There’s a chicken wing restaurant near where I live that on Saturdays I often go to 

After cutting the grass and 
Wacking the weeds
Any  trimming any bushes unruly 

After several months if you sit in the same place the waitresses all get to know you 

And I always sit down 
in young Deborah’s section, 
she’s got a crush on yours truly

She really enjoys all the stories I tell and she laughs at my hilarious jokes 

She always makes sure I have plenty of ketchup, she doesn’t do that for the rest of these folks

Men, don’t fall in love with your waitress 
Being nice to you is part of her job 
Sure, she laughs at your jokes but she laughs at the jokes 
Of every Tom, Dick and Harry or Bob

One Saturday I’m sitting in my usual spot, but Debbie didn’t show for her shift 

And I’m thinking My god, 
what on earth could be wrong 
If I had her address then I could save her

And so I lied and told her manager that Debbie had called me and asked if I could give her a lift 

 He gave me her address 
On a cocktail napkin
And I thanked the man for doing me this favor! 

And I imagined when she saw me I would be her handsome hero and she’d plant on me a passionate kiss 

She’d say “leave your stupid, fat cow wife, she doesn’t love you, marry me instead and we’ll have marital bliss” 

Men, don’t fall in love with the waitress 
You’re not her white knight on a giant white galloping steed 
You’re just another guy who got the cheeseburger combo 
And an appetizer he didn’t need

So I drove up to her trailer and knocked softly on her screen 
And this 6 foot four gorilla came to greet me. 
He had perhaps the largest biceps I had ever seen 
And his fists were more than big enough to beat me. 

I said, “ I was sent to check on Debbie, make sure she’s okay 
Debbie then appeared engulfed in sadness 
She said, “wait a second, I know you, you’re there each Saturday. 
Why the hell did they give you my address?   

I said, “listen, I just wanted to make sure you were alright 
We’ve become so close I care about you deeply 
She said, “I just serve you chicken wings, what gives you the right! 
Get the hell off of my porch, you’re fucking creepy!  

So I got back in my car and I drove quickly away, for a moment there I feared for my life 

I knew that I had overstepped 
Her personal boundary 
And I could never sit again in Debbies section 

I thought from now on that after finishing the lawn, I should have a couple beers with my wife. 

We’re old and fat with two grown kids 
But just like Darwin said 
You have to trust in natural selection 

Men, don’t fall in love with your waitress 
On your personal reality try to keep a  very firm grip 
You’ve got a mortgage, a fat wife and four kids who need you 
So pay the check and leave a generous tip

Don't Fall In Love With The Waitress

I write story songs.   Many of the stories are true.

Watch my videos!  YouTube:   https://youtube.com/@turtlefrogman?feature=shared

Topics:   Sexual fetishes, reincarnation, sleep apnea, women who don't shave, the story of January 6th 2021, COVID, drug use, pizza place robbery, weddings, divorces and funerals, cannibalism, the story of Joe Biden, transgenderism and pronouns, erectile dysfunction, the World Economic Forum, the story of the USS Indianapolis, time machines, accidents with laxatives, school yard fights, proctologists, teen moms, scientific studies, genital warts, generational divides, national divorce, peeping toms, abortion, petty theft, DIY screws and mental health, suicide etc.

Fruity Loops user of 14 years
Heavily Video-Game Influenced
I'm a self-taught Composer/Pianist with Autism.
I listen to my music because I get sensory overloads in public
I do not own the art used on my profile besides the 2 logos, drawn by a good guy in the itsBOOFY community! Much love ❤️

Sinfonie di Salvezza: 
La Missione di Suor Attila in un breve riassunto.
(English version below)

Rispondendo alla Chiamata manifestatasi tramite 
un Call Center, colpita da profonda emozione, Suor Attila decise di dedicare la Sua vita alla correzione dei bisognosi, fondando così il Pio Istituto delle Piccole Ancelle Ausiliatrici dell’Apocalisse.

Fermamente convinta che le anime perdute e le menti tormentate possano essere redente attraverso una sinergia di preghiera e legnate sulle gengive, la Salvifica Madre professa il ritorno a più efficaci e risolutivi riti di salvazione, generalmente promossi attraverso ecumeniche ronde di correzionatori.

Ma la vera Opera di Suor Attila si manifesta nella Sua musica. 
Un tripudio di banalità e insensatezze -modellate in un’epifania di straordinaria bruttezza- produce nell'ascoltatore una sensazione di confusione e fastidio che dà vita a un’esperienza di ascolto assolutamente unica. 

Non sorprende, quindi, che la Pia Religiosa abbia ricevuto numerosi riconoscimenti per il Suo contributo unico a un'Arte che sfida ogni forma di decoro.

Si esorta dunque all'ascolto dell’Opera di Suor Attila; un'esperienza che nessuno può permettersi di ignorare. (Ritorsioni in caso di inadempienza)

______________________________________________________________

Symphonies of Salvation:
Sister Attila's Mission in a Brief Summary.

Responding to the Call that manifested through a Heavenly Call Center, deeply moved, Sister Attila decided to dedicate her life to correcting the needy, thus founding the Pious Institute of the Little Handmaidens of the Apocalypse. 

But the true vocation of Sister Attila is revealed in her music. 
A triumph of banality and senselessness—shaped into an epiphany of extraordinary ugliness—produces in the listener a sensation of confusion and annoyance that gives rise to an absolutely unique listening experience.  

Thus, you are urged to carefully listen to Sister Attila's work; an experience that no one can afford to ignore. (Retaliation in case of non-compliance.)

Follow me on Spotify and I will follow back 

https://open.spotify.com/user/saldeano?si=5Ffl-Ik3Rsicg2wEzQ5-tg

Write play and produce, for fun, hope you have time for a listen and enjoy what I’ve put out there 😎
Looking forward to hearing everyone else too

so many talented people across the soundcloud world 
its the creative outlet i enjoy also

"No elevators to Eden".

Composer, lyricist, published poet, sound artist, improviser, recording artist. Since 1998.

Also known as @ajkaufmann.

Please feel free to check out my YouTube channel and Instagram accounts
https://youtube.com/@mugfish76mugfish40?si=RTpuCuetokQsRVjA

https://www.instagram.com/mugfish76?igsh=MTl3MmdjY2ludG1ueQ==

Yan Grooger, artiste belge né en 1987, Créateur de sons électroniques depuis 1998.Signatures en 2015 de plusieurs singles sur des plateformes comme Beatport,Spotify, itunes...Sa discographie comprend des titres tels que Slow Motion, Human et Vis pour la musique, auto-production des albums L.P.E et easter eggs en 2025, On peut retrouver sa musique sur des services de streaming majeurs, ce qui témoigne de son activité en tant qu artiste indépendant. Il a également une chaîne YouTube où il partage ses créations.

Keep creating, this world needs music! 

infos:
grooger.yan@gmail.com

I am overjoyed to partake in sounds beautiful:
https://youtu.be/1TnalFltP_Q?si=VidMVZ9VDKGZiNUm  by Dan and
https://stonerjazz.bandcamp.com/album/up-up-out by Jeff.

Jeff also gifted me a visiting role on his previous album: 
https://stonerjazz.bandcamp.com/album/quintessential

.... and here is my own test account:
https://sonicstructuresandsilentstretches.bandcamp.com/track/eliza

POETRY IS VITAL

This threshold space exists for those who feel like listening to some of my quite professional poetry embedded in rather amateurishly recorded but judiciously arranged sound, a modicum of purely acoustic work notwithstanding.  Fortunately, some other artists have also transformed the symbolic expression of my words into the tangible beauty of real songs and soundscapes - just listen to Sympoetic Ultrasounds: https://soundcloud.com/sonic-textures/sets/sympoetic-ultrasounds !

SOUND, SPACE AND TIME

Tend your listening senses gently. Even though my general approach welcomes and embraces lo-fi concepts like the precision of spontaneously occuring imprecisions, headphones worth their membranes are recommended - unless you like your sounds flat, mangled, battered and helpless. You don't, do you? Be kind to these soundscapes.

STRUCTURING IMPULSE

Due to the nature of "poetry soundscapes", your listening expectations regarding traditionally structured "songs", sonically purified "raw wildlife soundscapes", keyboard-laden "ambient recordings" or voice-centered "readings" might not be met. You will find some of those in my list of /likes/. "Noise" is a recurring structural element like any other. This is what this sounds like - within its own rights, limitations, tangents and interconnections. Sonic structures. Silent stretches. Poetry emerges from the gaps between the ruts, seeps in from the undergrowth, sweeps down.

CARVING, CHISELLING, KNEADING, MORPHING

A quick glance into my toolshed rests on Zoom recorders, Samplitude software and a dizzying array of diverse sonic machinery.

LARGE AND SMALL GIFTS

-----------------------------
Small Gifts

the less to remember, the more to listen
gifts from the ice age reverberate
a simple story, a forest, a coastline
entangled in silence, one starts to relate
---------------------------------------------

In case you have read up to this point, you might be a sonic creator yourself. May I ask you for a helping ear? Above, there is a tiny poem of mine that I do not understand how to translate into sound. If you do - please act on it. It is a matter of common decency, of course, to keep the title (Small Gifts) and to credit the lyrics to me (jo richter). And please do notify me of your version via a soundcloud message. One bewilderingly beautiful version crafted by mono-lux has already gone public, as well as an amazing version by cthonicist.  You'll find both in my playlist Sympoetic Ultrasounds. This is just a small gift, not a challenge - life already has more than enough of those on offer, doesn't it? Treat it this way.

POETRY IS VITAL
sound, space and time
structuring impulse
carving, chiselling, kneading, morphing
large and small gifts
poetry is vital

GENERAL POLICY regarding the use of LIKES, REPOSTS and FOLLOWS:
I like what I like and want to hear again.
I only repost what I've had a hand in creating.
I follow when I see directions or arrivals I like, not when followed (though I might peek in to get an idea of what your sounds are about). I have set myself a limit of accounts I follow not to be all too overwhelmed. Not following does therefore not mean I do not appreciate what you contribute to the enjoyments of soundcloud.
Do not expect other behaviour from me.
(jo richter)

Don't Fall In Love With The Waitress

TurtleFrogMan