here I am losing myself again :(

out on all plats soon

losing myself again

produced by autrioly

lyrics;
girl when u call me ion wanna pick up
hearing ur voice got me feeling some type of way
if u where me would u not have ur guard up?
if i do not answer the phone dont call me again
u always trying to use the things i say as a weapon
look me in the eyes n tell me u dont love him
take a flight
cuz im jus trying to get high
im jus trying to get by
take a flight
pick up the mic
im feeling alright
yeah

girl when u call me ion wanna pick up
hearing ur voice got me feeling some type of way
if u where me would u not have ur guard up?
if i do not answer the phone dont call me again
u always trying to use the things i say as a weapon
look me in the eyes n tell me u dont love him

i mean ur the reason i been getting all fucked up again

look at me using u as a excuse again
because i dont wanna take the blame for it again
look at me losing myself again
im cutting myself out in the open

i cannot not disappear
so you got and ha

losing myself again (disappear)

produced by lostcage

lyrics;
i got blunt ash on my coat
i got dabs all over my clothes
all i do is fucking smoke
im coughing all night u can hear me choke
i record this song than come up with a emote
than i spend all day in bed watching supernatural
baby wipe ur nose because u look like u got a cold
u fuck with my head n turned my heart to stone
and i feel like theres a rope tied around my throat
im jus too fucked up im too stoned


crashout
crashout
thats all i fucking do
i cant control my anger
its been like 4 months since i been sober
its starting to get warmer
but i still feel colder
im always looking over my shoulder
friends tell me i should ignore her
but i wanna hear her voice
ik i keep making these choices
i like it when she uses me as her toy
because i get some sort of fucking joy
throw me to the side for ur new boy
i mean someones gotta be the villain in your story
it dont matter how many times i say sorry
i did it and im sorry


crashout

produced by tiress

2nd single off my album "losing myself again"

we stan godzilla deadlead we stan him AAAAAA

call backs to a bunch of my songs

lyrics;
run it back x 1000000

run it back

trying sum dif wit this enjoy <3 first single off my album "losing myself again"

produced by Marzada
shoutout jer for the picture

lyrics;

yea
I’m just floating...
In the haze...
Yeah,
Fading out, fading out, fading out...


Floating through the air, but I can’t escape this fate.
Chasing all the memories i see in the night sky,
But I’m stuck in the echo of a faded high.
I’m lost in the smoke, tryna find my reflection.
Thought I’d find peace, but I’m caught up in the noise,
All the voices in my head, they don’t really give me a choice.


I’m drifting slow, yeah, just let me go,
Fading through the static, but I’m barley keeping control.
I’m drifting slow, yeah, just let me go,
im not going home anymore, so just let me go
Fading out, yeah, I’m barely here,
Chasing the sound but I can’t make out the static.
Fading out, I’m losing grip, im hearing things i dont wanna hear

I’ve been searching, for a way to feel whole,
But the pieces don’t fit, and I’m losing control.
I’m tryna find peace, but it’s never in my reach.
smoke in my lungs, i always fill up my chest,

I’m drifting off slow, yeah, just let me go,
Fading through the static, but I’m barley keeping control.
I’m drifting away slow, yeah, just let me go,
im not going home anymore, so just let me go

keeping ctrl

produced by scottysplash

lyrics;
i got years of blood on my hands and I’ll never wash it off
I’m chasing all the drugs, liquor & pain, tryna find a place where I belong
trapped in the shadows, i try to survive, n we don’t care about what cost
I wear a heavy crown, but I wear it like a boss

I’ve been lost, I’ve been down low, its been feeling real empty on my throne
i did say i was never gonna come home, but i don't even know where ill go
i was 18 when I wrote the world is cold & guess what  its still cold
ive been feeling real low, real low, low low low
im trying to fill this whole the only way i ever know

I wear the weight like it's stitched in my skin,
i hold on and beg everyone to forgive 
but all i fucking do is sin
everyday i wanna quit
i tell myself everyday this is it
im trapped, im trapped, im trapped 

we were all supposed to get along
but for how long
playing chants and singing a warriors song
blood shed all over the battle field
and i dont even know what weapon i wield
god told me to go forward 
but im trapped by my past
using my shield to parry 
sword vs sword combat jus to be treated fairly


crown

produced by scottysplash

lyrics;
i been smoking till my eyes go red
i been wasting everyday in this bed
been wishing everyday i was dead
how the fuck do i try when there is nothing left
jus switched my meds
but i dont think theyll fucked up head
but ill try because im always trying my best

i know im a mess
n i know i got these regrets
so why the fuck do i wanna be dead
ive had friends i lost and friends i pushed away
day to day
night to night
im not feeling alright
week to week
month to month
im lost in my head 
i see the seasons changing like its twilight
been a year and i still dont feel any different
been 2 years i been stagnant


mess

produced by scottysplash

last single off of "losing myself again" before release

lyrics;
if ur still up whyd you hit me with a k
i been waiting for a text from u all day


i been getting high like everyday
my first thought is when i wake up im grabbing my tray
im rolling up or chopping up
doesnt matter as long as i get fucked up
every day is clock in than wake n bake
dont reply all week, then i finally reply so she jus hit me with a k
like i care so i hit her back with okay like ur 2 late

yea, yea, yea
im so fucked up i jus threw up
i don't care ima roll up
ion give a fuck ima pour up
i dont give up spark the blunt in the rain
take another shot to numb the brain
feeling all fucked up really does help the pain

shes been getting money
while ya boy is barely able to get by
like im barely able to survive 
but once i again i dont give a fuck
i feel like faze rain when he was listening to zoom
smoking on poison like my name is gloom
she said she was my cinderalla but where is ur shoe
like bro idek why i fuck wit u
when i know u got another dude
not gonna trip over it
ima take this potion i jus brewed
some friends think im cool
some ppl think im cool
but im jus a normal dude

swear i been getting high like everyday
my first thought is when i wake up im grabbing my tray
im rolling up or chopping up
doesnt matter as long as i get fucked up
smoking on gas its real propane
every day is clock in than wake n bake
dont reply all week, then i finally reply so she jus hit me with a k
like i care so i hit her back with okay like ur 2 late

produced by scottyplash

lyrics;
ive never felt so hollow
i wish i believed there is always tomorrow
i wanna believe it, but im drowning in my sorrow
im trapped in this box and i can feel the walls narrow
i feel like i could die today 
sometimes i wonder if anyone would even care though.

wanna escape this life
maybe ill end up in hell or ill find my paradise
maybe that would be nice
i try todo everything right
everything's slowly turning dark again
im falling a path leading me to light

tomorrow (interlude)

produced by branwen

lyrics;
I don’t even know if you think of me still,
I hope you miss me like I miss you,

my head hurts and my heart barley works
pop a pill but that doesnt seem to work
losing my fucking mind
so i get fucked up so i dont feel anyworse
everyday bad things happen like im cursed

my head hurts  (cursed pt.3)

produced by cxrter & braga

lyrics;
i wanna take a portal to another world 
gave most of my time to a new girl
that was jus god throwing me another hurtle
friends dropped me, family wont talk to me
people wont talk to me im ha lf demon but im still mortal
am I dead am I alive either way my bodys laying on the floor tho

i do this to myself
and i repeat the process
i try to looking my brain
it jus repeats non sense 
im booting up fl 
im writing another song
jus for it to sound the same
they all sound the same
when are the lyrics gonna change

put some autotune
add some reverb and compression
record some lyrics about having no compassion or empathy
its hard when the world brought u this far when they brought u here from bullying and other tactics
im not trying to sit here and say my life is tragic
but like it gets hard sometimes
u cant even imagine 
i didnt think i would be doing this music stuff 5 years later
ig i can imagine

ig im the only person i can count on
i dont even look at my flaws anymore
i jus wanna be someone u can be proud of
im jus stuck in place
and the river cant stay stagnant

i wanna take a portal to another world 
gave most of my time to a new girl
that was jus god throwing me another hurtle
friends dropped me, family wont talk to me
people wont talk to me im ha lf demon but im still mortal
am I dead am I alive either way my bodys laying on the floor tho

i dont wanna be alone
but i choose too
i dont wanna be alone
but those doors closed too
i liked the life i had 
but it was over too soon

i wanna take a portal to another world 
gave most of my time to a new girl
that was jus god throwing me another hurtle
friends dropped me, family wont talk to me
people wont talk to me im ha lf demon but im still mortal
am I dead am I alive either way my bodys laying on the floor tho

ig im the only person i can count on
i dont even look at my flaws anymore
i jus wanna be someone u can be proud of
im jus stuck in place
and the river cant stay stagnant forever

another world

produced by autrioly

lyrics;
im taking my lighter and im burning every bridge
i roll up this weed n i take another hit
i pick up this pill bottle and toss 1 down my throat
i keep saying i wanna quit
but its the only thing that makes life easy
if i quit than i feel like id hate it
a life so grey and dull
drugs r the only thing that helps it
ion think i can ever quit

burned bridges

produced by xvn
mixed by me and @web
feat @web

  marsmal:
the pills ease my mind
the henny helps me match the vibe
barely ever do anything but stay inside
feels like this shit is a waste of time
but I do what i want jus to feel alive
drinking again to keep her off my mind
smoking again jus so i dont get to high
my stomach feels like shit but i wanna goto bed
but i cant get the image of her out my head
its filled with this dread

i went from playing mc everyday
todoing these drugs
now they fucking control me
do u rly know me
are you really about that
do u rly wanna be my homie
if u know than u should show me
theres not much in this life
but love and loyality
and thats what i want with the respect
or ill end up fucking dead
this is the end
ion wanna leave my bed
i wanna get the shit off my chest

web:
walking by the train
i could hear the rain fall down
and i dont wanna speak too loud
no idont wanna say that now
no one wanna tell me what to do aye
like how the fuck im supposed to grow and move aye
on your head like toupe
singing shit like duvet
kicking shit like liu kang

marsmal:
the pills ease my mind
the henny helps me match the vibe
barely ever do anything but stay inside
feels like this shit is a waste of time
but I do what i want jus to feel alive
drinking again to keep her off my mind
smoking again jus so i dont get to high
my stomach feels like shit but i wanna goto bed
but i cant get the image of her out my head
its filled with this dread

web:
rain is falling down on the sidewalk
swear im never listened to when i talk
never been so worried bout myself
and i know you're just worried bout my health but
i got checks that i should fucking run up
its all about the money and the drugs bitch fuck love
and imma keep that sentiment till i turn dust

marsmal:
the pills ease my mind
the henny helps me match the vibe
barely ever do anything but stay inside
feels like this shit is a waste of time
but I do what i want jus to feel alive
drinking again to keep her off my mind
smoking again jus so i dont get to high
my stomach feels like shit but i wanna goto bed
but i cant get the image of her out my head
its filled with this dread

pills w/ web

22 | vox/songwriter & engineer 

i make what i want my music isnt for everyone

email - m@scars.online