I kinda wanan die. Play this at my services

Lyrics

wishing on stars every night
cosmic the light from your eyes
it hurts so much when we say goodbye
But i know were better with time

and if i could hold you tonight
I know that id be alright
And Id know that im still alive

Id know that i

And if i
Could hold you tonight
Id be alright
id know im alive

and if i
Could hold you tonight
Id be alright 
know im alive

you’re best alone for the week
Cos i know you’re fed up with me
You say “its fine watchyu mean”
But i think your lying to me

And if i 
Could hold you tonight
id be alright
id know im still alive

Oh if i
Hold you tonight
Id be alright
id know im alive

alive (theoptimist)

im losing count what number single but its on the @fleshgolem album nonetheless

lyrics

my life is a ticking time bomb
u play the right song
and all of the wires will spark

life’s short then why it feel long?
i’m tryna right wrongs
while surrounded in dark

love myself
i’ve been tryna get to that place
no words said
i would never come out of that place
i don’t know what to say anymore
a thousand notes on my phone that’s jus stored

i wanna get to sleep on time
i been heavyheaded got a lotta stress on my mind
medicating just sleep at all
plenty ppl fall
but i can’t just lose what i used to die for

i don’t check the safety
just vibin lately
the pressure tryna take me
won’t let it change me 
suffer more suffer less, it’s all the same 
had no choice still a voice yelling change

she said can u lov me for the moment
but it don’t mean as much so y’s it so important 
u see thru my lens shit distorted 
why u want me to against the grain again and again
its jus pain, its jus pain, uh its jus pain its jus pain
￼

against the grain

against the grain (flesh x ertu)

s/o my brother https://soundcloud.com/breckenford

lyrics

i never been smart
dont worry bout me bae u got a good heart
i kno i will love u till my times gone
n no we dont got time to think about the time lost

buckle up ur my overdrive
i feel myself spiral to a downward dive
n if u leave me in the end i can say that i tried
ill take the long way home
got shit to think ab
i had to teach myself to "not fall when u looking down"
spent a long time looking for myself
something different that i found
n i dont like it

im seeing violence when i close my eyelids
n we may struggle towards the end but death is silent
n she love asking why im drinking like a pirate
but when its all broken down
its just a science

(ford)
give me guidence
everyday im breaking down in the quiet
will it ever go away im steady crying
when u lie u overtaking got me dying
so indecisive
said im priceless then u say im violent
girl im trying
i dont gotta hide it
perfect timing
still wont stop the whining
so im reliant on the pain thru all the shining
but it make sense
all the times u broke me down n made me reset
made me realize all the cries were never silent
everything u ever said was only pretend
for no reason
i did my best to make sure u knew that i felt
every feeling in the world when i fell down
ill move away
go to town
find a new crowd
youd see what love was all about if u stick around
i know the truth now
it was over from the start
u a rebound
u could never reach my heart
such a let down
why is life so gd hard is this even allowed
is this even allowed

buckle up ur my overdrive
i feel myself spiral to a downward dive
n if u leave me in the end i can say that i tried
ill take the long way home
got shit to think ab
i had to teach myself to "not fall when u looking down"
spent a long time looking for myself
something different that i found
n i dont like it

death is silent w/ brecken (jacob vallen)

im a fuckin misfit
tied myself to this bitch
knot around both my wrists
all my friend r toxic

ur ashes i can't find em
am livin in denial 
lifes comically vile 
been cryin for a while

stare at my body as i bleed
what did u even find in me 
a bucnh of dreams ill never reach
a lot of ideas ill never be 

stare at my yeah (4x)

im fucked up and shits not over
i want to but i can't get sober 
ur death made my whole body colder
everynight i dream about when i used to hold ya(2x)

love life but death seems charming
can't stop myself from falling 
eyes glued to the back of my eyelids
when i die fill my coffin with violets 

im a fuckin misfit
tied myself to this bitch
knot around both my wrists
all my friend r toxic

ur ashes i can't find em
am livin in denial 
lifes comically vile 
been cryin for a while

misfit (santana)

Beast Of Bailey Downs Freestyle

Beast of Bailey Downs Freestyle (Prod Neverforever)

dedicated to my grandmother

Lyrics: 

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna explain what it means

when my cavities won’t open right
while i lay in bed just barely graspin at life 
i want you to make the decision 
cause i don’t think that i couldn’t lie

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna explain what it means

[ do not fear death
death always at our side
when we show fear 
it jumps at us faster than light
but when we do not show fear
it casts its eye on us gently ]

i don’t feel right
but i’m alright
i don’t wanna make you worry when i know you can’t say a thing 
just keep me company
hold me while i breathe
at least while i still can
cause i know that even when you don’t say it i know that you love me
and i know that i won’t be there for you but i promise that i’m always
right next to you

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna tell you that it’s only weeks

coughin (raspo)

prod. secre swallowtail x heyrick
feat. casperrr & shizukesa.
art. my friends cat LOL

lyrics:

(please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound, of my voice calling out, so that i can be found)

and i can feel my heart sink in the rain now
so cold thinkin that i might breakdown
feelin lost, feelin lonley, and nobody’s around
and in this storm the waters rising and i think i might drown
please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound
of my voice calling out, so that i can be found

please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound
of my voice calling out, so that i can be found
but no matter how many times i might scream
it doesn’t mean ur any closer to finding me
so now ur looking for a ghost
just give up you’ll never be close

(please just tell me now, u r looking for a ghost)

(caspy)

nana~
can you help me now
pick me up from the ground
i hate loving in doubt
cuz that's when shit goes south

used to look for some1 like u
now i don't have a clue 
of what the fuck i should
to try and forget u

(shizu)

thoughts fadin like the blood on my palm
she saying shit the same well bitch im already gone
guess all the friends change
cuz they dk what im on
suicidal lil prick im jus a dick of a cunt
just a pussy n**** i quit talkin
steady smoking until hittin coughin
ion need help 2 know im the problem
bullet to the dome woulda solved em
only fuck around inside of FL but by next album im offing me
and honestly, been so sick of the calling me
like fuck out of my head

my heart sinks in the rain w/ casperrr & shizukesa. (secre swallowtail x hey rick)

lyrics ⬇️ 

there’s an institution that I been building in my 
Head 
i don’t pay no tuition instead I lay up in my bed
i put my thoughts in submission 
so that I could maybe get rest
life so explicit I hope that I could get the best

time slowed down
and then I look up at the messs
I know now that I was awful like the rest
shouldnt go out I gotta awful lotta doubt
i don’t know crowds but ima look around the town
Oh

yea I don’t know what else to say tho
done it to urself watch the pain grow

ten rows down from the person that could that say so
tough luck now look like you walk on a tight rope
more excuses everyday but who likes that
If I had time to go to waste
then maybe you would be back
Instead I chill at the lake sunny day I relax

and I got away from issues that you stab in my back 

No I can’t back track but I wanna move forward
and I don’t know what happened 
Or what happened before
you would always attack me I would fall on the floor

and this life is ever lasting so I wanan restore
 
all my horrible tendencies go away in the Forrest 
as the leaves fall and the branches crack I’m no longer sore
i watch the rainfall as it pours and I wanan explore
walk through all the fog but ima hide for the storm

are you even really sure that you wanna ignore
every night since the end of us it been a war
problems out the door ever since you cut the cord no no

institution (cxrter x tahtx)

lyrics ⬇️ 

every thing you told me was a lie
you can’t even look me in my eyes no more
once everything I wanted but now I been floor
i been dying from the torch 
i been flying thru the door

miss what we had
everything was perfect 
every night we would laugh
I don’t wanna burn it
cuz I’m honestly attached
god gave me a purpose
and you stabbed me in the back
why’d you do that

brand new mission oh I can't wait to get loaded in
ten more minutes til I'm out there counting dividends
yea
watch me mix it in tell me that there's more to this
before I forfeit, I don't need no more of this
I went to Florida with my family then I told them that
I don't feel much more like family when you give me crap
let me sit up by myself when I'm feeling sad
promise that ill come back i don't mean to make you mad

but never once did you ask me if I’m fine
i been smokin blunts so that I could ease My mind
every night it’s the same
I cant ever go to sleep
all the time try to change
but I never wanna leave

(casperrr)
going dummy at the function  
just so i can fuck shit
nah i can't fuckin function 
with the way u changed so quick
really thought you loved me
but i guess i was mistaken 
they way u kept pushing me back
hiding mthe fact u were taken

used to look up at people
and now most are at my level
all i have left is a house 
that's filled with air and our shadows
you left a hole inside my heart
turned from special to mental
like chaging howl for hollow 
i know it was not accidental

at this point i don't know what family is?
people stop caring about u when u stop being a kid 
i've been alone ever since i was 14 
left to deal with a bunch a shit, i don't know what i did
idk how i made it out
idk what it is
maybe i had more to do
maybe i was born for this
i just hope so cuz otherwise imma quit
life in general cause without music life is boring as shit

forfeit w/ casperrr (tiedforsilver)

produced by ushanka boy
featuring NAVYXOWER (@navyxower)
mixed by navy & epitome
mastered by teddyboi (@yoimn3ver)

lyrics

well…
i don’t know why but it feels like
i’ve been here forever 
been seeing star signs layered through the sky
that lead me back to december

those cold lonely nights
drove me to insanity 
i didn’t put up a fight
for you and that drives me crazy 

what the hell was every supposed to do
i didn’t have a clue
this shit left us confused
but that’s okay we’ll work it out
there’s no need to cry now
wipe your tears, i love the sound
of your voice there’s nothing that

could replace you
you’ve always been the one i choose
there’s nothing left for me to lose
so you have to know these feelings are true

NAVY

baby i could do it better yeah i swear to beup at night i see you walking past my house theres plentyplenty times where i need you in my bed with mewhy is life never really even fair to mebring me back to another timeanother era another life  where i can say i feel alirghttime goes by really fast in the nightand when your with the ones you love the most, time just really flysfly carefullyi pray to god ill see you eventaullyi miss everything you said to mei hate goodbyes theyre not meant for me



well, i don’t know why but it feels like
i’ve been here forever 
been seeing star signs layered through the sky
that lead me back to december

i have someone now w/ NAVYXOWER (ushanka boy)

Lyrics:

There she stands at my front door
A stranger from my past, I can't ignore
Eyes filled with memories, a story in her gaze
But I've never met her, it's just a phase (it's just a phase)

She knows my name, she knows my past
But how can this be, it's going too fast
She speaks of love, a connection that's strong
But I don't know her, where did I go wrong? (where did I go?)

She's a stranger from the past, knocking on my door
But I never met her, I've never seen her before
Her presence lingers, a mystery that lasts
This girl in my house, a stranger from the past

She's a stranger from the past, knocking on my door
But I never met her, I've never seen her before
Her presence lingers, a mystery that lasts
This girl in my house, a stranger from the past

Stranger From The Past

rock bottom

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death is silent w/ brecken (jacob vallen)

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