling it, I make my Blood Money from spilling it
So you can try to make me seem villainous. Of course the Sultan of Splatter is killing it!
You’re used to cheap bars, it’s where you got your start in!
I cut my teeth, cutting wrists in Martin!
In that Hollywood circle, your boy was putting in work
You really wanna measure with your Youtube circle jerk?
I know documentaries, got two about Jason
That Shane Daws shlock was just bad product placement!
You only got lies spilling out your painted kisser
But your silver tongue couldn’t protect you from the sisters!
Cashing in on Controversy, it seems like a crapshoot!
So try to run the track. You can’t handle a tracksuit!
Think it’s time for the living Bratz doll to behave
You can watch me Sundance on top of your channel’s grave!
Hope you’re ready to burn out Jeff, ‘cause that’s all that Stars do
I’m spitting, committed to splitting you. You won’t be around for part 2!

Jeffree:
Watch it hun! I’m an internet icon, this bygone is nothing!
You really can’t throw shade at the shine coming off my Diamond button!
Got millions of followers, your demographic is teeny!
With the way you treat female fans, the real “Creepshow”’s Savini!
Enough Smoke and Mirror, your whole life is bomb
This fake vet was only shooting pics in Vietnam 
Everything you do misfires, it seems to be your lot
Maybe you could ask your daughter how to shoot a better shot

Tom:
Again you go for the cheapest hits, the easy shit, you freaking ditz!
This racist kid, and tasteless twit. Your talents being wasted, bitch!
Wanna question my honor? Your love life is a goner
Only fit in at my school as a model for the monster!
Keep calling me old? Well you’re goddamn right!
Was making movies violent when you were back at Prom Night!
Film is a magical medium, but even I couldn’t make your bars stand out
With that crap performance, even your fans are thinking….What Now?

Jeffree Star Vs. Tom Savini(Prod. by Frankie vibes)

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20High%20Stakes.mp3
Written By: Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Raichous as Shaggy
RaccoonBroVA As Brock
Additional Help By Raichous


Shaggy:

Scoob! Go grab the snacks! Like, this’ll be fast!
When Shaggy is starting a rap, Like, you’ll lose to him faster than Ash!
I’ve gone against werewolves, and zombies, and ghosts! Like, I’ll leave a tagalong pounded
I find it ironic, your ace was an Onix, but you’re the one that’s getting Ground-ed!
You claim you have rock hard defenses, but don't have the stones to offend
Gave your last badge to a kid who cheated you in a fight when he was ten
And how did your story end? Replaced by a cilantro copy
With your chances of landing the cop or the nurse, in the nicest of  terms, being “Rocky”
While my series ain’t stopping. Like, I paved the way in animation!
The only thing your show’s leading in, is kid’s hospitalization
Over the years, portrayals were racey. Maybe I should be battling Tracy
You’ll need more than pebbles to faze me. There’s no dodging when you face me!

Brock:

Sorry Shaggy, but your tactics really had no effect
As a gym leader, I’m in charge of putting newbies in check
Think that you’re tough? Stop lying, man. You spend the whole mystery crying, man
So if flooding with flow’s your entire plan? Too bad I’ll be safe with my drying pan!
The OG rolling from Kanto! Your solo shows never finish.
If only you could Get a Clue. Your fanbase has quickly diminished.
You’re running from rubber masks. I throw myself into danger
I met with Dittos and mimes, but Denver’s clone’s still stranger!
And I bide my time, you’re rushing for cover to hide
Try as you might, you’ll end up greener than Hyde!
Can’t burn me, I’ve got Guts. I’m taking every attack
Think that you’ll earn my badge? You’ll have to be Boulder than that

Shaggy:

Your raps are ghost types, man. Completely see through
The way this Creeper acts, man, he’s on the verge of a “me too!”
So take defeat dude! Your traveling partners don’t need you!
Especially when it would take only like one percent of my power to beat you!
The sleuthing student moving though straight from the 60s
This dumb fiend may be 15, but ends up looking 50!
So try and hit, your disses miss me, listen to my voice
Like, I’m so amazing, I could beat you with one Zoinks!

Brock:

Your spitting is weak, no surprise though. I could beat this freak with my eyes closed.
Your WB’s Super High joke. I’m Bulldozing you with these tight flows!
His peers and his parents can’t stand him. Constant emotional damages.
I’m helping conquer gods while Rogers is conquering sandwiches!
You gluttonous Munchlax, you’d chomp through anything to get your fill
I studied Pokemon medicine, I’m an expert at things that are ill
From Lillard to West, your films are a mess, so testing me is a poor play
Hide behind the Blue Falcon, 'cause rapping isn't your Forte

Shaggy Vs. Brock

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kBndlkZgME

Holt Voiced By JordoMIB
Swanson Voiced By Matt Raichous
Peralta Voiced By Stark Media
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie

Holt:

Peralta! Who’s this hairy woodsman in my office?
That pine smell is noxious! He looks so obnoxious!

Jake:

Umm, sir? It’s a rap battle. You’re fighting with disses?

Holt:

Ridiculous! He should know a Captain’s shot never misses!

Ron:

I don’t like you, but I respect the effort
Maybe you should sit this out, don’t think you really wanna get hurt
I’m an expert as a wrecker, or protector, you’ll be busted.
And I hope you’re ready for some Really Good verse Construction

Holt:

I’m the leader of a team, cleaning the streets with precision
While this pigeon isn’t a smidge interested in decisions!
So just listen, all initiative you get goes to waste
So put down the sax, Duke. Silver’s always second place!
Just face it, I’m the greatest in the B99
You’re complacent,  work and laziness walking a fine line
Built up a sense of greatness, but you winning only relates
When you’re ripping through dozens of eggs, like it’s practice for Ann’s place!
And honestly? You’re trying too hard to be anonymous
You’re not some big shot hero: You’re just a common bitch!
No chance that Raymond’s bombing this, I’m obviously better
If I wanted to deal with an old dog, I’d call Cheddar!

Ron:

They gave your cop comedy a spot, but it was wasted
It’s like Mike took his best show and copied and pasted!
Got the lovable dumb lead, the overachieving partner
Sassy and badass women, and the losers, just for starters!
When it comes to spitting harder, I’m blunt with no jokes
Think of this as betting on the ponies, Raymond, ‘cause you’re going broke.
Holt is starting to choke, Velvet Thunder’s a Wet Blanket
Only time you run a track is with your childhood train set

Holt:

Crushing the competition. Is this Jimmie Jabby too?
Try accusing me of cheating, but I’m not Tammy 2!
Not too shabby of a poet, I’m a master with my tone
If you try to spit another verse, you’ll end up BOOOONED

Ron:

Those raps dragged on like your time in uniform did.
I’m so iconic, my stache is always era appropriate
The key to dealing with your bars, is just not listening
To flow so robotic, Twitter thinks a bot’s dissing me
In competition Ron is a General like his namesake
The only time you tried solving a case is when you played Jake!
I’m calling you the Government, you’re crazy and useless
Get your doctor hubby to take a look at your bruises

Raymond Holt Vs. Ron Swanson - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

So, as my way of saying thankyou for all the views and support, I decided to post a second battle this month! A battle about family. And love. And......kicking ass? I don't know. Either way, thank you for everything that you've done. You guys make this possible.


Hank Voiced By Raichous
Red Voiced By Raichous
Thumbnail By SPM1000

BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzu_95-l6DY


Red:(Spoken) My foot is about to write a rap for your ass

Red: The US vet against redneck Ted Cruz
With the can-do of the Red White and Blue, I can’t lose
Maybe get Boomhauser to help ya spit fast
You sell grill fuel because you’re full of hot gas!
Now I won’t sugar coat how I feel about Bobby
The way you raise your son, he’ll turn out to be a commie!
Your animation’s sloppy, you can’t draw out a diss
Judging by your rifle skills, all your shots are gonna miss
I was pulling in laughs, as the grumpy pop
You dragged behind Macfarlene then Fox let you drop!
But I’ll give you a shot, even though I’ll still beat ya
Chance of you winning is as narrow as your urethra
Your problems with Cotton? They're clearly in view
But this is not the first time a Dad’s had issues with you!
You must be on “fish bait” if you think you’ll last
So let’s see you try and rap back, dumbass!

Hank:

God dammit Bobby! What is that racket?
I’m not really thinking Egghead is gonna crack it.
Attacking the mack daddy from Heimlich? Insane!
I’m an expert at ass-kicking. Call that pro pain
Judging how I’m gonna raise my kid ain’t smart
Your boy’s gonna grow up with Venom in his heart
You’re a tasteless racist caricature with a complex
Looks like the Navy man swabbed off his “Top Deck”
You wanna lay a hand on your son? You’re a coward
Having to bully teens just to feel a little power
Anybody coming to you for tips must be crazy.
Maybe you should take advice on how to treat your lady!
What amazes me, despite how you love competing
The cast from your reboot has a better chance at beating me!
You call yourself a man? Can’t fool me in a fight
Red needs to get checked, that boy ain’t right

Red:

Saying I’m not right? Don’t make me laugh!
I’ll give you an adult sized boot in the ass!
This sheepish weak fisted wimp ain’t raw
When the only reaction he has is “Bwaah”!
Still can’t poop? Because you’re so full of crap
So dull on the track, you need your grill for hot raps!
Try to fix your verse, but it’s all in vain
You dropped the ball even harder than your wife off a plane!

Hank:

I think Dale would’ve made more sense with rhymes
You must've sat in  "The Circle" ‘fore spitting a line!
You never really think before going off with hasty words.
Red’s such a dog, he should face Ladybird!
And try to talk shop about my kin? Just can it.
You’re picking favorites in the family dynamic!
I’ve had it with this asshole, you need to shut up.
Did the King of the Hill keep his crown? Yup.

Red Forman Vs. Hank Hill - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Sheldon Voiced By Matt Raichous
Spencer Voiced By  RaccoonBroVA
Thumbnail By Oofie
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Additional Help By Cri and Anthony Rigatanthoni


BEAT: Old School Slim Shady Type Beat / Weird Funny Hip Hop Rap Beat "Kiss My Ass" Prod. ILL Fortune





Sheldon:

Leonard! Did you call the FBI?
Looks like Quantico sent the OCD P.I.
I would be impressed by your skills on the street
But they won’t help you find how I kill the beat(Bazinga)
I got lyrical theory, scientifically I’m superior
Check the Emmys I got, your show is just inferior
You were growing up delirious, a schizophrenic time bomb
Show was such a bygone, it’s being preached by my mom
You use science as a gimmick
For the magic that you use to fail to pick up women
And It should be a given, getting the fans adoring
But somehow you can make chasing criminals boring
You think I’m jealous, you captured tons of felons?
While I’m still here pulling crowds as Young Sheldon
But I should probably tell him in this match, I got this
My raps are so addicting, you can call them dilaudid.

Spencer:

Hotch? Rossi? This doesn’t seem right.
The MO of our guy says he doesn’t like to fight
But he’s actually here. Trying to get me riled
You wanna play games? Let’s start the profile
A wordy nerd pushing up into his 30s
Ego makes him think he’s worthy, but in truth he’s undeserving
Of a flurry of appraisal his fans just overused
Like the laugh track you abuse to tell them they’re amused!
For us geeks, friends are hard to find.
Which is why it’s baffling you insult yours all the time
I was tortured and shot, needing a cane to walk
But that wasn’t as painful as listening to you talk
Thinking you’re the Apex human is confusing
I drop bombs like Garner, you got twice his delusions!
I push passed my fears, you run away when you’re frightened
You’re Friends with Flags? Time to throw up the white one

Sheldon:

Sorry Reid, I’m disproving your theory
Think you make an impact, let’s look back at our series
(Heh heh) In less time I was made into an icon
Comedy even tighter than the sweater vests you try on
Tried proving your tough, but not effective
When your whole crew treats you like the junior detective
You strive to find happiness just to watch it all end
Left a hole in your heart and your dead girlfriend

Spencer:

You can claim that my life is a tragedy
But really if you ask me, the only thing that’s sad to see
Is you actually convince some lonely girl to marry you
Surprised you didn’t flee, Smarter guys are always scaring you!
And you’ll need more than catchphrases to faze me
It’s crazy they let your show’s writing be lazy
So as you fame fades, there’s no point in faking it
This win isn’t your spot, ‘cause I’m the one taking it

Sheldon Cooper Vs. Spencer Reid - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Originally uploaded: December 4, 2020

UBERocity as Squidward
Raichous as Bert
Written by Serena and Mason
Produced by Kustom
Mixed and Mastered by Serena

Squidward:
I've been welcomed to battle by a silly moaning bonehead
It takes a musical genius to crack this yellow conehead
It’s ironic that his show makes me feel braindead
I’d rather watch Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared instead!
You grew up in the street? Coulda fooled me
You only appeal to kids with ADHD
As annoying as he is, even Spongebob would agree
This is more of a waste of time than Journey to Ernie

Bert:
Oh wow, the brash cashier wants to say his two cents?
It makes sense, it’s time I beat this fishy nuisance
You call me annoying? Stop running your mouth
It’s not the first time you’d come second to a dude with a better brow
Going strong since the 60s, your series appals
Season 4 was your C4, no doubt Bikini took Atoll
2004 was your peak, after that, you sunk
After good ol’ Steven’s death, you’ll never leave this funk

Squidward:
2004 was my peak? Let’s look at the facts
For one, at least my network didn’t give me the axe
It makes a lot of sense that you stay in the basement
Hiding that you’re buddy buddy with the extremists
Your presence is unbearable, comedy’s inconsistent
That seems to be what happens when you don’t have your assistant
This may be a rap battle, but I don’t need to Dutchman’s curse
Leaving you flying away, make sure to Follow That Burn

Bert:
PBS cut us off, because they knew when to stop
Nickelodeon just doesn’t, that’s why their ratings flop
We’re buddy buddy with Al Qaeda? Come again man?
That was a rumour, you must be dumber than your fans!
I don’t need Ernie, I’m a one man concerto
Riddle me this, who would watch the Squidward show?
No one, that’s who, I guess it wouldn’t be a change
You appeal to children, I appeal to any age
After my verse, I’m positive you’ll be done
Your rapping is somehow worse than Sponge On The Run
You were reaching for disses, everyone could tell
Kids, this battle’s brought to you by the letter L

Squidward Vs Bert. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. UBERocity and Raichous)

JEFF: 
It’s the CEO of Amazon plus the richest man on earth,
I can tell by the way you waste money, your IQ is what you're worth!

You should purchase those rats you sell, to take care of this pest!
Better hope you have good luck, to get out of this mess! (Ohhhh)

Claiming good rhymes and bars? Not since HP Lovecraft
Has someone had trouble spelling out “war” or “Cat”

You dropped out of school? Ok, now drop a good rhyme! 
You got rich off of luck, didn’t earn a single dime! (Ohhh)

I got the Slick suit, and Lex Luther appearance
You got peasant clothing, straight outta the clearance

I’m slicker than you, even during my midlife crisis!
Cuz I’m beating this man, fast like my same day delivery! 

TIMOTHY: 

Make way, make way! For the thy bestest lord ever!
I’ll slay, I’ll slay! This washed up terror!

Saying I’m dumb? Well, look at my riches! (Ha)
I could make double of that, with your workplace conditions!
Do like your father, and just go back to the circus!
Cuz I see nothing but a clown, failing at his purpose!

I’ll tell you, Dr.Egghead, to hide away, you hack!
Do what I say, for I pull my musket and attack! (Saying ARGH! At the same time as he says attack )

Got my freedom suit on, like a true American patriot 
While one hurricane is enough to start the riots!

People like you, are the type to try to make me bankrupt, 
I swim in gold, you’re swimming in the debt that your company has brought!

JEFF: 

face it, Timothy, this will be the second time you die!
but trust me when I say, you won’t get away this time!

Like Jesus, man, your brain was split into fours!
Even on Audible, I never heard a story dumber than yours!

My flow is more fire than the Amazon forest, man!
With 2 day delivery, I could deliver more bed warming pans!

I made OVER BILLIONS, just working in my garage!
I wouldn’t listen to your book, a pickle for the knowing ones! 

If it weren't for Sam’ O Nella, you would have been forgotten!
Like I’m coming back from space, face the bars that I’m dropping!

Have a lookout for your win, they’ll be none, from what I’ve heard,
Check your ring doorbell, cuz I just delivered a better verse!

TIMOTHY: 

Disrespecting your superiors again, Jeffery?
I’ll have to pull out the ol’ cane for that Blasphemy!

And people do actually know me, you must be uninformed
Cause like the coal I sell, you’re getting burned

I’ll call you a continental dollar, cuz you're getting owned!
Struggling to beat Musk for the richest man’s throne!

You’re a wannabe- while I’m an OG, 
All I need to beat thee - is continental currency

Jeff Bezos vs. Timothy Dexter- Rap Battle! (Ft. Matt Raichous & KingMewtwo)

Andy Voiced By Matt Raichous
James Voiced By RaccoonBroVA
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Thumbnail By Matt Raichous



Beat: Lethal - Hard Dark Angry Trap Beat | Prod. By Dansonn Beats

Andy:

When it comes to reviews and reboots, this Psycho knows a lot.
I've witnessed previews and scenes, dude, threaded through boring plots
But the most drawn out of installment of any horror flop
Hasn't left me as cold as this guy's jokes and whole corny shlock!
Now, in ‘17, your little counting game had hit Youtube
And now you rely on Zoran and co for those extra views.
Can’t say I’m impressed by your resume. Your industry chops don’t mean shit to me!
Every word I say leaves you in Misery. While you would need triple the words just dissing me!
I fought with Jason, came face to face with a Myers’ knife
The biggest threats you’re facing are with those copyright strikes!
Leatherface must love James since he’s so bare-boned.
So treat your verse like your wedding and leave it postponed
And with these flows, I’ll leave you choked up as the plot thickens
The way you run from Thanks-killing 3, this turkey is more of a chicken!
No asylum can contain these insane flows when I’m spitting raw
Kill a beat so hard, you might as well give me that golden chainsaw!

James:

Hey there, it’s James A Janisse, and I’m here to say in the least
I’ve counted bodies, zombies and results of cannibal feasts
But I still can’t handle this geek, disgusting humor’s astounding
4 million subs still compounding! You have what, 50 thousand?
And I get bloody on tracks, it’s your Final Destination
So there’s no chance to attack the Youtube Horror sensation
DID jokes are what you’re based on, you’re a racist tasteless sleaze
And if you really want a face off, I would throw the nacho cheese!

Andy:

Andy? I’m scared. Hey don’t worry little buddy.
Yeah. Let me grab the mic. I can turn this battle bloody.
Don’t muddy up my intentions, I’m climbing the ranks to be your replacement
While you hide behind all of your editors, I’m working solo in my basement!
I’m roaring like Rex, my special effects give my videos magic
The fact that the fans stick around for you spouting numbers is honestly tragic
This has-been is getting the Boot. Gonna curbstomp your face to end ya.
I’ll see you in hell. And when you get there? Tell me Andy sent ya!




James:

Think I’m impressed? Your repetitive jokes are lazy and petty
Wanna spit sharp, but it seems you’re stuck wielding a dull Machete!
So just get ready, James is aiming to slay, you can’t recover
And I’m crushing you harder than a sequel to Last summer!
Your life is a bummer, your parents were glad to have leave you abandoned
But keeping their corpses? Now you’re just stealing from Norman’s canon
And live in fantasies of slaughtering your therapist
Forced to bandage up your face, since even YOU were too scared of it!
You’re claim to be unique but all he has going for him
Is another grumpy horror version of an Angry VGN
Fighting the villains? Seen it. Destroying the movies? Seen it.
But violating a pastry for laughs? We really didn’t wanna see it!
And I couldn’t imagine your shlock fest making an impact
Thinking your rep is intact? I’ll shatter you like a Mandy axe!
You describe yourself as a Maniac, so maybe take some advice
Retire from your tired shtick. It'd be the first time you did something nice.

James A. Janisse Vs. Andy The Maniacal Cinephile - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

NOTE: This was supposed to be uploaded on the 12th, sticking with the pattern of every 12th and 24th of each month being the upload day. Unfortunately, I was suffering from major alcohol poisoning and was bed-ridden for 36 hours. My apologies. So enjoy!


Two-Face Voiced By Matt Raichous
Cruella Voiced By JesseBoxVO
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By TheDangerStranger

BEAT: Base De Rap - "JAZZ SAX" | Hip Hop Instrumental | BOOM BAP TYPE BEAT FREESTYLE | DAGA BEATMAKER


Two Face:

I’ll take a break from running Gotham’s underground
I’ve dealt with rodents, Kryptonians, even freaks and clowns
So I can go a round against The Disney Fur Fanatic
Crash you like your car chase when I blast you like an automatic!
I leave caskets  and tragedy in my wake
Your plots were more baked than you inside a cake!
Leave a skeleton shaking like she dosed with Crane’s toxins
Get Jasper and Horace to come and take your spot then
Call you the devil? The Radcliffes must be dummies
Your biggest criminal act was failing to steal puppies!
Head or tails, Cruella? Either way, you’re losing!
So many dogs, but you’re still the biggest bitch in the movies!

Cruella:

Oh, were you starting? Oh sorry Harvey.
You’ll need more to Dent Cruella, darling!
Check my coat, you know this woman’s balling
I’ve seen you try rocking purple. That was appalling.
The weakness member of the Bat’s Rouge Gallery
Forced to use a coin flip to choose your faux morality
Just check my salary, this fashion queen is making bank
You carry two guns, bitch, so why’d you only fire blanks?
Your canon’s full of heartache, life played you like poker
Then Schumacher took over and turned you into Joker!
But the real joke is you thinking you’ll win this battle
I’d rather hear Roger’s songs than your prattle!


Two Face:

That was it? You barely put up a fight.
But the difference between you and me is black and white
I’ve faced the Dark Knight, you failed against the dogs twice
You aren’t skating by when I put Disney broads On Ice!
You’ll hit the concrete, tails up like a bad flip
When I go crazy on you and treat you like an Arkham trip!
Can’t hide behind your reboot clout for cover
You’ll be eaten alive. I guess you are like your mother

Cruella:

The only Hyde I know is the one you're based on
I’ve seen you in a court-case, you can’t handle a face off!
An acid tongue attorney got the acid skin bath
Your girl couldn’t stand the fact your personality’s in halves!
And reboot disses? Mr 52’s a hypocrite!
No wonder you’re so negative, with Marvel making better flicks!
Two Face is getting bit. I won’t give you another turn
Your coin can’t help heal you from another burn.

Two-Face Vs. Cruella De Vil - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Lyrics/Beat: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oRqEeEbJ6oVLUtx_xc6Ty9FjCOzXYKQOMhJWQeV--5g/edit
Alex M. as Junkrat
garbageGothic as Misato Tachibana
Matt Raichous as Roadhog
RaccoonBroVA as Koujirou Sasahara
Written by Legengo and MetaMachine
Mixing by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat arrangement by Raisu Battles
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by Anywaywell
Hint for next OVvA: "Running Tracks at Record Speed"

Junkrat vs. Misato Tachibana - Overwatch vs. Anything #1

Hey whaddaya know I release battles

Mancha (UBERocity) as Elder Kettle
Matt Raichous as Hopediah Plantar
Prod. by InsaneBeatz
Writing by Alchemyking
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by JK03
Special thanks: Raisu Battle, RNG, MetaMachine, Quizzique, Snakebite126

LYRICS:
Elder Kettle:
I thought my boys already beat some frogs in a standoff
Unless you’re their grandpa, but after an edge sand-off
This fight would end no different if I just went and slept in
It’s my radio against your cane; of course you’re getting poor reception
You’re a revolutionary icon, so it’s a pity
That despite your claims to “eat the rich”, you’re still a slave to Disney
I’ll leave your HP draining, as I go in for the kill
It’s fitting that this Farmer got screwed over by a Bill

Hop Pop:
Felicia’s equipment came to life to blow steam at me?
Well, call in King Andrias, ‘cause I’m about to spill the tea
How ‘bout you eat some veggies, not that sweet garbage you’re craving?
The last time your house had greens in it, it was a home invasion
Now, I’d be nicer, but Fleischer miser’s none the wiser
When I reverse the roles, spit fire on this baby in a diaper
We both have mashed up garbage in an effort to get rich,
But my dishonesty pales in comparison to what’s spat out by Netflix

Elder Kettle:
You’re talking to a vet, so in battles, I’m a sound ten
I can tell you’re green with envy, like you’re dipping in a fountain
I can see through all the flaws you fail at masking, so I’m asking
How’d you fail at that and rapping, when acting is your passion?
Werner’s no longer the biggest rat that I’ve smelled in a fair while
‘Cause you lie to your foster daughter, leaving split ends like your hairstyle
Hey, Hop Pop & Roll, make this another fight where you’ll run
You’re only top of the pecking order when the herons come

Hop Pop:
I’m an old one, but still ripe, while you’re bursting at the seams
Lookin’ to best me with those Peashooters? Forget the ding-dang dream!
You’re a musty, rusting bucket; bustin’ you shouldn’t be that hard
I just buried a box; your boys try to bury you in the yard!
I own a snail that moves faster than you; you’re bound for the grave
Yet you still torment your children, leaving them going “I don’t feel safe!”
I’ll go back to my avocados, which leave my fame blooming, so
Why don’t you mortgage your house, just like your parent studio?

Elder Kettle vs. Hop Pop - Disney Rap Battles

Light_IWNL as Freddy Fazbear
Matt Raichous as Bonnie the Bunny
garbageGothic as Chica the Chicken
Vladimyr P. as Foxy the Pirate

MetaMachine as Duck Guy
King Can Productions as Yellow Guy
MidgeCat as Red Guy
Eric the Audible as Sketchbook


WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S
AGAINST
DON’T HUG ME I’M SCARED
BEGIN


Freddy Fazbear:
So I’ll step up to the Mic if you think I can’t pack a bite
But how do you get this idea when Fazbear will bring your Fright!?

Bonnie the Bunny:
I could win this Solo; dissing puppets and a hobo
Our Silver Eyes can see that these robots will bring your End-o

Chica the Chicken:
My screws are loose from you now I’m so glad ya took the night shift!
Celebrate Victory cuz your “grotesque work” was lousier than Mike Schmidt’s!

Foxy the Pirate:
Y-Y-YAR! I’m cunning, my design’s stunning while you three are on the fritz
I’m running properly whilst you’re underdeveloped like a kid!

Freddy Fazbear:
We’re Robin’ victories like souls and we’ll forever take the gold

Foxy the Pirate:
Don’t underestimate me, matey or you’ll be hooked in Pirate’s Cove!

Chica the Chicken:
bet you’re shocked we’ll leave you dropped because your show was such a flop!

Bonnie the Bunny:
You couldn’t ever drop the bass and a win? You couldn’t Cop.


Duck Guy:
Eh, Pesky Bees, stop the noise, 

Yellow Guy:
it’s not my birthday

Red Guy:
They’re just little kids trapped in bots who think that they’re on broadway
Turn the Paige for a new chapter.. but your defeat’s still in the book

Yellow Guy:
Their games are like the color green.. Ain’t that right Sketchbook? (Paige): Yeah!

Yellow Guy:
Matpat was right, 

Duck Guy:
you improvise your games, 

Red Guy:
with no real story.
Click onto our episodes if you want this to get gory

Duck Guy:
Your Help is never Wanted, though it seems something is wrong

Yellow Guy:
Weren’t they supposed to get a movie? Guess that didn’t last long. 
Cuz your games are fading; and you’re no longer the trending fad
But it seems you all AR(e) micro-soft, quite unlike my dad

Duck Guy:
I couldn’t compute why they meddled with us, as they are not on par with the win we settled

Red Guy:
So I wonder what will happen when we scrap these hunks of metal.


Chica the Chicken:
Let’s beat ‘em and Eat ‘em up! But I guess not enough is on the plate!

Foxy the Pirate:
You couldn’t ever be the flashlight that be making Foxy P-Irate

Bonnie the Bunny:
So just quit clownin’ around; your gimmicks’ cheaper than our salary

Freddy Fazbear:
And these kids will go missing when they glitch out of reality

Bonnie the Bunny:
For your belated murder

Foxy the Pirate:
There’s a P-Party Inside.

Freddy Fazbear:
Where Freddy Files you a pink slip

Chica the Chicken:
then we’ll fine dine and you’ll die!

Freddy Fazbear:
You weren’t ready for Freddy

ALL:
and Friends to shred ya’ to confetti

Freddy Fazbear:
But Your friends are not forever cuz I’ll eat them like spaghetti


Yellow Guy:
That verse seemed a little rustic so go drown yourself in Oil

Red Guy:
Seems you spat too little heat but still managed to burn your coils?

Duck Guy:
You’re running out of timmee!-

Red Guy:
Uh.. too bad your programs couldn’t think of more creative rhymes

Duck Guy:
Your victory is just a theory; your game’s overdone and dreary

Yellow Guy:
The bird eats the worms 

Duck Guy:
more like the wannabe Chuck E
Who spat Cheesy like their Pizza’s 

Red Guy:
boost them out the booth, 

Yellow Guy:
It's game over!

Red Guy:
And now I’m pulling the plug because their mommies need closure


WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP BATTLE


Written by: Vlad
Beat Producer: Beatg33kz
Mixer / Effects: Vlad
Cover Art Made by Vlad
FNAF Cover Art Renders by EddieFRB

Five Nights at Freddy's vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared. Sinister Rap Battles

Originally released: November 19, 2017

@bmrb8c as Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo
Danny DC as Courage
@mancha-4 as Mr. Pickles

Written by: Henry Jones, @swoldow_evgrb, @user-120833346, B O R K, @dannyplaysgames-422800890, @kirbythatisred, Powerpunk Gamer, @samuelcrazyworld, Danny DC, and @king-mewtwo
Cover art by: Aaron Peters
Beat produced by: @tristanonthetrack
Mixed by: @dannyplaysgames-422800890

Lyrics:
Scooby-Doo:
Ruh, roh! You seem frightened, I’ll leave this one network to crash
When I unleash these bars, you’ll head back in the trash
Chomp! You’re going down like a scooby snack!
You take more abuse than both your owners, and now you make me look bad
I guess you're looking for a win, but your victory is Nowhere!
While I make kids and adults laugh, you give viewers nightmares!
You're facing the top dog on CN?, now do a favour for all of us and me
Go back to being cancelled, or I’ll again leave this Ramses as a mummy (Rehehehehe)

Courage:
When I'm done with you, I’ll kick your ass back to the 1960’s!
Once he makes like his million bootlegs, it’ll truly be a treat
This’ll be a piece of pie, cuz I spit my rhymes hot
You called yourself the top dog? You’re clearly no mascot
Your bars are worse than your WWE crossover, and that's a fact
I’d rather rap against Scrappy than this Scooby-Dumbass
I do the things I do for the people’s love, while you do what you do for snacks 
What’s New Scooby Doo? He’s dead like his show! And he's never coming back

Mr. Pickles:
This ain't an April Fools joke! It's Mr. Pickles here to say
That there’s no use running or swimming, you bitches will never get away!
With sharp teeth to break your bones, and a knife to slice your throats
I'll take all of your organs, now I've got this mayor’s goat!
I’m the most frightening dog, while you’re just the Goosebumps part
While you’re chasing costumes, I've yet to hear you two bark!
Now I’ll take you underground, where this world has never seen!
And with that being said, boys...HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Scrappy-Doo:
PUPPY POWER!

Hint: Green villain vs green protagonist. One fails at his plans while the other succeeds.

Scooby-Doo vs Courage the Cowardly Dog. T.V. Rap Battles 2.

for peoples 'cause people wanted to hear it again lol

Julian as Washington
Raichous as Cap. America
Writer: Trakked
Beat by: Marsad Men
Mixed by: Light

Battle:
George Washington:
I declare this child’s toy uncouth, therefore this comic will be stripped
I’ll turn this Crossbones into brom bones; you can’t defeat me with your shield tricks!
Let me break the ice, I can’t tell a lie, you’re an imbecillic creation
I can’t tell what’s weirder; your plot, or just your amalgamation!
So, i’ll need you to step down, Soldier, or my rhymes will be colder than the Winter
I crossed the Delaware on Christmas! I’m sure you haven’t done anything bigger
Like any Infinity War, i’ll leave this impostor fading away
But like you did against Thanos, with me, you’ll meet your Endgame

Captain America:
Captain’s here, fella, ya better Roger that or step down
You can’t ever deny my fame! I’m an American-made powerhouse!
Not even your cannonballs could put a dent in my shield
It’s my Golden Age! You’re past your expiration date, it’s sealed! 
I’m a true Daredevil on the mic, while you’re Quaking in your boots
I suggest you turn Nomad-ic, or at least retreat with your troops
It’s time to wash this Washington out, before he gets captured, like the Hessians
But, I Valley Forged this victory! You should be needing Avengin’

George Washington:
While I was fighting for independence, you were fighting bees and skulls
So tell me Cappy, who do you really think is under control?

Captain America:
My rhymes are vibranium-plated; I’m high up on the ranks, see?
I saved America from Nazi forces! You really should be thanking me!

George Washington:
I’ll leave you nuked down like Bucky,and i wont leave the viewers wanting more
‘Cause i’ll leave this captain frozen once again, like a Cold War

Captain America:
With that political background, weird that political parties were your phobia
Call this your Farewell Address; I gave you a second case of pneumonia

Captain America vs George Washington - Reupload

Vladimyr P. as Darkiplier / Markiplier
Raichous as Antisepticeye

UNIVERSAL RAP BATTLES
MARKIPLIER
VERSUS
JACKSEPTICEYE—(Lags)
…
…
…
...WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
DARKIPLIER
AGAINST
ANTISEPTICEYE
BEGIN

Darkiplier:
I’ve waited a long time for this, now the time has come
You’ll end up like Markiplier, ending you with RedRum
The last time we’ve come face to face we were rudely interrupted
So I wonder what will happen once your files are corrupted
I’m the god of both Raspy Hill and YouTube Hell!
No one will love you like I did before your subs rapidly fell
Now go back to shunning pumpkins since that’s all you’re good for
And once you leave this forever, I will show you the door

Antisepticeye:
Your rhymes were weak! It’s MY turn now!
Let’s have an Island Adventure; six feet in the ground
You’ll move Toward the Light, then I’ll drag you back down!
You’re the king of FNAF? Well now I wear the crown!
There’s no date that could resolve when I’m the evolution
Of You-Tube; meanwhile you’re just the Logan Paul-ution!
You’ll be dry and out of flow, is something I won’t decry
And once you catch sight of I, It will be time to Say Goodbye...

Darkiplier:
I know you’ll miss me, Anti, so there’s no point for me to leave
But Don’t you dare Blink or I’ll make your eyes do more than bleed
“Who Killed this track?” Is the last thing you’ll be asking since
Your life-stream has ended along with your shitty rapping cuz
You always seem to try things that are destined to fail
So rapping your way out of this won’t lead you to prevail
Why don’t you go home, cause your bubble’s one I should burst:
How can you attempt to beat me if you didn’t come first? (Dark Laughs)

*Build up with Anti Actor going all over the place*

Antisepticeye:
I'm back again, you thought I was gone?
I’m the devil's creation, you're my pawn!
I’m growing stronger, you’re weaker than Jack
You got a date with death, your vision turns Dark, black
So Mark my words, bitch, I’m not the only glitch
With all that makeup you spat, I will leave your mouth stitched
I’m the killer of tracks, you’re the death of your own
You are quite the Error, and I sit on the throne
You’re in 53rd, think you can get to the top?
But you’re more of a mess than a kids’ desktop!
Don’t Play with me, I’m in control! So stop me while you can,
Because I exist to kill, your only life is in your fans!

Darkiplier:
You really think that victory’s an option? Glitch Bitch.
You best go run to Jacky Boy if you actually thought this.

Antisepticeye:
Then your loss IS an option you VHS Cunt
I’m sick and tired of your rapping so let me be blunt
You’re a fucking disgrace!

Darkiplier:
Like your whole fan-base?
I mean, you came in second place, so just give me myspace
Now go kill yourself again

Antisepticeye:
NOT UNTIL YOU DO IT FIRST
I'LL MAKE YOU END UP LIKE DANIEL, BUT THIS TIME, IT’LL BE WORSE
(HAHAHA)

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP BATTLE

Writers: Vlad and DCARaps
Beat / Mixer / Effects by: Vlad
Beats Produced by: Tristan
Cover Art Made By: Vlad

Darkiplier vs Antisepticeye. Sinister Rap Battles

They say that Justice is blind, indeed that’s truly the case with today’s characters.
It’s Homestuck’s Seer of Mind; Terezei Pyrope versus Marvel’s Man Without Fear; Matthew Murdock aka Daredevil!


Raichous as Daredevil
GarbageGothic as Terezi 

Writing and Mixing: ForgottenSon
Beat: Hollywood Legend 

Daredevil:
It’s time to Tip the Scales, let’s see if you handle this
I’m bringing some BL1ND JUST1C3, in more ways than one, you kid.
As the evidence suggests, to your friends you’re just a nuisance
How can you step to me when I spit more heat than your lusus?
Don’t try to Pester me, Chum or you’ll be surprised what I bring
This girl looks like the product of Invader Zim and a tiefling.
Terezi, forget Gordon Ramsay, I run Hell’s Kitchen when I strike  
I’m the Man Without Fear, but how you treat dolls is just “Yikes”

Terezi:
Court is now in session Matt Murdock, the stage is set for me to show
I put some Thought into this verse, and now it’s time for me to Flow
Just Marvel at my Power, Man, they’ll leave your senses groggy
Could you briefly describe yourself? I think my Mind’s a little bit Foggy
If we Collide in battle, Jack, better hope that you’re a tough guy
I guess that in both rap and comics you’ve failed to hit a Bullseye
If not by law, then by my dual blades I will come Get ya
then my words will pierce you in the heart as if it was Elektra

Daredevil:
Must’ve stolen lyrics from Dave, So have some originality 
And scourging with Vriska really tells me 'bout your personality  
I find you guilty of lying in every bar that you’re sending
Since your last verse made more sense than your Story’s Ending

Terezi:
You’re one to talk about stealing things, so that diss wasn’t brighter, man!
You stole outfit from satan and your main villain from Spider-Man
Chalk up one win on my board and this Seer right here predicts
That this Catholic won’t be Born Again, just like his show on Netflix!

Next time: Bizarre Bloodlines

Daredevil vs Terezi Pyrope [RBotForgotten #2]

Raichous as Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow
Vladimyr P. as Freddy Krueger

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
JONATHAN CRANE
AGAINST
FREDDY KRUEGER
BEGIN

Jonathan Crane:
Step into my office, lie down, Frederick Krueger, is it?
Molester? ..yes? I guess I’ll mark that off my list
Give you a dream you can’t achieve, to see if you can rock this
But your rhymes won’t be as toxic as my fear toxins
Scarecrow:
The word around town is you feed off childhood cowardice
So let’s turn the tables, and show you how it feels to be powerless
No need to spring-your-wood out when your prey goes to bed
So try not to get fired up when you couldn’t get a-head

Freddy Krueger:
And to think that Dr. Crane would serve burns more severe than mine
But then he came packing potato sacks and some nursery rhymes
So listen up, bitch, it’s my time to split the fabric
Now I’ll take this therapist and show him how to rap classic
You ain’t worth shit, Jonathan, and you set your standards low
Because your flow is limited by the comic book code
Walk down the yellow brick road, that is where your win lies
You’re in the house that I built bitch, so try to run and hide

Scarecrow:
I Wes Craven a real fight, but what I get is his flimsy Christmas rap?
I’ll unwrap that Santa Claw likes when children sit on his lap
You got ruined by both Myers and Bay? Wow, that’s no fair blow
Then we’ll rejoice that Freddy’s Dead all thanks to the Scarecrow

Freddy Krueger:
You think that I can die bitch!? Only in your wet dreams!
So let’s go behind the scenes to see your head split by the seam

Scarecrow:
I'm not Scared by your flow cuz I’m nightmare inducing
While your whole design is fitting for a Disney Princess movie

Freddy Krueger:
Your backstory is boring, I’m not at all appealed
While your parents have abandoned you, lifeless in a field
This is the last straw, and this won’t be your Brightest Day
As I make like those crows, you’ll be turned into my prey

Scarecrow:
(Hahaha) Prey you say? Though, It seems I’ve caught you slackin’
I’ve seen jumpscares more scarier from a crawling Michael Jackson
I’d roast this boast at most if he wasn’t already burned
Cuz a little crow pecking on me is the least of my concerns

Freddy Krueger:
If you’re calling me little, then I guess that you’re the midget
I’ll go deep inside your mind to make a brainless bitch forfeit
You lack the Ichobod so I will enforce your tomb
But to get to the Flash-Point; I’ll be the one to bring your Doom


Johnathan Crane:
Please, take a seat Frederick, tell me how would your wife feel
Scarecrow:
About the shit movies you’re in and kids virginity; you steal!

Freddy Krueger:
Says the bitch whose only film role was tossed off to the side
Trying to gas the Dream Master? I guess you're the one who is high!

Scarecrow:
Jeff the Killer spits iller, If not for him, you’d serve no purpose
Take your outdated effects and put them back into the circus

Freddy Krueger:
Call out my outdated effects? That’s pretty fucking ironic
Since your disappointing CGI’s the only thing that’s Comic

Scarecrow:
The flame burns on the opponent; couldn’t strike you as a match
So put your claw to good use and slash yourself out of this rap

Freddy Krueger:
You're unwanted in The Suicide Squad and The Dark Knight Trilogy
So, go back to the fucking Wizard of Oz, little piggy

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP (BITCH)

Writers: Vlad, Eric, Kamren, DCA, and Fightmarker
Beat Producer: Tristan
Mixer / Effects: Vlad
Cover Art Made by Brodecai

Freddy Krueger vs Scarecrow. Sinister Rap Battles

Hopefully this'll be better than our last one ;)
Raichous as Sam
Michael Stark/Media as Max
Dani Frias as Duckman
Light as Cornfed
Beat produced by: 2Deep
Thumbnail by: Cole
Mixed by: Jacob
Writers: Trakked, Jason Carreon, ColeDaCole

Battle:
Sam and Max: (Sam in regular type, Max in CAPS)
Say, Max, YEAH SAM? Seems we got another case
The commissioner wants us to put two wackjobs in their place
Face it, YOU'RE POLAR OPPOSITES! Uhhh.. That’s hypocritical
WELL, QUIT IT LET'S SPIT A DISS AND SUBDUE THESE OBSCURE CRIMINALS
Don’t forget that they’re cynical, with all their religious views
Fourth wall breaking too? NO ONE GIVES A DUCK ABOUT YOUR NEWS
AND FOR THE PIG? He's real close minded and feeble
I mean, why exactly did people enjoy BoJack Horseman: The Prequel?
It’s time to analyze this failure; He’s not unique nor is he loved,
Nor has he ever had popularity, what I’m saying is, YOU'RE DUMB!
COULDN'T HAVE MESSED WITH US IF YOU TRIED; Seems Private Dick’s a fitting name
How come you claim to be comical WHEN YOU RODE THE META TRAIN?

Duckman and Cornfed (Duckman in regular type, Cornfed in CAPS)
The Geek would be a better opponent, but instead we get this?
If it weren’t for your Poker games, people would’ve forgotten you exist 
YOU'RE SHAMELESS BUT NAMELESS, SO LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN TRACE THIS 
MADE STAINLESS, NO BASIS, SINCE YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO FAME LEFT
Lazy writing? You can bite me, stick to Runnin’ in the 90’s
Our audience is more enticing than whatever fans you're buying
You're sellouts with no substance! WE ALSO HAD A GAME, DUCKMAN 
IT WAS A LITTLE CHOPPY TOO, Can you stop with the referencing, dumb ass?! 
I mean, yeah that's true Corny, it's just better than CGI garbage
WHY'D YOU YELL AT ME LIKE THAT? Ay, in law enforcement you're harmless
Honestly, you’re both novelties, THEY PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE CROSSING ME
I'LL BEAT EM SENSELESS SINCE THEY'RE JUST A TELLTALE SIGN OF MONOTONY

Sam and Max: 
We may be Freelance Police, but we sure know you’re paying the price
Heck, even a Friend for Life stuck around more than Duck’s wife
WE'VE EVEN SURVIVED IN SPACE! You're stuck in the confines of cubicles
But based on what I've seen this depressed father's quite fugital
You’re a boring, abhorring mess, always going on long rants,
PERVIN' ON EVERY GIRL? i SUGGEST YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!
So, Duckman, you’ve ruined many lives, yet you spat even more badly
NOW WE'RE LEFT WAITING FOR A GOOD VERSE, like your fans for a good finale!

Duckman and Cornfed: 
TRYING TO APPEAL TO EVERYBODY, BUT YOU WERE DUMB RIGHT OFF THE BAT
STEALING OFF OTHER SHOWS? The hell are you starin’ at?
I'LL BE ROASTING ECSTATIC RABBITS, BUT IF YOU THINK OUR WRITING'S TOUGH
You’ll never be in the copy-right, Trix Rabbit and McGruff
YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE NOSTALGIC, but no matter how many games you’re in,
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE PSYCHOTIC BEASTS ;a Looney Toon in the Looney Bin
THIS RANDOM ATROCITY IN TOONS SHOULD KNOW ITS HUMOR DOESN'T ENTICE
But with your fall in quality, I suggest you “Hit The Road” twice

Sam and Max vs Duckman and Cornfed - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #7

Thumbnail by: Lumi

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20Bankroll.mp3
Beat Produced by: 2Deep
Originally Written by: Jason Carreon and Rabi
Chiseled and Rewritten by: Jason Carreon 
Mixed by: JordanShowish
Flowtest:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jDYdmFxjdJhom9EixwRalbsFpbxW6g0C/view?usp=sharing
Flowest by: JordanShowish

Cast:
Rick: Raichous
Duckman: Dani Frias

Lyrics:
(0:12) Rick:
*Burp* A Duck losin’ to a God? Detect a "No shit Sherlock”
Eating the brain of this dumb fuck, best call up your squawky flock
A bitchy aunt, a stoner fatass, and a two headed freak
Rug-shat on your show, shit saw a fate like a Meeseek
You're not "unique", you ripped off The Simpson's preach
Boring as shit, so I crashed in, and splatted a new theme
I wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, but that's pretty political
Here's a new task bitch, write a speech on it that's original

Duckman:
What the hell you rapping at? Me or my damn writers?
But I can't do the same to you, you freestyle your shammed minor;
Lessons, all drunk too, I was ahead of my timeframe
While your, crying crew, wouldn't touch that with a 9'8
Swim's primate, yet, you still think you're in your prime, ey?
Well I didn't need a cameo from you in order to climb fame
"Bill Nye The Sketchy Guy", I suppose that something's tragic
When your show wen't and invented "How To Fuck Your Dragon"

Rick:
Special Batman's slacking off, you're Peter Griffin the no-name
But even then his gags and jokes are better than your quote claims
So make like a real detective and go solve your shit performance
'Cus you Adult Swam in your gene pool to create some deformed kids

Duckman:
I only gave birth to your genre, and the result is much worse
Shock humour is a norm, and there's nothing to converse
Ask for more intelligent writing! Stop being treated like idiots!
But what really doesn't help is coming to McDonalds having pissy fits

Rick:
Why the fuck listen to him?! His whole franchise was shit steep
We’re staring at a fucking duck with an ego bigger than his teeth

Duckman:
Well, you sure as hell don't outclass me, with complexes offensive
But pray to me, since you're the most religious character I've stepped in

Eric Duckman vs Rick Sanchez

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgic is an Epic Rap Battles of History style rap battle series with the focus of using nostalgic fictional characters.

Series run by Matt Raichous

Battles I'm In

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia