Teimunity as Bed Wars
ClarencetheDuck as Doomspire Brickbattle
Beat by Teimunity
Mixed by Jordy 
Art and Graphic Design by carsfrankie

Bed Wars • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

Queued in, now I’m locked in the game
Spotted opposition on the side, but wait
Gotta gather iron, cover up the bed to be safe 
Grab some block, now I’m closing the space to your base!

Uhhh…gotta say, this wasn’t expected
They built a whole tower with some flimsy extensions 
No problem for me, cus all I needs to do is buy an axe
And one swing to your tower and those inside of it are falling flat!

You ain’t messing with my bed, blockhead
If you take one step on my isle, then your dead
That tiny little wall’s nothing to a fireball
My turrets gon’ make you fall, then you're knocked off the ledge!

We built an empire! You’re stuck in a runt!
Cus how are we on the Hive, yet you got more bugs?
Ain’t talking player barriers, but you’ll be swept off your feet too 
You come for the brick battle, your spire will meet doom!

Doomspire Brickbattle • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

TEN HUT! (SIR!) OUR OPPS ARE SPEAKING NONSENSE!
WE MAKE ANYTHING OUR BUSINESS AND STAND ON IT!
THEY WANNA TALK WITH THEIR DERIVING CONTENT?
THEY'RE WHOLE REVOLVES AROUND ONE BED!

BUT YOU’LL NEVER BREAK OUR TOWER DOWN! (YES SIR!)
YOUR PLAYER BASE ARE JUST A COUPLE OF CLOWNS! (YES SIR!)
BECAUSE WETHER IRL OR IN GAME (YES SIR!)
YOU’VE BEEN GETTING CARRIED BY THE BLADE! (YES SIR!)

YOU MUST’VE HAD SPAWN PROTECTION
THIS AIN’T A PILLOW FIGHT, I WILL NOT BE BESTED
WAKE UP, GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME FOR A SECOND
I KNOW YOUR BED WARS, BUT THIS IS NO TIME FOR RESTING!

OUR DAILY TROOPERS ARE ALWAYS ON THE FRONTLINES
YOUR MATES STAY AT THE BASE AND GET SWATTED LIKE HOUSE FLIES
AND WITH A BUILD LIMIT THAT PITIFUL, I COULDNT BELIEVE
SO PUSH OUR BASE IF YOU DARE…AND IF YOU COULD REACH

Bed Wars • Verse 2 (8 Bars)

Daily players? Well, you lost that, bitch 
They pushed away from your game like a knockback fish
Fireballs shaking up your base like a comet
Don’t you remember what happened with towers and flying objects?

I looted up while you having your Soviet speech
And now I have the armoury to go show up your team
What now? Your hanging on by one slice of a piece
It’s obvious that I would be the one to put you asleep 

Doomspire Brickbattle • Verse 2 (8 Bars)

(HAHAHA…) YOU THINK YOU WON AGAINST ME?
ANY MEANS OF ME CONCEEDING ARE FAR IN YOUR DREAMS!
I UP THE GAME IN MY FAVOUR LIKE PAY TO WIN TYCOONS
SO MY TOWER WON’T FALL…UNTIL I DO!

YOU THINK I NEED A PICKAXE TO BREAK THROUGH YOUR DEFENSES? 
YOU BUILT WOOL AROUND A BED? REAP THE CONSEQUENCES!
AND ONE BOMB WILL HAVE US BOTH FALL FLAT
…BUT ONLY ONE OF US HERE HAS A RESPAWN PAD!

Bed Wars vs. Doomspire Brickbattle • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

Langle as Reagan Ridley
BobcatXtreme as Stanford Pines

Written by AshleyMagica & SIR Rap Battles
Additional help by Toony Loony & Erin
Mixed & Arranged by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Tone Jonez
Art by Valonide
Special thanks to JustGamer, Vanes, garbageGothic, Matt Raichous, Hazelmoth, Shion Takeuchi, Alex Hirsch & my sister

Reagan (0:10): 
JR wants me to hide you? Okay, what’s your story? 
Actually, I’m done! Screw this! You’re fucking boring! 
Oh, you think you’re unique ‘cause your hands are all screwed up? 
You have four middle fingers? Woooow. I can’t give two fucks! (laughs)

Attended Backupsmore ‘cause your life took a sad turn
What, you can’t afford a real college, Mr. Stanford? 
But I wonder how you coped in that second-rate school
That’s food for thought, and you must have a metal plateful

Our job’s to keep secrets, so let’s ask Stan what he’s seen 
‘Cause you vanished and got replaced, just like Avril Lavigne 
And then your lab was stripped clean so your bro could sell his useless crap 
When you were trapped, your life’s work amounted to a tourist trap (oh shit!)

You pack a die that could end up leading to endless paradigm shifts 
But not one would lead to Dipper picking you to side with 
Unlike you, he’d never leave his sibling ditched 
The Stan of War’s taking off more than your internship!

Stanford (0:56):
Before you insult my looks, maybe think first 
Just ‘cause you lost one doesn’t mean I’ll let you point fingers 
Then again, no prosthetics could fix your internal damage 
Forget your eyes, you just have emotional baggage 

Your father never thought to give you comfort or love 
So now you’d only land a punch when someone comes for a hug 
Kid, affection’s something you need to be mustering up 
I’d say reflect on yourself, but your mom does that enough 

Who knew a genius scientist made for the dumbest lover? 
You can’t keep a low profile when you’re getting under covers 
Then you cover-up every single man that has been in your bed 
I suppose that’s why they’re calling it Shadow Prison Ex 
 
You went from a brilliant mind at every single task 
To a drunkard killing your time downing a different flask 
I’d craft a tool to get another Reagan back into line 
But you’ve already been strangled by your own family ties

Reagan (1:41):
Bullshit, like you don’t also have an awful dad! 
Seems you forgot your past, or got addicted to Nostalgia Max 
You thought you’d patch the rift, but with your messy emotions 
You keep moving away from Stan: Perpetual Motion 

Nearly fucked the world ‘cause you thought that his tone was hurtful? 
Broke the Zodiac, but you both are still going in circles
And let’s not forget the way you drove your best friend mindless 
Turned a Blind Eye to his pleas when he was left blindsided

Stanford (2:04):
Hold it! Before you stroke your ego, 
Remember that your boyfriend vanished from your life when he went in Cognito 
Picked your job to bring peace, then you had Ron put on leave 
Fumbled in Appleton, ‘cause it doesn’t fall far from the tree 

Your biggest hope in life was to cure society’s ills 
But you teamed up with robed men trying to swipe their free will 
Was it worth all the blood you had spilled? 
When you try to play God with triangles, the whole world foots the Bill


Stanford Pines vs Reagan Ridley. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. BobcatXtreme & Langle)

This is an early audio, you’ll get the video when you get it lol

Langlelee as Sarah
Rosenthal as Mahito 

Written by Teimunity

Art by Teimunity and Creeperpasta 
Graphic Design by ClarencetheDuck

Beat by Teimunity
Mixed by Jordy

Mahito • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

(Ooooh…what’s this?)

Y’knooooow, I never really liked the game of Cat and Mouse
So I beg you don’t make this like your body and drag it out 
Picking fights with MORE spirits? What were you thinking!
No matter, I’ll mash your code in with the flick of my pinky! (Ahahaha!!!!)

What a digital circus! I hope you’ll keep me amused
I beat the dogshit out of Yuji, what’s more animal abuse?
What are friends for, am I right? They found a lake and fucking dropped her
Now she can’t float back to Lily, how’s the view down in the water?

“Ohhh WAHHH!! I got whacked by my friends, now I gotta go enact revenge”
“They didn’t apologize, so they HAVE to die and meet their ends!! (Wah wah hah!!!)
You’re exactly like Nobara, blindly fighting so careless
And that eye for an eye analogy, ha, you NAILED IT!

I’m just poking fun at how your life’s so feeble
I can see your patience running thinner than a needle
But I can help if you want to get in touch
All you have to do is pop in this disc and you can finally CD-eez nuts!

Needl3m0use • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

Enter my world? You’ll wish that you didn’t 
I tell no lies, I’ll give a new meaning to “snitches get stitches”
I know your shticks manipulation, claiming all you’ve said is true 
But you’ll end up just like Luther, a fox caught on a noose

So if you wanna come try to run me a fade, then your done for, fist fly, buddy’s gonna pay, make him run more
You’ll just die if you try to break me with blunt force, the only fights that your ever waging are thumb wars
Wrap it up, bandage man, or get plastered, you’re stuck in my domain now, you bastard
No matter the matter, you’re tattered, I’m leaving you battered, bow down to your master!

(HA HA!) I was beaten and bruised to the point where my body had withered away
(It’s True) But it still isn’t worse than the previous victim you lead to dismay
(Oh no!) He trusted you dearly, but push came to shove, he fell right in your hands
(Well, well) It’s seriously funny, a sheep in wolf’s clothing had slaughtered a lamb!

Bask in the dripping blood as your ripped into pieces
And have your body wither longer than your seasons releases
But if you think that your soul will rest, what I have for you’s special 
You’ll be another puppet in my grasp: a shiny new vessel-AH!

Mahito • Verse 2 (10 Bars)

*Mahito slices off Sarah’s hands and takes the vessels, then mixes them into his own body* YOINK!
Thanks for those, I really gotta HAND it to you! AHAHAHAHA!!!

AH! Such power from the soul of a weak bitch
It’s no surprise the hedgehog was going to eat shit!
But if you were trying to take my mind, it’s gonna take more than some empty threats and flickering lights to even achieve it!

BRING MADNESS TO YOUR PALACE, I AM CALLOUS TO YOUR STATUS
TURN YOUR WORLD TO A BLANK CANVAS, IT’S EXACTLY HOW I PLAN IT
All I need now is two words to go reign and ravage 
You cannot be salvaged; Domain Expansion…

Needl3m0use • Verse 2 (8 Bars)

Hm.

You thought that I’d die? You’re wrong, but you tried
You should’ve let me control your life, but now you will writhe
See, I gave you a chance to survive, but I’m just one you cannot contest
How can I fear humanity when I have none left…?

This is what happens when you play God for an idiot
You get plucked like a rose, and the thorns impale through your stitches
And through your pathetic escape, the air around you starts thinning 
Life starts to gain a meaning when you lose the privilege of living it

Needlem0use vs. Mahito • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

LYRICS

Candle Cove
Look, there’s a cave ahead! I-I-I don’t have the heart to go
Percy, you need to explore! It’s Mr. Bear’s Party Cove
Do-Do I have to? Yes! Go inside
Go inside. Go inside

Mr. Bear
Welcome to the cellar, kids
Today, we’ll be braving a show about pirates and skeletons
I’ll pull up my rocking chair and you can have a seat too
So all of Caledon can see exactly how I beat you

Kids, he’s got a tooth buddy, but he can’t harm me
You should know by now that us grizzly bears got sharp teeth
All ages can enjoy my show, we’re nowhere near Cove
I’m all the way at 21, you’re stuck on Channel Zero!

You show a bunch of rusty puppets - nobody’s digging it
I bring a soup and spoon ready - the kids are diggin’ in
I know you want to stay, but I sadly am declining
‘Cause I don’t see a pirate anywhere on the invite list

Percy
Wh-what happened to my crew? Where’d they venture off?
A-anybody out there? Janice? L-Laughingstock?
L-listen, you did great, but my time’s better not wasted
In the big brown bear’s scary and decrepit basement

I-I get you think you’re better, but it’s a safe bet
That channel surfing doesn’t mean you’re on my wavelength
I mean, with rabbit ear antennas? I-I thought it’s expected
Y-you’d know your frequencies tend to get poor reception

T-the kids turned off Pokemon’s show and w-w-went to yours
Switching Gotta Catch 'Em All with T-T-To Catch A Predator
N-now don’t get angry, I don’t want anyone getting hurt
But uh, ask one of your captive kids to write a better verse

Mr. Bear
That’s very nice, Patty, but I think you need to pack your bags
Mr. Bear’s cellar doesn’t have room in it for scallywags

Percy
Well if I… wait, wait, oh GOD, THAT’S HORRID
You’re not playing hide and seek, YOU’RE JUST HIDING CHILD CORPSES

Mr. Bear
Maybe the mask’s muffling me, so if I’m not clear
Get the fuck out, you don’t belong here

Percy
[                                                                            ]
[                                                                                                ]

Mr. Bear
Shut the fuck UP!

Me? Mad? Oh, it’s just late in the day
I’m still full of joy and ecstasy, make no mistake
Now let’s show Caledon 21 the fun games that we play

Trash must be cleansed and you’ll be who I start with
Story, production, verses, all garbage
You’re dribbling, static, come listen to my voice
I’m music to the ears, and all you are is white noise

This ditch right here will make sure that Satan’s satisfied 
And I’m sure all of your fans would make for the greatest sacrifice
(cut to fire crackling) Feel your plastic skin melt away
Your cove’s in a faraway land, Hell awaits

Skin Taker
Best turn back now, ye’ wayward lost soul
‘Lest Jolly Mr. Rogers be turned to crossbones
All those who met my glass jaw have abandoned hope
This is your final stop, WELCOME TO CANDLE COVE 

Gave lads some orange juice so they wouldn’t be thirsty
HAHAHAHA WHAT? SO THE DEAD KIDS DON’T HAVE SCURVY?
That billowing pit ain't a sighting to behold
You misheard me, I said FIRE IN THE HOLE

I’ll grind ye’ hide very well until you’re made to pedo pelt
Jones will find ye’ severed flesh DEEP DOWN IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL
SO GO INSIDE. GO INSIDE.
GO INSIDE. GO INSIDE.

CREDITS

Shimario as Pirate Percy
GamingPlush64 as Laughingstock
garbageGothic as Janice

Swizkii as Mr. Bear

Rabi as The Skin Taker

Written by Rabi
Additional writing help from GamingPlush64
Beat prod. by Breathtaking Beats
Arranged, Mixed, & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Spotify Art by Hauntedcicadasongs

1999 vs. Candle Cove - Rap Battle

Snakebite126 as Nagito Komaeda
Matthew Picciotto as Desmond

Written by Jofinity & SIR Rap Battles
Additional writing by Dilly Scott & Athena
Mixed & Arranged by SIR Rap Battles
Art by ItsPizzaBox & Cole
Beat by Kiba
Special thanks to Jofinity, Dilly Scott, M!CAH, Rabi & JustGamer

Nagito (0:11):
Geez, I’ve never seen somebody so bereft of hope
Your empty soul’d fill a better role as a stepping stone
(Eurgh) But I could smell your odor the moment you left your home
Forget the gun, your scent alone is pest control

I gotta say, you’re so unkempt and uncouth
That trash like me would fit right in that wreck of a room!
(sighs) Can’t you decide already? Just do it if you’re so eager
I guess it’s fine... your wife isn’t committing either

Desmond (Depressed) (0:35):
Okay… I’m gonna spit some bars now… 
And I’m gonna make you fucking watch.

By the time you misled your friends
And found the traitor you were already dead to them
So you can take the shitty hope you sell and go to hell
A stroke of luck won’t make me happy, I’ll just stroke myself

Because of you, there’s a real awful problem
My wife took the kids when I bought Danganronpa
So yeah... my life’s a living hell and you didn’t help
Though, I almost smiled… when you killed yourself

Nagito (1:05):
We must be on a rollercoaster ‘cause I’m nodding off
You choked so hard that I’m assuming you saw your dog
All you ever do is spread misery like Despair Disease
Charlie and I would rather leave - and your hair agrees
 
You even made Pim despair with your awful tone
And managed to tear apart families that aren’t your own
You’ll be scum under my boot as soon as I’m done with you
My hope will join your weight in the massive things crushing you--!

(Desmond shoots Nagito and he dies. Desmond starts feeling a sense of… happiness inside him...)

Desmond (Happy): (1:38)
That felt… good.

Tired of dementia patients that can’t be quiet?
Know an annoying kid with cancer who hasn’t died yet?
Call Desmond’s Ultimate Control, we’ll take care of him
And save you a bigger fortune than he got from inheritance

We’ll shoot ‘em, burn ‘em, even stab ‘em with a massive spear
Spilling magenta is just how we get around in here
So if you see a one-handed shit you need drawn out
Don’t take a chance - pull the trigger and call now!

Nagito Komaeda vs Desmond. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. Snakebite126 & Matthew Picciotto)

Happy Halloween! As well as a happy 5 year anniversary for yours truly! Didn't want to miss this day for the world, so we've got a new battle for the spooky season! Today we have a battle between two ghosts who rule over haunted mansions, with armies of monsters that'll come after anyone who dare steps foot in them. We have King Boo, the ruler of the boos and Luigi's arch nemesis from the Mario series/Luigi's Mansion games, and Spooky, the cute yet sadistic owner of the titular Jump Scare Mansion. Comment down below who you think won the battle, and feel free to leave suggestions for future battles as well!

Shimario as King Boo
Sanpie as Spooky

Written and Directed by: Shimario
Beat Produced by: Teimunity
Mixed and Mastered by: GamingPlush64
King Boo Art by: Dboy
Spooky Art by: jort and 3ple
Thumbnail by: Shimario
Special Thanks to: TaigaTonic, MetaStarVA, SIR Rap Battles, and ENNWAY

Lyrics: 
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eDqs1vfsE6oWvA4PVwRM2odySsD9xN2Jn8N5n7Alpig/edit?usp=sharing

King Boo vs Spooky - Rap Battle!

these dragons are too scary for me

MetaStarVA as Ridley
Leo Barqui as Rayquaza

Written by MintOreos
Beat by Hollywood Legend
Mixed by Zagranis
Art by MegaPMB

[Verse 1: Rayquaza]
Seems a sinful spirit scaled Sky Pillar to battle
This fight won’t be easy when like Kraid you’ll choke from your shackles
Thought a psycho like you would at least not be a servant to her
But makes sense that Mother Brain would become a giant tumor

Don’t move any further ‘less you desire this dragon’s burns and Outrage
I know your foul play, assassinating any soul you face
So in the clouds I’ll wait to pounce this waste and when you shout in pain
You’ll see this is the one death that you can not fake

Backstory with less meat on it than your skeleton
I’m heaven sent, it took literal plot armor for you to stay relevant
I shouldn’t mention how my legend is never forgotten
When a rat has stopped this false god, now his saga’s gone rotten

[Verse 2: Ridley]
For your life’s sake I wouldn’t try to slander names
I will not be called a slave by a flying garden snake
So, you want to exchange blows? Then let’s get it
Turn the Delta episode to the elegy of this dead prick

Thought this living missile's role in his story would be bigger
But you’ve only played with legends when becoming their babysitter (urgh)
You’re way too bitter, if you’re high off gliding in the galaxy
I’ll crash you back to earth and have you grounded in reality

The casualties I’ve caused surpass the feats in all your fairytales
Though talk of the fairies you fight would likely get you scared and pale
So turn back and surrender to the cunning god of death
And perhaps you’ll go home without a chopped off head (GRAH)

[Verse 3: Rayquaza]
I’ve lived through eons with no sort of revivals (not one)
Yet that’s outshined by the fourth Prime’s production cycle
All of these threats to my life are honestly making me tired (*yawn*)
Can’t call you buff Spyro if you can’t even spit any fire

Couldn’t exploit metroids, so you plan to steal a baby
I mean I guess pirates would in the end be great thieves
Doing that ploy, by choice, even for you is plain crazy
Then your clan met Samus and she left you pushing up daisies

[Verse 4: Ridley]
Christ, you’re done right? That bounty hunter’s parents gave more
Bite in their fight, isn’t giving mouthfuls what you’re made for?
Hell of a savior, couldn’t even make it past the brawl
Falling to the whims of any kid with a master ball

Why do you protect them? It’s not some proud or grand cause
Maybe call Groundon if you want some ground to stand on
Or could it be you haven’t faced enemies that compare to me
When you black out and see stars, it won’t be due to rarity

[Verse 5: Rayquaza]
I exist to shield people from evil, our clash was inevitable
I have too much experience dealing with extra-terrestrials
You’ll never be fit to lead, I’m ending your tyranny
Like Nintendo with Other M I’ll wipe you clean out of history

[Verse 6: Ridley]
Deoxys is nothing to me, I’ll rearrange your DNA
And beat and maim your body so bad no one will find your remains
You’re not the same kind of threat you seemed to be on your cartridge
Tell Arceus, that your carcass is only just the start kid (*screech*)

Ridley vs Rayquaza - Mint Rap Battles (ft. MetaStarVA & Leo Barqui)

Watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/RVPdS1Hm3Z8


► CREDITS:

Snakebite126 as The Cabbage Merchant

Hazelmoth as Morshu

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Cabbage Merchant Art by 3ple

Morshu Art by WAN

Mixed by Serena

Beat Prod. by Grizzly beatz

Cover art by JK03


► LYRICS:

Cabbage Merchant Verse 1

Excuse me, are you in the market for some food, sir?
Your body size suggests that you’re an excellent consumer

But I guess that means my cabbages would not be your first pick
You’d prefer to polish off those chocolate bars above your lip

Woah, don’t do the close-up, just close up your shop
Your store is booming with the children ‘cause you’re doling out bombs!

When it comes to safety, Morshu, you’re worse than Omashu
It’ll cost you more than 20 rubies when I file a lawsuit


Morshu Verse 1

Mmm… sorry sir, if you’re here for a transaction
I’m afraid I can’t accept that kind of cabbage

You have all those heads but your earnings are marred
When you’re roped into fights and get served a la cart 

And your cabbage ain’t fresh, it has a horrible taste
I’m selling oil for lamps, you’re selling oil of snakes

The king would take an octorock over your rotten slop for dinner
Let’s hope your comebacks are less mmm… bitter 


Cabbage Merchant Verse 2

LAY OFF MY CABBAGES you awful subhuman!
If you have beef with cabbage, then go make yourself a Reuben 

It’s true that in my cabbage days I wasn’t selling many
So I built a tech empire even Ganon envies

Cabbage Corp has been successful for years
Your shelves have never been cleared, so either look out or end up like Sears

I went from peasant to celebrity that all the people love
You got famous from two lines, but I only needed one

And your dialogue was poor, so some editors rephrased it
But they took the joke too far and things got a little… racist

Now you’ll join Lupay as you fade into obscurity 
But you still think you’re trending ‘cause you don’t know your own currency

You did amass a following of loser fans on Reddit
But boy, your game’s so weak that even Link couldn’t defend it

And the guy who had to do your voice thought you were so pathetic
That he utilized your methods by refusing to take credit


Morshu Verse 2

Mmm… your cheap tech is maligned across borders
Why don’t you trim my 'stache since you like to cut corners?

It’s obvious why no one buys the products Cabbage Corp supplies
While mine protected Koridai, yours almost let Korra die 

But at your core, you’re a lowly shopkeeper
Plucking cabbage from the ground, but your fans have dug deeper

You kept finding the Avatar and that made people start to think 
About a deep connection? That’s a pretty sorry link

Wait a minute, what’s that slug that’s in your cart?
Mmm… could you have planned an infestation from the start?

You went to Ba Sing Se and it collapsed just days later
(Gasp) You’ve never made a sale but you’re a great traitor

That’s twice now that city customs wouldn’t let you enter 
And you proved your powers as a lawbender

That’s something you’ll face punishment for, you should be scrubbing the floors
But I shall offer you “mercy”. You want it? It’s yours


Morshu vs The Cabbage Merchant. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b_troFbedLws63sreHMapaHb8jpkROt_6FofUAy3JZo/edit?usp=sharing

Credits:
Bug as Gumball Watterson
WhozPhantom as Darwin (The Grieving)
Vladimyr P. as Mordecai (I Can Fix This)
Jort as Rigby (Never, Never)
SkeepTieel as Max_0004
Tornadofajita as Ruby_0004
Light_IWNL as Mr. Bunny (Cameo)
Brodecai & Vladimyr P. as The Announcers

Written by: Vladimyr, Trakked, Brodecai, Stark Media, & [REDACTED]
Beats Produced by: Tristan on The Track

The Amazing World of Gumball: The Grieving vs Regular Show Lost Episodes. Sinister Rap Battles

Binky Barnes • Verse 1: (16 Bars)

I think I’ll be the one to tell you what my problem is
I’ve been watching over you, Wally, and I’ve seen all of it
I came for one thing, try to stop to me, your life is gone
Bust up in your crib and beat those rosy cheeks like Arthur’s mom

I’ll squash the bugs who made this restoration project
Cus there’s no point of trying when your acting like an object
You sit in silence, keeping eyes on people each day
But I’ve heard your Christmas specials, so let’s just keep it that way

But awful singing will not keep me at bay, you best be ready
That Mr. Rogers facade ain’t keeping anyone steady
Bugs on your websites and flies in your wallet, give up already 
Cus you’ve been struggling to come up on any paper like Eddie (…Dayum)

I wouldn’t go band for band, don’t even start it 
PBS has been raking in the green like Frank’s garden
So stay as puppet, inane and your nothing, you’ll crumble
The words on your page won’t be the only thing that’s left jumbled…

Wally Darling • Verse 1: (16 Bars)

What a wonderful kind of day for a battle rap
See, I’m a dog person, I think I can handle that
But protecting this neighborhood from you won’t be hard for me
I’ve been known to throw straight jokes like I was Barnaby!

Ha, ha, ha! But I get it though
Sometimes you just have to do things in order to get your goal
You think you can end your foes, but in every episode 
It doesn’t look like it’s filling the void in your empty soul (Ha, ha, ha!)

You speak of money but I don’t see any coming out
PBS was bumping until the orange man shut it down
Welcome Home’s funding’s gotten a lot from me
All I do is talk in green, I’m pretty fluent in floriography 

Binky bit off more than he can chew, like the talent show
Luke already clocked you for it, make sure that your mouth is closed
And the library too? I’ll shut you down like it’s the guest book
And watch you go up in flames, like my cigarettes would

Binky Barnes • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

You should’ve just went home, It’s clear that my victory here has been set in stone
Stop pushing my buttons or I’ll rip yours out like your eyes or the ones on your telephone
Communicated through spirals and eyes (uh-huh), then W had went and iso’d your site (uh-huh)
It’s ironic that Wally was left in the dark, you could say that the blind lead the blind!

I’ll leave you on read, like a calling cast, cus I don’t have a use for you, no longer
You dummy muppets can’t run, I’m taking your browser with me, I’m a Cookie Monster!
I’ve no time for sheep, this vessel? I will ignore that
But to get home…I had to step on the doormat…

Wally Darling • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

*creeeeeak* you’re right, I do find it silly
That he sucks at everything so much, his parents even named him Binky-
*BANG BANG BANG* I know, stop with your pleas
What can I say? The apple doesn’t fall far from his tree…

You started as a joke, and you kept going down
And I thought we were the ones who were made by a clown
Binky’s lost this, and now he’s getting dropped dead just like his show
I’m on top, you’re on the bottom, as above, so below

Welcome Home vs. You’ve Gotta be Kidding! • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

what's nine lives to twelve ounces?

Written by Worms
Beat produced by prodfuchsia
Mixed by Jordy

AdamDRB as Fritz The Cat
Walk as Mouse “Fitz” Fitzgerald

Lyrics:

Fritz The Cat:
Best start listenin’ to Fritz the cat, ya snivellin’ dork
Leave the poet to be showin’ ya what livin’ is for
You're a pawn for exploitation, gettin’ baited by a loanshark
I don't need this pyromaniac to go get blown hard 
I'm tryna live life to the fullest; I’ll drink, smoke, and shoot up
Anything that gets me fuckin’ close to high as your producers
I get wasted to thrive! You’re rottin’, floored in a binge 
I've fought many a good man, but I ain't sure that you fit

Fitz:
I'm a good… man…fit. A good Fitz, a good fit, for that position. That position being, on top of your wife. 
You never gave her any love. So I took that love. I took it, and, now IT…is mine.

So let me help you out. Cuz I already did that.
Here for the porn shoot? I already did that.
I'm not scared of…any type of food chain
I know I'm too old to be this predator's new prey
(Drinks) …I think you'd out-bend me in a bender
You bend up all your morals if you see a way to bend girls
Right over the couch…then you make a mess
With everyone you've thrown away, I can see why you're rated-ex
You're a stray in the dumps…so get lost.
You couldn't put on the ritz even if you took the F Off
You wanna flip the script like Rhoda…but he died
How about you try a flower if you wanna womanize? (Man-Woman airhorn noise)

Fritz The Cat:
You ignored ya wifey and left your family blighted
Its like everything you did for your daughter was just to spite ‘er
And despite everything, you'll just keep sinking in beer
Ya had one goddamn friend then let that Skillet get seared!
See, I can't stand you fuckin’ “intellectuals”
Out reading books and playing god; well, you can tell me where that's getting ya!
The industry betrayed ya, should've invest in a better clock 
I'll take that shitty Box of Worlds and use it as a litterbox!
I've studied racial issues, and I know what the facts say
Simulation or not, you're trapped within the rat race
So go and get slammed findin’ where your bitch went
Ain't like that fake wife in your mind when I'M fucking implants!

Fitz:
Talk bein’ a father? …To your son, you're like your author 
Dropping you off discarded…cuz that film was corny dogshit 
I get being thirsty (drinks), but you got a problem
Everyone lost because you wanted the L out of Harlem 
Then they bombed it (drinks) …but you know the deal 
Could never put up your dukes, just put up Duke as a shield
I did nothing that you've claimed…Skillet’s right here, pal.
(Skillet screech) …I'm gonna go get a beer now.
