lyrics~

I've been in my head
Wishing I was fucking dead
How many ways can this be said?
I won’t regret the shit I’ve bled
Or all the secrets I have kept
I know imma fucking mess
And I will be until my final breath 

How in the fuck do I cope?
Inhaling more smoke as I choke
I love blood, imma cut throat 
All of the pain that I hold
Does anyone care to know?
Or will I remain alone?
I’m trying to find a home
But I don’t know where to go

Every day I stay alive
Makes me feel more hurt inside
They all left, I wonder why
But know, I am a waste of time
Is something wrong with my mind?
Pausing the present to press rewind
Who I am, I’m trying to find
Am I too dumb to realize?

In the end, I'm all I got
Don't have no friends, cuz I’m nothing to want
I dont think they’ll miss me when I’m gone
But I know, I will forever evolve
I cried for help and everyone watched
Maybe that’s why I seem mentally off
They say don’t fall on your way to the top
I said “shut the fuck up, don’t worry, I’m not”

I've been in my head
Wishing I was fucking dead
How many ways can this be said?
I won’t regret the shit I’ve bled
Or all the secrets I have kept
I know imma fucking mess
And I will be until my final breath 

What is real and what is fake?
I’m just getting started so I can’t cave 
I’m going for great, so no, I won’t break
I’ll give it my all, my soul you can take
I’m fucked up in my damn brain
I don’t think that I can be saved

Musics my only note, I can’t be burning
It’s where I go, when something hurts me
I can’t stay clean, cuz I’m always done dirty
Why don’t they think, my existence is worthy?
Cant fucking cry, I don’t show or need mercy
Seems all I try, isn’t fucking working
Each day I live, I’ll continue this journey 
Increasing my sin, till I’m in my grave turning

Dweller (prod. EGGACION)

prod. sorrow bringer & 80root

Lyrics~
Overflowing I want to feel the 
Emotions in me cuz they feel numb
Oceans of demons from my spilled blood
Motions make it feel like they still cut 

I’ve been going through changes
I know I can’t cave in
My hearts used to breaking
Only I can save me

Can you see through all my scars
They cut deeper than the marks
I know imma make it far 
I’ll show the world my Fucking heart 

Alone, I bled for so long 
I know it’s all my fault
My pain continued to go on
Love is why I held on

I thought i deserved it all
That ledge, I almost jumped off
Iced rain numbed my bad thoughts n
Burnt blades paused what wouldn’t stop
Cuz
I only felt alive when I’d want to die
Screamed to the sky and wondered why
Everything tried can’t get me by
I just want to live my fucking life

Can you see through all my scars
They cut deeper than the marks
I know imma make it far 
I’ll show the world my Fucking heart
X2

Overflowing I want to feel the 
Emotions in me cuz they feel numb
Oceans of demons from my spilled blood
Motions make it feel like they still cut 

I’ve been going through changes
I know I can’t cave in
My hearts used to breaking
Only I can save me

changes

Produced by NIGHT DRESS

This song reflects my deep struggle with vulnerability, creative pressure, and the fear of letting others see my pain. It also captures the complexity of balancing gratitude for my blessings with the lingering weight of unresolved emotions. From a faith-based perspective, this song could be reframed to focus on how God is helping me navigate these emotions and redefine my identity, not as someone who hides pain but as someone who finds strength and healing in Him.

The Fear of Vulnerability:

“I know that you want me to talk but that’s not who I am.”

This line reflects a struggle to be open with others about my pain. The Bible reminds us that vulnerability can be a strength, especially when shared with God or trusted individuals.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

Creative Doubt and Identity:

“I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross.”

This lyric speaks to the weight of self-doubt in my creative process. God has given me talents and they can be used for His glory, even when you feel inadequate.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Balancing Gratitude with Pain:

“I’ve been fucking blessed and I don’t wanna seem ungrateful.”

This tension between acknowledging blessings and feeling pain is a common struggle. God understands your emotions and invites you to bring them to Him without fear of judgment.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

The Desire for Release:

“Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can’t say.”

This imagery highlights the importance of release and expression. God offers freedom from emotional bondage and gives us the courage to express ourselves honestly and healthily.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me… to set the oppressed free.” (Luke 4:18)

Lyrics

I used to make a song in 40 minutes, then I'd post
And now it takes me weeks to even finish what I wrote
And then it takes me months to build the courage just to post
I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross

I'm sorry I don't scream as much, it's not because I changed
I'm scared to show the ones I love that I'm still feeling pain
Cause I've been fucking blessed and I don't wanna seem ungrateful
And I built up so much I can't afford to be unstable

But I still have a lot of hate inside I'm scared to show
It was easier before, I was the only one who'd know
And now I have to hide it when I feel it
But the hiding never works because I know that you can feel it

So please, I know that you want me to talk but that's not who I am
You want me to be real? Music's the only way I can
So please don't get offended when I say something offensive
That was not what I intended, I'm just tryna clear my mental

Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can't say
What I need and what I want, hurting you is not what I want
So please don't take it personal, when I open up so surgical
Don't hurt me, I'm showing you something

i know that you want me to talk but that's not who i am.

Produced by fowni x luffysome

This song is another deeply personal reflection, revealing themes of betrayal, regret, loneliness, and a longing for love. It carries an intense emotional weight and expresses the pain of broken relationships, self-inflicted wounds, and a desire for redemption. From a faith-based perspective, this song can serve as a powerful testimony of transformation, showing the contrast between living for oneself and finding hope and healing in God.

Trusting Others vs. Trusting God:

“Putting my trust into someone and thinking they’ll help me but really get stabbed in the back.”

This reflects the pain of misplaced trust in people who I allowed to let me down. The Bible reminds us to place our ultimate trust in God, who never fails.

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.” (Psalm 118:8)

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust others but rather that your foundation should be built on God, who provides security and hope even when others fail.

Self-Destruction and Redemption:

“Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love.”

This line acknowledges the fleeting comfort of substances and the deeper void they leave behind. True peace and love can only be found in a relationship with Christ.

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:18)

Regret and Ownership of the Past:

“I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn’t care, that’s a fact.”

This honest acknowledgment of past selfishness and wrongdoing is a critical step toward healing and growth. The Bible calls this repentance, and it’s the path to God’s forgiveness.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Lyrics

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love
I was broke so I ran up some bands, why the fuck do I still feel alone?
And I'm sorry to all of my friends that I made wanna leave me alone
I just wish I could tell you thank you, helped me more than you ever could know

What I lost I won't ever get back, it's my fault so I'll leave it at that
I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn't care, that's a fact
I ain't care about nobody else, all I cared about then was myself
And I'm honestly still a bit selfish but I'm only like that for my health

I ain't finna go break my back for a bitch that won't ever care about that
I ain't finna go reach my hand out tryna save someone that wouldn't reach back
I ain't finna go waste my time opening up and getting attached
Putting my trust into someone and thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back

Bitch, don't text me, don't wanna chat
Bitch, don't test me, I'll fucking snap
Where my heart should be there is a gap
Cause I gave it to her and she didn't give it back

Okay, she did but that shit turned to ash
So what if she did? Man, that shit wouldn't last
Cause she's all that I need
So I can't let her leave

No, I can't let her go, wish you'd call but I know you won't
I just wish I could let you know when I say "I hate you" just know I don't
I don't even know who I am, am I detmer or garrett or ken?
But I know who I need and they'll never come back again

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

put my trust into someone thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back.

JUST IN CASE

Produced by sockedrock

Lyrics

Can you tell me what you want? So I can give you what you want
Girl, I thought you were the one but I lost you, now I don't know what I want
And I wanna feel love so bad but I lost my heart when you left
When I showed you all my fears, you just looked at me and laughed

"detmer"

7 DAYS LATER YOU'RE GONE AND YOU ALREADY HAD SOMEONE
SO I GUESS YOU WERE PLANNING TO LEAVE ME RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING OF US ALL ALONG
HOW THE FUCK COULD I BE SO STUPID? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME WHILE BLACKOUT DRUNK AND THEN ACT SO CLUELESS?

"garrett"

I WOULD NEVER DO YOU LIKE THAT, HOW COULD YOU MOVE ON SO FAST?
WHY THE FUCK DID I STAY SO LONG WHEN YOU TREATED ME JUST LIKE TRASH?
AND MY HEART STILL GOT THOSE SCARS AND MY HAND STILL GOT THAT SCRATCH
GIRL I WAITED FOR YOU FOR SO LONG JUST SO YOU COULD COME BACK AND LEAVE ME IN THE PAST

ALL THIS PAIN I BE HOLDING, AIN'T NO WONDER I END UP BROKEN
AIN'T NO WONDER I END UP CRYING, AIN'T NO WONDER I FEEL SO HOPELESS
IN MY HEART AIN'T NO LOVE LEFT INSIDE IT, ALL MY ARTERIES FULL OF CORROSION
BUT IT'S COOL CAUSE I'M JUST GONNA HIDE IT, I JUST SPOKE UP, DON'T ASK HOW I WROTE IT

Can you tell me what you want? So I can give you what you want
Girl, I thought you were the one but I lost you, now I don't know what I want
And I wanna feel love so bad but I lost my heart when you left
When I showed you all my fears, you just looked at me and laughed

7 DAYS LATER!

Still Empty (Prod. KILLSTATION)

Production & Vocals By ℒund 
Song Title - Weep
Lyrics
____________
two slit wrists
with a scythe
to fucked up 
had to leave this life
(x2)

its no joke 
to low
i can’t cope
smoke dope
for the pain
1 glock 1 shot
point it straight 
at my brain
do not resuscitate 
told u dont hesitate 
i put a end to 
the voice in my head
nobody ever listen
what i said

i don’t really fuck with the rest 
young kid flex
put the blade to ya neck
1 more step bitch
you loose your head
no one remember 
the shit that u did

bury bodies
stack em 4-wide   
why they bitch busy 
hit my phone line
i been getting money 
off my own time
you should stop biting 
and stick with 
your own rhymes

shorty you looking so thick
baby come grind on this dick
let me take u back to my hotel
lay u down fuck u good 
till that pussy swell

i made myself what i am
i turned myself into the man
i made this dough in my hand
but still you don’t understand
dont understand

it takes
dedication & some discipline 
talent, drugs and experience
but tbh living life I’m sick of it
even if moneys still coming in
even tho people still bump my shit
fuck the world
death sound luxurious    
look in my eyes
if you don’t think I’m serious
thats why…

Weep

Vocals & Production By Lund

Lyrics:

I'm loosing my soul
My demons they grow
They drag me below
but nobody know
No nobody knows

When they take control  
I cannot die 
I don't bleed anymore
Still I feel the pain
inside this hell
I'm burned by the flames
Eternal yells 
cast into the lake
Where there is no love 
Cause love is just pain
So why am i  living g life
Cause life's just the same 

Blkbrd don't need a reason to go fly
Nobody wonders why he gets so high
Nobody ever question where he go
Cause nobody pays attention anymore

Blkbrd gon fall from the sky
Blkbrd gon take his own life 
Blkbrd  he say goodbye
Blkbrd he don't wanna cry 
Blkbrd he don't wanna cry 
no more

ill admit that i am selfish
ill admit that i have lied
but girl how many times can
i fucking apologize
stare into your eyes I’m looking for a vital sign
but all i see is cold baby your hearts turned into ice
conversate with god 
only thing that keep me round
got a little bit of hope left 
though I’m broke down
late at night my demons fight
they yell so fuckin loud
burning blunts and empty bottles
only thing that calm them down

BlkBird

Issues

Lyrics

I might swing fist at all of this
I'm stuck, it's fuck my monument
I'm sick as shit of all of it
I wanna make you feel just how I get

When I'm stuck in the back of my mind
Where no one even looks just to see if it's fine
I feel like a book that ain't got any spine
So when I turn a page, I don't know if it's mine

Love is a drug and I'm fiending
I fucking mean it
Thought she was who I should be with
But that ain't even close to attaining
I don't like this shit, wanna be faded

The fuck is this shit?
I'm not amazing
So fucking pissed
It's fucking amazing
How I could hold all this pain
Until I find the words that can take it away

I'm not a goat, I'm not a legend
I'm nothing special, I'm not eleven
I'm just a ghost, sending a message
This where my head go when I get stressin'

I'm on a road headed to nowhere
Stay out my head, ain't nobody should go there
My body soaked with all the toxic shit
I don't get how anyone could like this

Numbers don't help, I'm stuck in hell
I don't like the shit that I felt
I'm a lost cause, blow my top off
I'm on the edge, think I'ma walk off

I made an album to let go but it ain't work out
I can still feel all the hurt now
I know that I am a mess so no need to point out
All expectations I won't mount

Tell me please, am I really helping?
By talking bout all the pain that I dealt with
I can't see, who I'm affecting
So I appreciate when I get messaged

I'm just a human going through it
I got some thoughts I don't know what to do with
Other than turning it all into music
I don't what I would do if I lose it

This ain't a song, this an attempt
To show myself that I can get a grip if I really try
Because sometimes I feel like
Life ain't worth the time

Thoughts in my mind
That I don't like
I feel like I'm
Running out of time
I can't take another night

changes

Explicit