spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0IHbekaueGek7nFPKpZpbD?si=89260079818e4242
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/desideratum

produced by 8een & arcane
additional production by me
mixed written performed by me
+ thank you eve for mixing advice

frick north york
thank you for listening, i hope you enjoy <3

///
the more that I try, more that I hide
the more that I try, more that I hide

the past few months I felt like I would die
before I did anything that I loved, oh my
I'll stay strong
eighteen round the corner, how'd I (make it!)
this long
all the pressure makes my head hurt
give it time and it'll get better
and if you hate it well then, know I put in effort :/
I do my best, how dare you say that I don't
still get nervous when there's lumps in my throat

I'm aware no one said it'd be easy
spoke to the teller now everything's clear, see
it all
pretty girl
girl

and if I don't wake up
tell every single person I love
that I put all my heart in
I will be an artist
there'll be people that care and I'll build something honest

go!
don't hide
do you even know who you are?
go!
how'd you even call that shit art? (desideratum)
go back pull your hair out, restart

I can't focus well my darling
got a stutter when I'm talking
you broke the news as I was walking
news when I was promised

desideratum

produced by @f3arme & @176s
featuring @1spoder & @hovis  😎
cover art by @c4reful
*out on all platforms* https://fanlink.tv/9ae7

(azkii)
on my own no help i dont need it
i cant hide my scars yeah im still bleeding
i cannot hear you its all wrong can you repeat it
forcefed me lies now its all fake i cant believe it

and you told me it was true
this aint the same me ive been really someone new
fendi sweater yasuhiro on my shoes
is it really that hard to make a move?

is it really that much pain?
is it gonna leave you scarred?
is it gonna ruin your day?
is it really that much pain?
is it gonna leave you scarred?
is it gonna ruin your day?

on my own no help i dont need it
i cant hide my scars yeah im still bleeding
i cannot hear you its all wrong can you repeat it
forcefed me lies now its all fake i cant believe it

(spoder)
why they talk w/o a reason
if you love me then you better fucking mean it
gotta get it for my brothers so they eatin
send a text, i delete it
tryna find a meaning
sit down
its kinda funny when i'm up they come around
check the bank so there's no way i could frown
im with olly and we countin big amounts
can't hear them critters they ain't making any sound

(hovis)
i just took my shot and now my back is to the rim
killing shit they prolly need my highlights on a film
lately ive been feeling full lil bitch theres not even a pit
i keep balling so damn hard i break the rim
you try to call my phone up on holiday i’ll text u man
benihanas in that good mood i cannot trip
and im always on my damn own don’t take no trips nah

(azkii)
on my own no help i dont need it
i cant hide my scars yeah im still bleeding
i cannot hear you its all wrong can you repeat it
forcefed me lies now its all fake i cant believe it

spotify

on my own ft. spoder & hovis (prod. feardorian & sense)

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4I9bp9alDC4m9MT4GNLtOY?si=b589387c7a0a444c
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/able

produced by jonah bru
mixed written performed by me
cover art by yinon

valentines day song
hope you enjoy, more stuff soon :)
thank you for listening as always

///
show me how
show me how you love
tell me how
tell me how you feel
stop it love I'm exhausted
don't give it up, I thought you were someone that I-

don't tell me the time that I spent was no use
will I be more than (be more than)
problems to you?
oh I'll carry all my baggage to show you I'm able
you stutter your speech cause it's true

tread fine lines
when I'm with you it feels like there's no wrong or right
sworn by you, we'd grow older
my feelings attached
now I sit like a loner
oooh
I'll make sure that I'll
dooo
everything that you want me to
dumb ear had me in loop
what's there for me to do
don't give it up, I thought you were someone that I loved

don't tell me the time that I spent was no use
will I be more than (be more than)
problems to you?
oh I'll carry all my baggage to show you I'm able
you stutter your speech cause it's true

able

welcome

stream: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/redhorse1/heavyweights-feat-spoder--cambi0

written by us 3, 
produced by me, 
mixed by me n spo

words:
heavy weights
messy days
there's no place to let this go
walls get closer, trapped at home 
crowded streets
now it's me
to find my own way out
to like my own self now

i see the trees all going by
the things i'd do to grow as much
i think to myself: "why can't i try?"
could i relieve my burden, grow w u
long for your hand, my humble abode
to leave with u than live alone

@1spoder
i walked into a corner store
the boy he worked, and worked some more
i had a twenty in my pocket
gave it cause his legs were sore
said, "do you want this for your life?"
he told me, "i'm just passing time."
i took the gum and walked right out
i knew he knew my hands were tied
he faked every moment
he loved you, i know
in the heat of the moment
those heavy weights crushed down on him
 
"i loved you, i'm sorry,
i hated my body,
i'll fix my whole life... yet i'm treated like a zombie."

these heavy weights, they're killing me
wash me away, wash me away
x2

@1cambio
jump before i look
i hesitate to fall
i keep on going faster 
as everyone else stalls
everybody’s crying
but i know we’ll be alright 
if everything was worth it
why second-guess your might 

skin the moment bare
i'll put it in a locket 
to hold when i'm not there
wish that i could stop it
feeling is a burden 
i sense it every time
they speak, but i done heard it
i'll end it with a line

i'll end it with a line

heavyweights

click on me mf

heavyweights, +spoder, norden rapta

Spoder - Acidulcoré

Save A Whisper, Or Let It Bleed

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by plantcham
outro by aftrr
additional production by me

I packed all my bags and left my home town
And when I come I want to be something
Make my dad proud
Oh isn’t it obvious love?
That I miss you so dearly
Can you hear me?
Oh I’ll make it easy

Pulled your knife but I’m already dead
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Wore up your shoes kicking dirt in my face
It’s how it’s supposed to be love
God strike me down from above
Just tell me what you really want
What you really want

At a rest stop in a car with some people I don’t know
Maybe if we didn’t live far then our eyes would both be glowing gold
Dream girl don’t love me no more (don’t throw it away)
Threw my morals out like a whore (you threw it away)
You don’t gotta save me darling
I spent the last month getting high
Wishing I wasn’t alive and steady crying
I told myself don’t die yet
That’d be so violent

I’ve been up all night for you
Ruin my mind for you
Giving all this time for you
Peeling back my eyes for you
Oh baby can’t you see? (that my head is on the floor, bae head is on the floor)
Oh baby can’t you see? (do you love me anymore bae, love me anymore?)
Love me anymore

Pulled your knife but I’m already dead
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be? (go!)
Is heaven somewhere that I’ll be?

home

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by micheal harrison
additional production by me, nerc

There's no need to cry
There's no need to worry
I'm right here my love
Tell me you can hear me
When I call your name out
There's something that fears me

There's something that fears you
What are you afraid of?
So what if I get near you?
So what if I know your in and outs?
So what if I know you deep down?
So what if I know your true self?      
Bae I'm never here to hurt you

My pretty girl

I wrote your name on the paper until I fell asleep
I pray to god that you're healing and find some inner peace
I tried to end it couldn't tell you what's got into me
Reach both my hands out and saw something that I'd never seen
We were so damn young
So damn young
So damn-
And it's not your fault
It's not your fault

My pretty girl
You’re such an angel my love
I miss you I miss you so so damn much
I miss you oh I-

my pretty girl

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by plantcham

Had the world in the palm of my hands
Oh pretty girl, why'd you do me like that?
The teller asked me if I've died yet
Told him give me couple minutes let me digest
Do you feel the high yet?
I like bleeding cause I don't think bout the time spent

Tell me, do you feel the high yet?
I like bleeding cause I don't think bout the time spent
I was clean for like a month but guess I digress
Tell me baby, do you feel the high yet?
Don't let go
I just need to get my mind right
Do as I'm told
I'll stay clear, outta your sight

Don't hurt me
I'm sorry
I hate my body
Do you smile at the thought of me?
Severed nerves and my bones grown weak

Oh 
Oh 
Have you thought about me lately?
Oh 
Oh 
Tell me, have I gone crazy?

Had the world in the palm of my hands
Oh pretty girl, why'd you do me like that?
The teller asked me if I've died yet
Tap her shoulder ask her do you feel the high yet

do you feel the high yet?

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by plantcham

They tell me that I’m dumb
Shit, I agree with them
Yea, I was out tryna find solace
Picked up the j and couldn’t put it down
Couldn’t tell you who I am now
Left home to make my dad proud but I done lost my whole mind wow
I still, I still love you dearly
I don’t, I don’t want no one near me
And don’t dare offer me a cig yea that shit fucking disgusting

I’ll be gone
So so damn far
I was wrong
To lend you my heart
Are you better than?
You are heaven sent
5150
Now I’m hell bent
And I did it once
I’ll do it again
Get me out the city
Need a soul cleanse

Told the teller I’ve been so exhausted
He laughed and told me “go and shut your noggin”
I give more than I take like way too often
I built and lay down in my own coffin
Miss the days where I would watch the train go by
Don’t care if it’s fake, want to be yours tonight
Tell me what you want or where your heart resides
Tell me what you-
Tell me what it feels like
Tell me what it-

We’re young baby have pride in it
Spent the last five months thinking I’d die before I turn nineteen baby
Turn around, put your fists up
Wish I didn’t fucking miss ya
Turn around, put your fists up
I’ll be there cause I need ya
Tell another lie
Maybe in another life
Don’t think twice
I’ll show you I’m able this time

Told the teller I’ve been so exhausted
He laughed and told me “go and shut your noggin”
I give more than I take like way too often
I built and lay down in my own coffin
Miss the days where I would watch the train go by
Don’t care if it’s fake, want to be yours tonight
Tell me what you want or where your heart resides
Tell me what you-
Tell me what it feels like
Tell me what it-

5150

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by neverforever
additional production by me

They say, “give it time”
Suppose it’s only right
I wore a smile until the days had turn to night
I watched my knees give out as soon as I saw the text
I laid my conscience down to rest
I watched my options fade to grey
Till there was nothing left
I don’t wanna feel this way
I don’t wanna deal with it no more
The things I love about you
Are things I wish I could change

Are things I wish I could change
Are things I wish I could change
Wish I could change
You tore a hole in my brain
Pick up a piece of my remains
And leave the rest up to fate (are things I wish I could change)
Cause babe I feel like a slave
And I can’t deal with the pain
Don’t tell me it was all in vein
Oh these are things I wish I could change

change

all songs written, mixed, mastered, & performed by me
produced by kire

Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me this shit is not real
Tell me it’s all a damn lie
I won’t give up this time
I won’t give up this-

Spent a month baby fuck- a lifetime
How do I say this so it come out right
Felt god let my hand out
Let it freeze up cause it felt nice
Pray I’ll see you again
Pray to god the phone rings and we’ll make amends
Pray to god my life don’t end
Pray to god won’t bloody up my arms and cry my eyes out again
Pray to god you’ll be fine if I’m on tomorrow’s paper
Love I hate to be a hater
But my eyes have grown so vacant
Know you love it when I say it
Like some shit about my music
Wrote my songs about you, won’t you take a listen?

Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me sweet lies baby
Tell me this shit is not real
Tell me it’s all a damn lie
I won’t give up this time
I won’t give up this-

forswear

she didnt stay with me. but the dream was so real.
i like spoders music, so i made a cover tho i change some lyrics to fit me more.

Pages (cover/remix of @1spoder)

produced by nvrmindreid
everything else by me
love ya

lyrics:

i've barely broke in my boots
the ones i got when you were aloof
have you took a look at the news?
i've hardly kept it together
hide both my arms in my sweater
i told my brothers i wan do something new
but i just end up doing shit like before
i broke my hands off just to build a new roof
and for a moment i thought i saw shore

i place my cards down face up
scour my room for a quick buck
spend all that dollars that i had
on something that gon make me feel sum
say you're bothered by the past
so won't you go ahead and do something
say you're bothered by the past
so won't you go ahead and do some-
i wrap my arms round my waist
how many days will it take
i look at you in the face
and tell a lie what a waste
i feel the weight of my body
i'm too ashamed to look up
exhale the smoke in my lungs
and forget where i came from

have you took a look at the news baby
you're even prettier now baby
spinning in my head all around baby
and i can't seem to get you out baby

i've barely broke in my boots
the ones i got when you were aloof
have you took a look at the news?
i've hardly kept it together
hide both my arms in my sweater
i told my brothers i wan do something new
but i just end up doing shit like before
i broke my hands off just to build a new roof
and for a moment i thought i saw shore

breaking in

"dear diary" dec 18th
info.azkii@gmail.com

Vale
Space Fløwer🌼
🌼ɹǝʍølℲ ǝɔɐdS

New tracks tagged #Spoder